Reversed - not!

Don't like the avoidance canon? Suck our cocks

Oh, no-o, that's the judicial role

[Roberts]

Who the fuck is this

You never thought I'd make the switch

Me and Scalia are like Biggie and Lil Cease,

Just 'Me and My Bitch'

Reviews of my opinion are so generous

They say I'm such a feminist

MFF with a Jew and an Hispanic, both lesbians

Isn't this so great?

My wife gets off on restraint

I thought I fucking told you, modesty is my defining trait

The press corps's sniffing my junk

Erin Burnett thinks I'm a hunk

Oh wait, there's a catch -

This opinion contains everything Barnett would ever want

Revived coercion doctrine

Activity/inactivity concoction

No more Necessary and Proper Clause

It's like a brand new Lochner

Now Romney supporters are jumpin

They say this is a crucial junction

In our nation's history

Obama, get ready for a tubthumpin

Just think what I can decide

With Kavanaugh and Eid

Poor old Professor Tribe

Will commit suicide

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1982133&forum_id=2#20979627)

What the fuck did I sign?

What is this coercion/extortion line

Maybe if I spent less time

Applying Coase For Dummies to the pimples on my behind

I wouldn't have signed this shit

I wouldn't have taken a hit

From the Chief's bong for Jesus

Damn, he's one pretty clean-cut bitch

Pimped hoes in the 213

Copped that LLB

Deregulated the airline industry

Now I craft 4-part hypos while listening to Lil B

Counsel never understand

Sometimes I think I look like an ampersand

How'd I get on this Court where the one black guy loves Ayn Rand?

I just want what makes good sense

Pragmatic jurisprudence is the best

Fuck these formalists mucking up shit with doctrinal nonsense

Law's about what's in reason

To everything a season

Once I was young and handsome for a Jew,

Now my bald head is covered with lesions

My clerks fret about this and that line

New doctrinal lines

I just look at the bottom line

50 million Americans insured, it's fine

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1982133&forum_id=2#20979776)

Chicas, I don't understand

Did we reverse, affirm, remand?

Reporters are going ham

(Sniff-sniff) Is that contraband?

Still a trial judge at heart

Suppression hearings are such a lark

I don't understand, these dark con law arts

I just follow Ruth

She's so nice, and so shrewd

Caselaw gets me in a cranky mood

Aunt Ruthie will tell me what to do

'Cause I'm a wise Latina I'm resented

Criticize my opinions, I'll be racially offended

Counsel always ignore my questions

'Cause they're kind of demented

I just know the act was upheld and that's so nice

Good sensation feeling, like chicken and rice

Now Uncle Paco will have free healthcare; he always wears Old Spice

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1982133&forum_id=2#20979882)

Hell to the fucking no

This really is a low blow

The Chief tried to take out Article I like Puffy did Shyne Po

This really is so shiesty

Dude should be acting nicely

Why doesn't he appreciate

My kugel and sweet iced tea?

Motherfucking goyim

What shitty fucking lawyas

Alito hires clerks that are Hoyas

and yesterday Soto walks up to me and says "le choy-im"

Trying to relate

That bitch is so second-rate

Gotta get back home, seance with Louis Brandeis, congregate

We've got to set it straight, I'll win this constitutional debate

What?? Kagan joined Roberts on the Spending Clause??

Maybe Virginia Thomas helps her masturbate

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1982133&forum_id=2#20979943)

someone needs to make a track and upload to youtube, it would get picked up by a few blogs at least

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1982133&forum_id=2#20979961)

Hey Grandma, hold the fuck up

Step to me, you'll need some luck

Took you about a hundred years to get to SCOTUS

Took me about two months

You stay in your lane

I'm playing the long game

If I join with Roberts today

Maybe in ten years I'll gain

By then you'll be dead

What a little zed

Thurgood once told me, "munch her carpet, she'll munch yours," yes that's what he said

Got Roberts's vote in exchange for some concessions

Now Obama will win the elections

Then the Senate will confirm your and Nino's replacement

In subsequent congressional sessions

Then I'll be the leader, yeah fucking right

Roberts will be marginalized

I'll effectively be the first Chief Justice that was a dike

You just wait, you'll see

I'll be borne out by history

You'll be looking down from Jew heaven

as the Court belongs to me

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1982133&forum_id=2#20979999)

[Thomas]

Aiyyo, young girls want to suck, married women want to cuck

DC hostesses want to fuck, libs see me and duck

All for dat BBC, sucking on DDD's,

hiring cute clerks from TTT's, and never saying a single peep

My dissents always be the wildest, though sometimes a little childish

I resort to judicial violence - REAL NIGGAS MOVE IN SILENCE

Yeah, I know all about that Robert Cover, your bitch says I favor Danny Glover,

The framers didn't like obscenity

But that don't mean I can't take your girl's throat, my BBC and smother

What the fuck you gon' do, when Antonin and me run up on you

Your doctrines we run through, then I harass your bitch too

Stackin up them dictionaries, law's like a game of Pictionary

You a shitlib fairy, and your bitch be looking hairy

Invalidate some congressional acts, then chill with Marion Barry and smoke some crack

Call me 'token' and I blow out your bitch's back

Now that's an affirmative act

(Alito)

(Uh, uh, um, yo, yo yo yo, yo, um, yeah)

Court-watchers say I'm aspie, my voice sounds a little raspy

Luttig bombed his interview so Bush asked me, at least I'm not a Marxist, Harold Laski

Well, you can overlook me, it's alright, I take long walks by myself at night

Then flex my limited rhetorical might

and write ten-page dicta pwning you out of spite

Though I do kind of resent it, that when Scalia writes no one cares that Alito dissented, or reads a single sentence

Just to get attention I have to decide questions that weren't presented

Don't much like the First Amendment, except when it would leave unions upended

Or make shitlibs mad and scream 'horrendous!'

