is there a spencer's gifts?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3941332&forum_id=2Reputation#35780247)

*suits up Doom style with Craftsman chainsaw*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3941332&forum_id=2Reputation#35780404)

If they were asleep you might be able to make it, but they'd probably want to play (roughly). They're very curious.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3941332&forum_id=2Reputation#35780315)

This could absolutely fuck a grown man up, are you insane?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3941332&forum_id=2Reputation#35780497)

no match for pumo

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3941332&forum_id=2Reputation#35780701)

A jaguar. Besides being larger than a leopard, they have the strongest bite force of any big cat, including tigers and lions. They regularly kill crocs, which leopards don’t.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3941332&forum_id=2Reputation#35781751)

*makes lots of noise*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3941332&forum_id=2Reputation#35780505)

ur avg 6'4 230 lb xo po would stunt on bobcats cheetahs leopards and cougars

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3941332&forum_id=2Reputation#35780512)

what next, denver isn't in the midwest because it isn't mid enough?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3941332&forum_id=2Reputation#35781076)

Grab a couple memory foam mattresses and some meat from the food court, and they'll probably have dinner and curl up for a nap.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3941332&forum_id=2Reputation#35781100)

http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=3941332&forum_id=2#35783631

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3941332&forum_id=2Reputation#35783652)

Wait for cats to die of hunger/thirst.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3941332&forum_id=2Reputation#35781443)

https://youtu.be/YmZonrhC4pw?t=10s

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3941332&forum_id=2Reputation#35786846)

Surely pumped up on adrenaline, donning Howie Long’s slip on sketchers and running about 19mph you should be able to out maneuver them for lack of traction

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3941332&forum_id=2Reputation#35781464)

Cover it with a sheet that has a view port cut out of it.

Then turtle your way to the other end.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3941332&forum_id=2Reputation#35783631)

https://www.macys.com/shop/product/nike-mens-air-max-more-running-sneakers-from-finish-line?ID=4915978&CategoryID=63266#fn=BRAND%3DNike%26SIZE%3D%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D256%26ruleId%3D28%7CBOOST%20SAVED%20SET%26searchPass%3DmatchNone%26slotId%3D1

There are two floors in Macy's and escalators inside the store. Kinda like this but with 2 floors:

https://www.thesomersetcollection.com/retailers/macys/

I get my bearings, up and down. I figure a big cat doesn't know how to ride an escalator--especially the wrong way up. I stack some mannequins by the landing so I can throw in its path up the escalator if it comes to that.

There is a home goods store with big kitchen knives. I grab a couple of pointy 6" ones like this

https://www.macys.com/shop/product/j.a.-henckels-international-classic-chefs-knife-6?ID=807203&CategoryID=31760#fn=sp%3D1%26spc%3D347%26ruleId%3D78%7CBOOST%20ATTRIBUTE%7CBOOST%20SAVED%20SET%26searchPass%3DmatchNone%26slotId%3D60

I need a warning system to alert me to the cats' presence. I want to know where they are before I make a move--if I can help it. I bet I can move a bunch of light chairs and stools from the makeup section (supplemented by some shelving or something) to create a barrier of sorts in front of each entrance that will won't stop a determined cat but will make enough racket to give me warning to flee up or down.

I'll figure out how to raise and lower the evening security gate and close it down and get some sleep.

I think my next play is to move my barriers outward, clearing safe space several stores down. Same idea with a warning detector. I probably can lower the security gates to 3" off the floor, drape some sheets over it to the floor and block most of the open clearance with some tables or stacked mattresses. Just to confuse the cat enough to let me get through and then up or down and out. I know I can slip through my designated opening and if chased head up or down and slip out the other entrance in the same way. I leave some mattresses outside the gate for shutting the cat inside.

But if that happens, then it's a surprise and I'm out in the open with 1 cat to go. So I'm careful at first. I want to see it coming.

I think I like the idea of being on the top floor and baiting them downstairs. The food court is too far so I need to get them downstairs in my section. I have all kinds of scented shit, gift baskets, cupcake batter. So I definitely have some type of food bait, but who knows if they cats haven't found the same kind of shit in the mall. But this is perfect:

https://www.macys.com/shop/product/stonewall-kitchen-original-pancake-waffle-mix?ID=4229371&CategoryID=45859#fn=GOURMET_FOOD_TYPE%3DFood%26SIZE%3D%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D2%26ruleId%3D78%7CBOOST%20SAVED%20SET%26searchPass%3DmatchNone%26slotId%3D2

I decide to be ironic and lather copies amounts of wet pancake batter around a mannequins's ken doll nullo and hang dripping from the second store to about 5' off the ground downstairs. As far down as to the first atrium I can comfortably get. I tie some jingle bells or glasses or whatever i can scrounge up around to make a warning sound.

I set up a couple more.

If I can put eyes on 2 cats at once downstairs, I run to freedom in my Nike Air's. That's my plan.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3941332&forum_id=2Reputation#35784344)

That said, I once worked in a mall, so I'm cocky.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3941332&forum_id=2Reputation#35788296)

now reading through this 180 thread, I am reconsidering

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3941332&forum_id=2Reputation#37080445)

"a random hungry big cat (lion, tiger, jaguar etc) is placed on each near the middle"

Random. Raaaaaaaaaaandom. RANDOM. No, you don't get to choose the cats, because that's literally the opposite of random.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3941332&forum_id=2Reputation#43520331)

It's how you know this site is populated with losers who've never worked an honest day in their lives.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3941332&forum_id=2Reputation#49772667)