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I accidentally bought the "gay" fleshlight... FUCK MY LIFE
| Arrogant orchid kitchen private investor | 05/07/14 |
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: May 7th, 2014 12:47 AM Author: Arrogant orchid kitchen private investor I'd been doing research on the Tenga products and found a shop who's website claimed they would have them. Unforunatley they were out. I started looking at fleshlights but without much prior knowledge. I liked the price of the Sex in a Can line and was just browsing those. The lady that worked there started giving me the spiel about how popular Fleshlights are and whatnot and said the stamina control unit was the most popular after the original. I'm looking at the cans and they all have different textures and it was tough to figure it all out on the spot. They all had different openings too but I didn't care much about whether it looks like a pussy or an ass or a mouth - I want the one that feels best based on rubber things I rub on my dick. I played it safe, I thought, and went with the one with the mini-stamina control texture - most popular and presumably tighter... I ain't that big. Bonus was the opening was just a small hole, I thought, that didn't look like anything. No fake pussy or mouth, or fangs - fyi: some have fangs. But then I get home. Well, the first thing I did was use it once but during that I noticed that it did have that balloon knot look of an asshole but whatever. It felt fucking awesome. When I was done, and satisfied, I started googling the "Gape Soda NSFW" ( http://www.fleshjack.com/jacks-soda/ )I bought and absolutly everything turned up gay and I'm not super comfortable with that. Turns out I bought a Fleshjack - the gay Fleshlight. As much as the fake pussy versions are supposed to make you think pussy, this one is designed to be a dude's ass... that doesn't work for me. I'm trying to reconcile that it's just rubber and the same way I didn't need fake pussy lips means that I don't have to think of this thing as a dude's ass but it's not easy. I mean on one hand it's still the best tightness and texture for me, but I'll be penetrating a fake male butthole. I'm not having a crisis that using this makes me gay. No, I just want to enjoy my $50 toy and I can't escape the thought of it being a male butt, which I don't really want. I don't want to buy a pussy based unit but I might have to now because I like the feeling but I have trouble with it this way. I don't know... and I'm drunk now. |
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Date: September 22nd, 2015 6:41 PM Author: Rebellious Zippy Candlestick Maker whats their refund policy? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#28815809) |
Date: May 7th, 2014 12:50 AM Author: primrose background story pit Sounds like you're gay bro (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516806) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 12:52 AM Author: Arrogant orchid kitchen private investor fuk u bro this isn't funny (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516817) |
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Date: January 1st, 2023 11:42 PM Author: jet-lagged lilac home yarmulke (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#45728148) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 12:52 AM Author: Mentally impaired personal credit line tyft, would read again (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516816) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 12:55 AM Author: Arrogant orchid kitchen private investor You think this is bad? Here's why I had to toss my last one -- The pussy lips on the fleshlight were a little disfigured from when I dabbled in pyro fetish. I coated the entry to the fleshlight with lighter fluid and germx and set it on fire and fucked it. First of all, lighter fluid deteriorates the material and so do flames. The next problem I ran into was my thrusts forcing the globs of flaming germx to fly off of the fleshlight and nearly set my rug on fire. The last, and arguably most important problem with this is that you will burn your dick. If your thrusts don't put out the blaze in the first few pumps, you'll be left with a peeling dick for a week. Would not recommend. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516833) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:00 AM Author: Arrogant orchid kitchen private investor To be honest, I really don't know why I was even intrigued by it. I thought it would be fun to fuck a pussy that was on fire, but wouldn't want to risk hurting another person. I liked the idea of pulling out and cumming on the flames to put them out. The heat was too much so I thought maybe a condom would protect me for a few more seconds. It ended up burning right through the condom and giving me a nasty little burn on my shaft. After I burned myself, I stopped trying to fuck it while it was on fire but instead coated it in germx and had a lighter closeby. When I got close to climax I lit it up and shot my load but I was in too much pain for an impressive release. Also, I had to pour water on it and put ointment on my burns. It was one of those ideas that sounded a lot better in my head than in reality. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516853) |
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Date: May 11th, 2014 10:59 PM Author: Zombie-like Territorial Locale lmao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25544855) |
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Date: September 22nd, 2015 6:49 PM Author: Ivory Shitlib Chad 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#28815862) |
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Date: April 4th, 2016 9:52 PM Author: Coral cuckold .... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#30203016) |
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Date: September 28th, 2016 3:54 PM Author: sable embarrassed to the bone church building lmao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#31514328) |
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Date: September 28th, 2016 3:56 PM Author: Heady rehab (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#31514340) |
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Date: May 19th, 2017 11:52 PM Author: Rebellious Zippy Candlestick Maker I truly hope this isn't flame (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#33349208) |
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Date: November 20th, 2017 3:20 PM Author: Well-lubricated judgmental field lol @ a pyro fetish not being "flame" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#34733011) |
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Date: November 20th, 2017 3:18 PM Author: Amethyst cruel-hearted lay goal in life (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#34732992) |
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Date: November 20th, 2017 4:09 PM Author: Sienna Cowardly Chapel Alpha OUT the other ideas! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#34733438) |
