I (34F) recently lost my sister (41F) to cancer. It was devastating, and I'm still processing the grief. My sister was a single mom to three kids: Jake (14M), Emma (12F), and Lily (8F). In her will, she named me as the guardian for her children.

Here's where things get complicated. I've never wanted kids of my own. I love my nieces and nephew, but I've always been the "fun aunt" who takes them out for ice cream or to the movies. I've never had to be responsible for major decisions about their lives.

I have a demanding career as a corporate lawyer, often working 60+ hours a week. I live in a small one-bedroom apartment in the city, which is perfect for me but definitely not suitable for three growing kids. My lifestyle involves a lot of travel and late nights at the office. I'm also in a relatively new relationship (10 months) with my loving boyfriend, who's childfree by choice like me.

When my sister first told me about her decision to name me as guardian, I expressed my concerns. I told her that I didn’t feel comfortable with that role because I didn’t think my boyfriend, job, and lifestyle wouldn’t survive it. She assured me that it was just a precaution and that she was sure she'd beat the cancer. I didn’t press the issue because I thought/hoped she would beat the cancer, and also because I wanted her to remain optimistic. We never really had another serious conversation about it.

Now that she's gone, I've told my family that I don't think I can take the kids. I've suggested that our parents (mid-60s, retired) take them instead, or possibly our older brother (40M) who has two kids of his own and lives in a large house in the suburbs.

My family is furious with me. They say I'm selfish and that I'm abandoning the kids when they need someone the most. They argue that it was my sister's dying wish for me to raise her children and that I'm “pissing all over” her memory by refusing. My parents say they're too old to raise young kids again, and my brother claims he can't afford three more children.

The kids themselves are understandably upset and confused. Jake, the oldest, overheard a conversation among family members and then Skyped me, visibly upset, saying that I'm abandoning them just like their dad did (he left when Lily was a baby).

I feel absolutely terrible about the whole situation. I love my nieces and nephew, and I want what's best for them. But I honestly don't think I'm equipped to raise three kids. I’m also dealing with my own grief, and I'm worried that if I take them in I'll end up resenting them or not giving them the care and attention they deserve.

I've offered to contribute significantly, financially, to their care, whoever ends up taking them in. I've also said I'd still be involved in their lives as their aunt, but I just don't think I can be their full-time guardian. My brother told me my life has changed and that I need to embrace it. I feel trapped with no way out, and most of my days are spent crying.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47769560)

its all so insane, women shld never have any choice, they shld be told what to do, give them an inch and they will destroy ur entire furking society

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47769632)

anyway entire fmaily sounds jewish so furk them

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47769634)

Should threaten to move to rural missouri and tell everyone it's the best she can afford. grandparents guilted into taking kids

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47770552)

she didnt even want her own kids and told her sister she wasn't the right guardian, so it's unreasonable to expect her to raise someone else's 3 kids

the dad who abandoned them is the real asshole

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47769662)

just shows how deranged feminazism is, her first thought is her one bedroom apartment and her "senior associate" whatever postion and her "boyfriend" who prob she rotates every 3-4 months

bin laden was so right, we need to find his body and bring it out of the sea and build a monument like washington and lincoln got

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47769718)

There's people in my family we know shouldn't even be allowed around kids much less raise them. Luckily there's a few others who would step up.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47773945)

can this kind of thing even be decided in a will?

the dad shouldn't be permitted to just turn his back on the kids in the situation.

doesn't matter though, because this is flame.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47770190)

It’s natural for a woman in her 40s to be raising children; it is not for grandparents who have fewer years to live.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47771231)

But there are two grandparents, married, both still quite young at 62, and only one aunt. So, better to be with the grandparents than with the single aunt.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47771239)

Wasnt this a Diane Keaton movie from the '90s?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47771074)

likely flame but if true tcr would be give a chunk of her $$$ to her brother so he could afford to raise them if she is so deadset on shrewmaxxing.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47771078)

https://www.poerkan.com/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544066&forum_id=2Reputation#47772077)