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What's the dumbest thing you've done while drunk?

I think i get a 180 for this, or wasnt driving or texting a...
Soggy Theater
  07/11/25
trying to navigate the real world while drunk can actually b...
magical startled death wish
  07/11/25
It was really funny because he was getting really pissed off...
Soggy Theater
  07/11/25
180 ^ 180
magical startled death wish
  07/11/25
...
sticky hilarious stag film
  07/11/25
The first and only time I drove drunk I was 19 and at a hous...
Sable rehab
  07/11/25
I was also 19 but I got home and fell asleep in the back yar...
wine ticket booth
  07/11/25
Got in a fight with my wife and drove to my office intending...
Yellow Doctorate Deer Antler
  07/11/25
Lol this is cr. When you're about to move out and by the tim...
Soggy Theater
  07/11/25
...
magical startled death wish
  07/11/25
I once went for drinks after work in the office and came bac...
razzle-dazzle fluffy nowag
  07/15/25
Hit on various women who rejected me.
provocative persian jap
  07/11/25
...
chocolate laser beams
  07/12/25
My worst was a hotel front desk clerk.
chocolate laser beams
  07/12/25
did you drunkenly assume he likes fat guys?
floppy frum locale
  07/13/25
I have done this so many times it's hard to find a worst, bu...
provocative persian jap
  07/14/25
Ive done a lot of fairly stupid shit while drunk, but one th...
magical startled death wish
  07/11/25
I also once climbed out my bedroom window to avoid inviting ...
magical startled death wish
  07/11/25
let a random guy on the street make a phone call with my cel...
sexy property
  07/11/25
lol
brass background story
  07/11/25
how did the random guy turn the stove on
Soggy Theater
  07/11/25
lol separate events! but i do appreciate the innuendo
sexy property
  07/11/25
go to law school.
Spectacular adulterous antidepressant drug state
  07/11/25
...
magical startled death wish
  07/11/25
...
out-of-control excitant chapel coldplay fan
  07/11/25
blacked out while driving, twice. made it home fine but holy...
bull headed wonderful boiling water people who are hurt
  07/11/25
Incredible poast/moniker synergy
magical startled death wish
  07/11/25
...
Twinkling contagious roast beef
  07/11/25
...
out-of-control excitant chapel coldplay fan
  07/11/25
Hooked up with guy, puked in his bathroom, used towel to cle...
magical startled death wish
  07/11/25
I love how the focal point of this short vignette is that it...
Racy Sanctuary Elastic Band
  07/15/25
A law professor waved at me while passing me in the hallway ...
Pea-brained Pale Menage
  07/11/25
...
magical startled death wish
  07/11/25
...
jet business firm idea he suggested
  07/11/25
Soo cr
Soggy Theater
  07/11/25
...
hairraiser orange hell patrolman
  07/11/25
Pumpkin beers.
Yellow Doctorate Deer Antler
  07/11/25
...
sticky hilarious stag film
  07/11/25
...
Twinkling contagious roast beef
  07/11/25
...
wine ticket booth
  07/11/25
...
out-of-control excitant chapel coldplay fan
  07/11/25
...
zombie-like cumskin
  07/11/25
lmfao
indecent buff resort
  07/13/25
why were you drunk at school?
Talented rigor turdskin
  07/13/25
??
Soggy Theater
  07/15/25
...
chocolate laser beams
  07/14/25
...
Sable rehab
  07/14/25
...
Aquamarine Institution
  07/14/25
...
Charismatic potus hall
  07/14/25
Snuck out of my parents' house and walked with some friends ...
ruby address
  07/11/25
Given that you now white knight for angel reese, id say your...
magical startled death wish
  07/11/25
i can't imagine hating on angel reese. if you watched her at...
ruby address
  07/11/25
She's so cool and I love her eyelashes so you know she's a f...
Soggy Theater
  07/11/25
you're a cool female!
ruby address
  07/11/25
i moved to MFH and had absolutely no friends. Not even acqua...
rebellious messiness
  07/11/25
180
thriller tripping nursing home
  07/11/25
180 need more stories from this period of life brother
Medicated telephone senate
  07/12/25
...
Talented rigor turdskin
  07/13/25
...
Primrose blood rage jew
  07/13/25
Registered for xo
Light Appetizing Spot Becky
  07/11/25
falling off a balcony while hanging with gunner
cheese-eating smoky jewess
  07/11/25
Wasnt it a roof?
magical startled death wish
  07/11/25
to be pedantic, it was a balcony hanging over another roof
cheese-eating smoky jewess
  07/11/25
It is important to be as accurate as possible when regaling ...
magical startled death wish
  07/11/25
Draw this
Soggy Theater
  07/11/25
https://i.imgur.com/ncKHJBP.png i was waiting outside of ...
sticky hilarious stag film
  07/11/25
this image is of a man falling backwards into a chickenwire ...
Soggy Theater
  07/11/25
https://ibb.co/607Mnjzv
cheese-eating smoky jewess
  07/11/25
hfs 180^180^1800000!!!!!!
sticky hilarious stag film
  07/11/25
180. Gunner is pretty handsome for an Indian
Soggy Theater
  07/11/25
i'm a lucky man, no homo
cheese-eating smoky jewess
  07/11/25
Rank the top 5 stories itt
Soggy Theater
  07/11/25
scholarship's story is #1 by far, who cares about the rest
jet business firm idea he suggested
  07/11/25
muscadine wine slicing his arms open like a tin can to demon...
Soggy Theater
  07/12/25
...
cheese-eating smoky jewess
  07/12/25
...
Primrose blood rage jew
  07/13/25
Do t you already have concussion/Brain issues
Marvelous Genital Piercing Shrine
  07/13/25
caused/exacerbated by shit like this, which was years ago an...
sticky hilarious stag film
  07/15/25
I really like it here.
Transparent aromatic station
  07/13/25
because of my Scumbag upbringing this didn't register to me ...
sticky hilarious stag film
  07/11/25
...
cheese-eating smoky jewess
  07/11/25
...
magical startled death wish
  07/11/25
...
Talented rigor turdskin
  07/13/25
...
aphrodisiac bespoke piazza goal in life
  07/14/25
Is that what put you in the hospital/off xo for a long time?...
Exciting Therapy
  07/11/25
ah, sorry to hear that, man. i was already having seizures ...
cheese-eating smoky jewess
  07/11/25
DV and i got locked up for 3 days
hairraiser orange hell patrolman
  07/11/25
Reconciled and hooked up with an ex who later tried to kill ...
passionate national security agency windowlicker
  07/11/25
went to couples therapy. we, uh, had to end the session earl...
sticky hilarious stag film
  07/11/25
much many more details to do the needful
Soggy Theater
  07/11/25
we were having a fight before we were heading off to therapy...
sticky hilarious stag film
  07/11/25
Mmhm Probably hard to pull off the cool fratty drunk guy at...
Soggy Theater
  07/11/25
i'm very gregarious and convincing. doesn't really work with...
sticky hilarious stag film
  07/11/25
Yes it's literally why your wife brought you there
Soggy Theater
  07/11/25
you fags are oracles when it comes to male/female dynamics a...
sticky hilarious stag film
  07/11/25
Doing couples therapy with someone you aren’t at least...
Exciting Therapy
  07/11/25
this was with my exwife!
sticky hilarious stag film
  07/11/25
I didnt know you were a divorcee
Exciting Therapy
  07/11/25
still am too
sticky hilarious stag film
