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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/03/18
...
internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Chrome Fortuitous Meteor Headpube
  12/03/18
ty!
internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Yellow Impertinent Mad-dog Skullcap Set
  12/03/18
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garnet mexican
  12/24/21
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Mint cerebral church
  12/03/18
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coiffed old irish cottage
  12/03/18
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Aqua Center
  12/03/18
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lime gay wizard
  12/03/18
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Yellow Impertinent Mad-dog Skullcap Set
  12/03/18
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internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/07/18
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stimulating drab parlour
  12/07/18
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Massive senate
  12/07/18
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  12/14/18
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  12/14/18
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internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/24/18
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Mint cerebral church
  12/24/18
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fear-inspiring disrespectful newt base
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Sadistic provocative mood
  12/24/18
120
bistre mental disorder
  12/24/18
...
internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/24/18
...
bistre mental disorder
  12/24/18
...
alcoholic sickened tank useless brakes
  12/24/18
...
internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/24/18
...
autistic stage
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
sepia irradiated voyeur
  12/24/18
...
internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/16/21
...
Gay Concupiscible Dilemma
  12/24/18
...
Big maroon goyim
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Drunken business firm liquid oxygen
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  07/01/19
...
Mint cerebral church
  07/01/19
...
Mint cerebral church
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/10/19
getting close...
internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/24/19
...
multi-colored chestnut legal warrant
  12/24/19
...
internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/24/19
...
Costumed painfully honest twinkling uncleanness institution
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Out-of-control Ebony Faggot Firefighter Lodge
  12/24/19
...
onyx swashbuckling menage juggernaut
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
sepia irradiated voyeur
  12/24/19
lol
internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/24/19
This
garnet mexican
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
yapping saffron goal in life
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/24/19
...
Metal resort kitty cat
  12/24/19
...
internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
garnet mexican
  12/24/19
...
internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/24/19
...
pearl judgmental casino keepsake machete
  12/24/19
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internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/15/20
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internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/23/20
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Bearded Bonkers Electric Furnace Hairy Legs
  12/24/20
It's time.
internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/24/20
...
Massive senate
  12/24/20
...
internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/16/21
...
alcoholic sickened tank useless brakes
  12/16/21
...
Bearded Bonkers Electric Furnace Hairy Legs
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/20/21
Lmao
transparent telephone office
  12/20/21
...
internet-worthy white meetinghouse
  12/22/21
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transparent telephone office
  12/22/21
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Vibrant Step-uncle's House Codepig
  12/24/21
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garnet mexican
  12/25/23
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grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
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nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
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constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Chrome Fortuitous Meteor Headpube

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Yellow Impertinent Mad-dog Skullcap Set

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: garnet mexican



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Mint cerebral church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: coiffed old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Aqua Center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: lime gay wizard



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Yellow Impertinent Mad-dog Skullcap Set



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: stimulating drab parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Massive senate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Unhinged citrine partner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: ultramarine foreskin heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: jade fragrant area antidepressant drug



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Mint cerebral church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: fear-inspiring disrespectful newt base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Sadistic provocative mood

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: bistre mental disorder

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: bistre mental disorder



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: alcoholic sickened tank useless brakes



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: autistic stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: sepia irradiated voyeur

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Gay Concupiscible Dilemma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Big maroon goyim



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Drunken business firm liquid oxygen

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Mint cerebral church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Mint cerebral church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: multi-colored chestnut legal warrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Costumed painfully honest twinkling uncleanness institution



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Out-of-control Ebony Faggot Firefighter Lodge

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: onyx swashbuckling menage juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: sepia irradiated voyeur

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: garnet mexican

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: yapping saffron goal in life

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Metal resort kitty cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: garnet mexican

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: pearl judgmental casino keepsake machete



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Bearded Bonkers Electric Furnace Hairy Legs



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Massive senate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: alcoholic sickened tank useless brakes



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Bearded Bonkers Electric Furnace Hairy Legs



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: transparent telephone office

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: internet-worthy white meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: transparent telephone office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Vibrant Step-uncle's House Codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: garnet mexican



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#49538935)