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Having one kid vs multiple kids - PROS >>>>>>>>>> CONS
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 8:05 AM Author: Azure pit *********PROS********* - Huge cash savings (house size, food/expenses, education, travel/holidays) - Lower time commitment - Maximizes achievement of the child - Studies show one-child parents are happiest - Forego later born children who would have higher risk of genetic defects/autism etc. - Child more independent, self-reliant - Not bringing multiple kids into this fucked up gay simulation earth that we live in
*********CONS********* - Kid more likely to be aspie/introverted/weird/lonely - Kid more likely to be self-centered/spoiled/selfish - "Social pressure" to have multiple kids
*********The cons can be mitigated pretty easily:********* 1. Throw the kid into activities, sports, camps, etc. 2. Don't spoil the kid; enforce discipline/standards/chores 3. Tell other people to fuck off |
Date: March 2nd, 2015 8:06 AM Author: Azure pit This is just for people who want to have kid(s). For those who don't want kids at all, I can feel that and have no beef with you bros. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415343) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 8:11 AM Author: bronze piazza OP, there's no social pressure to have more kids. Social pressure from whom? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415350) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 8:23 AM Author: lilac trip theater I just had one and people at work are already telling me how great it is to have two, and surely I'm not going to have an only child? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415380) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 8:37 AM Author: bronze piazza Next time the make a comment ask them "Oh...are you helping pay for the second one?" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415405) |
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Date: March 1st, 2020 11:04 AM Author: Aphrodisiac dun skinny woman corner they are jealous and are lying to you (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#39676542) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 8:22 AM Author: lilac trip theater We have a two month old and Im 100% sure we aren't doing this again. I can't imagine taking care of an infant with a toddler around, and we have no family around to help. Plus all the money savings. It's a no-brainer. Honestly this shit sucks ass at this stage and we probably made a mistake having even one. Lol at us. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415376) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 8:48 AM Author: big associate You can't judge at two months when you're still in the trenches. Wait a year or two and then talk about it. It'll feel different then when you're actually discussing being done for good and the reality of that.
Watching my kids bond and form a relationship is the most 180 part. They play together, entertain each other, and learn a lot from each other. Conflict resolution, thinking of someone else's feelings, sharing, they learn it all from each other (with some parental nudging). It's always going to be stressful when they're really young, but you have to think of it as an up front investment. |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 8:56 AM Author: rusted cracking mother Last paragraph is spot on and a completely damning rebuttal to the one-kid-only folks. The only reason to have only one kid is if your wife can't physically bear any more children. Kids can learn a lot of that stuff from being properly socialized, but there's nothing like having to be confronted with that reality every single hour of every day by virtue of having a sibling. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415458) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 9:21 AM Author: bespoke disgusting space 180, you're such a good poster apart from global warming lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415569) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 9:26 AM Author: big associate Lol thanks I guess. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415605) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:07 PM Author: Yellow soul-stirring ticket booth scourge upon the earth It's great when it works out.
My brother and I hated each other and basically still do. It wasn't so cute I'm sure. |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:11 PM Author: big associate Everything's a gamble. And it def sucks when it doesn't work out. Right now they're peas in a pod so I'll enjoy that as long as I can.
What happened with you guys? |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:32 PM Author: Yellow soul-stirring ticket booth scourge upon the earth We are both assholes, I guess. I think he has some form of mild aspergers. Anyway, there was a peas in a pod stage back when I was an infant, but since we were old enough to talk it has not been pretty. My parents were pretty useless as well. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418440) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 11:28 PM Author: big associate Sorry, that sucks :-/ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27420318) |
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Date: November 7th, 2016 8:02 PM Author: Yellow soul-stirring ticket booth scourge upon the earth lol i love going to old threads, not realizing they are old and then almost posting the same damn thing a second time (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#31827323) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 11:35 PM Author: Insanely Creepy Prole Set Cot damn right in the feels (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27420360) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:10 PM Author: Yellow soul-stirring ticket booth scourge upon the earth Sounds awful. Wife desperately wants a kid. I'm so fucked. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418326) |
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Date: November 7th, 2016 8:03 PM Author: Yellow soul-stirring ticket booth scourge upon the earth 18 months later, our 4 month old is on the floor sleeping and he is cute as fuck. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#31827330) |
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Date: March 1st, 2020 10:40 AM Author: Yellow soul-stirring ticket booth scourge upon the earth Two kids now playfully wrestling on the floor. The younger one usually resorts to biting.
