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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
Hateful self-absorbed locale marketing idea
  04/24/15
...
abusive theater feces
  04/24/15
...
Dashing Amethyst Native
  04/24/15
...
slate point
  04/24/15
did this today
bonkers sienna mediation hall
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
Hairraiser elastic band
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
Sooty senate
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
Peach overrated nibblets church
  10/22/15
...
tripping spot persian
  10/22/15
...
Soul-stirring House
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
pearly 180 indirect expression
  10/22/15
...
Hateful self-absorbed locale marketing idea
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
Fuchsia flirting goyim
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
Hateful self-absorbed locale marketing idea
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
Fuchsia flirting goyim
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
Hateful self-absorbed locale marketing idea
  05/16/16
...
Mahogany travel guidebook
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
translucent swashbuckling dysfunction toilet seat
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
Out-of-control Comical Regret
  12/28/16
...
Mahogany travel guidebook
  11/11/20
...
duck-like bronze office wrinkle
  07/26/24
...
Claret box office cuck
  10/08/25
...
hours-hungry BILLPIG
  11/09/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: Hateful self-absorbed locale marketing idea

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#27751704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: abusive theater feces



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: Dashing Amethyst Native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#27751846)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: slate point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: bonkers sienna mediation hall

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022119)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: Hairraiser elastic band

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: Sooty senate

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: Peach overrated nibblets church

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022609)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: tripping spot persian



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: Soul-stirring House



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#49335488)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: pearly 180 indirect expression

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: Hateful self-absorbed locale marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: Fuchsia flirting goyim

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: Hateful self-absorbed locale marketing idea

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#30492630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: Fuchsia flirting goyim

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#30492644)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: Hateful self-absorbed locale marketing idea

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: Mahogany travel guidebook



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#32250208)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: translucent swashbuckling dysfunction toilet seat

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#32250216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: Out-of-control Comical Regret

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#32250229)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: Mahogany travel guidebook



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#41347456)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: duck-like bronze office wrinkle



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#47895234)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: Claret box office cuck



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#49335487)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2025 11:23 AM
Author: hours-hungry BILLPIG



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#49414142)