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a day in the life of a Snail: an original XO Choose Your Own Adventure Novel

You don't have any work today because you basically only wor...
flatulent well-lubricated area ceo
  12/29/15
b!
charismatic infuriating death wish lodge
  12/29/15
C
Glittery sanctuary kitty
  12/29/15
...
drunken hell
  12/29/15
c
Heady set generalized bond
  12/29/15
a
Navy fear-inspiring tank plaza
  12/29/15
a
Razzle-dazzle fishy sound barrier casino
  12/29/15
Next chapter please
charismatic infuriating death wish lodge
  12/29/15
I can', A & B ar tied :(
flatulent well-lubricated area ceo
  12/29/15
...
drunken hell
  12/29/15
Fine I change my vote to A.
charismatic infuriating death wish lodge
  12/29/15
a provides nutrition and wont let you starve
arousing cyan roommate heaven
  12/29/15
...
drunken hell
  12/29/15
?
arousing cyan roommate heaven
  12/29/15
...
drunken hell
  12/29/15
You lug the turkey chili home as you wonder what it would fe...
flatulent well-lubricated area ceo
  12/29/15
...
drunken hell
  12/29/15
c for sure
arousing cyan roommate heaven
  12/29/15
C
Razzle-dazzle fishy sound barrier casino
  12/29/15
c
Hairraiser house-broken halford kitchen
  12/29/15
Xo
Glittery sanctuary kitty
  12/29/15
chaturbate
ultramarine frisky elastic band
  12/30/15
C!
charismatic infuriating death wish lodge
  12/29/15
NEXT CHAPTER
charismatic infuriating death wish lodge
  12/29/15
everyone in this thread unzips.
Judgmental Chapel
  12/29/15
...
drunken hell
  12/29/15
...
Glittery sanctuary kitty
  12/29/15
Did they turn off Snailmo's electricity?
Hairraiser house-broken halford kitchen
  12/29/15
no, i think he found a job, and a girlfriend
Canary Forum
  12/29/15
lol ouch
Odious Personal Credit Line Den
  12/30/15
he is busy doing tinychat
arousing cyan roommate heaven
  12/29/15
...
histrionic maize laser beams
  12/30/15
...
drunken hell
  12/30/15
Topic has amazing potential.
useless locus
  12/30/15
You log into chaturbate in order to watch a session of some ...
flatulent well-lubricated area ceo
  12/30/15
2
Odious Personal Credit Line Den
  12/30/15
I choose 2, sounds like a great opportunity to bash BOOMER s...
useless locus
  12/30/15
police
ultramarine frisky elastic band
  12/30/15
1
Razzle-dazzle fishy sound barrier casino
  12/30/15
lol r u like a genderfuluid snail or sth
Glittery sanctuary kitty
  12/30/15
...
Glittery sanctuary kitty
  01/02/16
4 and 180
Hairraiser house-broken halford kitchen
  12/30/15
Wake up and post please.
Hairraiser house-broken halford kitchen
  12/30/15
...
Glittery sanctuary kitty
  12/30/15
18000000000000000000000000000000000
white razzmatazz stead pervert
  01/11/16
...
Arrogant pocket flask
  11/05/20
next chapter please!
Vigorous zombie-like mad-dog skullcap
  11/05/20
...
bungulator
  12/13/25
...
Chocolate Diverse Persian Crackhouse
  11/05/20


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:54 PM
Author: flatulent well-lubricated area ceo

You don't have any work today because you basically only work two days out of seven at most. Instead, you are at the local grocery store, pondering how to use your EBT card.

Snow falls to the ground outside as you wish you could drink yourself silly, fall into a snow pile, and never wake up. The store has a pungent odor that one naturally associates with inner-city grocery stores.

Everything in the store reminds you that CAPITALISM is bullshit FRAUD AND LIES where proles fucking SCAVENGE to live when faggot parasite bankers and lawyers and eating out to celebrate RAPING this country and everyone in it. Kill all elites by tearing their limbs off with horses and their families too.

Anyways, you only have enough remaining on your EBT to purchase one of the three products on sale:

a) six cans of turkey chili

b) two liters of diet coke

c) a bunch of bananas

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29480960)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:56 PM
Author: charismatic infuriating death wish lodge

b!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29480979)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:15 PM
Author: Glittery sanctuary kitty

C

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481594)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:55 PM
Author: drunken hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29480970)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:56 PM
Author: Heady set generalized bond

c

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29480973)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:56 PM
Author: Navy fear-inspiring tank plaza

a

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29480975)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:57 PM
Author: Razzle-dazzle fishy sound barrier casino

a

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29480989)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:11 PM
Author: charismatic infuriating death wish lodge

Next chapter please

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481133)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:15 PM
Author: flatulent well-lubricated area ceo

I can', A & B ar tied :(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481164)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:20 PM
Author: drunken hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481212)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:21 PM
Author: charismatic infuriating death wish lodge

Fine I change my vote to A.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:22 PM
Author: arousing cyan roommate heaven

a

provides nutrition and wont let you starve

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481222)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:23 PM
Author: drunken hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481225)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:30 PM
Author: arousing cyan roommate heaven

?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481285)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:31 PM
Author: drunken hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481289)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:30 PM
Author: flatulent well-lubricated area ceo

You lug the turkey chili home as you wonder what it would feel like if you shoved it all up your ass. Your death would be a slightly less humiliating than your actual "life".

