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Having one kid vs multiple kids - PROS >>>>>>>>>> CONS
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 8:05 AM Author: Lavender adulterous jap *********PROS********* - Huge cash savings (house size, food/expenses, education, travel/holidays) - Lower time commitment - Maximizes achievement of the child - Studies show one-child parents are happiest - Forego later born children who would have higher risk of genetic defects/autism etc. - Child more independent, self-reliant - Not bringing multiple kids into this fucked up gay simulation earth that we live in
*********CONS********* - Kid more likely to be aspie/introverted/weird/lonely - Kid more likely to be self-centered/spoiled/selfish - "Social pressure" to have multiple kids
*********The cons can be mitigated pretty easily:********* 1. Throw the kid into activities, sports, camps, etc. 2. Don't spoil the kid; enforce discipline/standards/chores 3. Tell other people to fuck off |
Date: March 2nd, 2015 8:06 AM Author: Lavender adulterous jap This is just for people who want to have kid(s). For those who don't want kids at all, I can feel that and have no beef with you bros. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415343) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 8:11 AM Author: drab adventurous dilemma circlehead OP, there's no social pressure to have more kids. Social pressure from whom? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415350) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 8:23 AM Author: misunderstood church legend I just had one and people at work are already telling me how great it is to have two, and surely I'm not going to have an only child? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415380) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 8:37 AM Author: drab adventurous dilemma circlehead Next time the make a comment ask them "Oh...are you helping pay for the second one?" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415405) |
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Date: March 1st, 2020 11:04 AM Author: Charcoal school sound barrier they are jealous and are lying to you (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#39676542) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 8:22 AM Author: misunderstood church legend We have a two month old and Im 100% sure we aren't doing this again. I can't imagine taking care of an infant with a toddler around, and we have no family around to help. Plus all the money savings. It's a no-brainer. Honestly this shit sucks ass at this stage and we probably made a mistake having even one. Lol at us. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415376) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 8:48 AM Author: comical nursing home You can't judge at two months when you're still in the trenches. Wait a year or two and then talk about it. It'll feel different then when you're actually discussing being done for good and the reality of that.
Watching my kids bond and form a relationship is the most 180 part. They play together, entertain each other, and learn a lot from each other. Conflict resolution, thinking of someone else's feelings, sharing, they learn it all from each other (with some parental nudging). It's always going to be stressful when they're really young, but you have to think of it as an up front investment. |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 8:56 AM Author: dull menage multi-billionaire Last paragraph is spot on and a completely damning rebuttal to the one-kid-only folks. The only reason to have only one kid is if your wife can't physically bear any more children. Kids can learn a lot of that stuff from being properly socialized, but there's nothing like having to be confronted with that reality every single hour of every day by virtue of having a sibling. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415458) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 9:21 AM Author: Well-lubricated rambunctious stock car rehab 180, you're such a good poster apart from global warming lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415569) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 9:26 AM Author: comical nursing home Lol thanks I guess. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415605) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:07 PM Author: Medicated boyish gas station It's great when it works out.
My brother and I hated each other and basically still do. It wasn't so cute I'm sure. |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:11 PM Author: comical nursing home Everything's a gamble. And it def sucks when it doesn't work out. Right now they're peas in a pod so I'll enjoy that as long as I can.
What happened with you guys? |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:32 PM Author: Medicated boyish gas station We are both assholes, I guess. I think he has some form of mild aspergers. Anyway, there was a peas in a pod stage back when I was an infant, but since we were old enough to talk it has not been pretty. My parents were pretty useless as well. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418440) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 11:28 PM Author: comical nursing home Sorry, that sucks :-/ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27420318) |
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Date: November 7th, 2016 8:02 PM Author: Medicated boyish gas station lol i love going to old threads, not realizing they are old and then almost posting the same damn thing a second time (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#31827323) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 11:35 PM Author: Ruby cowardly hunting ground mother Cot damn right in the feels (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27420360) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:10 PM Author: Medicated boyish gas station Sounds awful. Wife desperately wants a kid. I'm so fucked. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418326) |
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Date: November 7th, 2016 8:03 PM Author: Medicated boyish gas station 18 months later, our 4 month old is on the floor sleeping and he is cute as fuck. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#31827330) |
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Date: March 1st, 2020 10:40 AM Author: Medicated boyish gas station Two kids now playfully wrestling on the floor. The younger one usually resorts to biting.