Lol at this thread |
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Date: March 1st, 2020 12:02 PM Author: House-broken umber crackhouse blood rage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#39676823) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 8:24 AM Author: bespoke disgusting space all of these would apply for zero versus one also, right? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415381) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 5:13 PM Author: Azure pit Read the second post. Some people feel a deep NEED to reproduce. The OP is for those people. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418011) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 5:15 PM Author: bespoke disgusting space and some people feel a deep NEED to reproduce multiple times (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418028) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 5:17 PM Author: Azure pit Dude there is a stark difference between zero vs one and one vs more than one (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418044) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 5:19 PM Author: bespoke disgusting space how so?
you're basically saying that it's completely likely that some people feel a deep-seated desire to have ONE OR MORE CHILD, and therefore a cost-benefit analysis isn't appropriate for their circumstance; but that nobody would reasonably feel a deep-seated desire to CONTINUE REPRODUCING, or to have a "brood" or a "large family" or so on, and therefore a cost-benefit analysis is always appropriate to decide between one kid and more than one kid
this is just a completely inconsistent way to look at it |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:40 PM Author: Azure pit No I'm really saying that a different cost/benefit analysis applies because the difference between a life with no kids and a life with one or more kids is MUCH more stark than the difference between a life with one kid and a life with two or more kids.
I totally get that some people don't want any kids - but it's a different set of pros and cons (obviously with some overlap). |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 8:42 AM Author: rusted cracking mother Everybody needs a buddy. 2 kids is probably credited. No one understands the nature of your own specific weird family other than your siblings. I don't buy that only children end up weird/aspie or spoiled/snotty/self centered.
But there's a loneliness there, which I think comes from not having a similarly aged sibling growing up. Only children don't have anyone else that they can relate to on that fundamental level.
There's no guarantee that you'll get along with your sibling as an adult, but having a sibling is much more credited from the kid's standpoint. Having only one kid only benefits the parents.
If you can't afford to have 2 kids, don't have any kids. |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 9:16 AM Author: bronze piazza That's what friends are for. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415536) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 9:17 AM Author: rusted cracking mother Friends will never understand the unique weirdness of your own family. Being an only child is like being from a nation of one. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415541) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 9:18 AM Author: bronze piazza I have a brother and I'm closer with my friends than I am with him. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415548) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 9:20 AM Author: rusted cracking mother What I'm saying is that only children will never know what having a sibling is like. Some people will end up growing apart from their siblings throughout adulthood. But some people point to their sibling as their best friend.
