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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/03/18
...
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
vibrant bull headed stag film
  12/03/18
ty!
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Carmine Glittery Roast Beef Spot
  12/03/18
...
learning disabled ivory clown
  12/24/21
...
erotic reading party
  12/03/18
...
boyish pocket flask
  12/03/18
...
arousing unhinged hunting ground
  12/03/18
...
Sapphire Site Giraffe
  12/03/18
...
Carmine Glittery Roast Beef Spot
  12/03/18
...
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/07/18
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unholy light orchestra pit police squad
  12/07/18
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appetizing stage dingle berry
  12/07/18
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demanding racy halford
  12/07/18
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Shimmering crotch
  12/07/18
...
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/14/18
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Hilarious market
  12/14/18
...
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/24/18
...
erotic reading party
  12/24/18
...
chartreuse zippy alpha quadroon
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Supple Misanthropic Jap
  12/24/18
120
medicated cruise ship fanboi
  12/24/18
...
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/24/18
...
medicated cruise ship fanboi
  12/24/18
...
Trip step-uncle's house hominid
  12/24/18
...
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/24/18
...
big faggotry
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
electric church
  12/24/18
...
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/16/21
...
aromatic abode ape
  12/24/18
...
Galvanic range messiness
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Impressive library gay wizard
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  07/01/19
...
erotic reading party
  07/01/19
...
erotic reading party
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/10/19
getting close...
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/24/19
...
spruce razzle-dazzle heaven
  12/24/19
...
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/24/19
...
Henna laser beams lodge
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Magenta irradiated cuckoldry
  12/24/19
...
self-absorbed circlehead athletic conference
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
electric church
  12/24/19
lol
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/24/19
This
learning disabled ivory clown
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
beady-eyed self-centered whorehouse mexican
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/24/19
...
Impertinent Forum Pisswyrm
  12/24/19
...
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
learning disabled ivory clown
  12/24/19
...
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/24/19
...
Talented Citrine Public Bath Background Story
  12/24/19
...
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/15/20
...
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/23/20
...
Naked slimy home
  12/24/20
It's time.
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/24/20
...
appetizing stage dingle berry
  12/24/20
...
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/16/21
...
Trip step-uncle's house hominid
  12/16/21
...
Naked slimy home
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/20/21
Lmao
Turquoise menage prole
  12/20/21
...
Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo
  12/22/21
...
Turquoise menage prole
  12/22/21
...
Aphrodisiac brilliant school
  12/24/21
...
learning disabled ivory clown
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: vibrant bull headed stag film

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Carmine Glittery Roast Beef Spot

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: learning disabled ivory clown



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: erotic reading party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: boyish pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: arousing unhinged hunting ground



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Sapphire Site Giraffe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Carmine Glittery Roast Beef Spot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: unholy light orchestra pit police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: appetizing stage dingle berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: demanding racy halford



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Shimmering crotch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Hilarious market



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: erotic reading party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: chartreuse zippy alpha quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Supple Misanthropic Jap

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: medicated cruise ship fanboi

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: medicated cruise ship fanboi



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Trip step-uncle's house hominid



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: big faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: electric church

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: aromatic abode ape



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Galvanic range messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Impressive library gay wizard

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: erotic reading party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: erotic reading party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: spruce razzle-dazzle heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Henna laser beams lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Magenta irradiated cuckoldry

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: self-absorbed circlehead athletic conference



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: electric church

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: learning disabled ivory clown

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: beady-eyed self-centered whorehouse mexican

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Impertinent Forum Pisswyrm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: learning disabled ivory clown

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Talented Citrine Public Bath Background Story



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Naked slimy home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: appetizing stage dingle berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Trip step-uncle's house hominid



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Naked slimy home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Turquoise menage prole

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Angry alcoholic pit water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Turquoise menage prole



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac brilliant school



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: learning disabled ivory clown



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#49538935)