Lol at this thread |
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Date: March 1st, 2020 12:02 PM Author: aquamarine floppy theatre quadroon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#39676823) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 8:24 AM Author: Well-lubricated rambunctious stock car rehab all of these would apply for zero versus one also, right? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415381) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 5:13 PM Author: Lavender adulterous jap Read the second post. Some people feel a deep NEED to reproduce. The OP is for those people. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418011) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 5:15 PM Author: Well-lubricated rambunctious stock car rehab and some people feel a deep NEED to reproduce multiple times (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418028) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 5:17 PM Author: Lavender adulterous jap Dude there is a stark difference between zero vs one and one vs more than one (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418044) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 5:19 PM Author: Well-lubricated rambunctious stock car rehab how so?
you're basically saying that it's completely likely that some people feel a deep-seated desire to have ONE OR MORE CHILD, and therefore a cost-benefit analysis isn't appropriate for their circumstance; but that nobody would reasonably feel a deep-seated desire to CONTINUE REPRODUCING, or to have a "brood" or a "large family" or so on, and therefore a cost-benefit analysis is always appropriate to decide between one kid and more than one kid
this is just a completely inconsistent way to look at it |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:40 PM Author: Lavender adulterous jap No I'm really saying that a different cost/benefit analysis applies because the difference between a life with no kids and a life with one or more kids is MUCH more stark than the difference between a life with one kid and a life with two or more kids.
I totally get that some people don't want any kids - but it's a different set of pros and cons (obviously with some overlap). |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 8:42 AM Author: dull menage multi-billionaire Everybody needs a buddy. 2 kids is probably credited. No one understands the nature of your own specific weird family other than your siblings. I don't buy that only children end up weird/aspie or spoiled/snotty/self centered.
But there's a loneliness there, which I think comes from not having a similarly aged sibling growing up. Only children don't have anyone else that they can relate to on that fundamental level.
There's no guarantee that you'll get along with your sibling as an adult, but having a sibling is much more credited from the kid's standpoint. Having only one kid only benefits the parents.
If you can't afford to have 2 kids, don't have any kids. |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 9:16 AM Author: drab adventurous dilemma circlehead That's what friends are for. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415536) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 9:17 AM Author: dull menage multi-billionaire Friends will never understand the unique weirdness of your own family. Being an only child is like being from a nation of one. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415541) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 9:18 AM Author: drab adventurous dilemma circlehead I have a brother and I'm closer with my friends than I am with him. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415548) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 9:20 AM Author: dull menage multi-billionaire What I'm saying is that only children will never know what having a sibling is like. Some people will end up growing apart from their siblings throughout adulthood. But some people point to their sibling as their best friend.