Only children are completely deprived of that chance. |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 9:18 AM Author: Olive Frozen Kitchen The main pro of multiple kids which hasn't been mentioned yet is that it mitigates your risk. If your one kid dies in an accident, gets a disease, gets addicted to drugs, or fucks up in some other way, you = done here. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415550) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 9:20 AM Author: bronze piazza http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-twin-brothers-murder-robbery-stabbing-20150128-story.html (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415560) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 9:21 AM Author: Olive Frozen Kitchen *low iq shtick* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415571) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 5:16 PM Author: Azure pit I think you have to roll the dice with this shit - it's all pretty low probability. Logically it has a double/triple/etc. chance of happening with each kid you have and would still devastate you even if you had other surviving kids. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418030) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:24 PM Author: Domesticated coral point new version Or what if you just don't get along? I imagine it is much worse to put in the effort to raise a great kid and turn out to just hate each other than to have no kids at all. Having 2+ kids reduces the chances that your efforts will be a waste. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418396) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 9:20 AM Author: bronze piazza http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-twin-brothers-murder-robbery-stabbing-20150128-story.html (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415563) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 5:18 PM Author: crawly passionate stage man i wish i had a twin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418048) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 9:27 AM Author: Turquoise Resort Corn Cake i was set on only having 1 for a lot of the reasons you listed. ended up with boy/girl twins. twins are the way to go (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415617) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 5:21 PM Author: provocative know-it-all legend ITT: guy who has never kissed a woman giving his expert opinion on raising children. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418070) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 5:23 PM Author: appetizing electric furnace Kids are not expensive (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418079) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 5:24 PM Author: provocative know-it-all legend especially after you already have one (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418087) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 5:39 PM Author: Ruddy dashing public bath chad Daycare is and private school is and college is. Other than that, they are cheap. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418159) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:22 PM Author: fiercely-loyal henna base agreed...just get hand me downs from their cousins and send them to public school and cook them macaroni and cheese and send them to ymca summer camp (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418385) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:33 PM Author: appetizing electric furnace have your wife stay at home.
private school is unnecessary if you live in a non-nig neighborhood.
your kids should all get full-rides to college. no excuse |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:34 PM Author: Yellow soul-stirring ticket booth scourge upon the earth But when Cristina desparately wants to go to Tufts because all her friends are going to be in boston... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418456) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:35 PM Author: appetizing electric furnace won't happen with my kids because they won't even know what Tufts is (because they aren't going to go to private schools). they will want to go to the BigStateU schools that all their friends are going to (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418461) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:40 PM Author: Yellow soul-stirring ticket booth scourge upon the earth bro USNEWS&WORLDR#PORTPWN4G# is in your future (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418482) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:52 PM Author: appetizing electric furnace bro, my kids are white, not azn (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418533) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:59 PM Author: rusted cracking mother I think there's kind of a happy medium to be drawn. My attitude is to expose the kid to a lot of different choices and teach him or her the pros and cons of each.
Big State U isn't sexy or close to home, but it's going to be cheap (or free) and you still can do the honors program there and get a solid undergraduate education and probably have some fun.
Smaller private schools are more expensive, but sometimes a kid might get lost in the cracks at a large, public university and a private school could have a specialty major.
Let the kid visit a ton of colleges and pick. Parents have veto power. If the kid wants to go to Plymouth State over Duke, exercise parental veto. |
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Date: March 1st, 2020 11:24 AM Author: crawly passionate stage thats what a wife is for (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#39676649) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:00 PM Author: Domesticated coral point new version Depends on who you are. Do you live in public housing and just don't care what happens to the little bastard? Then yeah, they will cost pretty much nothing. But if you actually care and want them to be successful then they will be massively expensive. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418273) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:07 PM Author: provocative know-it-all legend you and your wife could literally be the richest people on earth and your kids would turn out worse than two normal people (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418307) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:10 PM Author: Yellow soul-stirring ticket booth scourge upon the earth Literally LOLed in the office (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418320) |
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Date: March 1st, 2020 11:21 AM Author: Yellow soul-stirring ticket booth scourge upon the earth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#39676636) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:10 PM Author: bespoke disgusting space lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418323) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:11 PM Author: Domesticated coral point new version I seriously doubt that. Unless you consider typical strivers the worst possible people on earth. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418329) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:17 PM Author: bespoke disgusting space well... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418357) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:20 PM Author: Domesticated coral point new version How bad can we be? I'm posting from a ski resort in Colorado. That makes me a potential cool dad, right? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418373) |
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Date: November 7th, 2016 8:15 PM Author: Soggy Hall Milk Only the coolest dads spend their vacations posting on xo. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#31827417) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:34 PM Author: appetizing electric furnace cr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418457) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 11:27 PM Author: misanthropic athletic conference range (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27420312) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 5:57 PM Author: Domesticated coral point new version I'll start by saying that I don't expect to have any kids and the world is probably better off for my decision.
