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Anyone know who the Biglaw Biter is?

Vampire or Biglaw summer associate? You be the judge. Thi...
Aqua galvanic jewess masturbator
  07/17/25
where is the cleary diver these days
Appetizing House-broken Business Firm Queen Of The Night
  07/17/25
Can smoeone not at Above the Law write this story.
Swollen Topaz Halford Library
  07/17/25
wtf, this gave me nostalgia for the good ol' days. I have s...
Painfully honest dragon coldplay fan
  07/20/25
just waybackarchive the biglaw reddit thread
Anal Feces Affirmative Action
  07/17/25
The New York Post has picked up the story. https://nypost...
Silver Friendly Grandma
  07/19/25
"The bites were not “in an aggressive, ‘we&...
Aqua galvanic jewess masturbator
  07/20/25
why dont they link picture? all important ?
Bonkers locus degenerate
  07/20/25
she's probably ugly AF only reason she was canned
Anal Feces Affirmative Action
  07/20/25
She got to like 10 bites dude. This is going to be a smokes...
Aqua galvanic jewess masturbator
  07/22/25
some rice paddy peasant slobbering all over your armani suit
Anal Feces Affirmative Action
  07/22/25
Expect more of this, now that summer classes are Gen Z.
Chest-beating Comical Doctorate
  07/20/25
She sounds hot
Carmine Hot Athletic Conference
  07/20/25
https://www.rollonfriday.com/news-content/ouch-sidley-intern...
Painfully honest dragon coldplay fan
  07/20/25
nothing in the rules ...
burgundy at-the-ready orchestra pit
  07/20/25
Picked up by the XO Daily Mail. https://www.dailymail.co.uk...
gay arousing institution
  07/21/25
...
soggy travel guidebook
  07/22/25
...
soggy travel guidebook
  07/22/25
LAW BITES LAW BLEEDS IT'S BRINGING ME TO MY KNEES
heady pozpig chad
  07/22/25
i love vampyres
irradiated bull headed forum twinkling uncleanness
  07/22/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2025 9:27 PM
Author: Aqua galvanic jewess masturbator

Vampire or Biglaw summer associate? You be the judge.

This is a story you’re really going to chew on for a while. A Sidley summer associate in the New York office who we’ll refer to as Biglaw Biter (for reasons that will soon be apparent) was let go after a series of incidents with other employees. What happened you ask? She bit other people at work. You are not reading this incorrectly: a Biglaw summer associate bit people at the firm — with her teeth.

(For the record, before settling on the alliterative Biglaw Biter as the summer’s code name, we did consider Sidley Masticator, Scrumptious Summer, Champion Chomper, Mike Tyson of Biglaw, and the close runner-up, Associate Lecter.)

According to insiders at the firm, pretty much from the start of the summer, the Biglaw Biter started chomping away at other employees at Sidley Gnaw-stin — not in an aggressive, “we’re beefing” way, but more of a faux-quirky manic pixie dream girl crossed with the Donner party vibe. But like, you’re in NYC for the summer — if you want to get your kicks by biting people, there are more consensual ways to do it.

The final chomp-count is thought to be in the double digits — which is an awfully long time for the nibbling to continue. (Though I’ve seen pics of the results post-Biglaw Biter, and “nibble” is probably too tame a word. No one should have marks on their person after an interaction with a co-worker in Biglaw — emotional and psychological scars only!) It’s unclear why so many people let this go before reporting the Biglaw Biter, but the rumor is she’s otherwise personable and there was some reluctance to elevate the matter.

It’s just wild that this happened in Biglaw. A single bite is enough to get a toddler written up in an incident report from daycare. And if the biting goes on 10+ times? That’ll get you kicked out of daycare.

And Biglaw too, as it happens.

Not since the aughts have I heard a tale of such out-of-pocket summer associate behavior. There were strip club visits (Opens in a new window)and expense accounts gone wild (Opens in a new window), but obviously, the classic of the genre is Aquagirl (Opens in a new window). Above the Law has long referred to her exploits as the bar for summer associate behavior (though the Biglaw Biter just might take the crown). For those that were in their preschool biting phase back in 2006, Aquagirl (Opens in a new window)was a Cleary summer associate who drunkenly stripped down to her underwear at an event at Chelsea Piers and jumped into the Hudson River. Ultimately she had to be rescued in a boat — but still ended the summer with an offer.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751619&forum_id=2Elisa#49110557)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2025 9:32 PM
Author: Appetizing House-broken Business Firm Queen Of The Night

where is the cleary diver these days

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751619&forum_id=2Elisa#49110566)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2025 9:39 PM
Author: Swollen Topaz Halford Library