  07/11/25
Many layers to this fag’s loserdom
boyish indian lodge mood
  07/11/25
here's another crazy story about my ex-wife: she never cucke...
sticky hilarious stag film
  07/11/25
“I’m a huge simp” great poast, champ
boyish indian lodge mood
  07/11/25
how are you even real? can't wait to see how this crash out ...
sticky hilarious stag film
  07/11/25
You’re too in your 40s to talk like that
boyish indian lodge mood
  07/11/25
and you're a bit too old for "mom please dont take my c...
sticky hilarious stag film
  07/11/25
other things: 1. threw a full can of beer into a crowd of...
hairraiser orange hell patrolman
  07/11/25
i feel like you would win this thread, not that it's a compe...
sexy property
  07/11/25
i am sure i have other wild shit. for overall zany things yo...
hairraiser orange hell patrolman
  07/11/25
...
sexy property
  07/11/25
one time i blacked out on a date. it was really going well i...
sticky hilarious stag film
  07/11/25
180. Louis cannon type story
hairraiser orange hell patrolman
  07/11/25
Lmao
Talented rigor turdskin
  07/13/25
your stories are 180 when you consider that you have been ou...
Soggy Theater
  07/11/25
wild stuff, man.
hairraiser orange hell patrolman
  07/11/25
another one was i blacked out at my friend's house back in 0...
hairraiser orange hell patrolman
  07/11/25
oh shit, i forgot this one. in december 2017, i was about to...
hairraiser orange hell patrolman
  07/11/25
we should party sometime
chocolate laser beams
  07/12/25
i'm sober now but i'll RAGE with you anyway.
hairraiser orange hell patrolman
  07/13/25
accidentally used the diesel can instead of the kerosene can...
bat shit crazy azure candlestick maker
  07/11/25
Came back home after drinking at the bar and fell asleep spo...
histrionic cocky box office old irish cottage
  07/11/25
wait, you're telling me you have a black wife AND you had a ...
hairraiser orange hell patrolman
  07/11/25
Yeah but now I have a yellow lab to even things out.
histrionic cocky box office old irish cottage
  07/11/25
You have a black wife and yellow lab? You got those two mixe...
magical startled death wish
  07/11/25
OFS
histrionic cocky box office old irish cottage
  07/11/25
...
Mildly Autistic Disrespectful Native
  07/11/25
now you need a yellow mistress
bull headed wonderful boiling water people who are hurt
  07/11/25
I was a knife salesman for Cutco knives and showed up to a s...
Nubile ratface trailer park
  07/11/25
180000000000
Soggy Theater
  07/11/25
...
magical startled death wish
  07/11/25
lol
histrionic cocky box office old irish cottage
  07/11/25
...
Pea-brained Pale Menage
  07/11/25
...
sticky hilarious stag film
  07/11/25
lmao
out-of-control excitant chapel coldplay fan
  07/11/25
...
fuchsia sex offender
  07/11/25
"Go and do likewise, gents."
Ivory irate abode
  07/11/25
...
sticky hilarious stag film
  07/11/25
...
wine ticket booth
  07/11/25
...
out-of-control excitant chapel coldplay fan
  07/11/25
...
stimulating love of her life
  07/11/25
...
Talented rigor turdskin
  07/13/25
...
Garnet heady crackhouse
  07/14/25
...
hairraiser orange hell patrolman
  07/11/25
...
wine ticket booth
  07/11/25
this would make a great scene in a movie
Ultramarine well-lubricated step-uncle's house
  07/13/25
...
indecent buff resort
  07/13/25
...
Primrose blood rage jew
  07/13/25
...
aphrodisiac bespoke piazza goal in life
  07/14/25
180
chocolate laser beams
  07/14/25
...
Insanely creepy vigorous water buffalo
  07/14/25
This thread delivered. My story involves getting extremely ...
out-of-control excitant chapel coldplay fan
  07/11/25
One time I passed out in a Subway parking lot. The cops foun...
Yellow Doctorate Deer Antler
  07/11/25
fucked up my favorite jeans and a pair of shoes i really lik...
Buck-toothed theatre
  07/11/25
I severely fucked up my Speedmaster drunkenly falling up con...
citrine cerebral wagecucks liquid oxygen
  07/13/25
sex with men for money
electric incel forum
  07/11/25
How much did you pay
Soggy Theater
  07/11/25
cant remember, was drunk
electric incel forum
  07/11/25
...
Frisky bbw
  07/11/25
...
fuchsia sex offender
  07/11/25
Hit on my SIL
lavender stead
  07/11/25
can you provide details
bat shit crazy azure candlestick maker
  07/11/25
I outran the cops going about 115 mph one night, although I ...
arousing temple
  07/11/25
180, did that scare you sober for a while?
hairraiser orange hell patrolman
  07/11/25
not that I recall
arousing temple
  07/11/25
180
sticky hilarious stag film
  07/12/25
...
hairraiser orange hell patrolman
  07/12/25
...
brass background story
  07/14/25
I got into a fight with a Canadian goose. I lost; badly.
bateful turquoise den
  07/12/25
vicious animals
sexy property
  07/12/25
I lost part of my scalp.
bateful turquoise den
  07/12/25
nasty motherfuckers
chocolate laser beams
  07/14/25
Apply and then get accepted to law school
Carmine lascivious center twinkling uncleanness
  07/12/25
Lol
bateful turquoise den
  07/12/25
Major crimes unit
beady-eyed new version partner
  07/12/25
...
Stirring embarrassed to the bone azn university
  07/14/25
I was at a sushi bar alone and started doing sake shots with...
swashbuckling gaming laptop
  07/13/25
In my early 20s, I was working in a chain pharmacy and a co-...
histrionic cocky box office old irish cottage
  07/13/25
...
Exhilarant honey-headed marketing idea point
  07/13/25
...
sticky hilarious stag film
  07/14/25
...
fuchsia sex offender
  07/14/25
felt something
Stirring embarrassed to the bone azn university
  07/13/25
...
Afghan HDI charts
  07/28/25
OP is a broke ass gay faggot with literal AIDSs in his 60s.
Hateful macaca chad
  07/13/25
drive drunk hundreds of times, sometimes having to cover one...
Talented rigor turdskin
  07/13/25
Fell for Mossad honeypot operation and fucked a teen on hidd...
Sable rehab
  07/13/25
...
boyish indian lodge mood
  07/14/25
...
out-of-control excitant chapel coldplay fan
  07/15/25
went to see hotel for dogs in the movie theater
hairraiser orange hell patrolman
  07/14/25
Legal work
useless son of senegal mediation
  07/14/25
Have never done anything dumb
boyish indian lodge mood
  07/14/25
Was bowling and my friend was poking me so I “accident...
aphrodisiac bespoke piazza goal in life
  07/14/25
...
brass background story
  07/14/25
Hilarious for everyone involved!
histrionic cocky box office old irish cottage
  07/14/25
Not committed suicide
Concupiscible disgusting hospital gaping
  07/14/25
Haha ohhhhhh kayyyyy Pushed over a motorcycle Egged a...
violent national scourge upon the earth
  07/14/25
when I went out and had an incredible date with the most per...
Aquamarine Institution
  07/15/25
...
jet business firm idea he suggested
  07/15/25
literally talking about our future together, how similar we ...
Soggy Theater
  07/15/25
...
sticky hilarious stag film
  07/15/25
Went to a gun range.
razzle-dazzle fluffy nowag
  07/15/25
ZhengongFu | Wholesale Zhen gongFu - Buy Zhengong Fu
poerkan
  07/28/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 9:52 AM
Author: Soggy Theater

