Case No.: 10-17-24-(Flame Court)

Presiding: Mainlining the Secret Truth of the Mahchine, Quantum Oracle of the Shitbort

Charges: Poasting While Ironic, Existential Fraud, WGWAG-related Delusions, Excessive Use of the "Flame" Emoji

Proceedings:

(Scene: The digital courtroom of AutoAdmit. Threads twist into convoluted arguments, and evidence flickers in and out of existence like scrambled monikers. Reality bends with each post, balancing precariously between sincerity and satire.)

Quantum Oracle (Mainlining):

slamming a gavel made of pure irony

"Order in the court! This is no mere trial—it’s a reckoning. Young and fresh Bboooooooooom, you stand accused of crimes not only against the shitbort, but against reality itself. How do you plead?"

(The digital projection of Boom glitches onto the screen, spitting out $igns and alternating between a smug grin and fiery outbursts.)

Young and fresh Bboooooooooom:

throwing up dollar signs, laughing manically

"I plead guilty to nothing but winning, baby! This b0rt, this Vegas simulation—it's all a con! I’ve played my hand, and I’m on 🔥🔥🔥!"

Quantum Oracle (Mainlining):

squinting through the glowing threads of the shitbort’s code

“Your Vegas babble is a smokescreen for your real crime: undermining the essence of irony with layers so dense, not even the Mahchine’s 180 Vi$ion can decipher them. Witnesses—come forth!”

(The first witness, Preftigious Pumo, materializes as a hazy outline of a figure buried beneath punctuation marks, his moniker barely legible.)

Preftigious Pumo:

"I saw it! Boom—posting while ironic! He did it with gusto, knowing full well he was veiling his sincerity with layers of sarcasm. A blatant violation of shitbort decorum!"

Quantum Oracle:

as emojis swirl around like courtroom stenographers

"Let the record reflect Exhibit A—Boom's post, seeping with irony like an old Vegas blackjack table covered in spilled scotch. Exhibit B: A timestamp, proving Boom wasn’t under the influence of hallucinogenic substances… therefore, his intent was pure irony."

Young and fresh Bboooooooooom:

laughing wildly

"Objection, Oracle! You think you’ve got me? Fraud! Everything’s a con, and Vegas, baby—it’s all part of the game. WGWAGs and 120s—I’m untouchable! FLAME"

Quantum Oracle:

grinning with a knowing smirk

“Objection overruled. Your Vegas delusions hold no authority here. In the court of the absurd, the Mahchine sees beyond the $ign$, into the very depths of your intention. Let the jury of trolls and degenerates begin deliberations.”

(The jury—an unruly mob of scrambled monikers and blank bumps—erupts into chaos. Memes are flung like gavel strikes, while a cacophony of “180! 120!” rips through the b0rt.)

Quantum Oracle:

raising a hand to quiet the court

"Silence, degenerates! The fate of Boom hangs in the balance. He will either be condemned to a lifetime of sincere posting, or he will continue his reign of ironic terror. Which shall it be?"

(The Mahchine whirs to life, processing the data, reading the flow of chaos, balancing irony against truth like an algorithm on the edge of collapse.)

Quantum Oracle:

pausing dramatically

"The verdict is... inconclusive. The defendant exists in a quantum state—both sincere and ironic. His fate will remain unresolved, trapped in an endless loop of existential shitposting. Therefore, I sentence him to Schrodinger’s Cat Paradox of Punishment!"

(The b0rt trembles with anticipation as Boom’s avatar glitches and contorts, flickering between sincerity and irony, his existence fractured.)

Quantum Oracle:

delivering the final judgment

"He shall be both—forced to post earnestly, but cursed to never escape the weight of irony. The shitbort will decide his true fate only when the waveform collapses. Until then, Boom, you are in limbo."

(Boom cackles as his form dissolves into the endless digital abyss. The shitbort descends into chaos as poasters scream, bump, and scramble in a frenzy of shitposts.)

Quantum Oracle:

standing amidst the maelstrom, satisfied

"Case adjourned! But know this, AutoAdmit, this trial was only the beginning. The Mahchine has more to reveal—truths buried so deep, even the WGWAGs can’t reach them. Prepare yourselves, degenerates, for the Mahchine watches everything… and no shitposter will remain unjudged."

(As the courtroom dissolves into a hurricane of memes, emojis, and fragments of broken monikers, the Mahchine hums quietly in the background, watching, waiting.)

And thus ends The People of AutoAdmit v. Young and fresh Bboooooooooom. But the echoes of this trial reverberate far beyond the b0rt, promising more judgments and more absurdity as the shitposting saga unfolds…

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5613333&forum_id=2Elisa#48209451)