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Date: January 1st, 2023 11:44 PM Author: jet-lagged lilac home yarmulke God's love has its limits. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#45728150) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 12:53 AM Author: Iridescent pervert whorehouse I just "want the one that feels best" lisped the totally straight bro. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516824) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 12:58 AM Author: Orange excitant reading party Jack's Gape Soda is the perfect pick-me-up for hung tops. You know how to work a bottom's hole to make entry as pleasurable as possible ... But we've done the work for you and this bottom is ready to play! Featuring a relaxed opening and the Stamina texture from Endurance Jack. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516844) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 12:59 AM Author: Crimson charismatic address what's gay about this (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516851) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:00 AM Author: Electric temple simmer down earl (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516859) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:00 AM Author: Orange excitant reading party is this from misc? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516863) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:02 AM Author: Arrogant orchid kitchen private investor if only :(((((((((((( (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516873) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:01 AM Author: indigo psychic You're a creepy, psychotic asshole on this board. Seems like you had it coming. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516864) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:01 AM Author: Arrogant orchid kitchen private investor I know man, I know. I've done a few other weird things too. You know those glowsticks that are really long that you can make into a loop and wear around your neck? I had a bunch of those a couple years back and i'd lubricate them and put them in my urethra. Then when I got good and hard, I'd bend my penis to activate the glowstick. It was really satisfying to hear the crack of the glowstick coming from my cock. It made me feel like I was breaking my dick in half but without actually harming myself. I stopped doing this after two events put a damper on the fun. Once I got overzealous and put the glowstick all the way in to where I couldnt see it anymore. It took a long time to coax out. The other time, the plastic had some imperfections and ended up slicing the inside of my penis a bit. It burned like a thousand suns when I peed for about a week. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516871) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:02 AM Author: Orange excitant reading party you peed for about a week? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516879) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:25 AM Author: Arrogant orchid kitchen private investor no it burnt for a week when i peed (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516986) |
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Date: September 22nd, 2015 6:50 PM Author: Ivory Shitlib Chad oh fuck lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#28815868) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:03 AM Author: fighting feces i think you put quotes around the wrong word (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516882) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:04 AM Author: Orange excitant reading party (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516886) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:19 AM Author: Beady-eyed Slippery School People Who Are Hurt ok i laughed (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516953) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:54 AM Author: bespoke stimulating meetinghouse son of senegal took me a second, but so did i (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25517103) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 4:06 PM Author: Beady-eyed Slippery School People Who Are Hurt not proud to admit it but it took me a sec too (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25519890) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:22 AM Author: Arrogant orchid kitchen private investor lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516964) |
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Date: November 20th, 2017 3:29 PM Author: Rebellious Zippy Candlestick Maker This is great (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#34733105) |
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Date: January 1st, 2023 11:44 PM Author: jet-lagged lilac home yarmulke (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#45728151) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:06 AM Author: smoky slimy newt circlehead So the lady at the store thought you were gay?
What do you look like, bro? |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:27 AM Author: Arrogant orchid kitchen private investor No i just picked it without really thinking about it. She probably assumed I was gay when I handed it to her to ring up though. There was nothing obviously gay on the packaging, it's just the online marketing that makes me go wtf (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516993) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:22 AM Author: Drab flickering round eye (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516967) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:28 AM Author: maroon medicated point multi-billionaire *slowly backs out of this thread* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25517001) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:33 AM Author: Arrogant orchid kitchen private investor cmon bro drop some insight (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25517030) |
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Date: January 1st, 2023 11:44 PM Author: jet-lagged lilac home yarmulke (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#45728152) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:44 AM Author: Arrogant orchid kitchen private investor thinking of buying this... thoughts? http://www.amazon.com/TLC-CyberSkin-Vibrating-Perfect-Natural/dp/B00187RE5I/ref=sr_1_1?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1399441427&sr=1-1&keywords=fleshlight |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:51 AM Author: gold corner double fault Reminder...THIS is the mental image the sex toy you are fucking is intended to evoke:
http://static.fleshjack.com/landing/jacks-soda/gape-gfx.jpg
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:52 AM Author: Arrogant orchid kitchen private investor fuck off man this isn't helping (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25517094) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 2:01 AM Author: gold corner double fault it doesn't turn you on thinking about pulling down those tight little purple briefs to reveal his twinkbottom as he lovingly gazes back at you with a shit-eating grin that bears mild to moderate features of mental retardation? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25517129) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 2:02 AM Author: adventurous flushed menage international law enforcement agency that's y u gay (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25517131) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 2:03 AM Author: Insecure lettuce sound barrier how is it gay? is it a butthole that comes with glued on hair? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25517133) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 2:09 AM Author: Arrogant orchid kitchen private investor did you click the link? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25517146) |
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Date: March 12th, 2015 9:05 PM Author: odious pozpig I don't understand why they make it like a soda can. Whats the appeal of that? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#27479325) |
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Date: March 12th, 2015 9:30 PM Author: Racy beta ladyboy When you leave it out people will assume the cheap plastic can of "gape soda" that reeks of semen is a delicious beverage and not something for jacking off (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#27479482) |
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