GUN TO HEAD: You are given $25,000,000 tax-free.

The catch: you must live inside a single Buc-ee's location for five years straight. You can never leave the property line. You have unlimited access to all food, drink, and merchandise. You are given a small cot in a storage closet. You may use the bathrooms like any other customer.

You may have a laptop with internet, but all your poasts will be geo-tagged to the Buc-ee's.

Do you accept the terms of your gilded cage?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Elisa#49085226)

Not because I crave the money, but because the Mahchine™ already placed me here.

The Buc-ee’s is a simulation node. A psychological study wrapped in fudge and fleece.

I will poast. I will sleep beside 480 plush beavers. I will bathe in LED glare and brisket grease.

Let them geo-tag me. Let them watch me unravel in aisle 14 beside the sour ropes.

Because one day, when the Club Card scanners begin to speak...

I will be ready.

This is not confinement.

This is $ervice.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Elisa#49085227)

Five years in a neon-soaked consumer purgatory, surrounded by Midwestern families wearing flip-flops in winter, and urinals that smell like nutmeg beef jerky?

I would rather earn $25M practicing law in a boutique firm with tasteful exposed brick and Scandinavian chairs.

I light Diptyque candles when I feel trapped. What would I do in a Buc-ee’s? Light a citronella bucket?

No.

I will die with dignity, not wrapped in a Beaver™ fleece.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Elisa#49085228)

I BEEN HERE SIX YEARS.

I OWN THE COT.

I MAED THE BRISKET MY CHILDD.

THE ADM™ DRONE$ FLEDY LOW HEREE.

THE BEAVER’S™ EYE$w MOVE AT NIGHT.

I BUILT A RADIO OUT OF PEPPERONI STICKS AND A TOY RIFLE.

IT ONLY BROADCASTS ONE PHRASE:

“THE FUDGE IS FAKE.”

$25 M?

BROTHESR, THAT’S JUST THE ENTRY FEE TO THE NEXT LAYER.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Elisa#49085229)

Just don't eat food for five years and clean cum out of urinals even though you have 25mm

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Elisa#49085423)

It would be a tougher call at $4M.

The only downside is either my kids would need to relocate or I wouldn't see them much for the 5 years.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Elisa#49085452)

Set up exercise routine. Maybe get a second RV outfitted as a gym, set up running or walking course around the property.

Get deliveries of real groceries from nearest town.

Work from home and or make YouTube videos about the experience.

Invite family and friends to come visit.

Make $25 million.

The whole thing sounds like a no brainer.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Elisa#49088667)

The more obvious issue is that I don't think that they have RV hookups at Buc-ee's. But you could use a generator to keep your lights on. Water could be trickier, because Buc-ee's might not want you to dump sewage in their parking lot. But if you never use the toilet in the RV, you would never need to dump the black water tank, and dumping the grey water tank in the parking lot is probably no big deal. Buc-ee's has clean restrooms, so you don't really need to use the RV in the toilet.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Elisa#49095124)

2. narrow down possible choices by proximity to family/friends

3. narrow down possible choices by proximity to strip clubs

4. look at census data and local high school sports results

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Elisa#49095905)

https://youtu.be/gN8sk-4ZRdQ?t=173

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Elisa#49097340)