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Serious Question- Always attempt to kiss girl on first date?
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Date: November 13th, 2013 4:20 PM Author: wonderful charcoal yarmulke Background- I've been in a number of long-term relationships, and a larger number of casual short-term ones (hook-ups, if you will). However, I've never really "formally" dated people in the way of being set-up by friends, online dating, etc until very recently. What I'm trying to say is that, while I'm not socially awkward or particularly inexperienced, this type of dynamic is entirely new to me.
My question- should I always attempt to kiss a girl at the end of a first date (with someone I've never met before)? My m/o is to just kind of hang out, have fun, have a few drinks, then end night with a hug. Second date, that's when I begin making the physical moves. However, is that sending the wrong message? If you are on what is clearly a "date", should you at least go for kiss at the end? I don't want to imply a complete lack of romantic interest, though sometimes it feels a bit awkward/forced.
Thoughts? |
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Date: November 13th, 2013 4:28 PM Author: Razzle dilemma coldplay fan I'm sort of in the same boat as you, I feel like I've always ended up in relationships without actually dating. Now I'm 30 and single and while most dates go well things like this are tricky.
My general rule is to go for the kiss if the opportunity presents itself but don't force it. I just had a first date Monday that went well but I hugged her goodbye and she turned around immediately and there was no opportunity for a kiss. At first I thought this was intentional negging of me on her part but since then she has been texting me and is initiating another date so I don't think you should read too much into it. A lunch date with no alcohol is even trickier...I would plan on no kiss but go for it if the opportunity was there. |
Date: November 13th, 2013 4:20 PM Author: idiotic lascivious corn cake yes always. or kiss any chance of a second date goodbye (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2413040&forum_id=2#24431802) |
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Date: November 13th, 2013 4:23 PM Author: violet deep regret I had a first lunch date today, it didn't seem appropriate to kiss. We didn't drink alcohol and it was in a pretty busy restaurant.
How fucked? |
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Date: November 13th, 2013 4:25 PM Author: Red Toilet Seat yeha, i posted below that sometimes the circumstances just make it impossible. but you're self-pwn3d for scheduling a lunch 1st date in a busy restaurant -- no possibility to kiss there. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2413040&forum_id=2#24431839) |
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Date: November 13th, 2013 4:36 PM Author: arousing new version Much Harder to do on lunch dates, so not necessarily fucked. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2413040&forum_id=2#24431926) |
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Date: November 13th, 2013 4:24 PM Author: Red Toilet Seat i think you should almost always kiss on the first date, but it isn't the end of the world in all circumstances. i've eventually hooked up with girls i didn't kiss on the 1st date. some younger jewesses are prudish and i figured it'd be nbd to kiss on 2nd date. a couple of times the circumstances just weren't right to kiss her on a 1st date, due to seating arrangements / timing (and time of day) of people leaving. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2413040&forum_id=2#24431832) |
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Date: November 13th, 2013 4:30 PM Author: wonderful charcoal yarmulke OK, but generally speaking, if you are on a night date ("getting drinks") and walking a girl to a subway or her cab, if you have any interest at all in seeing a girl again you should kiss her?
are we talking an extended kiss or quick peck? or read her response? |
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Date: November 13th, 2013 4:34 PM Author: Razzle dilemma coldplay fan I say yes generally speaking. Going for the kiss shows you're interested and alpha enough to make a move.
As for length, again you have to read her. I think a short kiss, not a peck but not shoving your tongue down her throat either. As always, you want to leave her wanting more. |
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Date: November 13th, 2013 4:35 PM Author: Red Toilet Seat you probably should have tried to kiss her before that point. sometimes it's awkward to kiss at the very end -- what do you do, flag down the cab, and then try to kiss her while the cab driver is waiting and she's trying to get in the cab so he doesn't drive off? sometimes it's a crowded street and other people are around and it's weird too.
it should be more than a beta quick peck, but an actual manly peck. |
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Date: November 13th, 2013 4:45 PM Author: Dashing olive resort gaming laptop You're a faggot jew kike but kissing before the end is credited. My MO: kiss like 2/3 of the way through the date. At an unexpected time, but not quickly and unexpected, obviously. Move in slowly and deliberately, then kiss her.
My move is usually, while sitting by her at the bar/on the couch/whatever, say "is it okay if I do this" while simultaneously using your hand to direct her face in for the kiss. She's usually like "huh...ohhhhhhh." Then she smiles.
Completely removes tension from the last 1/3 of the date and makes a kiss at the end assured. And since you've already kissed earlier, she's already kinda used to it so it makes it much more likely that we'll do something sexual. |
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Date: November 13th, 2013 4:49 PM Author: stimulating crackhouse This is generally right but you shouldn't ask a girl if it's OK for you to kiss her. Better to assume the sale. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2413040&forum_id=2#24431996) |
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Date: November 13th, 2013 5:00 PM Author: Dashing olive resort gaming laptop Yeah I know I'm not actually asking but simultaneously going in for the kiss as I say it with more of an inflection as a statement. Other go to is to say "I'm just going to go for it" then smirk then kiss her. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2413040&forum_id=2#24432085) |
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Date: November 13th, 2013 4:51 PM Author: Red Toilet Seat this is all correct except most xo posters would make asking totally beta so not recommended.
if she dings you for a kiss in the bar, it makes for an awkward rest of the date! |
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Date: November 13th, 2013 4:58 PM Author: bearded rose dog poop unfortunately in today's world you also have to say "is it okay if I do this" while simultaneously fucking her and keep repeating it throughout fucking. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2413040&forum_id=2#24432062) |
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Date: November 14th, 2013 4:57 AM Author: Carmine milk almost never on the first unless she obviously wants you to. always try on the second. if you haven't by the end of the third she won't respect you as a man (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2413040&forum_id=2#24436280) |
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Date: November 20th, 2013 1:26 AM Author: wonderful charcoal yarmulke Interesting. This was what I was kind of thinking and had been my M.O., but then the overwhelming consensus from the board seemed to be go for it on the first. Now I wonder if the silent majority follows this.
Anyone? Bump? |
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Date: November 20th, 2013 1:31 AM Author: cerebral mediation tcr. only kissing on a first date i've ever been on is heavy making out back at my place. if not that or sex, just hang out, have fun, drink, hug/whatever and she will be texting you.
never been on a second OKC type-date with the same girl, so i can only go so far. |
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Date: December 21st, 2014 5:50 PM Author: Soul-stirring Nursing Home Place Of Business I usually don't. That is how you get herpes. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2413040&forum_id=2#26975944) |