*cuts tits off*

*uses highly invasive surgery to mangle vagina into a 'penis'*

"We'll see about that!"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2515266&forum_id=2#25169609)

(Daily Bruin Editor in Chief)

http://dailybruin.com/2013/04/10/communications-board-appoints-the-daily-bruins-incoming-editor-in-chief/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2515266&forum_id=2#25169510)

UCLA

http://www.linkedin.com/pub/jillian-beck/39/793/2ab

http://www.linkedin.com/pub/jillian-beck/39/793/2ab

http://www.zoominfo.com/p/Jillian-Beck/1718364157

Toy Boat store's finances adrift

Owners of the Corona del Mar landmark say they are having trouble paying the rent and if things do not change soon, they will need to close the toy shop.

July 25, 2012|By Jillian Beck

http://articles.dailypilot.com/2012-07-25/news/tn-dpt-0726-boat-20120725_1_toy-boat-corona-del-mar-diane-naumann

JILLIAN BECK UCLA

http://dailybruin.com/author/jbeck/

http://newsle.com/person/jillianbeck/80942249

JILLIAN BECK

UCLA

Diversity in schools is a strength

While I am glad the Daily Pilot has highlighted the issue of flight from Mesa Verde neighborhood schools, I don't think enough attention was given to the actual schools and their current and past students.

The only way to debunk stereotypes and myths is to explore the schools themselves rather than rehash claims made by people who simply perpetuate rumors. As an alumna of California Elementary, TeWinkle Intermediate School and Estancia High School, I have firsthand knowledge of the quality of our schools. I am now a sophomore at UCLA, and it is clear to me that Estancia prepared me well for college. I was challenged in my classes, including eight Advanced Placement, and nurtured by many outstanding teachers.

I was able to form lifelong friendships with people of all backgrounds. I was able to be involved in almost every part of the school community and play four years of varsity soccer and softball, something that would have been more difficult at a larger school.

The diversity of Estancia's student body is a strength, not a weakness. Being able to interact and form relationships with people from various walks of life is vital for a well-rounded education. No school is perfect, but Estancia was great for me and many others.

Jillian Beck

JILLIAN BECK UCLA

http://articles.dailypilot.com/2011-09-15/news/tn-dpt-0916-mailbag-20110915_1_costa-mesa-schools-nhhs-nmusd

JILLIAN BECK UCLA

DAILY BRUIN

JILLIAN BECK UCLA

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JILLIAN BECK UCLA

DAILY BRUIN

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2515266&forum_id=2#25170391)

http://anonboard.com/bbs/show_topic/965753

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2515266&forum_id=2#25173034)

http://encyclopediadramatica.es/AutoAdmit#The_LOLSuit

The LOLSuit

Did you hear that slut Brittan Heller of Yale Law got a 159 on the LSAT? Now you know.

Heide Iravani sued AutoAdmit for calling her "big titt'd" Defendants subpoenaed the green sweater to substantiate their Srsly defense.

While AutoAdmit posters have a lot in common with /b/tards, they unfortunately lack skill at MSPaint. Notice the poorly rendered CGWBT.

In 2007, Reputation Defender egged on two Yale women to sue AutoAdmit and several of its posters, claiming to have suffered extreme emotional distress as a result of cyberbullying. (Srsly). In an effort to shield their identities, the Yale girls' lawyers dubbed them Doe I and Doe II. (The girls' names (Brittan Heller and Heide Iravani) are now in the public domain--see Epilogue, below.)

Probably the only negative consequence of the LOLsuit was the chilling effect it had on the board: many established posters, now twenty-something attorneys, were afraid to be discovered frequenting a forum characterized by the media as racist, misogynist, etc. While the exodus of this particular group of people would have improved the overall atmosphere and lowered the virgin quotient of almost any other online community, AutoAdmit proved the exception. Remaining posters black person, confuse its and it's, and spend time editing grammar on ED.

