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scared of our adopted child
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Date: July 20th, 2014 8:52 PM Author: Soul-stirring State Sex Offender Ok- not quite. But holy shit. She's 1.5 and comes from a pretty brutal family. Either her birthmom or her birthfather killed her older sister at age 3. not enough for either to be criminally convicted- too much he said she said, but the minute our daughter was born, they took her from the fam. and we've had her basically since birth.
today mini schnauzer puppy like "attacked" our daughter with joy. i mean, was totally wild and puppy teeth and in her face and she got terrified. okay, that's normal.
what's not normal? her response was to scream and kick and hit the shit out of it. not cry or run away or cover her face. to beat the fucking puppy down.
(of course no real damage. we separated both soon and then she started bawling.)
but jesus fucking christ, we might be in trouble. also, she's 17 months old. |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 8:55 PM Author: Electric garnet piazza race? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971175) |
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Date: July 21st, 2014 1:43 AM Author: multi-colored mother school Why would you adopt? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25972767) |
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Date: July 21st, 2014 2:14 AM Author: anal bat-shit-crazy dopamine location If this kid was 100% white you wouldn't bat an eye. You also wouldn't bat an eye if she did this in response to an animatronic toy dog that scared her. In the last two years I've probably seen two dozen <18 month olds react with violence when scared by an animal, toy or child (granted some may have been <12 months and not really mobile, but still). You and your wife should chill the fuck out, but that's true of roughly 99% of educated first-time parents of kids who can't speak in complete sentences yet. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25972858) |
Date: July 20th, 2014 8:54 PM Author: irradiated messiness mexican Have you read the Chuck Palahniuk book, Pygmy?
It's relevant to your interests. |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 8:56 PM Author: filthy abode wrinkle What race is the child (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971178) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 8:57 PM Author: filthy abode wrinkle I literally cannot imagine a 1.5 month old child raised by a "normal" family responding in that manner. Your child is an ape. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971190) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:01 PM Author: Seedy Blood Rage Um, that is completely normal for a 1.5 year old child. Normal 1.5 year old children do a lot worse than that. Kids like to kill ants by the thousands, have screaming fits because they don't get the toy they like and attack other children over toys. This happens ALL THE TIME with perfectly normal children. Anyone who knows shit about kids would know this. OP's reaction is the most creepy thing about this incident. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971216) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:03 PM Author: filthy abode wrinkle You sound like a defensive nig. Sorry your kind is genetically disposed to violence. Also, killing ants and screaming fits are normal 1.5 yr old behavior - trying to attack a dog is not. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971234) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:06 PM Author: pale resort hominid Look, this is why you don't want some little yappy dog with a kid. If it was a big pit bull it would have properly corrected the child. Dats why black families have pit bulls, knowwhatimsayin? Dat chile didn't do nuffin. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971248) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:10 PM Author: Seedy Blood Rage There are no black people on xo, duh. No kids but I do have a much younger sister whom I spent a lot of time babysitting. Normal little children are on average perfectly horrible little psychopaths. Seriously, that's normal, they don't even develop a sense of empathy until much, much later. Little children are NOT nice. You have to teach them to be nice. And don't be surprised when it takes some work and effort. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971263) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:14 PM Author: filthy abode wrinkle Ok fine I am all for hoping this child grows up well adjusted, let's leave it at that (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971297) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 8:57 PM Author: Soul-stirring State Sex Offender she's mixed. half black/half white. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971193) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 8:58 PM Author: Out-of-control clown please tell me this is flame (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971195) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 8:58 PM Author: filthy abode wrinkle Ur fuct (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971198) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:02 PM Author: pale resort hominid LMAO. Silly shitlib. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971224) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:11 PM Author: Cerise Glittery Pisswyrm Haunted Graveyard what kind of warranty did you get on that thing? maybe you can return it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971268) |
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Date: July 21st, 2014 1:43 AM Author: multi-colored mother school Just drop it off at one of those fire stations. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25972769) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 8:58 PM Author: translucent hyperactive kitchen voyeur Welcome to the world of Reactive Attachment Syndrome.
