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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/03/18
...
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
concupiscible background story
  12/03/18
ty!
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
topaz coldplay fan hall
  12/03/18
...
exhilarant up-to-no-good faggot firefighter
  12/24/21
...
provocative very tactful elastic band marketing idea
  12/03/18
...
Mauve curious shrine
  12/03/18
...
Unholy internet-worthy pocket flask
  12/03/18
...
Insecure tattoo
  12/03/18
...
topaz coldplay fan hall
  12/03/18
...
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/07/18
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aphrodisiac native
  12/07/18
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cerebral dog poop coffee pot
  12/07/18
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crimson voyeur rehab
  12/07/18
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Frozen Step-uncle's House Jap
  12/07/18
...
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/14/18
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Heady private investor
  12/14/18
...
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/24/18
...
provocative very tactful elastic band marketing idea
  12/24/18
...
Histrionic cyan tanning salon mexican
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
180 stag film
  12/24/18
120
razzle point
  12/24/18
...
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/24/18
...
razzle point
  12/24/18
...
Marvelous french chef
  12/24/18
...
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/24/18
...
bull headed high-end trust fund
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
sticky senate
  12/24/18
...
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/16/21
...
hateful pisswyrm hospital
  12/24/18
...
Crawly dilemma
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Lascivious chestnut institution
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
sienna racy friendly grandma
  07/01/19
...
provocative very tactful elastic band marketing idea
  07/01/19
...
provocative very tactful elastic band marketing idea
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/10/19
getting close...
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/24/19
...
crusty beady-eyed indian lodge organic girlfriend
  12/24/19
...
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/24/19
...
Orange adventurous area
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
cordovan disrespectful useless brakes ceo
  12/24/19
...
elite insane site
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
sticky senate
  12/24/19
lol
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/24/19
This
exhilarant up-to-no-good faggot firefighter
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Diverse rose garrison
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/24/19
...
bipolar forum people who are hurt
  12/24/19
...
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
exhilarant up-to-no-good faggot firefighter
  12/24/19
...
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/24/19
...
Floppy rigpig resort
  12/24/19
...
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/15/20
...
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/23/20
...
Multi-colored godawful principal's office puppy
  12/24/20
It's time.
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/24/20
...
cerebral dog poop coffee pot
  12/24/20
...
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/16/21
...
Marvelous french chef
  12/16/21
...
Multi-colored godawful principal's office puppy
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/20/21
Lmao
slate wonderful den rigor
  12/20/21
...
sienna racy friendly grandma
  12/22/21
...
slate wonderful den rigor
  12/22/21
...
Spectacular sex offender sanctuary
  12/24/21
...
exhilarant up-to-no-good faggot firefighter
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: concupiscible background story

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: topaz coldplay fan hall

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: exhilarant up-to-no-good faggot firefighter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: provocative very tactful elastic band marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Mauve curious shrine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Unholy internet-worthy pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Insecure tattoo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: topaz coldplay fan hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: aphrodisiac native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: cerebral dog poop coffee pot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: crimson voyeur rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Frozen Step-uncle's House Jap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Heady private investor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: provocative very tactful elastic band marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Histrionic cyan tanning salon mexican



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: 180 stag film

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: razzle point

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: razzle point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Marvelous french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: bull headed high-end trust fund



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: sticky senate

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: hateful pisswyrm hospital



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Crawly dilemma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Lascivious chestnut institution

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: provocative very tactful elastic band marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: provocative very tactful elastic band marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: crusty beady-eyed indian lodge organic girlfriend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Orange adventurous area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: cordovan disrespectful useless brakes ceo

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: elite insane site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: sticky senate

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: exhilarant up-to-no-good faggot firefighter

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Diverse rose garrison

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: bipolar forum people who are hurt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: exhilarant up-to-no-good faggot firefighter

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Floppy rigpig resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Multi-colored godawful principal's office puppy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: cerebral dog poop coffee pot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Marvelous french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Multi-colored godawful principal's office puppy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: slate wonderful den rigor

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: sienna racy friendly grandma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: slate wonderful den rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Spectacular sex offender sanctuary



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: exhilarant up-to-no-good faggot firefighter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#49538935)