AITA for refusing to let my sister's kids stay with me after she passed away? I
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Date: June 22nd, 2024 3:59 PM Author: Non sequitur
AITA for refusing to let my sister's kids stay with me after she passed away?
I (34F) recently lost my sister (41F) to cancer. It was devastating, and I'm still processing the grief. My sister was a single mom to three kids: Jake (14M), Emma (12F), and Lily (8F). In her will, she named me as the guardian for her children.
Here's where things get complicated. I've never wanted kids of my own. I love my nieces and nephew, but I've always been the "fun aunt" who takes them out for ice cream or to the movies. I've never had to be responsible for major decisions about their lives.
I have a demanding career as a corporate lawyer, often working 60+ hours a week. I live in a small one-bedroom apartment in the city, which is perfect for me but definitely not suitable for three growing kids. My lifestyle involves a lot of travel and late nights at the office. I'm also in a relatively new relationship (10 months) with my loving boyfriend, who's childfree by choice like me.
When my sister first told me about her decision to name me as guardian, I expressed my concerns. I told her that I didn’t feel comfortable with that role because I didn’t think my boyfriend, job, and lifestyle wouldn’t survive it. She assured me that it was just a precaution and that she was sure she'd beat the cancer. I didn’t press the issue because I thought/hoped she would beat the cancer, and also because I wanted her to remain optimistic. We never really had another serious conversation about it.
Now that she's gone, I've told my family that I don't think I can take the kids. I've suggested that our parents (mid-60s, retired) take them instead, or possibly our older brother (40M) who has two kids of his own and lives in a large house in the suburbs.
My family is furious with me. They say I'm selfish and that I'm abandoning the kids when they need someone the most. They argue that it was my sister's dying wish for me to raise her children and that I'm “pissing all over” her memory by refusing. My parents say they're too old to raise young kids again, and my brother claims he can't afford three more children.
The kids themselves are understandably upset and confused. Jake, the oldest, overheard a conversation among family members and then Skyped me, visibly upset, saying that I'm abandoning them just like their dad did (he left when Lily was a baby).
I feel absolutely terrible about the whole situation. I love my nieces and nephew, and I want what's best for them. But I honestly don't think I'm equipped to raise three kids. I’m also dealing with my own grief, and I'm worried that if I take them in I'll end up resenting them or not giving them the care and attention they deserve.
I've offered to contribute significantly, financially, to their care, whoever ends up taking them in. I've also said I'd still be involved in their lives as their aunt, but I just don't think I can be their full-time guardian. My brother told me my life has changed and that I need to embrace it. I feel trapped with no way out, and most of my days are spent crying.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47769560) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2024 4:25 PM
Author: .,.,...,..,.,..:,,:,......,;:.,.:..:.,:,::,.
Hopefully the dead mom had life insurance and left a few million to take care of them. Move into a bigger place and hire a full time person to take care of the kids.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47769620) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2024 4:29 PM
Author: .,.,...,..,.,..:,,:,......,;:.,.:..:.,:,::,.
Depends on the health of the grandparents. If they're healthy then that should be a no-brainer.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47769630) |
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Date: June 23rd, 2024 11:25 AM
Author: .,.,.,.,.,.,............,,.,. ( )
lol. This chick is irresponsible enough to be a single mother THREE TIMES and left her kids to somebody who doesn't want them. I seriously doubt she has a fucking life insurance policy at all, let alone a multimillion dollar one.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47771052) |
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Date: June 23rd, 2024 12:16 PM
Author: .,.,.,.,.,.,............,,.,. ( )
Reliable men don't just abandon their kids on a whim. It's possible he had a mental break or something but most likely she chose to make three children with a loser and now they're paying the price for it.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47771214) |
Date: June 22nd, 2024 4:28 PM
Author: .,.,...,..,.,..:,,:,......,;:.,.:..:.,:,::,.
Why would that person ever agree to be a guardian for these kids? Just because her sister said she'd "beat" the cancer? LMAO at this obvious flame. If it's real then the kids should go live with their grandparents or get split up among relatives so it's not such a huge burden. Adding three kids to a childless shrew or a family with kids of their own already is a lot to handle.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47769629) |
Date: June 22nd, 2024 4:30 PM Author: AZNgirl falling off treadmill after seeing AZNman
this is literally "females" being indoctrinated by feminazis for decades to the point that even in horrible situations like this their only impulse is "how do i prove my GIRLPOWER!"
its all so insane, women shld never have any choice, they shld be told what to do, give them an inch and they will destroy ur entire furking society
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47769632) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2024 4:36 PM
Author: .,.,...,..,.,..:,,:,......,;:.,.:..:.,:,::,.
