Kamala is the first to go, impotently shaking a balled ladyfist while shrieking about slavery reparations at Wallruse. Her incoherent bleating comes to a deadly full stop as Wallruse spins around in an elegant, lightning-fast "180" motion, firmly planting one thick, rock-hard tusk deep into her eye-socket.

Warren, thoroughly cowed by Wallruse's stunning display of martial excellence, begins stammering and stuttering about her 2% manatee heritage---a fatal mistake she would not live to repeat, as the mere mention of the hated manatee causes Wallruse's blubber to shudder with righteous fury. He raises his flipper, delivering a mighty Firewater haymaker to the top of her skull. Her oblong cranium erupts in a veritable shower of blood and brain tissue, soaking the front two rows of spectators with an incredible blast of gore and offal. By this point, Wallruse has been worked into a berserker frenzy, his great jowls are shaking as he lets off his signature war cry of "Urk! Urk! Urk!". The other candidates are cowering behind their podiums, but the likes of mere particle board and carcinogenic Chinesium rivets will not stop the bloody-handed fury emanating from this magnificent 1,300 pound aquatic mammalian Mjolnir.

"Urk, urk. Urk! Urk." ("Are there none amongst you worthy to face me? Fight, or you shall perish like dogs."), Wallruse bellows as he grasps a light fixture and begins to climb. Despite his great weight and immense size, he moves with the speed and grace of a Nutcracker lead up the rapidly buckling scaffolding. The crowd, aching with awe and delight, has spontaneously broken out into an enthusiastic crescendoing chant of "Urk! Urk! Urk!". Wallruse takes a brief moment to wave his bloodied tail at his newfound fans before zeroing in on his next victim with the precision of a heat-seeking Predator missile. Sanders is in his sights. His eyes narrow in hatred as he backflips from the rigging. Wallruse smashes into the senatorial bag of bones with the force of a Tsar Bomba, turning his podium into a frag grenade of wood splinters and metal shards as pieces of the ex-senator clear the debate stage of any remaining contenders. Williamson's aorta eats a razor-sharp javelin-like piece of femur shortly before she collapses to the floor, spitting up and choking on a thick crimson geyser of blood. An armless Delaney is separated from his feet and thrown into the frenzied crowd by the rocketing skull of Sanders, his last cries and pleadings for mercy drowned out by the ear-splitting noise of the flying debris. The rest of the candidates died too but since no-one knows or cares about who they are it isn't mentioned here.

Wallruse waddles out of the crater with a stern look on his face. He looks like he's been living in a knackery dumpster for the last year. He takes a brief moment to wipe a particularly large piece of Warren's scalp off of his otherwise immaculate ivory tusks before raising his flippers to the now-rioting crowd. They fall silent and return to their seats, inspired and threatened, in equal measure, by Wallruse's quiet confidence, strength of character, and raw animal magnetism. His grand, marvelously whiskered lips part, and he utters a single, proud word: "Urk."

Without skipping a beat, the audience bursts back into cheers and claps as Andrew Anglin stands out of his seat and walks on to the blood-slicked stage. He stands triumphantly next to the marvel and splendor that is Wallruse as a banner unfurls: "Wallruse/Anglin 2020: New Dawn for USA".

And the rest? Well, poaster---the rest is history. *camera zooms in on Wallruse's gore-soaked tusk*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4313718&forum_id=2Reputation#38617344)

If that's not multitasking idk what is

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4313718&forum_id=2Reputation#38618076)

You have split objectives, the ones you live and the ones you wish.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4313718&forum_id=2Reputation#39448675)

i listened to the song as i read and it def enhanced the experience too

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4313718&forum_id=2Reputation#39448791)

If there's enough interest, I may finally type out the sequel idea I've had dancing around in my head for a while

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4313718&forum_id=2Reputation#41323072)