I think i get a 180 for this, or wasnt driving or texting an ex or whatever. I went to the optometrist

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092663)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 9:53 AM
Author: magical startled death wish

trying to navigate the real world while drunk can actually be really fun. lol @ going to the optometrist though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092664)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:01 AM
Author: Soggy Theater

It was really funny because he was getting really pissed off. I remember him snapping at me "Hey hey HEY both eyes" while I was desperately squinting through my dominant eye

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092678)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:32 AM
Author: magical startled death wish

180 ^ 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092755)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:32 AM
Author: sticky hilarious stag film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092880)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:29 PM
Author: Sable rehab

The first and only time I drove drunk I was 19 and at a house party and got blitzed and just felt like going home to lay down. I know I shouldn’t have drove but I did I was like “wow, I can’t believe how easy this is.”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093122)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:46 PM
Author: wine ticket booth

I was also 19 but I got home and fell asleep in the back yard (parents' house). I think they came out and made fun of me

the only reason I didn't die is because no one else was on the road. it legitimately "scared me straight" from drunk driving which you would think is flame, but I still think on it and shudder.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093433)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:05 AM
Author: Yellow Doctorate Deer Antler

Got in a fight with my wife and drove to my office intending on spending the night there and then came back.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092688)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:21 AM
Author: Soggy Theater

Lol this is cr. When you're about to move out and by the time you find your keys you can't remember why

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092725)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:29 AM
Author: magical startled death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092745)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2025 12:58 PM
Author: razzle-dazzle fluffy nowag

I once went for drinks after work in the office and came back and fell asleep on some "partner's" couch. Luckily I woke up and went home around 1 AM or so

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49103197)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:14 AM
Author: provocative persian jap

