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Dating App bros - need some advice on how hard I should blame myself on this one
Poast new message in this thread
Date: June 14th, 2024 3:42 PM Author: michael doodikoff Girl who I have matched with multiple times over the years but never met. I think in like early 2021 we tried to set a date but she had tennis and other workout shit scheduled like every night and was impossible to meet and I eventually gave up. Matched a few times since then but never met.
She is a successful owner of a PT studio from what I can tell. Nice but very Type A.
We went out more than two weeks ago for the first time after recently matching again. Went well, had moderate amount of fun, she seems really focused on her job and her fitness stuff/classes. Like, she has workouts and shit pretty much every single night. I can usually make them laugh a lot, had a harder time with her.
I tried to set up a second date last week and three week nights this week, but she was busy for all of them, and wanted Friday night (tonight). I agreed. She never texted me during this two week period since we met up, only responded to me when I texted her. Seemed like slightly more than zero interest.
Two days ago, we texted to agree on a time to meet up tonight. 7:30. Yesterday I got really busy and was exhausted when I got home and didn't text her to pick a spot to meet up at. This morning at probably like 10:30am I sent her a text to set a place to meet tonight.
She responded that "I left the house at 5:30am not knowing if we were meeting tonight, so I have to go home and change and let out the dog first, but let's meet at the place you suggested."
Mind you, she lives about 5-10 minutes from her office (insanely close by Atlanta standards), and we had a time set up for 7:30 already. The place I suggested was probably 15 minute away from her.
I responded that I apologize for not setting up the place the night before, but looking forward to seeing you tonight.
She just responded "Sorry to bail, but I am feeling a bit rushed on tonight. Lets do a rain check"
QUESTION: I guess I should have set the place to meet up yesterday, but we had a time already set up and I arranged the place the morning of thinking it was NBD.
Is she being too uptight about "planning" or am I being an aloof jerk who isn't showing proper excitement about our date (which xoxo always says is the right approach - doesn't seem to work AFAICT)?
Not asking her out ever again, but wanted some perspective - would love a female perspective on this one too.
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Date: June 14th, 2024 3:46 PM Author: Activated almonds You're like 55 how can you possibly still be doing this Time to pack it in boyo, just play Gamepass |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 3:46 PM Author: michael doodikoff Gamepass is all I have left. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747201) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 3:47 PM Author: Activated almonds Great Game Fest showing for M$ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747203) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 3:48 PM Author: michael doodikoff agreed. the internet was on fire after it, people starting to doubt $ony (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747206) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 3:47 PM Author: hours-hungry BILLPIG Unless and until you poast a full body nude video of you rotating around like an NFL player intro on tv, we can't help you (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747202) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 3:48 PM Author: hank_scorpio idk where to even start with this one, every single decision you made was the opposite of what you should have done, have you tried the George method from Seinfeld? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747205) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 3:49 PM Author: michael doodikoff help me out here. Am I always supposed to pick a spot the day before when we have a time set? I guess with this one the answer is yes. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747208) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 3:50 PM Author: hank_scorpio you never should have gone out with her in the first place given the background, but having done that then yes you should have aggressively set a second date or just bounced on her, she was never that into you and you made her feel less special than she thinks she is, and she thinks she is very special indeed (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747216) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 3:52 PM Author: michael doodikoff TY i thought this myself (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747222) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 3:53 PM Author: hank_scorpio have you tried fucking younger, plainer looking women? Idk why you insist on high maintenance shrews your own age (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747227) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 3:56 PM Author: michael doodikoff I dont date my age. To the extent that I date anyone close to my age, they are no different than the younger ones in terms of how they act. In fact, the older ones are often more of a disaster than the younger ones (alcoholics, insane expectations, ice-cold nature, impossibly set in their ways with no room for anyone else, etc) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747232) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 4:55 PM Author: hank_scorpio that's what I'm saying, date a different type of chick and target as young as you can go, you are clearly into high maintenance bitches (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747414) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 6:38 PM Author: michael doodikoff hard to tell from these apps. girl in the OP was not some super slutty looking chick, looked and dressed normal (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747689) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 6:38 PM Author: hank_scorpio bro, there are red flags all over your op (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747692) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 4:39 PM Author: Manhattan Prison Awaits (No Future) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747360) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 6:23 AM Author: Trump is the Lib Killer (TDNW) if she were really interested, this wouldn’t be an issue. or she could have asked in advance
there’s a reason she’s single |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 6:26 AM Author: fulano There's a reason he's single too.
You guys need to stop propping up his shitty decisions by blaming the women. Dood is 50 and single on slutapps. |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 6:29 AM Author: Trump is the Lib Killer (TDNW) her not being interested is as much his fault as anything
but her “unh I left the house already and have to go back” bitchiness is a massive red flag |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 6:34 AM Author: fulano I can guarantee you I would see 40 massive red flags in just her profile picture.
