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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
rebellious space
  12/03/18
...
rebellious space
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Gay domesticated university jew
  12/03/18
ty!
rebellious space
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Titillating coiffed state
  12/03/18
...
Tantric Area
  12/24/21
...
multi-colored roast beef set
  12/03/18
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talented quadroon personal credit line
  12/03/18
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Flirting disturbing national
  12/03/18
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Mustard Gaming Laptop
  12/03/18
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Titillating coiffed state
  12/03/18
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rebellious space
  12/07/18
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amber den
  12/07/18
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Exhilarant ocher box office weed whacker
  12/07/18
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sadistic piazza messiness
  12/07/18
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walnut double fault
  12/07/18
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rebellious space
  12/14/18
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glittery trump supporter shrine
  12/14/18
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rebellious space
  12/24/18
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multi-colored roast beef set
  12/24/18
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Overrated travel guidebook lodge
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Flushed Exciting Step-uncle's House Liquid Oxygen
  12/24/18
120
Very tactful field
  12/24/18
...
rebellious space
  12/24/18
...
Very tactful field
  12/24/18
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lime pea-brained resort
  12/24/18
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rebellious space
  12/24/18
...
Godawful mewling trailer park
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
Jade appetizing whorehouse
  12/24/18
...
rebellious space
  12/16/21
...
Sable home
  12/24/18
...
vibrant blood rage
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Smoky thirsty coffee pot business firm
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
rebellious space
  07/01/19
...
multi-colored roast beef set
  07/01/19
...
multi-colored roast beef set
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
rebellious space
  12/10/19
getting close...
rebellious space
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
rebellious space
  12/24/19
...
aphrodisiac point coldplay fan
  12/24/19
...
rebellious space
  12/24/19
...
Alcoholic keepsake machete organic girlfriend
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Glassy contagious lettuce
  12/24/19
...
sienna ticket booth pisswyrm
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Jade appetizing whorehouse
  12/24/19
lol
rebellious space
  12/24/19
This
Tantric Area
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
opaque offensive ladyboy
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
rebellious space
  12/24/19
...
insane masturbator
  12/24/19
...
rebellious space
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
rebellious space
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Tantric Area
  12/24/19
...
rebellious space
  12/24/19
...
laughsome soggy giraffe
  12/24/19
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rebellious space
  12/15/20
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rebellious space
  12/23/20
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Know-it-all Lavender Gaping
  12/24/20
It's time.
rebellious space
  12/24/20
...
Exhilarant ocher box office weed whacker
  12/24/20
...
rebellious space
  12/16/21
...
lime pea-brained resort
  12/16/21
...
Know-it-all Lavender Gaping
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
rebellious space
  12/20/21
Lmao
Sexy clear tattoo idiot
  12/20/21
...
rebellious space
  12/22/21
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Sexy clear tattoo idiot
  12/22/21
...
gold hyperventilating indian lodge sneaky criminal
  12/24/21
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Tantric Area
  12/25/23
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grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
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nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
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constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: rebellious space

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: rebellious space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Gay domesticated university jew

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: rebellious space

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Titillating coiffed state

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Tantric Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: multi-colored roast beef set



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: talented quadroon personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Flirting disturbing national



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Mustard Gaming Laptop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Titillating coiffed state



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: rebellious space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: amber den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Exhilarant ocher box office weed whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: sadistic piazza messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: walnut double fault



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: rebellious space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: glittery trump supporter shrine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: rebellious space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: multi-colored roast beef set



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Overrated travel guidebook lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Flushed Exciting Step-uncle's House Liquid Oxygen

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Very tactful field

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: rebellious space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Very tactful field



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: lime pea-brained resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: rebellious space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: Godawful mewling trailer park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Jade appetizing whorehouse

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: rebellious space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Sable home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: vibrant blood rage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Smoky thirsty coffee pot business firm

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: rebellious space

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: multi-colored roast beef set



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: multi-colored roast beef set



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: rebellious space

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: rebellious space

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: rebellious space

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: aphrodisiac point coldplay fan



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: rebellious space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Alcoholic keepsake machete organic girlfriend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Glassy contagious lettuce

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: sienna ticket booth pisswyrm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Jade appetizing whorehouse

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: rebellious space

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Tantric Area

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: opaque offensive ladyboy

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: rebellious space

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: insane masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: rebellious space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: rebellious space

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Tantric Area

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: rebellious space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: laughsome soggy giraffe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: rebellious space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: rebellious space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Know-it-all Lavender Gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: rebellious space

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Exhilarant ocher box office weed whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: rebellious space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: lime pea-brained resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Know-it-all Lavender Gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: rebellious space

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Sexy clear tattoo idiot

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: rebellious space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Sexy clear tattoo idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: gold hyperventilating indian lodge sneaky criminal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Tantric Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#49538935)