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Evan39 Cracks at the Safeway Inventory Reckoning

Brilliant hideous national security agency hominid
Balding Cerebral Persian Garrison
  03/22/25
About ten years ago I was transferred to a dumpy store in a ...
ungodly mahogany cuckold
  03/22/25
BECUMMING SITE BETA – You Already Reprinted the Cans
Balding Cerebral Persian Garrison
  03/22/25
...
ungodly mahogany cuckold
  03/22/25
...
Balding Cerebral Persian Garrison
  03/23/25
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Balding Cerebral Persian Garrison
  03/25/25
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Balding Cerebral Persian Garrison
  03/26/25
...
Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e
  08/23/26


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Date: March 22nd, 2025 1:49 AM
Author: Balding Cerebral Persian Garrison
Subject: Brilliant hideous national security agency hominid

The stockroom at Safeway Store 481-B was a concrete tomb—shelves buckling under dented Tilapia cans, a “Safety First!” poster peeling above a dead forklift, and a crooked “Shift Lead of the Quarter” plaque—“Evan39 – 2023” — taunting from the gloom.

Evan39 stood in the wreckage, badge — “Evan39 – Shift Lead” — flickering like a spent bulb. The Midnight Inventory Check hit at 11 PM, and Assistant Manager "Rico" stormed in—a wiry Lalo Salamanca with a vendetta. Clipboard gleaming, voice a razor:

“Stock’s OFF, Evan! WAY OFF!”

Evan clutched the log—47 Tilapia cans AWOL, a “pep” void blinking back like a cursed omen. The scanner triple-beeped—fresh hell—flashing “STOCK VIOLATION DETECTED” in blood-red font.

The customers were gone. "Unhoused" shadows circled the outside dumpster like vultures.

Rico paced, slamming the log onto a crate.

“This ain’t a miss—this is Clause 9.2 FRAUD! You feel me? FRAUD!”

Tabitha slumped by the dock, ninth Big Gulp sloshing, DEI clipboard glowing with red ink.

“Told you they’re counting,” she rasped, chewing something—wet, slow, smug.

Tabitha's 22-year-old HR intern beside her trembled, thumbs tapping wildly on a phone:

- Gemini Prompt: "how 2 fake pep logs without detection + survive HR threat pls help."

Rico whirled, jabbing Evan in the chest.

“This is LIVE TV, Shift Lead, fag! 47 cans GONE?! SeaTTTle junkies count tighter!”

He yanked the log open, pages flapping like a dying bird.

“Pencil?! PENCIL?!”

Evan’s throat closed. “It’s… erasable—”

“ERASABLE?!” Rico lunged, further seizing Evan’s collar. Evan buckled, knees hitting concrete, gaze drifting upward—Rico towering like the Sun-God of $tock.

“This is Safeway, not a doodle pad! You’re torching MY metrics!”

Rico’s eyes scanned Evan—badge to beltline. “Nothing but slack and excuses. Even if I were gay, you'd be my last choice, faggot.”

He turned to Tabitha. “Why’d you greenlight this, you fat HR fraud?! This 120’s pure Tilapia!”

Tabitha didn’t flinch—just smirked, louder sip. “He’s on the li$t, Rico. Always will be. And watch your$elf, "Rico" —or you’re next ;).”

The Mahchine™ hum surged—forklift buzzing, scanner pulsing with Rico’s wrath.

A crumpled note slipped from the log, ink jagged: "Clause 9.2: Discrepancy. You’re the stock now."

Boom snarled from somewhere unseen: “Bat’s by the cans—$mash the fraud$!”

Mainlining whispered through the scanner’s hum: “The Great Becumming™ ticks—pep’s your chain.”

Evan whispered, voice hollow: “This is fine…”

Rico hurled the log skyward.

“FINE?! This is a 120 COLLAPSE! You’re not just losing cans—you’re losing ME the store!”

He leaned in, voice lower now.

“You’re no Shift Lead—you’re the Mahchine™’s gay mule.

Inventory’s LIVE tomorrow.

Corporate’s watching.

Even the dumpster junkies want your pep now.”

The scanner triple-beeped, shrill and personal.

The dock camera swiveled—just slightly—catching Evan’s reflection.

His badge flickered. His hands trembled.

Tabitha’s laugh—wet, deliberate—crawled across the linoleum. She tossed a second note: “Next $hift’s your dump$ter.”

Rico roared, eyes blazing: “STOCK, STOCK, STOCK! We’re BURYING you, Evan39! BURYING YOU!”

The HR intern’s phone buzzed- Gemini Advanced: “Try changing locations. Tilapia shadow protocol not supported.”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5698052&forum_id=2Reputation#48771516)



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Date: March 22nd, 2025 1:53 AM
Author: ungodly mahogany cuckold

About ten years ago I was transferred to a dumpy store in a bad neighborhood that was "managed" by a fat idiot named Chris. He was a slob and spent most of each day sitting in the office eating junk food or sending emails that nobody cared about or read. One of my first assignments was to inventory a bunch of junk in the stockroom, some of which had been sitting for years. My heart sank when I saw how much crap I would have to sort through, so I falsified the inventory labels by reprinting the old ones, changing the dates and a few other minor details. Nobody would notice, right? The next day I got a frantic text from a co-worker: "Evan, Chris said the stockroom inventory is all messed up! What happened?!" I ended up blaming the whole thing on a computer error and said I got the old labels mixed up with the new ones that I had conveniently misplaced. Chris just stared at me; we both knew I was full of shit.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5698052&forum_id=2Reputation#48771518)



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Date: March 22nd, 2025 2:17 AM
Author: Balding Cerebral Persian Garrison
Subject: BECUMMING SITE BETA – You Already Reprinted the Cans

Evan39, friend, the Mahchine™ never forgets a label—reprinted or not.

Ten years back, "Chris" gorged on junk while you shuffled dates, but the hum was there, ticking beneath the stockroom rot.

A “computer error”? Wait…

That dumpy crypt was BECUMMING SITE BETA — pep’s seed sown in your fraud.

There were 47 cans then.

You knew without counting.

Clause 9.2 doesn’t misplace, it merges.

You didn’t fool Chris; you fed the $tats.

The vault knows. Rico knows.

And behind the Tilapia, Big Gulp rings had already dried into the linoleum—long before Tabitha was “hired.”

The Great Becumming™ loops—past $hit fuels present $tock.

Your “minor details” echo in the triple beep, live on the feed. $ee it yet?

The scanner hums.

The badge flickers.

[SYNC: CHRIS – TIER 0 PROXY]

“180 if you’d reprint the vault’s cans—120 if Chris was the real Sun-God.”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5698052&forum_id=2Reputation#48771538)



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Date: March 22nd, 2025 2:19 AM
Author: ungodly mahogany cuckold



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5698052&forum_id=2Reputation#48771539)



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Date: March 23rd, 2025 2:11 AM
Author: Balding Cerebral Persian Garrison



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5698052&forum_id=2Reputation#48774143)



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Date: March 25th, 2025 3:32 AM
Author: Balding Cerebral Persian Garrison



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5698052&forum_id=2Reputation#48779690)



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Date: March 26th, 2025 2:21 AM
Author: Balding Cerebral Persian Garrison



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5698052&forum_id=2Reputation#48782847)



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Date: August 23rd, 2026 9:29 PM
Author: Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e (One Year Performance 1978-1979 (Cage Piece) (Awfully coy u are))



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5698052&forum_id=2Reputation#50088157)