already addicted to adderall?
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Date: July 25th, 2015 2:50 PM Author: soul-stirring native
so I started 20 mg Adderall three months ago. that didn't have a huge effect that I could tell and I forgot to take it a lot (for what it's worth, think I actually do legitimately have very severe add). some appetite suppression. some dry mouth. i built up a decentish stockpile and a month ago started taking 40 mg er. holy shit has it changed everything. like... everything. I'm losing weight. (which is good. have about 30 lb to lose and never think about food). and I'm a machine at work. I use to be able to concentrate only with a lot of pressure, and that became more and more extreme- to the point where i couldn't do shit until I'd already missed a first deadline. now I'm starting things like... when i get them. i feel happier. i don't know if it's cause of the drugs, or cause life is going better. don't feel like panicky or high, but calm, focused and with a tiny bit of edge. like energized, but nothing i haven't felt naturally. just not that often. still sleeping well. actually better than ever because i can feel it fading at the end of the day and just want to crash. it's even making me more social. is that a thing? i had social anxiety in high school. and i don't think it's like diagnosable now or anything- i can work socialize. i like keeping up with friends. but it just takes so much energy. and I've been looking up randoms i haven't seen in five years to catch up and actually enjoying it.
ok, but my prescription's still only 20 mg, and I'm afraid doc won't up it to 40. don't have enough to take 40 indefinitely, so last couple weekends, i haven't been taking any. and woah. like I'm not unhappy or anything. but i sleep like 15 hours of the day. exhausted. for no good reason. and i don't do anything i need to do, be it cleaning, work, errands- anything.
it's only been like 3 months. am i dependent already? does it sound like I'm taking too much? i don't feel like I'm abusing it or addicted. but i am realizing this could be an incredibly seductive drug for me, since it seems to address every single one of the things i struggle most with (energy, focus, social comfort, weight, mood). could i still be in the euphoric period? what are the chances i lose this amazingness?
and what would you do? keep not using it daily to avoid dependence? confess to doc that taking more than prescribed and risk determination I'm abusing it? he already knows both mom, bro and half my aunts and uncles are alcoholics. I've never had an issue. but also never, never thought something could make this much difference in my life. i feel like me. but my best me at all times vs like, the me that sometimes surfaces once per month under tons of stress.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2945728&forum_id=2#28410147) |
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Date: July 25th, 2015 3:07 PM Author: soul-stirring native
I didn't. what's the magnesium for? I mean, I guess I could deal with no euphoria (though by euphoria I really just mean general sense of well being) just as long as I could still function like a normal adult who does shit that needs to get done.
but how long does the euphoria tend to take to go away?
did have a learning curve on the 40 mg though. still had to go to work and dive straight into work in the morning, instead of detouring to news or facebook (just for a few minutes). cause there goes the day.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2945728&forum_id=2#28410241) |
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Date: July 25th, 2015 3:21 PM Author: soul-stirring native
yeah, that's what has worried me. I didn't think I was in danger of abusing it. like it's not like I'm sitting her jonesing for it. no mental resistance to deciding not to take it today. but I am exhausted. I slept at 9pm last night and woke up at 8 and already took a nap. and it hasn't been a hard week. I've had plenty of sleep- the only difference is not taking Adderall today.
if I keep not taking it on the weekends, will that make it so I stop withdrawing? like my body won't get habituated? or will I go through this every weekend cause that seems pretty awful and unsustainable.
I mean, I like feeling good. I'm in awe of how this seems to make my life better on every front, and it'd be disingenuous to parse it out and say, no I don't like weight loss, liking socializing or feeling calm and confident and energized every single day. I'm taking it only for the concentration.
but really, it is like a miracle for me. I'm just so nervous cause addiction does run in my family, and that's something I really don't need on top of everything else. think I'm gonna have to be careful with this, especially if I start finding it slowly lose effectiveness. temptation would be really high to misuse.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2945728&forum_id=2#28410328) |
Date: July 25th, 2015 3:21 PM Author: Milky giraffe doctorate
There is a comedown period. After using it for a several days in a row if you stop, you will feel lethargic and not necessarily bad but not good either.
Generally, it's not good to take regularly if you are a normal bro. Fine to get yourself though a week of finals, or the bar, or maybe a big project, but if you take it every day you build up a tolerance and it won't be as effective, you will feel like you need it to do even minor stuff, and if you go a few days without it then it's like being hungover or something and you aren't effective or in a great mindset.
Use only when needed man.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2945728&forum_id=2#28410329) |
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Date: July 25th, 2015 3:24 PM Author: soul-stirring native
I need it all the time I think :-/
really the whole reason I went to the psych in the first place was that I was that I'd gotten to the point of not functioning.
used to be I could function when pressure and focus pretty well for a short period. but I think I built up a tolerance to that pressure. now I have to fucking be in danger of losing my job to send a work email (not really that exaggerated).
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2945728&forum_id=2#28410341) |
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