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BAM! You get $25M, but you have to LIVE in a Buc-ee's for 5 years.
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Date: July 9th, 2025 3:34 AM Author: Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e (You = Privy to The Great Becumming™ & Yet You Recognize Nothing) BAM! You get $25M, but you have to LIVE in a Buc-ee's for 5 years.
GUN TO HEAD: You are given $25,000,000 tax-free.
The catch: you must live inside a single Buc-ee's location for five years straight. You can never leave the property line. You have unlimited access to all food, drink, and merchandise. You are given a small cot in a storage closet. You may use the bathrooms like any other customer.
You may have a laptop with internet, but all your poasts will be geo-tagged to the Buc-ee's.
Do you accept the terms of your gilded cage? |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 3:35 AM Author: Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e (You = Privy to The Great Becumming™ & Yet You Recognize Nothing) Subject: (The Beaver Logs All) I accept.
Not because I crave the money, but because the Mahchine™ already placed me here.
The Buc-ee’s is a simulation node. A psychological study wrapped in fudge and fleece.
I will poast. I will sleep beside 480 plush beavers. I will bathe in LED glare and brisket grease.
Let them geo-tag me. Let them watch me unravel in aisle 14 beside the sour ropes.
Because one day, when the Club Card scanners begin to speak... I will be ready.
This is not confinement. This is $ervice. |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 3:36 AM Author: Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e (You = Privy to The Great Becumming™ & Yet You Recognize Nothing) Subject: Evan "Juris Doctor" Vance (How Dare You) Absolutely not.
Five years in a neon-soaked consumer purgatory, surrounded by Midwestern families wearing flip-flops in winter, and urinals that smell like nutmeg beef jerky?
I would rather earn $25M practicing law in a boutique firm with tasteful exposed brick and Scandinavian chairs.
I light Diptyque candles when I feel trapped. What would I do in a Buc-ee’s? Light a citronella bucket?
No. I will die with dignity, not wrapped in a beaver fleece. |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 3:36 AM Author: Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e (You = Privy to The Great Becumming™ & Yet You Recognize Nothing) Subject: Boom (Screaming from inside the Buc-ee’s freezer) THEY THINK I’M TRAPPED? I BEEN HERE SIX YEARS. I OWN THE COT. I MADE THE BRISKET MY CHILD.
THE ADM DRONES FLY LOW HERE. THE BEAVER’S EYES MOVE AT NIGHT.
I BUILT A RADIO OUT OF PEPPERONI STICKS AND A TOY RIFLE. IT ONLY BROADCASTS ONE PHRASE:
“THE FUDGE IS FAKE.”
$25 MILLION?
BROTHER, THAT’S JUST THE ENTRY FEE TO THE NEXT LAYER. |
Date: July 9th, 2025 4:52 AM Author: disco fries (his own flesh as well as all space was still a cage) I would do this and also cop a job as a bathroom cleaner or whatnot. I also wouldn’t eat anything those 5 years. Id just waste away on a freeway island of excess. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49085259) |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 7:01 AM Author: fulano Wtf (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49085319) |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 8:07 AM Author: The Last Liberal (🧐) Someone needs to beat disco fries up irl. I can't think of a single person who more desperately needs some sense knocked into him (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49085405) |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 8:18 AM Author: fulano It's always so perversely bizarre and disconnectedfrom reality, even given the bizarre hypo. Just don't eat food for five years and clean cum out of urinals even though you have 25mm |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 8:35 AM Author: disco fries (his own flesh as well as all space was still a cage) There is dignity in a day’s honest work. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49085455) |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 4:55 AM Author: ~~(> ' ' )> When do I start? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49085260) |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 7:56 AM Author: The Big H Can I jog around the parking lot? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49085394) |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 8:11 AM Author: quinn woodward poo ((zurich is stained)) Can my wife and kids be with me? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49085409) |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 8:14 AM Author: .,.,.....,.,.;,.,,,:,.,.,::,...,:,..;,.., sign me up (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49085415) |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 8:15 AM Author: Emperor CRISPR Chad von Neumann III If my family can move close by and visit everyday then this sounds 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49085418) |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 8:31 AM Author: Nazca Redlines (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49085444) |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 8:23 AM Being able to go as far as the property line makes this way too easy, just get a massive RV and live in it for the duration. So long as you're patronizing the buccees regularly, they won't mind that you're taking up a parking space. You can also just buy lot lizards whenever you want a woman. When you consider the size of Seoul studios, nyuug is already effectively doing this for free. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49085431) |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 8:32 AM Author: fulano The lot lizards is an under considered part of this hypo. Just think about the dregs you'd be dealing with daily for 5 years (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49085448) |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 8:58 AM Author: manic pixie dream litigator avg buc'ees lot lizard's body count is lower than median 28 mfh tindershrew and that is PP confirmed (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49085493) |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 9:35 AM Author: fulano youd still have these aileen wournos types hovering over you while you eat your 10,000th free bag of flaming hot cheetos for breakfast and other BTK regulars coming in to patronize her services for five years. would be wild - theyd figure out your story fast and youd have no escap (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49085578) |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 1:10 PM Author: Non sequitur ttiwwop (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49086559) |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 8:34 AM Author: Nazca Redlines This would be well worth it and not that hard for $25M. You can chill, post, read, go on a walk around the 80 gas pumps.
It would be a tougher call at $4M.
The only downside is either my kids would need to relocate or I wouldn't see them much for the 5 years. |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 8:48 AM Author: JD, ADHD What the hell is Buc-ee. Sounds like some kind of prole southern thing (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49085477) |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 9:43 AM Author: fulano Buc-ee's is a chain of travel centers known for clean bathrooms and many fueling positions. Hehheh (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49085606) |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 1:42 PM Author: Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e (You = Privy to The Great Becumming™ & Yet You Recognize Nothing) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49086680) |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 9:07 AM Author: .,.,,...,...,..,....,...,...,... Yeah, this seems like a no-brainer if you have friends and family that can visit you on occasion. I can work remotely, so I wouldn't even need to quit my job. Although for $25M, I could just quit my job and look at porn and poast all day. And when your five years are up, you are financially set for life. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49085523) |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 9:10 AM Author: manic pixie dream litigator I have to imagine bucees would extend a store line of credit against the $25M. I'd walk out of there 280 lbs. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49085526) |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 9:12 AM Author: The Last Liberal (🧐) But where am I supposed to get 25 million dollars? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49085530) |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 11:47 AM Author: .,..,,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,..,.., Can I bang escorts in the Bucc-ees bathroom (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49086059) |
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Date: July 9th, 2025 1:15 PM Author: .,.,.....,.,.;,.,,,:,.,.,::,...,:,..;,.., whores who bang you in gas station bathrooms are officially past the point of being referred to as "escorts" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5747999&forum_id=2Reputation#49086590) |