Only children are completely deprived of that chance. |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 9:18 AM Author: Laughsome Garnet Idea He Suggested Puppy The main pro of multiple kids which hasn't been mentioned yet is that it mitigates your risk. If your one kid dies in an accident, gets a disease, gets addicted to drugs, or fucks up in some other way, you = done here. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415550) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 9:20 AM Author: drab adventurous dilemma circlehead http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-twin-brothers-murder-robbery-stabbing-20150128-story.html (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415560) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 9:21 AM Author: Laughsome Garnet Idea He Suggested Puppy *low iq shtick* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415571) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 5:16 PM Author: Lavender adulterous jap I think you have to roll the dice with this shit - it's all pretty low probability. Logically it has a double/triple/etc. chance of happening with each kid you have and would still devastate you even if you had other surviving kids. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418030) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:24 PM Author: mind-boggling dopamine french chef Or what if you just don't get along? I imagine it is much worse to put in the effort to raise a great kid and turn out to just hate each other than to have no kids at all. Having 2+ kids reduces the chances that your efforts will be a waste. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418396) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 9:20 AM Author: drab adventurous dilemma circlehead http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-twin-brothers-murder-robbery-stabbing-20150128-story.html (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415563) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 5:18 PM Author: cobalt tattoo state man i wish i had a twin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418048) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 9:27 AM Author: Aphrodisiac infuriating point i was set on only having 1 for a lot of the reasons you listed. ended up with boy/girl twins. twins are the way to go (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27415617) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 5:21 PM Author: hairraiser sticky indian lodge deer antler ITT: guy who has never kissed a woman giving his expert opinion on raising children. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418070) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 5:23 PM Author: passionate flesh orchestra pit Kids are not expensive (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418079) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 5:24 PM Author: hairraiser sticky indian lodge deer antler especially after you already have one (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418087) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 5:39 PM Author: Hyperventilating stimulating nibblets mad cow disease Daycare is and private school is and college is. Other than that, they are cheap. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418159) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:22 PM Author: know-it-all aromatic lay fat ankles agreed...just get hand me downs from their cousins and send them to public school and cook them macaroni and cheese and send them to ymca summer camp (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418385) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:33 PM Author: passionate flesh orchestra pit have your wife stay at home.
private school is unnecessary if you live in a non-nig neighborhood.
your kids should all get full-rides to college. no excuse |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:34 PM Author: Medicated boyish gas station But when Cristina desparately wants to go to Tufts because all her friends are going to be in boston... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418456) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:35 PM Author: passionate flesh orchestra pit won't happen with my kids because they won't even know what Tufts is (because they aren't going to go to private schools). they will want to go to the BigStateU schools that all their friends are going to (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418461) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:40 PM Author: Medicated boyish gas station bro USNEWS&WORLDR#PORTPWN4G# is in your future (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418482) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:52 PM Author: passionate flesh orchestra pit bro, my kids are white, not azn (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418533) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:59 PM Author: dull menage multi-billionaire I think there's kind of a happy medium to be drawn. My attitude is to expose the kid to a lot of different choices and teach him or her the pros and cons of each.
Big State U isn't sexy or close to home, but it's going to be cheap (or free) and you still can do the honors program there and get a solid undergraduate education and probably have some fun.
Smaller private schools are more expensive, but sometimes a kid might get lost in the cracks at a large, public university and a private school could have a specialty major.
Let the kid visit a ton of colleges and pick. Parents have veto power. If the kid wants to go to Plymouth State over Duke, exercise parental veto. |
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Date: March 1st, 2020 11:24 AM Author: cobalt tattoo state thats what a wife is for (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#39676649) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:00 PM Author: mind-boggling dopamine french chef Depends on who you are. Do you live in public housing and just don't care what happens to the little bastard? Then yeah, they will cost pretty much nothing. But if you actually care and want them to be successful then they will be massively expensive. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418273) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:07 PM Author: hairraiser sticky indian lodge deer antler you and your wife could literally be the richest people on earth and your kids would turn out worse than two normal people (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418307) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:10 PM Author: Medicated boyish gas station Literally LOLed in the office (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418320) |
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Date: March 1st, 2020 11:21 AM Author: Medicated boyish gas station (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#39676636) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:10 PM Author: Well-lubricated rambunctious stock car rehab lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418323) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:11 PM Author: mind-boggling dopamine french chef I seriously doubt that. Unless you consider typical strivers the worst possible people on earth. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418329) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:17 PM Author: Well-lubricated rambunctious stock car rehab well... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418357) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:20 PM Author: mind-boggling dopamine french chef How bad can we be? I'm posting from a ski resort in Colorado. That makes me a potential cool dad, right? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418373) |
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Date: November 7th, 2016 8:15 PM Author: brilliant balding filthpig pit Only the coolest dads spend their vacations posting on xo. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#31827417) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:34 PM Author: passionate flesh orchestra pit cr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418457) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 11:27 PM Author: splenetic travel guidebook crotch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27420312) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 5:57 PM Author: mind-boggling dopamine french chef I'll start by saying that I don't expect to have any kids and the world is probably better off for my decision.