That said, I really see one kid as the worst of all worlds. The lifestyle change, money, etc. are mainly absorbed at the first kid. Now, imagine your first kid sucks. I'm sure we know millions of examples of this. Like the kids from normal families that grow up and join the Taliban or ISIS or are just raging assholes. Or you just don't get along and they grow up to be a huge loser. Now you turned your world upside down for what? So either 0 or 2-3 seems ideal. |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:13 PM Author: Pink French University I can't believe this, but I agree. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418337) |
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Date: March 1st, 2020 10:35 AM Author: Out-of-control fishy voyeur business firm Aren’t you trolling for one kid now? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#39676446) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:14 PM Author: curious adulterous parlor the #1 reason to have at least two is the law of averages getting at least one kid who isn't a fuckup is more likely if you have more than one kid |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:21 PM Author: Unhinged Mustard Death Wish Locus My tentative view is that the pros of 2+ kids massively outweigh the cons. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418380) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:26 PM Author: Smoky razzmatazz shrine ape 3 kids or bust niggas
I want me a brood |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:28 PM Author: bespoke disgusting space cr! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418415) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:32 PM Author: Yellow soul-stirring ticket booth scourge upon the earth In MFH 3 is the prestige number. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418443) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:33 PM Author: Pink French University DAT THREE BED APARTMENT (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418449) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 11:39 PM Author: Insanely Creepy Prole Set YNY (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27420387) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:42 PM Author: Azure pit OP here: should have clarified that if I have massive cash I'll have two kids rather than one - because one of the main one kid pros is nullified. But that's a big if. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418489) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 11:27 PM Author: misanthropic athletic conference range Only children turn out to be terrible people (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27420313) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 11:32 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle brass reading party lodge There is a book on this topic by Bryan Caplan that is a decent read called "Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27420338) |
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Date: November 7th, 2016 7:51 PM Author: aggressive french chef (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#31827226) |
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Date: November 7th, 2016 7:56 PM Author: Comical office messiness Having multiple kids in insurance. If you only have one and hey die in an accident or die to illness, you'll be crushed by maddening sorrow for the rest of your life. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#31827270) |
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Date: November 7th, 2016 8:10 PM Author: Soggy Hall Milk Going from 1 to 2 has been more life altering than going from 0 to 1.
You basically have no time for yourself. |
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Date: November 7th, 2016 8:27 PM Author: beta lay laser beams This. That's my fear wrt to another. We can manage with one, quite easily actually, after the newborn phase. It's easy to switch off on weekends and each go work out or do our things. Also I got a super easy first kid. Sleeps and eats like clockwork. Goes to bed at 7 and sleeps11-12 hours straight through. I never experienced the sleep deprivation that some do. Always got 3-4 hours chunks of sleep even in the worst times. I'm sure nobody gets lucky twice and I will have a colicky nightmare next in addition to a crazy toddler. That said, I think I'd be sad when I'm 50+ if I didn't have another...our family still feels incomplete. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#31827499) |
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Date: March 1st, 2020 10:53 AM Author: Charismatic Indirect Expression One kid seems sad and they will have no family support in the world once you are gone. I really like having my sister around. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#39676498) |
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Date: March 1st, 2020 11:03 AM Author: erotic brindle bbw black woman I didn't read any of this thread but will pontificate anyway. Have as many as you can possibly have if you think you have what it takes to be good parents and love your spouse/won't divorce. If you have a shaky or weird marriage or don't really want them, don't bother.
I'm going on 5 kids and even the 4 I have are pretty different from each other (surprisingly so, my wife and I are only children so we have no real good frame of reference). The variation will hopefully be good over the long term if I am thinking dynastically. Yes, I am the father and it's the same mother too. |
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Date: March 1st, 2020 11:17 AM Author: vermilion school cafeteria Kids are cheap, have as many as your wife's uterus can bear (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#39676620) |
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Date: March 1st, 2020 11:22 AM Author: crawly passionate stage if money ever is a factor when deciding about children then u should be euthanized (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#39676639) |