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Had humiliating "annual review" at work (evan39)
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Date: June 28th, 2025 9:15 PM Author: Titillating Laser Beams Had to awkwardly sit down with prole boss in the back office of the supermarket. Sales are down and proles are still feeling the pain of inflation. We need higher margins on everything, and corporate doesn't want to hear any excuses. They want private label (store brand) everywhere, with "value" emphasized on all signage. We need more loyalty card enrollments, and they will expect at least five per day. You know, Evan, five per day is pretty easy! Just have them pull out their phones and download our retarded app. Also wanted to know why we aren't pushing so-called "basket builders" that increase the size of the average ticket; I want a basket, but it has nothing to do with a supermarket, believe me. Corporate will also review weekly receipt survey bullshit that is incredibly unrepresentative of customer experience; all it takes is one Karen to give us a "five" instead of a "ten" to sink the numbers. I hate this job and can't wait to get out of here. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5744233&forum_id=2Elisa#49057041) |
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Date: June 28th, 2025 11:42 PM Author: Federal sick space sweet tailpipe They said it was just a review, friend. “Just pull up the metrics,” they said. “Talk through the KPIs.”
But I knew. I knew when she summoned me.
Tabitha. Obese. Radiant. HR-Certified™. Her Big Gulp-Warhammer shimmered under the flickering LED light of the breakroom annex as she waved me into the back office. Her eyelids twitched in asynchronous judgment. Her phone buzzed. She never looked at it. The Mahchine™ had already logged the outcome.
“Evan,” she oozed, “your Club Card conversion rate is stagnant. We noticed you’ve only enrolled 2.4 guests per shift. Why is that?”
I opened my mouth, but she raised her Warhammer. “Shhh. It’s not about the proles, Evan. It’s about your pep.”
Then came the slide deck. Basket Builders™, the sacred scrolls of value stacking. Slide 7 featured a digital rendering of me—mid-aisle, blinking—flanked by cartoon dollar signs. Caption:
“Empower Guest Choice Through Suggestive Snacking.”
“Is this... a deepfake?” I whispered.
Tabitha cackled. “No, Evan. It’s your future. If you can’t move the merch, you’ll be moved.”
After the fourth survey audit, I found the note. Folded neatly under the keyboard, written in crayon:
$hredding won’t save you ;) — T.
Yes, friends. I nodded. This wasn’t a review. It was a compliance ritual. A Mahchine™ liturgy.
And I was the wafer.
[Link to digital onboarding portal disabled for mental health reasons.] |
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Date: June 28th, 2025 11:48 PM Author: Titillating Laser Beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5744233&forum_id=2Elisa#49057332) |
Date: June 28th, 2025 9:17 PM Author: Navy Charismatic Really Tough Guy the flame continues
you think prole bosses care this much to have Office Space annual reviews for minimum wage cashiers? how would our sub-literate Nig/Spic workforce put up with this |
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Date: June 28th, 2025 9:18 PM Author: Titillating Laser Beams I'm a supervisor, not a cashier. And yes, they have plenty of time for ridiculous meetings and "reviews" that accomplish nothing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5744233&forum_id=2Elisa#49057048) |
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Date: June 28th, 2025 9:22 PM Author: Navy Charismatic Really Tough Guy how much more do you get paid as a supervisor?
also how could the sub-literate workforce put up with this? Wouldnt LaQueesha give you a piece of her mind and always forget anything you told her |
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Date: June 28th, 2025 9:24 PM Author: Titillating Laser Beams I maek about 70k which is fine because I'm single. Only supervisors and above have formal reviews. LaQueesha and the kids who stock the shelves get small raises from time to time. Occasionally they qualify for a tiny bonus here and there. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5744233&forum_id=2Elisa#49057064) |
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Date: June 28th, 2025 9:26 PM Author: Navy Charismatic Really Tough Guy For 40 hrs a week? Youre prob doing better than average nowadays
Do you get any fringe benefits like free food, etc? |
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Date: June 28th, 2025 9:27 PM Author: Titillating Laser Beams Yeah, we get discounts on certain items. It still sucks, especially when I have to deal with deranged proles and coupon ladies. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5744233&forum_id=2Elisa#49057070) |
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Date: June 28th, 2025 9:18 PM Author: wonderful antidepressant drug striped hyena is that the best chatgpt can do? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5744233&forum_id=2Elisa#49057049) |
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Date: June 28th, 2025 9:19 PM Author: Titillating Laser Beams ? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5744233&forum_id=2Elisa#49057051) |
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Date: June 28th, 2025 9:40 PM Author: Aggressive blood rage Sad friend (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5744233&forum_id=2Elisa#49057103) |
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Date: June 28th, 2025 9:43 PM Author: Jade den personal credit line Abercrombie and Fitch grew a multi-billion dollar business out of a camping store just by having a couple buff young highschool dudes stand by the door and smile all day
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Date: June 29th, 2025 12:22 AM Author: bateful roast beef candlestick maker is this hot? only hire hot boy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5744233&forum_id=2Elisa#49057373) |
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Date: June 29th, 2025 12:16 AM Author: violent saffron dopamine legend aren’t you a prole yourself? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5744233&forum_id=2Elisa#49057366) |
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Date: June 29th, 2025 12:21 AM Author: blathering contagious library queen of the night "I want a basket, but it has nothing to do with a supermarket, believe me."
? |
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Date: June 29th, 2025 12:33 AM Author: Titillating Laser Beams In gay slang, "basket" most commonly refers to the male genitals, particularly the outline or shape of them through clothing. It's a term used when "cruising" or admiring another man's physique, particularly the area around the crotch.
https://greensdictofslang.com/entry/e2ffoga |
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Date: June 29th, 2025 4:15 PM Author: blathering contagious library queen of the night Don't be a fag, just call it a cock (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5744233&forum_id=2Elisa#49058512) |
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Date: June 29th, 2025 1:43 AM Author: crystalline location Do you have free samples of the store brand items? Set up a table and get that stuff into customers’ mouths and hands. People are skeptical of the store brands. Just need to overcome the stigma. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5744233&forum_id=2Elisa#49057472) |
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Date: June 29th, 2025 6:39 PM Author: Titillating Laser Beams Hmmm interesting idea (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5744233&forum_id=2Elisa#49058886) |
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Date: June 29th, 2025 10:14 PM Author: Titillating Laser Beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5744233&forum_id=2Elisa#49059414) |
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Date: June 29th, 2025 11:09 PM Author: Sepia Soul-stirring Home don't stink up the cucumbers next time, fag! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5744233&forum_id=2Elisa#49059492) |
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Date: July 3rd, 2025 3:19 AM Author: Federal sick space sweet tailpipe (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5744233&forum_id=2Elisa#49068238) |