Benefits (and hearty LOLs) of the LOLsuit included:

The LonelyVirgin Letters: The first 'Lonelyvirgin Letter' (March 2007), which was spammed to the entire fucking faculty of the Yale Law School, warned professors that Brittan Heller was a lying bitch and that Heide Iravani owned ponies bought with money pilfered from the World Bank. (Srsly.) The SECOND 'Lonelyvirgin Letter' (June 2007), again spammed to the entire faculty of YLS, floated theories as to why "the epitome of kikes," David N. Rosen, would represent Heide and Brittan: "My own pet theory is that Mr. Rosen has recently found two talented knob gobblers to take care of business for him, in exchange for "pro bono" work. I can't blame him for trying to exploit their predicament, but it seems like the risk of contracting herpes from Brittan Heller would convince any rational person to go to a prostitute first. As for Heide Iravani, who wants that litigious cunt holding a sexual harassment lawsuit over their head?"

A federal district court was forced to adjudicate claims against parties named :D, Dirty Nigger, and HitlerHiterHitler. (SRSLY.) It is widely speculated that current poster 8==D~~ created his moniker solely for the purpose of posting tortious content and, thus, increasing the odds that "8==D~~" will one day be named in a lawsuit.

The AK-47 Letter: On the brink of being outted in March 2008, defendant AK-47 sent a friendly letter to Iravani and Heller's attorneys, letting them know the subpoenas he planned to send if the litigation continued: "1) A subpoena for information pertaining to the size of Heide Iravani's breasts and whether such breasts, as alleged by one Defendant, are "fake" 2) Information pertaining to whether Brittan Heller or Heide Iravani are indeed "universally hated" by their peers 3) Information pertaining to whether Brittan Heller or Heide Iravani have any sexually transmitted diseases, including Herpes 4) Information pertaining to the law firms that interviewed Brittan Heller or Heide Iravani, and why such firms decided not to hire Brittan Heller and Heide Iravani 5) Information pertaining to whether Brittan Heller did indeed achieve a score of 159 on the LSAT 6) Information pertaining to Heide Iravani's religion - i.e., Islam - and information from any Muslim peers that may be able to shed any light on this case (this information may be a bit difficult to get, but local mosques would be a good place to send information requests or, if necessary, subpoenas)." Legal gossip blogs clucked their tongues at AK-47's legal strategery, but the Russian Gun's letter actually fucking WORKED: The plaintiffs' lawyers, realizing they were dealing with a batshit crazy opponent, immediately dropped their pursuit of AK-47, whose actual identity remains unknown to this day.

Brittan Heller is rumored to have learned NOT to blather in interviews about genocide, bloated bodies in open graves, feminazi shit, etc.

Heide Iravani is rumored to have stopped dressing like such a slut. While this is a downside for those posters desperate enough to have fapped to her, it is probably a good thing for retailer Forever 21 and for the Beijing platinum powerseller "Totarry Authentic Seven Jeans For Idiots": both merchants had begun to run low on inventory.

Plaintiffs' attorneys actually tried to serve notice by poasting on Autoadmit. Seriously:

AutoadmitSERVED.jpg

History is made!

Epilogue: The following year, AutoAdmit's Education Director spread lulz moar widely by COUNTERsuing Reputation Defender and the Yale bitches. (SRSLY.) It's rumored that this is why lying bitch Brittan Heller fled to Korea and then Afghanistan. Since Heller is sure to be Ding!fagged if she ever petitions the Character and Fitness boards for a law license, she's trying to begin a new career as a fuckup Foodie at thesuitcasechef.com with her faggoty husband, Nathaniel Gleicher.

Heide Iravani is rumored to be judgment-proofing the ponies procured by her father with stolen World Bank money (Srsly!)

On August 9, 2009, Autoadmit trolls cheered when their work was cited in the Weddings section of the New York Times. Srsly:

http://encyclopediadramatica.es/Reputation_Defender#.22Lying_Bitch.22_Brittan_Heller_.22Big_Tittied.22_Heide_M._Iravani

"Lying Bitch" Brittan Heller "Big Tittied" Heide M. Iravani

Oh yeah, she'd NEVER invite attention to her tits...