It really depends on the dead mom's financial situation. Maybe she had significant retirement savings, college accounts, life insurance, and real estate. That should all pass to the kids and their guardian to help with the transition. The kids also aren't babies so they should be somewhat independent. The ideal situation would be having the entire family buy or rent a big house together with the kids, aunt, and grandparents near her brother's family.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47769646) |
Date: June 22nd, 2024 4:40 PM
Author: ,,,,,,,,,.....,.,.,.,..,.,.,
sorry but i gotta stand with the shrew on this
she didnt even want her own kids and told her sister she wasn't the right guardian, so it's unreasonable to expect her to raise someone else's 3 kids
the dad who abandoned them is the real asshole
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47769662) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2024 4:57 PM Author: AZNgirl falling off treadmill after seeing AZNman
just being peace out isnt the solution though, she can take them for 1-2 years to sort shit out but she seems to be like "oh no way im enjoying getting creampied by CHAD while i swindle money for Jews in my loljerb"
just shows how deranged feminazism is, her first thought is her one bedroom apartment and her "senior associate" whatever postion and her "boyfriend" who prob she rotates every 3-4 months
bin laden was so right, we need to find his body and bring it out of the sea and build a monument like washington and lincoln got
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47769718) |
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Date: June 22nd, 2024 7:47 PM
Author: ...........,........,,,,,,,,.,,,, ( Slava Russiya, Slava Kharkov )
I agree with this. The logical choice here seems to be that either the brother or the grandparents take the kids and she contributes to their upbringing but if they're not willing to do it, it's her job to step up. Generally, they should all be willing to do it, which ironically would result in her not getting the kids as she's not the most suited to it.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47770021) |
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Date: June 23rd, 2024 5:33 PM
Author: ...........,........,,,,,,,,.,,,, ( Slava Russiya, Slava Kharkov )
Hate to agree with mr religion of peace up above, but I do agree with him. This attitude of always blaming the parents is the reason the white race is dying out. Having kids and then relying on family to support you and take responsibility for those kids is the reason other cultures are thriving while we are walking on the path towards extinction.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47771840) |
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Date: June 23rd, 2024 5:34 PM
Author: ...........,........,,,,,,,,.,,,, ( Slava Russiya, Slava Kharkov )
She may no longer be able to afford them once she loses her job because she's too busy with the kids, which could easily happen. The grandparents are literally retired with nothing to do.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47771842) |
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Date: June 23rd, 2024 10:47 AM
Author: .,.,.,.,.,.,............,,.,. ( )
Muslims don't and never even had a civilization to "decline." People who don't even have the glass house shouldn't throw stones at the people who do.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47770936) |
Date: June 22nd, 2024 9:10 PM Author: Metal Up Your Ass
i'm fairly certain this isn't real. you're not going to ask a single woman who lives in a shoebox to raise 3 kids.
can this kind of thing even be decided in a will?
the dad shouldn't be permitted to just turn his back on the kids in the situation.
doesn't matter though, because this is flame.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47770190) |
Date: June 22nd, 2024 9:18 PM
Author: ,,,,.....,,,,...,........,,,.....,,...,...
she can take care of them, should do it but oldest one has to take care of younger ones at home. This has been done many times before
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47770208) |
Date: June 23rd, 2024 10:42 AM
Author: .,.,.,.,.,.,............,,.,. ( )
This might be in my future too-- my sister made similar brilliant life decisions and if she croaks there's nobody to take care of her children (the "father" is long gone). Little fuckers are going to foster care if she croaks before they're 18, I'm not blowing up my life because my sister was too stupid to know how birth control works.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47770924) |
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Date: June 23rd, 2024 11:23 AM
Author: .,.,.,.,.,.,............,,.,. ( )
What if the """father""" doesn't want them? He already abandoned the family, he's not going to unabandon it to become a single dad.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47771049) |
Date: June 23rd, 2024 11:32 AM Author: ( ''.'')
Awesome 'Women are 180' flame.
Wasnt this a Diane Keaton movie from the '90s?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47771074)
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Date: June 23rd, 2024 11:33 AM Author: gunner's world -- crawling toward cheddar bay (gunneratttt)
this is a perfect set up for a 90s family sitcom where the corporate shrew learns the value of family by having this thrust upon her. of course it's 2024 now.
likely flame but if true tcr would be give a chunk of her $$$ to her brother so he could afford to raise them if she is so deadset on shrewmaxxing.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47771078) |
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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47772077) |
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