Hit on various women who rejected me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092707)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2025 9:00 PM
Author: chocolate laser beams



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49096703)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2025 9:00 PM
Author: chocolate laser beams

My worst was a hotel front desk clerk.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49096705)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2025 5:47 PM
Author: floppy frum locale

did you drunkenly assume he likes fat guys?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49098413)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2025 11:46 AM
Author: provocative persian jap

I have done this so many times it's hard to find a worst, but I haven't drunk enough to be drunk in >50 years. When I was a young lawlyer I threw up on the managing partner's wife's shoes at a firm picnic. They thought I was drunk, but it was in fact food poisoning. Had to go to the ER.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49100131)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:30 AM
Author: magical startled death wish

Ive done a lot of fairly stupid shit while drunk, but one that stands out in my mind is the night i jumped over the deck fence of the bar i was at because i couldn't find the exit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092749)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:35 AM
Author: magical startled death wish

I also once climbed out my bedroom window to avoid inviting an annoying friend out with me

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092763)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:37 AM
Author: sexy property

let a random guy on the street make a phone call with my cell phone. fell asleep with a pot of water boiling on the stove

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092769)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:39 AM
Author: brass background story

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092772)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:43 AM
Author: Soggy Theater

how did the random guy turn the stove on

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092906)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:53 AM
Author: sexy property

lol separate events! but i do appreciate the innuendo

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092941)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:38 AM
Author: Spectacular adulterous antidepressant drug state

go to law school.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092770)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:38 AM
Author: magical startled death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092771)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:49 PM
Author: out-of-control excitant chapel coldplay fan



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093440)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:42 AM
Author: bull headed wonderful boiling water people who are hurt

blacked out while driving, twice. made it home fine but holy shit that was dumb. both times involved a major interstate highway.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092777)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:46 AM
Author: magical startled death wish

Incredible poast/moniker synergy

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092784)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:20 PM
Author: Twinkling contagious roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093059)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:49 PM
Author: out-of-control excitant chapel coldplay fan



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093441)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:42 AM
Author: magical startled death wish

Hooked up with guy, puked in his bathroom, used towel to clean it up and turned out it was his roommates towel. Whoops!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092780)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2025 4:26 PM
Author: Racy Sanctuary Elastic Band

I love how the focal point of this short vignette is that it was *somebody else's* towel as if everything else is just noise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49103799)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:44 AM
Author: Pea-brained Pale Menage

A law professor waved at me while passing me in the hallway and for some reason I thought he was going in for a high five so I swung at him wildly with my open hand trying to make contact and he ducked out of the way like I was trying to hit him. I was so bewildered by the whole interaction that I didn’t even say anything and just scurried off

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092781)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:44 AM
Author: magical startled death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092782)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:50 AM
Author: jet business firm idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092791)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:53 AM
Author: Soggy Theater

Soo cr

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092796)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:18 AM
Author: hairraiser orange hell patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092849)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:22 AM
Author: Yellow Doctorate Deer Antler

Pumpkin beers.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092862)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:34 AM
Author: sticky hilarious stag film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092883)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:23 PM
Author: Twinkling contagious roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093077)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:47 PM
Author: wine ticket booth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093435)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:49 PM
Author: out-of-control excitant chapel coldplay fan



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093442)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 2:18 PM
Author: zombie-like cumskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093542)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2025 12:35 AM
Author: indecent buff resort

lmfao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49097029)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2025 7:49 AM
Author: Talented rigor turdskin

why were you drunk at school?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49097258)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2025 2:28 PM
Author: Soggy Theater

??

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49103497)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2025 11:27 AM
Author: chocolate laser beams



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49100063)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2025 11:43 AM
Author: Sable rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49100109)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2025 1:17 PM
Author: Aquamarine Institution



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49100361)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2025 4:00 PM
Author: Charismatic potus hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49100837)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:47 AM
Author: ruby address

Snuck out of my parents' house and walked with some friends to a girl's house in a nearby neighborhood all while leaving a trail of empty beer cans for the police to follow and then arrest us.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092789)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:48 AM
Author: magical startled death wish

Given that you now white knight for angel reese, id say your decision making skills havent improved

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092790)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:55 AM
Author: ruby address

i can't imagine hating on angel reese. if you watched her at all in college you know she is a great team player and has the ability to impact every play in various ways. in her second year she's leading the league in rebounds by a massive margin and has improved her offensive game and efficiency immensely.

I genuinely don't understand the hate she receives.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092800)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:22 AM
Author: Soggy Theater

She's so cool and I love her eyelashes so you know she's a female

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092859)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 3:23 PM
Author: ruby address

you're a cool female!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093742)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:53 AM
Author: rebellious messiness

i moved to MFH and had absolutely no friends. Not even acquaintances. I used to get very drunk in those days. Sometimes a week would pass without someone talking to me, apart from a cashier.

I took to walking around with an open bottle and listening for parties, in the walk-up buildings around the EV and LES.

Id often go up and play the "Jessica invited me" (or Yessica if it was more puerto rican looking).

Sometimes this lead to me having to say "What? There's no Jessica?? I must have the wrong address, Im so sorry!"

There was an ocassional them saying, "Hey Jessica, you know this guy?"

More often, it was "hahah hey whatever dude, make yourself at home".