And by the way, consider yourself lucky if she is even on speaking terms with you guys as an adult. |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:01 PM Author: Soul-stirring State Sex Offender nah- she has a health attachment. textbook even.
but this did come from somewhere deep. wasn't something she thought about. she just boom. reacted. and that was what was pretty unnerving. |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:03 PM Author: translucent hyperactive kitchen voyeur I see. I do hope this works but when you adopt them from a bad home it is such a huge gamble about how the attachment will ultimately turn out. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971228) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:04 PM Author: Out-of-control clown This almost sounds like not flame.
Why did you adopt? |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:09 PM Author: irradiated messiness mexican Lol, long story short I had an adopted brother. In his teen years my parents actually had to sue to get his complete file. He had a clean bill of health too if you ignored the calamitous parade of horribles that had been visited upon him and which was actively hidden by the state.
Just lol at diagnosing any kid at one year old. |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 8:59 PM Author: Seedy Blood Rage How are you scared of a 1.5 year old kid? What's wrong with you? It's your kid. Raise them right and it will be fine.
There's nothing that weird about her getting scared of a dog you just explain what happened (even though you think they cannot understand you just explain it anyway, sooner or later they will begin to understand and those memories will be there on some level). And don't be all "omg you attacked the puppy". Explain that the puppy loves her and it's ok that she misunderstood but remember the puppy loves you. |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:03 PM Author: Soul-stirring State Sex Offender you think we're assholes? of course we didn't say anything to her. just comforted her and locked wtf eyes over her head and talked about it later.
she's our daughter. we love her. and the thread title was to get people to click. but it is a highly violent, uncommon reaction and makes us wonder about what comes next. |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:05 PM Author: Seedy Blood Rage That's horrible. She's your daughter, you don't hide your reaction and then go talk behind her back that you're scared of her. Jesus, don't you know kids sense that? You're supposed to tell her that's a bad reaction and she should stop it and the dog loves her.
Goddamn fucking passive aggressive bullshit. When that kid grows up all fucked up, it really WILL be all your fault. |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:08 PM Author: Soul-stirring State Sex Offender you think you scold a child who was out of her mind terrorized?
that dog scared the shit out of her and she's 17 months old. the only thing to do is to comfort her. not to tell her what she did was wrong. "puppies love you sweetheart. we know you're crying too inconsolably to hear it. but they love you. don't hit the puppy. that's mean!"
and even if she were old enough and calm enough to understand, like i'm going to scold a child for something it's clear she had 0 control over. if she'd pissed herself in fear, should i have told her "honey, we don't do that. remember next time not to be afraid." this was her version of pissing herself in fear. it just wasn't a common one. so yes. we exchanged glances.
now i have no fucking respect for anything you say. |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:13 PM Author: Seedy Blood Rage Yeah if your kid runs out in front of a car you should probably just comfort her too. If she did something wrong you correct her. Otherwise she will not know it was wrong. Yes, you can comfort and correct at the same time. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971289) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:18 PM Author: Soul-stirring State Sex Offender you're gonna be parent of the year.
there's a difference between intentionally or thoughtlessly running out in front of a car.
and running out in front of a car because the 2 year old version of freddy kruger is chasing you.
you're a fucking asshole (and ineffectual) if you try correcting the second. |
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Date: July 21st, 2014 2:08 AM Author: anal bat-shit-crazy dopamine location LOL, OK teenaged college student. Make sure to scream at the baby when it's six months old and it spits up those whirled peas, too. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25972834) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:49 PM Author: Hairraiser impressive organic girlfriend forum "Raise them right and it will be fine."
nope. absolutely false empirically.
