Hot shot defense attorney: "No, but this is a scholar ship!"

Judge: "Case dismissed!"

*laugh track*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3966876&forum_id=2Reputation#36229145)

How bout an episode where a foreign national serial rapist is finally caught aboard a cruise liner, having raped a bunch of people there, and is "jurivacced" to the law ship for trial before his evil home country can use diplomatic maneuvers to derail the system.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3966876&forum_id=2Reputation#37338994)

FADE IN:

EXT. OCEAN JUDGMENT - NIGHT

The massive law ship is moored in port, its deck lights shining in the darkness. A smaller vessel, the SS Tort Tug, pulls up alongside it.

INT. OCEAN JUDGMENT - BRIDGE

Captain Daniels and First Mate Stevens are on watch when the alarm sounds.

DANIELS: What the hell? Stevens, get down to the engine room and see what's going on. I'll call for backup.

STEVENS: Aye, Captain.

Stevens hurries off as Daniels picks up the ship's phone and dials security.

DANIELS: This is the Captain. We have an intruder on board. I need backup in the engine room, stat!

CUT TO:

INT. OCEAN JUDGMENT - ENGINE ROOM

Stevens enters the engine room to find a man in a suit trying to fiddle with one of the control panels.

STEVENS: Who are you? What are you doing?

MAN: Oh, just making some adjustments. Nothing to worry about.

STEVENS: Like hell there isn't! You're coming with me.

The man sighs and follows Stevens out of the room.

CUT TO:

INT. OCEAN JUDGMENT - SECURITY OFFICE

The man is being interrogated by Daniels and one of the ship's security officers.

MAN: My name is Harold Finch. I'm a lawyer with the firm of Tort, Tug & Associates.

DANIELS: And what were you doing in our engine room?

FINCH: We served you with papers earlier. Didn't you get them?

DANIELS: What papers?

FINCH: A lawsuit, alleging that the Ocean Judgment is operating outside its legal mandate and jurisdiction. We're asking for an injunction to stop your vessel from sailing until the matter can be resolved.

DANIELS: This is outrageous! We'll be fighting this in court first thing in the morning. Now get off my ship!

Finch gets up to leave, but not before giving Daniels a smarmy smile.

FINCH: We'll be seeing you soon, Captain.

CUT TO:

INT. OCEAN JUDGMENT - COURTROOM

The ship's courtroom is crowded with lawyers, reporters, and curious onlookers as the case of Tort, Tug & Associates v. Ocean Judgment gets underway. Judge Frederickson presides over the proceedings.

FINCH: Your Honor, we believe that the Ocean Judgment is operating outside of its legal mandate and jurisdiction. We are asking for an injunction to stop the vessel from sailing until the matter can be resolved.

DANIELS: Your Honor, this is a frivolous lawsuit brought by a disgruntled rival who doesn't like competition. We respectfully request that it be dismissed.

JUDGE FREDERICKSON: I'm going to allow both sides to present their cases and then make a ruling. This court is now in session.

CUT TO:

INT. OCEAN JUDGMENT - LATER

Daniels is in his office, pacing back and forth in frustration. Stevens comes in with some papers.

STEVENS: Captain, we've just received word that the Mexican freighter we collided with has sunk. There are no survivors.

DANIELS: Damn it! This is a disaster. We have to get under way immediately and rendezvous with the Busy Barrister to start rescue operations.

STEVENS: But what about the injunction?

DANIELS: To hell with it! We have lives to save. Get the ship ready to sail.

CUT TO:

INT. OCEAN JUDGMENT - COURTROOM

The court is in session and Finch is on the stand, being questioned by Daniels.

DANIELS: Mr. Finch, how long have you been working for Tort, Tug & Associates?

FINCH: About six months, Captain.

DANIELS: And in that time, how many cases has your firm brought against the Ocean Judgment?

FINCH: Oh, I don't know. A dozen or so, I suppose.

DANIELS: And how many of those cases have been successful?

FINCH: None that I'm aware of, Captain.

DANIELS: So, in other words, your firm has a perfect record of losing against us?

FINCH: Objection! Relevance?

JUDGE FREDERICKSON: Overruled. The witness will answer the question.

FINCH: Well, when you put it that way, yes, I suppose we do have a perfect record of losing against you. But we're not giving up. We'll keep filing lawsuits until we win one.

Defeated, Daniels sits down as the judge adjourns the court for the day.

JUDGE FREDERICKSON: This court is adjourned.

CUT TO:

INT. OCEAN JUDGMENT - CAPTAIN'S QUARTERS

Daniels is on the phone with someone, trying to get some information.

DANIELS: I need to know everything you can find out about Tort, Tug & Associates. We're going to be fighting them in court again soon and I want to be prepared this time.

CUT TO:

INT. TORT, TUG & ASSOCIATES - CONFERENCE ROOM

Finch is meeting with his boss, Mr. Tort, and another lawyer from the firm.

TORT: This one is going to be different, Finch. We're not going to lose this time.

FINCH: Yes, sir.

TORT: I've hired a new lawyer to help us with the case. She's the best in the business and she's not afraid of a fight.

The door opens and a woman walks in. Everyone stands to greet her.

TORT: Let me introduce you to our new associate, Samantha Kelly.

KELLY: It's a pleasure to meet you all.

TORT: Kelly, this is Harold Finch. He'll be working with you on the Ocean Judgment case.

KELLY: Nice to meet you, Finch. I've heard a lot about you.

FINCH: Oh, uh, same here.

The two shake hands and sit down at the table.

TORT: Now, let's get to work...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3966876&forum_id=2Reputation#45185214)

EXT. BUSY BARRISTER - DAY

The Ocean Judgment arrives at the scene of the sinking and begins rescue operations. Some of the crew are lowered down in a basket to start bringing survivors up to the deck. Others are busy treating the wounded on board.

DANIELS: We're doing everything we can, but there are just too many people and not enough time.

STEVENS: The Coast Guard is on its way, but they won't get here for hours.

DANIELS: We can't wait that long. We'll have to start making some hard choices.

CUT TO:

INT. OCEAN JUDGMENT - COURTROOM

"Tort, Tug & Associates v. Ocean Judgment."

FINCH: Your Honor, the defendants have shown contempt for this court by ignoring the injunction and sailing away. I move for a finding of guilty and imposition of a fine.

DANIELS: Your Honor, we were responding to an emergency situation. Lives were at stake.

JUDGE FREDERICKSON: I'm going to find the defendants in contempt of court and order them to pay a fine of $10,000. However, I commend the crew of the Ocean Judgment for their heroic efforts. This court is adjourned.

CUT TO:

INT. OCEAN JUDGMENT - DANIELS' OFFICE

Daniels is on the phone with someone from the Mexican consulate. He looks tired and defeated.

DANIELS: Yes, I understand… No, there's nothing more we can do… We'll be back in port tomorrow… Yes, I'll let you know when we arrive… Goodbye."

He hangs up the phone and buries his face in his hands.

FADE TO BLACK.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3966876&forum_id=2Reputation#45185229)