That said, I really see one kid as the worst of all worlds. The lifestyle change, money, etc. are mainly absorbed at the first kid. Now, imagine your first kid sucks. I'm sure we know millions of examples of this. Like the kids from normal families that grow up and join the Taliban or ISIS or are just raging assholes. Or you just don't get along and they grow up to be a huge loser. Now you turned your world upside down for what? So either 0 or 2-3 seems ideal. |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:13 PM Author: elite ape home I can't believe this, but I agree. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418337) |
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Date: March 1st, 2020 10:35 AM Author: underhanded coldplay fan yarmulke Aren’t you trolling for one kid now? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#39676446) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:14 PM Author: Ruddy Market the #1 reason to have at least two is the law of averages getting at least one kid who isn't a fuckup is more likely if you have more than one kid |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:21 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle crackhouse antidepressant drug My tentative view is that the pros of 2+ kids massively outweigh the cons. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418380) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:26 PM Author: fragrant frisky garrison 3 kids or bust niggas
I want me a brood |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:28 PM Author: Well-lubricated rambunctious stock car rehab cr! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418415) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:32 PM Author: Medicated boyish gas station In MFH 3 is the prestige number. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418443) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:33 PM Author: elite ape home DAT THREE BED APARTMENT (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418449) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 11:39 PM Author: Ruby cowardly hunting ground mother YNY (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27420387) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 6:42 PM Author: Lavender adulterous jap OP here: should have clarified that if I have massive cash I'll have two kids rather than one - because one of the main one kid pros is nullified. But that's a big if. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27418489) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 11:27 PM Author: splenetic travel guidebook crotch Only children turn out to be terrible people (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27420313) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2015 11:32 PM Author: Spectacular mood ticket booth There is a book on this topic by Bryan Caplan that is a decent read called "Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#27420338) |
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Date: November 7th, 2016 7:51 PM Author: Buff selfie (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#31827226) |
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Date: November 7th, 2016 7:56 PM Author: topaz slap-happy mental disorder police squad Having multiple kids in insurance. If you only have one and hey die in an accident or die to illness, you'll be crushed by maddening sorrow for the rest of your life. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#31827270) |
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Date: November 7th, 2016 8:10 PM Author: brilliant balding filthpig pit Going from 1 to 2 has been more life altering than going from 0 to 1.
You basically have no time for yourself. |
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Date: November 7th, 2016 8:27 PM Author: multi-colored cruise ship This. That's my fear wrt to another. We can manage with one, quite easily actually, after the newborn phase. It's easy to switch off on weekends and each go work out or do our things. Also I got a super easy first kid. Sleeps and eats like clockwork. Goes to bed at 7 and sleeps11-12 hours straight through. I never experienced the sleep deprivation that some do. Always got 3-4 hours chunks of sleep even in the worst times. I'm sure nobody gets lucky twice and I will have a colicky nightmare next in addition to a crazy toddler. That said, I think I'd be sad when I'm 50+ if I didn't have another...our family still feels incomplete. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#31827499) |
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Date: March 1st, 2020 10:53 AM Author: 180 school cafeteria One kid seems sad and they will have no family support in the world once you are gone. I really like having my sister around. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#39676498) |
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Date: March 1st, 2020 11:03 AM Author: ungodly amber piazza I didn't read any of this thread but will pontificate anyway. Have as many as you can possibly have if you think you have what it takes to be good parents and love your spouse/won't divorce. If you have a shaky or weird marriage or don't really want them, don't bother.
I'm going on 5 kids and even the 4 I have are pretty different from each other (surprisingly so, my wife and I are only children so we have no real good frame of reference). The variation will hopefully be good over the long term if I am thinking dynastically. Yes, I am the father and it's the same mother too. |
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Date: March 1st, 2020 11:17 AM Author: Stirring french half-breed Kids are cheap, have as many as your wife's uterus can bear (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#39676620) |
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Date: March 1st, 2020 11:22 AM Author: cobalt tattoo state if money ever is a factor when deciding about children then u should be euthanized (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2820747&forum_id=2#39676639) |