A few things worth naming. What you're describing, that surge of anxiety with a physical sensation like something crawling on your skin (sometimes called formication), can happen with high anxiety. It can also show up with other things going on in the body or mind. That's worth paying attention to, not to scare you, but because it points toward getting a real evaluation rather than just trying to white-knuckle through it.

I want to ask gently, because it shapes what might help: is this anxiety mostly tied to your wife and the relationship specifically, or is it more of a constant background thing that's been ramping up across your whole life lately? And have you had a stretch like this before, or does this feel newer or more intense than usual?

The reason I ask is that the answer points in different directions. If something about the relationship feels unsafe or stuck, that's one path. If your nervous system is just cranked to the max right now in a way that's bleeding into everything, that's another, and that version often responds well to talking with a doctor, because there are real physical and treatable pieces to it.

For right now, in the moment when she's talking and that crawling feeling starts: you're allowed to say "I want to hear you, but I'm flooded right now and I need a few minutes." Stepping away briefly to let your body settle isn't rejecting her, it's keeping yourself from snapping at someone you love. You don't have to push through the alarm.

Would it help to talk through what's been building, or would you rather focus on what to actually do next?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5875907&forum_id=2Reputation#49952754)