Once you get home, you throw it all and start smacking it open with your broken can opener. It's broken because you got it from the Dollar Tree a year ago and you use it all the fucking time because you're too fucking depressed to cook FUCK OBAMA'S AMERICA.

After microwaving it, you douse it in tabasco sauce that you STOLE from Chipotle because LLJL fuck those shitlib faggots, it's so 180 to go at peak hour and just fucking steal sauce. You hope you get arrested one day because at least jail provides life structure.

While eating, you have four tabs open on the computer. None of them are XO. Which do you go on while eating your SHITchili

a) facebook

b) ashemaletv

c) chaturbate

d) drudgereport

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481288)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:31 PM
Author: drunken hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481296)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:32 PM
Author: arousing cyan roommate heaven

c for sure

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:33 PM
Author: Razzle-dazzle fishy sound barrier casino

C

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481311)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:56 PM
Author: Hairraiser house-broken halford kitchen

c

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481436)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:16 PM
Author: Glittery sanctuary kitty

Xo

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481600)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:58 AM
Author: ultramarine frisky elastic band

chaturbate

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29482189)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:31 PM
Author: charismatic infuriating death wish lodge

C!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481291)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:51 PM
Author: charismatic infuriating death wish lodge

NEXT CHAPTER

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481403)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:00 PM
Author: Judgmental Chapel

everyone in this thread unzips.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481469)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:15 PM
Author: drunken hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481596)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:14 PM
Author: Glittery sanctuary kitty



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481589)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:33 PM
Author: Hairraiser house-broken halford kitchen

Did they turn off Snailmo's electricity?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481713)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:39 PM
Author: Canary Forum

no, i think he found a job, and a girlfriend

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481748)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:41 AM
Author: Odious Personal Credit Line Den

lol ouch

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29482097)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:47 PM
Author: arousing cyan roommate heaven

he is busy doing tinychat

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29481804)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:38 AM
Author: histrionic maize laser beams



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29482070)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:39 AM
Author: drunken hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29482079)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:40 AM
Author: useless locus

Topic has amazing potential.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29482091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:01 AM
Author: flatulent well-lubricated area ceo

You log into chaturbate in order to watch a session of some dude that you've been following since you found his pictures on a /pol/ thread describing how DEGENERATE transexuals are. JFC shitlibs are really disgusting just trying to shove all of this trans shit down our throat. fuck Obama, we should drag out all media FAGGOTS from their home like that 180000 scene in the Dark Knight Arises where Bane39 takes over Gotham.

You shovel turkey chili in your mouth and you can't help stop thinking about Benzo's asshole and retching, so you put it away for a bit.

Instead, you decide to FURIOUSLY stroke your SPERMWYRM to the long-haired crossdresser on the stream as he seductively WIGGLES his puckered BUTTHOLE.

It is enjoyable and you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, until something horrifying pops out of his shirt. He has BREASTS now. Your wyrm reddens and shrinkens as you realize that he is now identifying as a "she" and has become taking hormones. In disgust, you throw off your Beats!(tm) headphones (they were a gift) and close the window. You zip up your pants angrily as yet another fine day RUINED by libs.

You decide to research more possible career paths that you will never accomplish while you finish your chili. What do you research?

1) Military

2) Police

3) Education

4) Computer Science

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29482203)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:03 AM
Author: Odious Personal Credit Line Den

2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29482210)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:03 AM
Author: useless locus

I choose 2, sounds like a great opportunity to bash BOOMER scum.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29482211)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:08 AM
Author: ultramarine frisky elastic band

police

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29482227)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:09 AM
Author: Razzle-dazzle fishy sound barrier casino

1

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29482232)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:49 AM
Author: Glittery sanctuary kitty

lol r u like a genderfuluid snail or sth

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29482337)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 2nd, 2016 2:50 PM
Author: Glittery sanctuary kitty



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29505583)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 2:02 AM
Author: Hairraiser house-broken halford kitchen

4 and 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29482377)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 11:26 AM
Author: Hairraiser house-broken halford kitchen

Wake up and post please.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29483717)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 11:10 PM
Author: Glittery sanctuary kitty



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29488970)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 11th, 2016 10:55 AM
Author: white razzmatazz stead pervert

18000000000000000000000000000000000

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#29570485)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2020 8:16 AM
Author: Arrogant pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#41284039)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2020 8:22 AM
Author: Vigorous zombie-like mad-dog skullcap

next chapter please!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#41284068)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 13th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: bungulator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#49506318)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2020 8:34 AM
Author: Chocolate Diverse Persian Crackhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2.#41284137)