We were all packing up, getting ready to head back home. I was loading our car, when I looked up and saw my wife and my friend. There were at the campsite, several feet away. She was bent over to pick something up, and in that split second, I saw him reach out and squeeze her hip, sliding his hand down to her ass. My wife quickly pushed his hand away, but she didn’t look upset. She was smiling at him - almost playfully(?) It all happened so fast, maybe a second or two, but it felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. I glanced around, but no one else seemed to have seen it. His wife was busy packing up their car, and the other couple was further away, chatting about the ride back.

The drive home was quiet. My wife tried making conversation, but I couldn’t focus. My mind kept replaying that scene over and over. When she asked why I was so quiet, I lied and said I was just thinking about work. The truth is, I was in shock. I didn’t want to bring it up. If I mentioned it, she might tell me I was imagining things, that I was being ridiculous. The rest of the day I felt like I was just moving on autopilot. I barely slept last night and can hardly focus at work today. My mind keeps racing, questioning every detail. Aside from what I saw, the rest of the trip was great and nothing seemed out of place. A part of me is wondering if read the whole situation wrong. But, the look on her face, that smile—it was too friendly, too casual for something that crossed a line like that.

I love my wife to death. We’ve been together since freshman year of college, and I’ve never had reason to doubt her. She’s my best friend. But now, for the first time, there’s this knot in my gut that I can’t untangle. I’ve never been the type to snoop. I’ve always trusted her completely. But right now, I’m sitting here, wondering if I should check her phone. It's password protected, so even if I wanted to, I don’t know how I’d do it without her finding out. This is eating me up and I know I need to do something about it.

WIBTAH to go through her phone? And even if I wanted to, how can I if it is password protected?

UPDATE*

Found her iPAD - it didn’t have a password, so I got in and it is still connected to her phone. She has Telegram on it. They’ve been chatting on there. I am still going through the messages, but she is cheating. I am not falling apart yet, I’m trying to keep it together to make the correct next move without fucking this up. What do I do? Do I confront her when she gets home? Do I go to his house and confront him? Please help.

UPDATE 2*

Thank you all for your advice. I didn't tell her anything. I have locked myself up in my home office under the pretence of needing to catch up on work. She is not suspicious. I kept the IPad with me, she hasn't used in so long she won't even know it's missing. I took pictures of all their messages using my phone as a safety measure as well. They have been chatting for at last 8 months as far as I can tell. Telegram is their main communication channel it seems. They've sent each other nudes, sex messages, and making plans on making their relationship official after leaving me and his wife. I can't believe she would do this to me. From the messages, I saw she had sent him a sexy suggestive photo of herself on her way to the gym earlier this evening, and when she got back home, she started kissing me, wanting sex. I declined saying I needed to get work done.

I am confused right now and unable to think clearly, so I will follow the advice I am offered here: lawyer, gather evidence. I will work on those. I also saw several comments advising me to separate my finances from hers. We co-own the apartment we live in, and have joint bank accounts. My parents died in a car crash 2 years ago and left me a large inheritance, which she knows about. She does not have access to the money in that fund, is there anything I need to do to protect myself there if it comes to that point?

We don't have kids yet.

UPDATE 3*

I work from home sometimes and didn’t have any meetings this morning, so I spent it researching and calling lawyers. I have two consultations lined up for tomorrow, but the majority couldn’t book me in until next week.

I will tell his wife and show her proof as soon as I settle on a lawyer and get myself covered first. Once she’s been informed, I will give her time to get her affairs in order and secure a lawyer if that’s what she wants to do before I decide what to do next, such as confronting my wife.

I don’t understand how I’m feeling. I am not angry for some reason. More numb maybe. Sick and nauseous when I think of the messages I’ve read, especially the sex messages. I just feel like I am just doing the things that I need to be doing right now, but it’s almost like I am living somebody else’s life. I don’t know how long I can keep up the poker face without her noticing something is up.

Thanks for your messages and support.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5613411&forum_id=2Elisa#48209826)

Afraid so

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5613411&forum_id=2Elisa#48209846)

begin moving your assets slowly but surely over to bitcoin. get a private wallet and a ledger. do this for 6-18 months.

while this is going on, get a account on seeking.com, start banging younger hotter women regularly, but make sure your wife doesnt find out. consider a few weekends away with a young cute girl.

then youre going to go to kinkos and get all the screnshots of proof of cheating printed out on huge posters. ideally some nude pics your wife sent this guy, his dick pics etc.

youre going to throw a big party around the holiday or your wifes bday, and your going to wait until all her friends, her parents, and your cheater friend are there. youre going to bring the posters out and place them around the party and wait to see everyones reaction. dont say a word, just enjoy the moment.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5613411&forum_id=2Elisa#48209843)