jfc libtards are mentally ill anti-science religious nuts. |
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Date: July 21st, 2014 6:06 PM Author: Hairraiser impressive organic girlfriend forum (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25976677) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:02 PM Author: Aphrodisiac shrine partner dude, if u got them before 2 and they end up being a fuck up, it is 100% YOUR FAULT....just remember that. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971226) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:05 PM Author: Out-of-control clown Have you and the op learned nothing from xo? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971242) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:12 PM Author: Aphrodisiac shrine partner very little (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971274) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:06 PM Author: Soul-stirring State Sex Offender that's not true. anyone can break a kid before 2. it's amazing how many ways you can destroy your child. fetal alcohol syndrome. shaken baby. failure to thrive.
that said? this would totally be us. we got a healthy, lovely infant girl, days old with no issues other than positive for marijuana (no, i'm not saying this is an issue).
we are stable, loving people though. and considering no tv, no spanking, no dv... i think it's possible she wasn't even exposed to violence before this. (though of course don't know for sure.) makes me reconsider the whole nature/nurture thing. |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 10:39 PM Author: Out-of-control clown I tried to warn you. I've posted about HBD and adoptions a lot here. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971814) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:04 PM Author: pale resort hominid I've really put some thought into this. After weighing the pros and cons and thinking about the attack from the dog and the retort from the kid I have come to a sad realization.
You have no choice. You have to put the kid to sleep. |
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Date: July 21st, 2014 1:46 AM Author: multi-colored mother school (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25972773) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:09 PM Author: maize box office You seem like a bad parent. Get rid of the dog. I don't get this business of having dogs around such little kids. When the kid is older (like 7 or 8) and demands a dog, then get her one then.
I would consider you an irresponsible parent. The ironic thing is that some government agency thought you good enough to adopt. |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:11 PM Author: pale resort hominid Nice flame. Out of those two the dog is likely the much better personality. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971266) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:11 PM Author: maize box office (normal white person) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971271) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:13 PM Author: pale resort hominid Pretty much. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971282) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:15 PM Author: maize box office Therefore, don't breed. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971298) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:15 PM Author: pale resort hominid ?
Not sure what your issue is but we breed the best fucking kids alive. The rest of you are basically living in the world we created. To the extent that we no longer have interest in breeding, it is because the other assholes around fuck up this gay earth. |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:11 PM Author: Soul-stirring State Sex Offender not our dog. we were visiting a family member. obviously stopping the 16 month old ball of fur and teeth would have been a smart thing to do.
we missed it. |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:13 PM Author: Jet fighting crackhouse nibblets Run this one on UrbanBaby, you'll get 500 responses (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971280) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:13 PM Author: trip crotch mad cow disease (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971283) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:13 PM Author: Cerise Glittery Pisswyrm Haunted Graveyard (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971286) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:17 PM Author: filthy abode wrinkle (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971313) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:20 PM Author: Soul-stirring State Sex Offender i don't know the site. helpful? racist? ridiculous advice?
look, i didnt' come here expecting a solution or commiseration or anything like that. we're not freaked, despite the thread title.