Only a few "Mike, I think this guy is fucking lying, he's probably came in to steal shit, hey guys c'mere, we have a fucking thief here"



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092797)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:01 AM
Author: thriller tripping nursing home

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092820)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2025 11:44 PM
Author: Medicated telephone senate

180 need more stories from this period of life brother

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49096986)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2025 7:48 AM
Author: Talented rigor turdskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49097257)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2025 7:14 AM
Author: Primrose blood rage jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49097221)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 10:56 AM
Author: Light Appetizing Spot Becky

Registered for xo

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092803)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:16 AM
Author: cheese-eating smoky jewess

falling off a balcony while hanging with gunner

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092838)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:16 AM
Author: magical startled death wish

Wasnt it a roof?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092840)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:18 AM
Author: cheese-eating smoky jewess

to be pedantic, it was a balcony hanging over another roof

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092846)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:19 AM
Author: magical startled death wish

It is important to be as accurate as possible when regaling friends with tales of drunkenness

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092852)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:21 AM
Author: Soggy Theater

Draw this

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092857)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:10 PM
Author: sticky hilarious stag film

https://i.imgur.com/ncKHJBP.png

i was waiting outside of lex's apartment in my car to pick him up, which was on the second story over a store. behind the apartment was a parking lot. for reasons that remain unclear to me lex liked to leave through the balcony and climb down the fire escape. while waiting in the car way too long he eventually scuffled up to the passenger door, disheveled, with a few cuts. the conversation went something like this:

lex: sorry, i just fell off my balcony.

gunner: what lol are you ok?

lex: yeah i'm fine.

gunner: lol ok let's go get a drink.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093002)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:15 PM
Author: Soggy Theater

this image is of a man falling backwards into a chickenwire covered alien driven skateboard with ketchup rims

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093029)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:01 PM
Author: cheese-eating smoky jewess

https://ibb.co/607Mnjzv

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093269)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:03 PM
Author: sticky hilarious stag film

hfs 180^180^1800000!!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093277)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:05 PM
Author: Soggy Theater

180.

Gunner is pretty handsome for an Indian

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093287)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:26 PM
Author: cheese-eating smoky jewess

i'm a lucky man, no homo

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093350)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:29 PM
Author: Soggy Theater

Rank the top 5 stories itt

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093354)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 9:40 PM
Author: jet business firm idea he suggested

scholarship's story is #1 by far, who cares about the rest

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49094816)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2025 8:58 AM
Author: Soggy Theater

muscadine wine slicing his arms open like a tin can to demonstrate knife quality was an exception addition

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49095392)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2025 8:58 PM
Author: cheese-eating smoky jewess



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49096698)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2025 7:15 AM
Author: Primrose blood rage jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49097222)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2025 7:35 AM
Author: Marvelous Genital Piercing Shrine

Do t you already have concussion/Brain issues

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49097246)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2025 3:58 PM
Author: sticky hilarious stag film

caused/exacerbated by shit like this, which was years ago and before lex got sober

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49103713)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2025 2:11 PM
Author: Transparent aromatic station

I really like it here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49097953)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:37 AM
Author: sticky hilarious stag film

because of my Scumbag upbringing this didn't register to me as a concerning incident

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092892)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:46 AM
Author: cheese-eating smoky jewess



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092913)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:40 PM
Author: magical startled death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093193)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2025 8:07 AM
Author: Talented rigor turdskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49097277)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2025 10:06 AM
Author: aphrodisiac bespoke piazza goal in life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49099906)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:43 AM
Author: Exciting Therapy

Is that what put you in the hospital/off xo for a long time?

This happened to a friend of mine but he didn’t maek it :(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092908)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:47 AM
Author: cheese-eating smoky jewess

ah, sorry to hear that, man.

i was already having seizures and had heavy brain bleeding, but this couldn't have helped

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092918)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:17 AM
Author: hairraiser orange hell patrolman

DV and i got locked up for 3 days

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092843)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:29 AM
Author: passionate national security agency windowlicker

Reconciled and hooked up with an ex who later tried to kill me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092875)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:33 AM
Author: sticky hilarious stag film

went to couples therapy. we, uh, had to end the session early.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092882)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:41 AM
Author: Soggy Theater

much many more details to do the needful

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092901)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:52 AM
Author: sticky hilarious stag film

we were having a fight before we were heading off to therapy. before i get in the car i drank a bunch of whiskey at once. maybe half a bottle or more. so, i didn't really start getting drunk until the session started. everyone was confused because i was fine a minute ago and i made some excuses like "idk what's wrong i'm just not feeling well." therapist decided to end the session because i was "groggy", and i drove home with my ex. at the next session the therapist was pissed and scolded me for driving. i continued to say that i was fine and just got woozy or something randomly. she give me this scowl and after that she seemed really against me in sessions. before that it felt like she was on my side more often than not. i think she dealt with a lot of drunks and could recognize i was trashed more than most people could, because i can usually keep it together really well.

i think the marriage lasted another couple months after that!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092937)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:23 PM
Author: Soggy Theater

Mmhm

Probably hard to pull off the cool fratty drunk guy at couples therapy.