To the death, corporate speech I'll defend it

What does a guido have to do to get prestigious? Do I have to go on Regis?

Oh, he's not on TV anymore, guess I'll just have to rest my faith in Jesus

Giving cookies to the Chief, and the finest Italian meats

Prosciutto and special kinds of sicilian beef, then those choice assignments I'll reap

[Kennedy]

Yo yo yo, it's the realest nigga

People say I'm hard to figga

The rep keeps growing bigga

Profs following my moves like jigga

I meditate like Hamlet

My opinions run the gamut

Decide the hottest issues of the day

Over a PB and jelly sandwich

Pondering the mysteries of life

I cite some Bork and then some Fiss

Put an end to pro-choice, pro-life strife

I'm the Big Cheese and you're blind mice

Let you faggots bone, saved kids from execution till they're grown

Put Bush under that Capitol Dome, you niggas better watch the throne

Cite me your best case quick, give me a limiting principle that'll stick

Haven't you heard that I'm the shit? Even got Steve Reinhardt suck-sucking my dick (no homo)

All about that liberty, mixed with some sovereign dignity

A little equality, and lots of credit for me

Corporate equality? Healthcare that's for free?

State sovereignty? It all comes down to me, your Honor, Kennedy

[Roberts]

Yo, all hail to the Chief

I'm from the heartland where we raise tons of head of beef

Then I come to SCOTUS

and pwn habeas petitioners named Lateef

Started out in private practice

Took the nation's greatest lawyers to the mattress

Then I turned to Paul Clement and was like

"Lil breh, you can have this"

Front all like I'm kind

Like precedent I'm behind

Then I take your civil rights movement

and hold down and press rewind

Racial classification's so sordid

Executions so morbid

That's why I love AEDPA so much

So them I don't have to forbid

Deferential review

It's the thing to do

No injury in fact?

Ding fag, no standing for you

Heightened pleading standards

for ragheads whom I abhor

We're shutting the courthouse doors

to all you shitlib whores

Lower court judges disobey?

like Reinhardt and Eric Clay?

I summarily reverse your lives

Like Uday and Qusay

You libs don't understand

While you're building castles in the sand

I just overrule decades of precedent

and grant, vacate, remand

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1982133&forum_id=2#20980155)

legit laughed out loud at least six times.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1982133&forum_id=2#20980986)

Now that's an affirmative act "

180 does not do this post justice

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1982133&forum_id=2#20995124)

Reversed - not!

Don't like the avoidance canon? Suck our cock

Oh, no-o, that's the judicial role

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1982133&forum_id=2#20980248)

They want to strike ACA, but I ask on what grounds

Don't mess with this bitch even though I'm ninety pounds

Hot shot lawyers be callin' me a shrew

But I be damn smart, don't forget I'm a Jew

To vaccuum out babby at nine months is mighty fine

When reptiles object I say don't you dare draw that line

Affirmative action, public funding for the arts

I say it's all good, here's some more Jew farts

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1982133&forum_id=2#20982504)

Oh hello there Jan,

It is I, Kennedy the Grand

Decider of all Things in This Fair Free Land

Or at least I used to be

Till Roberts stole that title from me

Guess someone was jealous of my cover shoot on T-I-M-E*

While Thomas was macking on O.P.P.

and Scalia was suffering from PMS plus PTSD

On whose broad shoulders do you think it fell to re-persuade the Chief?

The question answers itself

For a month I fought like hell

But enough was enough and K-E-Double-N just had to go for self

Can't help but remind myself of Hamlet in Act 4, Scene 5

I'm just a moderate nigga trying to keep his reputation alive

So tell your readers how on federalism A-K always stayed the same

And don't forget to block-quote my eloquent op in Alden v. Maine**

When it comes to this swing vote rap, I'm like Biggie and Shaq - You Can't Stop the Reign

Oh and Jan, Thomas wants me to ask if you're single 'cause he saw you changed your name

* http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7BDg-m3A4HU/T9YNsTYTnTI/AAAAAAAAAEM/LBQR8yqbdyg/s1600/Judge+Anthony+Kennedy+-+VFNtv+Blog.jpg

** "Kennedy also is strong on issues of federalism - and is remarkably consistent. His opinion in a 1999 case, Alden v. Maine, is considered one of the Court's finest in that area. Ruling that states were immune from private lawsuits in state courts, Kennedy wrote: "Sovereign immunity derives not from the Eleventh Amendment but from the federal structure of the original Constitution itself."" - Jan Crawford, http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-3460_162-57464549/roberts-switched-views-to-uphold-health-care-law/?pageNum=3&tag=contentMain;contentBody

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1982133&forum_id=2#21007206)