Doodikoff is Doodikoff. He's helpless and won't listen. I've tried for years. Jump ship |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 6:49 AM Author: Trump is the Lib Killer (TDNW) fair enough (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748664) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 7:02 AM Author: fulano Wow. No one has ever agreed with me before |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 7:24 AM Author: Trump is the Lib Killer (TDNW) MD is a 180 poster but he’s a complete shitshow wrt the opposite sex and I have no illusions about it finally clicking for him (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748694) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 7:34 AM Author: fulano His life and tts might be the only two reality shows worth watching (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748703) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 9:45 AM Author: Trump is the Lib Killer (TDNW) cr
clsg’s life is that over the top expensive mini series that completely flops |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 10:02 AM Author: Taylor Swift is not a hobby she is a lifestyle (πΊπΈ π΅π±) and mine? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748893) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 10:04 AM Author: Trump is the Lib Killer (TDNW) like Seinfeld it’s halfway through the first season and the characters are still trying to find their niche. but we’re still watching cuz we believe there’s something golden there (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748898) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 10:07 AM Author: Kenneth Play ( ) sadly cr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748911) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 3:52 PM Author: rickpanama how many croissants deep are you with this one? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747221) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 3:52 PM Author: michael doodikoff $15 taco plate and a $12 margharita IIRC (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747225) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 7:03 PM Author: Paralegal Mohammad (I fucking hate libs) $27 so 3 croissants deep (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747765) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 8:32 PM Author: Gay Grandpa Lol the Croussant Equivalency (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747999) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 8:39 PM Author: FizzKidd (coquette aesthetic) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748014) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 9:04 PM Author: Activated almonds (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748071) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 9:06 PM Author: Totally Nude LLP (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748078) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 6:23 AM Author: Trump is the Lib Killer (TDNW) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748651) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 8:51 AM Author: RL "The Big Guy" Peters (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748789) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 4:39 PM Author: Manhattan Prison Awaits (No Future) Girl who I have matched with multiple times over the years but never met. I think in like early 2021 we tried to set a date but she had tennis and other workout shit scheduled like every night and was impossible to meet and I eventually gave up. Matched a few times since then but never met.
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Date: June 14th, 2024 4:40 PM Author: Manhattan Prison Awaits (No Future) matched with multiple times over the years but never met tp (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747363) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 4:45 PM Author: michael doodikoff there are tons of these bitches that I match with and never actually meet. Then years later finally meet. they are always, without exception, bullshit people (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747378) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 4:55 PM Author: hank_scorpio why do you think they are on an app for years and years? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747419) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 5:56 AM Author: fulano Why do you think he is (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748639) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 8:53 AM Author: RL "The Big Guy" Peters Excellent insight. What lessons can we draw from this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748794) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 7:21 PM Author: Mainlining the $ecret truth of the univer$e (COORDINATES: 82.508453, -62.410526.) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747794) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 6:28 AM Author: Judas Jones (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748654) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 10:10 AM Author: Kenneth Play ( ) :( (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748915) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 6:46 PM Author: Alien vs Predator vs Brown vs Board of Education “ which xoxo always says is the right approach” Brother you’ve been here long enough to XO consensus is almost always wrong. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747719) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 6:55 PM Author: Hollywood Hogan Bullshit. He has consistently gotten great advice from xoxo over the course of 5+ years but then ignores it to his detriment. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747755) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 7:23 PM Author: As far as they will go but even farther (π§) (xo relationship advice giver) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747805) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 9:06 PM Author: Totally Nude LLP Not in the context of Doodikoff dates (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748080) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 7:00 PM Author: Hollywood Hogan Bro you are clearly punching above your weight in terms of matches for some reason because literally every woman you meet treats you as low value in person. Do you think a woman who is attracted to you and turned on by the idea of fucking you would behave this way? At best, she had slotted you into the beta provider category and was thinking about maybe resentfully settling for you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747761) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 7:04 PM Author: hank_scorpio he is 100% picking chicks he wishes he could have gotten in high school but have ended up single in their late 30's and early 40's due to being enormous bitches (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747767) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 7:24 PM Author: Hollywood Hogan This is part of it but there also has to be a mismatch between what these bitches expect and how he presents in person. It truly is a statistical abberation how often this guy fails. Years and years on these apps and not even the most modest success ... like how has he not even managed to have a misguided fling with some mentally ill broken chick where he optimistically fucks her for a few months before the red flags become too obvious to ignore? How has he not found even THAT in YEARS? There is something about him that universally turns these women off. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747811) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 7:27 PM Author: hank_scorpio he's trying to be a nice guy to chicks that want to be chokefucked by chad (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747823) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 6:25 AM Author: Trump is the Lib Killer (TDNW) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748652) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 9:28 PM Author: Ass Problems wow (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748130) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 7:04 PM Author: Paralegal Mohammad (I fucking hate libs) Not taking into account that you never should have gone out with her but yeah she’s being an uptight bitch about the scheduling. I think you dodged a bullet. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747769) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 7:13 PM Author: Manhattan Prison Awaits (No Future) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47747780) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 8:45 PM Author: \'\'\"\"\'\'\'\" imagine the amount of cock she's had if she's been on apps that long. these are all damaged goods and best to avoid for anything than pump and dump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748028) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 9:05 PM Author: Totally Nude LLP You dodged a bullet (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748074) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 9:15 PM Author: Just your average poaster She's not interested.
