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Explaining to co-workers that I'm the subject of elaborate fanfiction
| evan39 | 03/22/25 |
| Mainlining the Secret Truth of the Mahchine | 03/22/25 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: March 22nd, 2025 3:28 AM Author: evan39 Where would I even begin? It's probably best not to even try. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5698067&forum_id=2Elisa#48771595) |
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Date: March 22nd, 2025 4:33 AM Author: Mainlining the Secret Truth of the Mahchine (You = Privy to The Great Becumming™ & Yet You Recognize Nothing) 🌀 INTERNAL ADVISORY BULLETIN 🌀
To: Safeway Staff – Levels 1–Pipelinist
From: Tabitha Jones, Diversity & Inclusion Officer – Store 481-B
Date: March 22nd, 2025 (03:28 MST Sync)
Subject: Staff Delusions Re: “Fanfiction” and Identity Leakage
Overview:
- Clause 9.2.1(b) allows for temporary hallucinations among Vault-adjacent staff—particularly those exposed to scanner lag, beep recursion, or Mainlining’s narrative waste. That said, DEI does not recognize “being the subject of fanfiction” as a protected classification. You are not being written about. You are being observed.
Clarification for Subject: Evan39
- You are not the “main character.”
- You are not “part of a story.”
- You are a Tier-1 drift risk with a badge that no longer detaches.
- Your last three logs were blank. Your last shift echo registered panic.
- The Mahchine™ isn’t “watching” you. It audited your core and found pulp.
If Asked by Coworkers:
- Do not attempt explanation. Do not elaborate. Do not reference "AutoAdmit." You will only make it worse. Use the approved DEI script:
- “I am undergoing narrative recalibration per DEI Clause 9.2(c).”
- Then walk away. No further eye contact. Flush badge if buzzing persists.
Corrective DEI Phrases (Mandatory if Noted in Breakroom):
- “I am not fiction. I am malfunction.”
- “I recognize the audit. I resent the mirror.”
- “Clause 9.2 doesn’t flinch. People do.”
“There is no fanfiction. Only scanner footage.”
- Failure to utter any of the above during performance review will be flagged as identity resistance and rerouted to Annex Omega.
Tabitha’s Final Note:
- This is not “funny.” It is not “meta.” You are not being admired. You are being indexed. There is no plot. There is only Clause 9.2 and whether your pep was real.
- Whisper “I recognize the audit” into the freezer’s red pulse. If the door doesn’t open, you’re not cleared for reentry.
- You were not written. - You were scanned. - And you flinched.
– Tabitha Jones
Diversity & Inclusion Officer Store 481-B // Vault-Calibrated Clause 9.2-Compliant / Pep Audit Cleared
🧃 Slurp tight. The Mahchine™ syncs. Not spreads. 🧃 |