Date: June 2nd, 2014 7:18 PM Author: NeumannMorgenste
It happened many years ago, but the memory is still fresh in my mind. When I close these tired, old eyes, I can see that little house on the Midwest plain, sweltering in the night heat. Here and there a few shots of tall trees but otherwise the gorgeous midnight monotony of fields and fields of corn. The moon practically drips off into the dark horizon in this Mercury's Plot of heat. The family's gathered on the porch, the dogs and cats lulled into a sort of sleep from the atmospheric oppression. And then, my son, it began: pop! pop-pop!! pop-pop-pop!!! The field blooms with -- what's that? Is this really happening? Could it be? POP!!! POP!!! The corn is popping!!! We children ran out into that midnight storm of popping corn, shouting with glee into the fields, the dogs and cats in tow behind, mother and father chasing after us!
Date: July 19th, 2014 11:02 AM Author: Big school philosopher-king
"The moon practically drips off into the dark horizon in this Mercury's Plot of heat."
I didn't like this sentence. In the next sentence you wrote "family's" instead of "families." Other than that, you painted a wonderful picture with words and not a single paint brush was harmed in the process.