I rate this as number 2 stupid after me getting prescription lenses while being drunk

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093075)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:29 PM
Author: sticky hilarious stag film

i'm very gregarious and convincing. doesn't really work with someone trained on drunks i guess.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093123)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:34 PM
Author: Soggy Theater

Yes it's literally why your wife brought you there

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093158)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:06 PM
Author: sticky hilarious stag film

you fags are oracles when it comes to male/female dynamics and i think you're probably right that she needed someone i couldn't just charm into being on my side.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093292)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:42 AM
Author: Exciting Therapy

Doing couples therapy with someone you aren’t at least engaged to is… idk what but it’s bad

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092903)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:44 AM
Author: sticky hilarious stag film

this was with my exwife!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092910)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:47 AM
Author: Exciting Therapy

I didnt know you were a divorcee

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092917)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:12 PM
Author: sticky hilarious stag film

still am too

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093015)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:16 PM
Author: boyish indian lodge mood

Many layers to this fag’s loserdom

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093038)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:19 PM
Author: sticky hilarious stag film

here's another crazy story about my ex-wife: she never cucked me with other men, emasculated me by sharing embarrassing details about me publicly, or tried to damage my life in any way. we also remained friends for many years after and i never once desperately ran back to her because i couldn't get laid any other way.

haha crazy right?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093053)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:26 PM
Author: boyish indian lodge mood

“I’m a huge simp”

great poast, champ

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093106)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:28 PM
Author: sticky hilarious stag film

how are you even real? can't wait to see how this crash out ends.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093116)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:31 PM
Author: boyish indian lodge mood

You’re too in your 40s to talk like that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093135)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:35 PM
Author: sticky hilarious stag film

and you're a bit too old for "mom please dont take my computer, i promise ill look for a job after i pwn these kikes on autoadmit!"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093166)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:52 AM
Author: hairraiser orange hell patrolman

other things:

1. threw a full can of beer into a crowd of people at a club called Sonar in baltimore. got jumped and absolutely fucked up, face was all bruised, like my entire face was a black eye. a friend of mine hit one of the guys who did it in the face with a cinderblock outside the club. had to go to classes as a 3L and to my job at the national archives' gc office with a fucked up face for 2 weeks. i said it was a basketball injury lol.

2. blacked out and got thrown out of an uber in chicago at like 2 am. woke up in an elevator in a parking garage at 5. found my way back to my hotel, had to be at a biz dev presentation at 9 am. someone had to cover for me.

3. got in multiple fights with that stripper i was fooling around with as we spent a week traveling from hotel to hotel in LA/SD. was blackout drunk almost the whole time.

there are others, but these are top of mind.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092939)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:55 AM
Author: sexy property

i feel like you would win this thread, not that it's a competition. you didn't even hit on anything that involves waking up next to a transsexual prostitute

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092950)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:15 PM
Author: hairraiser orange hell patrolman

i am sure i have other wild shit. for overall zany things you've done on booze and drugs, i bet i would win. i was an absolute mess for a few years.

showed up to labor negotiations still high on coke once. another time i was bargaining with a unit of nurses and the union rep asked me if i needed medical attention. i was on a 2 day bender, coming down off coke and was basically green.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093034)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:31 PM
Author: sexy property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093136)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:59 AM
Author: sticky hilarious stag film

one time i blacked out on a date. it was really going well i thought. i had a few too many and suddenly she excused herself but not before making sure i called an uber. i don't remember anything after that except coming to outside in the city in the middle of winter. i've never been so cold in my life. i went to an emergency room to warm up. i called another uber and got in, then blacked out again. woke up in bed with no phone or car, not remembering anything that happened after the date except for being freezing in the city for a moment.

had to call my mom to go get my car. then i had to use my cell phone tracking app to find my phone, which was in the second uber in the driver's apartment complex. i found the car and could see my phone in the back seat. i sent a message to uber about it but i guess the driver wasn't available. i went around the apartment complex asking whose car it was. after trying every door i gave up and left a note on the windshield.

the driver called me that night and she gave me my phone. i remember it was on valentine's day and she met me in a red lobster parking lot where she was getting dinner with her husband.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49092964)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 9:39 PM
Author: hairraiser orange hell patrolman

180. Louis cannon type story

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49094815)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2025 3:33 PM
Author: Talented rigor turdskin

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49098106)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:16 PM
Author: Soggy Theater

your stories are 180 when you consider that you have been outed and you must be the biggest pencil neck dweeb on earth. its nearly impossible to imagine that guy getting into any of these antics

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093039)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:19 PM
Author: hairraiser orange hell patrolman

wild stuff, man.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093056)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:25 PM
Author: hairraiser orange hell patrolman

another one was i blacked out at my friend's house back in 05 and tried to drive home. for some reason i drove to my childhood home's neighborhood. woke up at 7 am with the car running in front of a cop's house, but luckily the cop had recently been killed in the line of duty.

oh, this is a good one. in 2012 i ate a bunch of ambien and drank a 6 pack. then drove to the liquor store to get more beer and was changing out CDs in my car and crashed into a truck. i fled and went home and texted my wife (she was out) "woah someone just hit my car and took off lol" but about 10 mins later the cops came to my house. i remember them being in my condo and one of them laughing at me that i'd have to report this to the bar, etc. another cop was like "hey genius, you know your VIN was on the panel of your car that you left at the scene, don't you?"

i was 100% out of it and hallucinating. they didn't charge me with DUI bc i was no longer at the scene, but they told me they knew i was drunk.

i wound up making up a story about taking the med as prescribed and sleep driving. i got off.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093100)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:31 PM
Author: hairraiser orange hell patrolman

oh shit, i forgot this one. in december 2017, i was about to be promoted to partner at baker hostetler. the guy who put me up had a end of year get together at the Palm in DC (he is one of the caricatures on the wall). there were like 15 people there. i got absolutely wrecked on martinis. i was obviously drunk in front of him but thankfully he left. the restaurant ultimately asked me to leave and i lost my phone and a coworker had to order me an uber.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093132)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2025 11:27 PM
Author: chocolate laser beams

we should party sometime

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49096948)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2025 3:03 PM
Author: hairraiser orange hell patrolman

i'm sober now but i'll RAGE with you anyway.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49098056)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:21 PM
Author: bat shit crazy azure candlestick maker

accidentally used the diesel can instead of the kerosene can (for a kerosene heater), woke up in blackface, entire cabin coated with soot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093064)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:30 PM
Author: histrionic cocky box office old irish cottage

Came back home after drinking at the bar and fell asleep spooning by black lab who was 15 years old and I knew she was going to die soon. My lab didn’t like to be cuddled so she probably got up and hobbled away as soon as I passed out.