Can smoeone not at Above the Law write this story.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751619&forum_id=2Elisa#49110577)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 20th, 2025 4:06 PM
Author: Painfully honest dragon coldplay fan

wtf, this gave me nostalgia for the good ol' days. I have so many stories of summer associate drama that basically went extinct as the programs shrank and the only people that got one of these were the most risk-averse of the risk-averse.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751619&forum_id=2Elisa#49116817)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2025 9:53 PM
Author: Anal Feces Affirmative Action

just waybackarchive the biglaw reddit thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751619&forum_id=2Elisa#49110626)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 19th, 2025 10:55 AM
Author: Silver Friendly Grandma

The New York Post has picked up the story.

https://nypost.com/2025/07/19/us-news/cannibalistic-intern-fired-from-nyc-law-firm-for-biting-up-to-ten-coworkers-report/

The firm declined to comment. But an insider told The Post the intern bit only five employees and that exaggerations were now flooding the internet.

“People are outright making things up at this point,” echoed a Reddit user who claimed to work with the masticator at Sidley.

“I just want to ask people to please remember that there’s a human being on the other end of this story — someone whose mental health is a genuine concern, and who is probably feeling like her life is ruined right now,” the July 11 post continued. “She made a really stupid mistake and has paid the price for it.”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751619&forum_id=2Elisa#49114152)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 20th, 2025 3:31 PM
Author: Aqua galvanic jewess masturbator

"The bites were not “in an aggressive, ‘we’re beefing’ way” – but rather, “a faux-quirky manic pixie dream girl crossed with the Donner party vibe,” the outlet reported.

“It’s unclear why so many people let this go before reporting the Biglaw Biter, but the rumor is she’s otherwise personable and there was some reluctance to elevate the matter,” the outlet reported, citing unnamed sources.

-----

Honestly, she sounds cute af. I'm thinking like a 30 years' younger Amy C. Barrett.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751619&forum_id=2Elisa#49116771)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 20th, 2025 3:48 PM
Author: Bonkers locus degenerate

why dont they link picture? all important ?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751619&forum_id=2Elisa#49116793)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 20th, 2025 4:09 PM
Author: Anal Feces Affirmative Action

she's probably ugly AF

only reason she was canned

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751619&forum_id=2Elisa#49116823)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 22nd, 2025 12:36 PM
Author: Aqua galvanic jewess masturbator

She got to like 10 bites dude. This is going to be a smokeshow.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751619&forum_id=2Elisa#49121712)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 22nd, 2025 1:05 PM
Author: Anal Feces Affirmative Action

some rice paddy peasant slobbering all over your armani suit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751619&forum_id=2Elisa#49121813)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 20th, 2025 4:00 PM
Author: Chest-beating Comical Doctorate

Expect more of this, now that summer classes are Gen Z.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751619&forum_id=2Elisa#49116806)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 20th, 2025 4:10 PM
Author: Carmine Hot Athletic Conference

She sounds hot

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751619&forum_id=2Elisa#49116824)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 20th, 2025 4:10 PM
Author: Painfully honest dragon coldplay fan

https://www.rollonfriday.com/news-content/ouch-sidley-intern-expelled-biting

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751619&forum_id=2Elisa#49116825)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 20th, 2025 4:15 PM
Author: burgundy at-the-ready orchestra pit

nothing in the rules ...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751619&forum_id=2Elisa#49116834)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 21st, 2025 3:53 PM
Author: gay arousing institution

Picked up by the XO Daily Mail.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14922813/summer-associate-fired-law-firm-biting-colleagues-newyork.html

CSLG - Try to get on Matt Gaetz's show to discuss this one.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751619&forum_id=2Elisa#49119410)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 22nd, 2025 12:36 AM
Author: soggy travel guidebook



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751619&forum_id=2Elisa#49120533)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 22nd, 2025 12:03 PM
Author: soggy travel guidebook



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751619&forum_id=2Elisa#49121599)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 22nd, 2025 12:37 PM
Author: heady pozpig chad

LAW BITES

LAW BLEEDS

IT'S BRINGING ME TO MY KNEES

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751619&forum_id=2Elisa#49121716)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 22nd, 2025 12:49 PM
Author: irradiated bull headed forum twinkling uncleanness

i love vampyres

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751619&forum_id=2Elisa#49121759)