Apologizing for not scheduling was a mistake. "Looking forward to seeing you" was also a mistake based on how you've described your interactions - say shit like that when you have some sort of connection or at least momentum in the convo
You knew she was type A and usually had her weeks entirely planned out. Waiting until morning of to pick a spot for dinner was obviously not going to fly with someone like that. |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 9:28 PM Author: Activated almonds He should have chained her to a radiator (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748129) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 10:49 PM Author: dj clue you did fine the key to dating is understanding that nothing you do really matters that much. They like you or they dont. She might be flaky because thats just who she is, or she could be not that into you, or could be super into you and nervous. No way of knowing. not worth thinking about |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 10:56 PM Author: Tim Dillon Absolutely not true. Many men are on the fringe and are ONE WRONG MOVE away from becoming a genetic dead end, let alone procreating with/marrying someone way hotter than them. If she is out of your league, and truly hot, being tactical can make all the difference. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748289) |
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Date: June 14th, 2024 10:58 PM Author: As far as they will go but even farther (π§) (irl tim dillon trying to lecture you on how women work dude) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748293) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 3:57 AM Author: Hollywood Hogan He didn't do "fine." Going out with her at all was the mistake and he compounded it by trying to go out with her again.
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Date: June 15th, 2024 12:33 AM Author: cowgod (cowgod180@hotmail.com) You need to follow Roissy’s teachings and lose the one-itis. Stop caring and move on, let her text you if she wants (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748434) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 5:57 AM Author: fulano Listen to hank Scorpio. You are terrible at this and lol at cherry picking some xo advice but ignoring the crux of it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748640) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 7:29 AM Author: Oh, you travel? ( ) What are you saying to these broads when you meet them? You need to learn how to talk to women which is basically to never be sincere/apologetic or whatever you’re doing, don’t need to be an asshole but the gift of gab is important. I met this cute black chick last night and she literally grabbed my phone and put her number in it after we bantered for a bit. Women will be VERY obvious if they want you.
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Date: June 15th, 2024 7:36 AM Author: Judas Jones He gets stuck in “dancing monkey” frame.
“I can usually make them laugh a lot, had a harder time with her.” |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 7:57 AM Author: Oh, you travel? ( ) This is how it should go down imo:
https://ibb.co/J5PqGkz |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 8:05 AM Author: FizzKidd (coquette aesthetic) haha harassment funny hehe (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748727) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 8:16 AM Author: fulano Oyt wins. You need to go on a "blind" date with doodikoff and record the whole thing so I can finally get to the bottom of this. I'll pay airfare and hotel. No meals or croissants on me, obviously, as doodikoff will take care of that |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 8:19 AM Author: FizzKidd (coquette aesthetic) How about a "blind" date where I blind him so that he can at least have an excuse for not finding a wife (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748746) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 8:24 AM Author: fulano doodikoff will never. Ever. Make it without our intervention. Ask steez. He's the smartest poster on xo (because he sees how smart I am). Book a flight and I will immediately pay you back (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748752) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 8:27 AM Author: FizzKidd (coquette aesthetic) The problem is it won't be a blind date because I have the foreknowledge that doodikoff can be bilked for endless croissants. Also, Atlanta sucks and steez only seems smart because lex got dumber (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748753) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 9:07 AM Author: RL "The Big Guy" Peters (2035 doodikoff app match) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748810) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 9:46 AM Author: Trump is the Lib Killer (TDNW) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748858) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 8:11 AM Author: cowgod (cowgod180@hotmail.com) The idea that you would expect anyone to believe this is concerning. Seek help. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748734) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 8:30 AM Author: Oh, you travel? ( ) OYT is the man. Accept it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748755) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 9:19 AM Author: cowgod (cowgod180@hotmail.com) Have fun not getting laid (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5540892&forum_id=2Reputation#47748818) |
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Date: June 15th, 2024 10:51 AM Author: .........,,;,;,;,,,............,,;,;;,.;. As someone who has dated countless type A girls like this and who has successfully found wifey on an app, I can tell you that she's a bitch and you didn't fuck it up.
Imagine trying to develop anything serious with this bitch or even thinking she could satisfy you. Assuming she's kinda hot, she's still been on the apps for years which is already a huge tell. You being on the apps for years is also a bit of a tell but you're a guy, it's different. For her, it means she can't develop or maintain personal relationships and not for lack of potential suitors.
If you're looking for a good girl to settle down with, you gotta catch the ones who haven't been on the apps very long. |