There's a face we can trust, r-i-i-ight

Backstory: Jesus, where you do start with THESE two (or three if the tits distract you)? Iravani and Heller retained Reputation Defender because of online posts they deemed damaging to their reputations. Iravani was smart enough to get into Yale, but too dumb to realize that if you wear boob-hugging outfits, people are gonna talk! Heller was upset that people had figured out she was a stupid bitch.

A job for R-r-r-r-r-r-r-eputation Defender-r-r-r-r-r! You know the drill: sleazy Michael Fertik wormed his way into Brittan K. Heller and Heide M. Iravani's good graces with a promise: let me pimp you out to some news networks, and I'll get those dastardly bad links nuked from the web!

Result: Can you say "boomerang"? The troll community at AutoAdmit was not pleased by the attention.

The blowback was vicious. AutoAdmit trolls dug up the fact that Heide Iravani's father, Kazem Iravani, was a convicted felon for embezzlement (and a fugitive from justice, to boot). One conscientious XO member, lonelyvirgin, decided a Public Service Announcement was in order; so he emailed the entire fucking staff at Yale Law School concerning the Iravani family secret:

Use scrollbar to see the full image

Lonelyvirgin-letter.jpg

The infamous "Lonelyvirgin Letter"

As for Heller, she fared a little better. No longer does the first page of her google-result blare that she's a STUPID BITCH. Instead, the first entry of her google-result only proclaims her a LYING BITCH. Good work, Reputation Defender!

It gets better: both Iravani and Heller were COUNTERsued in federal court for libel, slander and filing a frivolous lawsuit! As a result, lying cunt Brittan Heller fled to Korea (then Afghanistan) to dodge service on the suit! LULZ! Heller has since shifted tracks, becoming a fuckup foodie (in hiding) at thesuitcasechef.com

Oh, and Heide Iravani STILL has huge tits!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2515266&forum_id=2#25246456)

UCLA

http://www.linkedin.com/pub/jillian-beck/39/793/2ab

http://www.linkedin.com/pub/jillian-beck/39/793/2ab

http://www.zoominfo.com/p/Jillian-Beck/1718364157

Toy Boat store's finances adrift

Owners of the Corona del Mar landmark say they are having trouble paying the rent and if things do not change soon, they will need to close the toy shop.

July 25, 2012|By Jillian Beck

http://articles.dailypilot.com/2012-07-25/news/tn-dpt-0726-boat-20120725_1_toy-boat-corona-del-mar-diane-naumann

JILLIAN BECK UCLA

http://dailybruin.com/author/jbeck/

http://newsle.com/person/jillianbeck/80942249

JILLIAN BECK

UCLA

Diversity in schools is a strength

While I am glad the Daily Pilot has highlighted the issue of flight from Mesa Verde neighborhood schools, I don't think enough attention was given to the actual schools and their current and past students.

The only way to debunk stereotypes and myths is to explore the schools themselves rather than rehash claims made by people who simply perpetuate rumors. As an alumna of California Elementary, TeWinkle Intermediate School and Estancia High School, I have firsthand knowledge of the quality of our schools. I am now a sophomore at UCLA, and it is clear to me that Estancia prepared me well for college. I was challenged in my classes, including eight Advanced Placement, and nurtured by many outstanding teachers.

I was able to form lifelong friendships with people of all backgrounds. I was able to be involved in almost every part of the school community and play four years of varsity soccer and softball, something that would have been more difficult at a larger school.

The diversity of Estancia's student body is a strength, not a weakness. Being able to interact and form relationships with people from various walks of life is vital for a well-rounded education. No school is perfect, but Estancia was great for me and many others.

Jillian Beck

JILLIAN BECK UCLA

http://articles.dailypilot.com/2011-09-15/news/tn-dpt-0916-mailbag-20110915_1_costa-mesa-schools-nhhs-nmusd

JILLIAN BECK UCLA

DAILY BRUIN

JILLIAN BECK UCLA

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JILLIAN BECK UCLA

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JILLIAN BECK UCLA

DAILY BRUIN

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2515266&forum_id=2#25246478)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2515266&forum_id=2#25173048)

Yes, I said "all of 'man's' languages," not women's.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2515266&forum_id=2#25245712)