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I picked Thailand because, uh, because I always had a thing for Asian girls, you
| Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e | 09/19/26 |
| Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e | 09/19/26 |
| Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e | 09/19/26 |
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Date: September 19th, 2026 6:41 PM Author: Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e (One Year Performance 1978-1979 (Cage Piece) (Awfully coy u are)) I picked Thailand because, uh, because I always had a thing for Asian girls, you know. And when I got here, you know, I was like a kid in a candy store: got money, no attachments, nothing to do, and I started partying. It got wild. I was picking up girls every night.
Always different ones. Petite ones, chubby ones, older ones, and sometimes multiple ladies a night. I - I was out of control. I became insatiable.
And, you know, after about a thousand nights like that, you start to lose it. I started wondering "where am going with this? Wh- why do I feel this need to fuck all these women? What is desire? The form of this cute Asian girl, why does it have such a grip on me? Because she's the opposite of me? Is she gonna complete me in some way?"
I realized, I could fuck a million women, I'd still never be satisfied. Maybe - maybe what I really want is to BE one of these Asian girls. |
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Date: September 19th, 2026 6:45 PM Author: Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e (One Year Performance 1978-1979 (Cage Piece) (Awfully coy u are)) No, really. Really. So one night I took home some girl, turned out to be a ladyboy, which I'd done before, but this time, instead of fucking the ladyboy, the ladyboy fucked ME. And it was kinda magical. And it got outta my head, what I really wanted was to BE one of these Asian girls, getting fucked, by me, and to feel that.
So I put out an ad, looking for a white guy, my age, to come over and fuck me. And that guy looked a lot like me. Then I put on some lingerie and perfume, made myself look like one of these girls, and - I thought I looked pretty hot. And then this guy came over and railed the shit outta me. And then I got addicted to that. Some nights three, four guys would come over and rail the shit outta me. Some I even had to pay. And at the same time, I'd hire an Asian girl, that'd just sit there and watch the whole thing. I'd look in her eyes while some guy was fucking me and I'd think, "I am her. And I'm fucking me. |
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Date: September 19th, 2026 6:46 PM Author: Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e (One Year Performance 1978-1979 (Cage Piece) (Awfully coy u are)) Hey, we all have our Achilles heel, man, ya know? Where does it come from? Why are some of us attracted to the opposite form, ya know, and some of us the same? Sex is a poetic act, it's a metaphor. Metaphor for what? Are we our forms? Am I a middle-aged white guy on the inside, too? Or inside, could I be an Asian girl?
I guess I was trying to fuck my way to the answer. And then I realized, I gotta - I gotta stop, the drugs, the girls, the, you know, trying to be a girl. I got into Buddhism, which is all about, you know, spirit versus form, detaching from self, getting off the never-ending carousel of lust and suffering. Being sober isn't so hard. Being celibate, though, it's...I still miss that bussy, man. |