CRAIG: Status update on the latest poast counts?

JOSH: Roughly half current events, some nigger threads, and the rest worthless flame.

CRAIG: Okay, and Benzo?

JOSH: On parole.

CRAIG: Parole?

JOSH: Theft of a cookie display.

CRAIG: Fine. Evan and Boom?

JOSH: Same person.

CRAIG: Mainlining?

JOSH: Still working on the Mahchine.

CRAIG: Where does that leave us with regard to Tommy Turdskin?

TOBY: Uh, still in Asia, net worth holding steady, and still hates Amerikkka.

CRAIG: And NYUUG?

TOBY: Worthless chaebong hyung.

CRAIG: In English, Toby!

TOBY: Uh, he never completed his mandatory military service.

CRAIG: What?

TOBY: It's loosely translated as subhuman garbage.

JOSH: Korean women have been known to throw themselves into furnaces rather than marry a chaebong hyung.

CRAIG: I didn't need to know that.

JOSH: Right.

CRAIG: We're running late, but we have flame poasts to approve, spam to delete, crypto to purchase, and shrews to mock all within the hour.

TOBY: Can do.

CRAIG: Damn it Toby, I need absolute assurance, not a weak 'can do' or whatever. This is Zozo, not Reddit.

TOBY: Understood.

CRAIG: Rach is going to want updates every hour, on the hour.

TOBY: You have my word.

[POTUS BARTLET appears around hallway corner]

BARTLET: How are you, Toby?

TOBY: Fine sir, good to see you.

BARTLET: Are those flame threads coming along nicely?

TOBY: Yes, sir.

BARTLET: What about Luigi?

JOSH: Uh, Mangione? We have about a dozen poasts mocking his appearance, four insulting his Italian heritage, and three poking fun at women who are apparently in love with him.

BARTLET: C.J., I expect better from the bort, especially when you consider that there are at least three MPM champions still hanging around.

CRAIG: Yes sir, I agree.

BARTLET: I want creative thread titles, preferably by poasters who know what the hell they're doing.

CRAIG: Yes sir, can do.

BARTLET: C.J., you're going to have to do better than that. A weak 'can do' is simply not going to cut it. Remember, this is Zozo, not Reddit.

CRAIG: Of course, sir.

[ZOZO OPENING MONTAGE BEGINS SHOWING BALD FAGGOTS, WEIRD BROWN PEOPLE, AND RANDOM JEWISH LAWYERS]

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5649903&forum_id=2Reputation#48451296)