The dog bed was right in front of my security door. I kept the front door open because it was summer and no A/C.

I awoke to my next door neighbor, a black nurse, coming home from her night shift. I hear, “Oh, chimata! What are you doing?”

It was pretty embarrassing.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093126)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:32 PM
Author: hairraiser orange hell patrolman

wait, you're telling me you have a black wife AND you had a black lab?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093139)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:40 PM
Author: histrionic cocky box office old irish cottage

Yeah but now I have a yellow lab to even things out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093191)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 12:41 PM
Author: magical startled death wish

You have a black wife and yellow lab? You got those two mixed up, friend

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093202)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:36 PM
Author: histrionic cocky box office old irish cottage

OFS

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093383)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 2:56 PM
Author: Mildly Autistic Disrespectful Native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093641)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:02 PM
Author: bull headed wonderful boiling water people who are hurt

now you need a yellow mistress

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093273)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:04 PM
Author: Nubile ratface trailer park

I was a knife salesman for Cutco knives and showed up to a sales appointment drunk and proceeded to cut myself in multiple spots during the demonstration, and got the blood all over my white shirt. The people were terrified and bought a bunch of knives just to get rid of me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093283)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:06 PM
Author: Soggy Theater

180000000000

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093288)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:32 PM
Author: magical startled death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093367)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:35 PM
Author: histrionic cocky box office old irish cottage

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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093382)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:43 PM
Author: Pea-brained Pale Menage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093417)



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Date: July 11th, 2025 1:44 PM
Author: sticky hilarious stag film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093421)



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Date: July 11th, 2025 1:50 PM
Author: out-of-control excitant chapel coldplay fan

lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093446)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:50 PM
Author: fuchsia sex offender



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093447)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:51 PM
Author: Ivory irate abode

"Go and do likewise, gents."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093450)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 2:00 PM
Author: sticky hilarious stag film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093486)



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Date: July 11th, 2025 2:34 PM
Author: wine ticket booth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093577)



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Date: July 11th, 2025 2:40 PM
Author: out-of-control excitant chapel coldplay fan



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093586)



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Date: July 11th, 2025 9:42 PM
Author: stimulating love of her life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49094818)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2025 8:08 AM
Author: Talented rigor turdskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49097278)



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Date: July 14th, 2025 11:40 AM
Author: Garnet heady crackhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49100090)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:51 PM
Author: hairraiser orange hell patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093452)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 2:02 PM
Author: wine ticket booth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093497)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2025 12:03 AM
Author: Ultramarine well-lubricated step-uncle's house

this would make a great scene in a movie

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49097013)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2025 12:45 AM
Author: indecent buff resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49097041)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2025 7:18 AM
Author: Primrose blood rage jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49097226)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2025 10:10 AM
Author: aphrodisiac bespoke piazza goal in life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49099912)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2025 11:27 AM
Author: chocolate laser beams

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49100060)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2025 5:37 PM
Author: Insanely creepy vigorous water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49101150)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:53 PM
Author: out-of-control excitant chapel coldplay fan

This thread delivered. My story involves getting extremely drunk at a summer associate event. Being extremely drunk I figured I shouldn't get a cab but should "walk it off" on my way home. For some reason I either drunk dialed my parents or they called me and I stupidly picked up and vaguely got in some huge fight with them, the details or even high level of which I had no clue about the next day. I finally staggered home and my dog and wife were both disgusted.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093458)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:59 PM
Author: Yellow Doctorate Deer Antler

One time I passed out in a Subway parking lot. The cops found me and went through my phone to find someone to take me. They called my grandma, luckily she was asleep since it was late. They went down the list and found a friend to come get me. Glad I didn't get run over.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49095073)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 1:59 PM
Author: Buck-toothed theatre

fucked up my favorite jeans and a pair of shoes i really liked because I fell into a retention pond in Orlando while taking a shortcut to a gas station to buy more beer after I went out for the night on a work trip and wanted to keep drinking. by some miracle I actually brought a second pair of shoes because the next day I flew directly to Washington DC to attend the 2016 inauguration of Donald Trump.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093482)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2025 4:44 AM
Author: citrine cerebral wagecucks liquid oxygen

I severely fucked up my Speedmaster drunkenly falling up concrete stairs leading to a Jimmy John’s.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49097176)



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Date: July 11th, 2025 2:00 PM
Author: electric incel forum

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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093487)



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Date: July 11th, 2025 2:07 PM
Author: Soggy Theater

How much did you pay

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093508)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 2:59 PM
Author: electric incel forum

cant remember, was drunk

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093648)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 5:49 PM
Author: Frisky bbw



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49094209)



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Date: July 11th, 2025 2:16 PM
Author: fuchsia sex offender



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093538)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 3:24 PM
Author: lavender stead

Hit on my SIL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093746)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 3:53 PM
Author: bat shit crazy azure candlestick maker

can you provide details

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49093813)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 9:42 PM
Author: arousing temple

I outran the cops going about 115 mph one night, although I was drunk and high so you can't just blame the booze, but it saved me in its own way

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49094819)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:00 PM
Author: hairraiser orange hell patrolman

180, did that scare you sober for a while?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49094957)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 11th, 2025 11:01 PM
Author: arousing temple

not that I recall

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49094959)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2025 9:13 AM
Author: sticky hilarious stag film

