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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/03/18
...
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
cracking fighting crackhouse athletic conference
  12/03/18
ty!
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
fishy cerebral persian
  12/03/18
...
smoky pit trump supporter
  12/24/21
...
wine sinister orchestra pit skinny woman
  12/03/18
...
deranged aquamarine faggot firefighter
  12/03/18
...
Clear chapel twinkling uncleanness
  12/03/18
...
Deep filthpig piazza
  12/03/18
...
fishy cerebral persian
  12/03/18
...
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/07/18
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cobalt boiling water
  12/07/18
...
up-to-no-good step-uncle's house
  12/07/18
...
Charismatic cordovan sweet tailpipe
  12/07/18
...
laughsome sickened house
  12/07/18
...
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/14/18
...
Fuchsia station depressive
  12/14/18
...
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/24/18
...
wine sinister orchestra pit skinny woman
  12/24/18
...
cowardly beady-eyed parlor scourge upon the earth
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Galvanic saffron keepsake machete
  12/24/18
120
slap-happy rehab degenerate
  12/24/18
...
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/24/18
...
slap-happy rehab degenerate
  12/24/18
...
Bat-shit-crazy business firm
  12/24/18
...
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/24/18
...
cerise sanctuary
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
Comical Ticket Booth
  12/24/18
...
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/16/21
...
Razzmatazz Background Story School
  12/24/18
...
razzle-dazzle center
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Provocative honey-headed chad alpha
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  07/01/19
...
wine sinister orchestra pit skinny woman
  07/01/19
...
wine sinister orchestra pit skinny woman
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/10/19
getting close...
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/24/19
...
Motley Abnormal Sneaky Criminal Meetinghouse
  12/24/19
...
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/24/19
...
brindle arousing heaven
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Bright giraffe
  12/24/19
...
Godawful people who are hurt native
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Comical Ticket Booth
  12/24/19
lol
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/24/19
This
smoky pit trump supporter
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
histrionic foreskin
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/24/19
...
ebony spectacular corner haunted graveyard
  12/24/19
...
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
smoky pit trump supporter
  12/24/19
...
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/24/19
...
mentally impaired black brunch police squad
  12/24/19
...
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/15/20
...
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/23/20
...
Magenta Fantasy-prone Locale Prole
  12/24/20
It's time.
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/24/20
...
up-to-no-good step-uncle's house
  12/24/20
...
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/16/21
...
Bat-shit-crazy business firm
  12/16/21
...
Magenta Fantasy-prone Locale Prole
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/20/21
Lmao
orange love of her life affirmative action
  12/20/21
...
Indecent Haunting Lettuce
  12/22/21
...
orange love of her life affirmative action
  12/22/21
...
yellow old irish cottage
  12/24/21
...
smoky pit trump supporter
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: cracking fighting crackhouse athletic conference

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: fishy cerebral persian

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: smoky pit trump supporter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: wine sinister orchestra pit skinny woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: deranged aquamarine faggot firefighter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Clear chapel twinkling uncleanness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Deep filthpig piazza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: fishy cerebral persian



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: cobalt boiling water



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: up-to-no-good step-uncle's house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Charismatic cordovan sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: laughsome sickened house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Fuchsia station depressive



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: wine sinister orchestra pit skinny woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: cowardly beady-eyed parlor scourge upon the earth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Galvanic saffron keepsake machete

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: slap-happy rehab degenerate

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: slap-happy rehab degenerate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Bat-shit-crazy business firm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: cerise sanctuary



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Comical Ticket Booth

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Razzmatazz Background Story School



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: razzle-dazzle center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Provocative honey-headed chad alpha

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: wine sinister orchestra pit skinny woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: wine sinister orchestra pit skinny woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Motley Abnormal Sneaky Criminal Meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: brindle arousing heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Bright giraffe

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: Godawful people who are hurt native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Comical Ticket Booth

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: smoky pit trump supporter

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: histrionic foreskin

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: ebony spectacular corner haunted graveyard



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: smoky pit trump supporter

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: mentally impaired black brunch police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Magenta Fantasy-prone Locale Prole



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: up-to-no-good step-uncle's house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Bat-shit-crazy business firm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Magenta Fantasy-prone Locale Prole



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: orange love of her life affirmative action

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Indecent Haunting Lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: orange love of her life affirmative action



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: yellow old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: smoky pit trump supporter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#49538935)