but i do think it's a legitimate wtf moment. and i wanted to wtf with my peeps. |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 10:29 PM Author: Marvelous macaca brilliant idea (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971748) |
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Date: July 21st, 2014 2:59 AM Author: Pink concupiscible hunting ground (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25973089) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:13 PM Author: sepia office if not flame, your "child" is an impregnable wild animal. it's a basic genetic condition. she's probably addicted to crack too (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971287) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:15 PM Author: Cerise Glittery Pisswyrm Haunted Graveyard (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971301) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 9:15 PM Author: pale resort hominid (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971303) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 10:24 PM Author: Ultramarine passionate knife tanning salon This is the flame we have to work with? Jfc (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971720) |
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Date: July 21st, 2014 1:55 AM Author: anal bat-shit-crazy dopamine location WTF? This is 1fucking80 race realist trolling. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25972792) |
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Date: July 20th, 2014 10:29 PM Author: Sable hospital liquid oxygen If not flame, try to shrug it off, pretend it didn't happen, and keep reprogramming her like you have. Will probably be fine shortly. You have the right approach. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25971754) |
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Date: July 21st, 2014 1:34 AM Author: Out-of-control clown (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25972750) |
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Date: July 21st, 2014 1:58 AM Author: ocher stirring business firm The heritability of IQ and predilection to violence are high. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25972799) |
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Date: July 21st, 2014 2:02 AM Author: anal bat-shit-crazy dopamine location We have friends who adopted--fucking can't type this without stopping to laugh for like two mintues--a Juggalo spawn. The kid is the best anecdata for nature/nurture you could ever see. Clearly not a supergenius, but a committed set of parents with high IQs and he went from weird and clearly somewhat off toddler (late milestones, they worried about spectrum issues for a while there) to super awesome, bright, inquisitive four year old. It genuinely brightens my day every time I hang out with them and think about how that kid's life would've been if he'd stayed with his biological parents. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25972813) |
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Date: July 21st, 2014 3:13 AM Author: multi-colored mother school My vague recollection of the twins studies is that parenting has almost no effect on how the child ends up as an adult. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25973134) |
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Date: July 21st, 2014 3:26 AM Author: trip crotch mad cow disease I think you're talking about adoption studies, and that's pretty much true. I mean, parenting does affect outcomes, but if you're looking specifically at IQ, the effect is small, and if you're looking specifically at correlations with the IQs of the adoptive parents rather than other aspects of their parenting, the effect is smaller still. there's a big adoptive effect on IQ in childhood, but it diminishes over time.
I think the juggalo-spawn kid will probably turn out pretty well as an adult (especially in more malleable traits), but if he ends up with a high IQ you can conclude that his birth parents had better genes than you might have assumed. makes me think of this post a guy here made a few weeks ago that stuck with me:
http://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2607618&forum_id=2#25849989
and for what it's worth, twin studies often show a bigger environmental effect on IQ than adoption studies do. identical twins reared apart show a significantly lower correlation in IQ than identical twins reared together, which implicates an environmental effect. |
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Date: July 21st, 2014 3:49 AM Author: Out-of-control clown To be fair, the average juggalo is probably not far off from the average white, and some juggalos are above average.
Meanwhile, the op is talking about a half-black kid with a murderous parent. |
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Date: July 21st, 2014 4:18 AM Author: anal bat-shit-crazy dopamine location Pretty sure the juggalo biodad had bodies on him. He definitely had a long sheet of violent crimes. And the mom was Mexican. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25973240) |
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Date: July 21st, 2014 5:47 AM Author: Out-of-control clown Sounds like the kid you know may not be that different from the op then.
To be fair, differences (interracial and intraracial) aren't as noticeable in young children.
http://abagond.wordpress.com/2012/02/28/black-people-according-to-the-1911-britannica/
intelligence: “the mental inferiority of the negro to the white or yellow races is a fact”. Black children were “sharp, intelligent and full of vivacity, but on approaching the adult period a gradual change set in. The intellect seemed to become clouded, animation giving place to a sort of lethargy, briskness yielding to indolence.”
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Date: July 21st, 2014 5:08 AM Author: White curious deer antler I kinda know the feeling. My son is two, almost three, and I hope he's just going through a phase with flipping the fuck out right now, but he gets really violent when he's angry to the point where I found myself wondering recently "at what point do you know you're raising a bad seed?" Like, is this the start of something that ends with me on tv saying "he didn't do nuffin!"? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25973272) |
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Date: July 21st, 2014 5:59 AM Author: Startling carmine brunch (Dexter Morgan's dad) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25973315) |
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Date: July 21st, 2014 3:38 PM Author: Out-of-control clown (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25975527) |
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Date: July 21st, 2014 6:27 PM Author: Honey-headed Big Place Of Business Really Tough Guy in this thread you have a lib mad that his daughter didn't just sit there and let puppydood kill her. Id be proud of my daughter, it would let me know she had some backbone. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2623969&forum_id=2#25976792) |