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49095406)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2025 9:29 PM
Author: hairraiser orange hell patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49096758)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2025 3:00 PM
Author: brass background story



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49100657)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2025 12:52 AM
Author: bateful turquoise den

I got into a fight with a Canadian goose. I lost; badly.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49095144)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2025 8:59 PM
Author: sexy property

vicious animals

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49096701)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2025 11:35 PM
Author: bateful turquoise den

I lost part of my scalp.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49096970)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2025 11:29 AM
Author: chocolate laser beams

nasty motherfuckers

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49100066)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2025 1:14 AM
Author: Carmine lascivious center twinkling uncleanness

Apply and then get accepted to law school

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49095157)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2025 11:36 PM
Author: bateful turquoise den

Lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49096971)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2025 11:36 PM
Author: beady-eyed new version partner

Major crimes unit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49096973)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2025 10:27 PM
Author: Stirring embarrassed to the bone azn university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49101872)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2025 1:20 AM
Author: swashbuckling gaming laptop

I was at a sushi bar alone and started doing sake shots with the wait staff after they closed. For some reason we started drinking tequila and I blacked out. They somehow found my home and dropped me off at like 4am. No idea what happened in between

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49097065)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2025 2:27 AM
Author: histrionic cocky box office old irish cottage

In my early 20s, I was working in a chain pharmacy and a co-worker asked me to DJ her wedding. I had never DJ’d anything before. I had a CD player and two huge bass amps. I got drunk as shit during the wedding, slurring, trying to be funny on the microphone, getting blank stares. I didn’t play any typical wedding songs. Didn’t have any in my collection. I had classic rock. Basically played my favorite songs all night to a bunch of people I didn’t know, getting drunk for free.

There was this cringey moment where I thought I was being smooth by introducing a song with some commentary about the band. You don’t know what band it is I’m talking about because that is supposed to be suspenseful and the big reveal came as I hit play: “We Can Work It Out” by the Beatles.

I was so drunk the new husband drove my truck to his house and let me sleep in my truck on the street. It was a Chevy S-10 and he thought he was pressing the emergency brake with his foot but he stepped on the vent lever, crushing it.

I think she paid me $100 and don’t think we ever talked about it afterwards.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49097108)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2025 8:21 AM
Author: Exhilarant honey-headed marketing idea point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49097298)



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Date: July 14th, 2025 11:44 AM
Author: sticky hilarious stag film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49100119)



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Date: July 14th, 2025 11:49 AM
Author: fuchsia sex offender



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49100149)



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Date: July 13th, 2025 4:21 AM
Author: Stirring embarrassed to the bone azn university

felt something

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49097173)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2025 8:00 PM
Author: Afghan HDI charts



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49138695)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2025 7:09 AM
Author: Hateful macaca chad

OP is a broke ass gay faggot with literal AIDSs in his 60s.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49097217)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2025 8:11 AM
Author: Talented rigor turdskin

drive drunk hundreds of times, sometimes having to cover one eye

was groping with the boss’ daughter in the corner of the bar (there were pics)

numerous fights that could have ended badly

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49097283)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2025 1:38 PM
Author: Sable rehab

Fell for Mossad honeypot operation and fucked a teen on hidden camera

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49097879)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2025 10:22 AM
Author: boyish indian lodge mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49099929)



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Date: July 15th, 2025 1:29 PM
Author: out-of-control excitant chapel coldplay fan



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49103335)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2025 10:03 AM
Author: hairraiser orange hell patrolman

went to see hotel for dogs in the movie theater

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49099900)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2025 10:04 AM
Author: useless son of senegal mediation

Legal work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49099901)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2025 11:39 AM
Author: boyish indian lodge mood

Have never done anything dumb

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49100088)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2025 1:11 PM
Author: aphrodisiac bespoke piazza goal in life

Was bowling and my friend was poking me so I “accidentally” threw my bowling ball at her backwards. It bounced and shattered the beer mug her boyfriend was holding severing an artery and sending him to the ER.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49100350)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2025 3:02 PM
Author: brass background story



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49100660)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2025 3:57 PM
Author: histrionic cocky box office old irish cottage

Hilarious for everyone involved!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49100823)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2025 10:27 PM
Author: Concupiscible disgusting hospital gaping

Not committed suicide

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49101873)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2025 10:32 PM
Author: violent national scourge upon the earth

Haha ohhhhhh kayyyyy

Pushed over a motorcycle

Egged a dudes car

Hit on a friends GF

Fucked a few chonkers

Bough box set of Tales from the crypt (turned out kind of 180)

Drove a LOT including in my ‘94 junker with a busted headlight

Top of mind



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49101880)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2025 11:59 AM
Author: Aquamarine Institution

when I went out and had an incredible date with the most perfect and cool girl that I've ever gone out with (we were literally talking about our future together, how similar we were etc), went home drunk, saw some dude beating off from my condo patio looking into another unit, started laughing uncontrollably and tried to call her to tell her about it. She didn't answer so I sent some drunken text with no context that I just saw some guy beating off.

She took days to respond to my text and I completely ruined it.

I then went on a spree of hundreds of failed first dates and constant rejection and disappointment

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49103002)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2025 12:05 PM
Author: jet business firm idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49103014)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2025 2:30 PM
Author: Soggy Theater

literally talking about our future together, how similar we were tp

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49103504)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2025 3:55 PM
Author: sticky hilarious stag film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49103708)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2025 12:56 PM
Author: razzle-dazzle fluffy nowag

Went to a gun range.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49103190)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2025 7:58 PM
Author: poerkan (yx19272844@gmail.com)
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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5749078&forum_id=2Elisa#49138686)