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Any associates ever push back on a verbally/psychologically abusive partner?
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 1:23 PM Author: Brilliant big old irish cottage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28891122) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 1:26 PM Author: unhinged bonkers blood rage striped hyena To be fair,
*former associates
and yes, subject to the revision above |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 6:33 AM Author: aggressive national I'm curious... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28896134) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 8:26 PM Author: 180 legal warrant I've done it. sometimes you have to call them out. but you have to have to (1) have good enough credentials, (2) have lots of other friends high up in the firm, and (3) only do this to people who (2) know are absolute assholes. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28899703) |
Date: October 3rd, 2015 10:20 PM Author: Up-to-no-good School Rigpig (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894525) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 10:29 PM Author: harsh rusted stage I had a little fucker name partner ask if I was stupid and I told him, no I am not stupid and my work was right where it needed to be. I left soon thereafter. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894580) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 10:30 PM Author: Up-to-no-good School Rigpig voluntarily? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894587) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 10:33 PM Author: Godawful whorehouse tcq (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894607) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 10:41 PM Author: harsh rusted stage Lol. No. But, he was a colossal asshole who yelled everyday at everyone, got sued on the reg, knew bullshit nothing about he practice of law, wrote up sales documents that left a bunch of shit open all the time. What he called me stupid about was the fact hat I was urging a client to make an effort to go to the corporate office to review annual reports before i brought a derivative action. Instead, I was supposed to just argue that it would have been futile, which under the circumstances was not the right way to go. Boss honestly didn't give a shit he just wanted to make a noise and hadn't even thought through the first motion to dismiss, which would be entirely on me to withstand. What. Fucker. His bullshit calls Saturday morning just to see how fast I would jump. Fuck that shit. |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 10:58 PM Author: Charismatic stubborn ladyboy place of business thread title made me LOL for some reason. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894712) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:05 PM Author: Bronze temple was working at a big4 and had the equivalent of a service partner who was a terror to everyone else. he was abusive to everyone but never yelled at me or fucked with me. I was told it was a matter of time. at some point, he brings me in and his volume raises a little to a level I didn't like. I said something to the effect of "I don't think I heard you the first time. Say it again, since I KNOW I didn't hear you properly." while I push my chair all the way up to his desk and lean in over his desk pretty close. He took a moment and his tone changed drastically and he said essentially the same thing. we have a conversation about what he wants and how he wanted it. I get up to leave and say "see how much easier it is when you talk with people with some mutual respect? remember, I'm not like the kids here, I am not afraid of getting fired and I always have bail money." I waited for the axe to fall. I get my reviews a couple of months later. his were golden. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894743) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:07 PM Author: Up-to-no-good School Rigpig race and height? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894751) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:10 PM Author: Bronze temple me? latino. 6'1" and 205. him? small, jewish, maybe 160. it wasn't about size or race though, he did that shit to everyone. and I just wasn't having it. i'd rather get canned. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894764) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 6:28 AM Author: Snowy greedy library 'it wasn't about size or race though'
Actually it was brother. Welcome to the autoadmissions network. New posters are always welcome! |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:08 PM Author: harsh rusted stage Balls. I WAS afraid of getting canned. Now at new job I don't care so much. Partly because I know how to make a living and have skills that fit in. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894759) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:11 PM Author: Bronze temple that's the key there. once you are unafraid of getting canned, it's nbd. but i've always been that way, I know I will always eat. I can get a job tomorrow loading trailers on a dock if I have to, but we're eating. every thing else is just gravy after that. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894770) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:13 PM Author: harsh rusted stage Right. I just think about wife, kid, health insurance, and that stuff makes a man puss out. Gotta take a different approach. My fuck you money is ME. won't happen again. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894782) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:16 PM Author: Bronze temple agreed. my wife does well and I do own a rental property that I am actually living off of right now (not balling out, but enough to eat, pay bills, etc). 100% matters. my wife knows i'm the type to not take disrespect, especially at a white collar workplace from guys I know I could ragdoll. she's also not very materialistic which helps a great deal. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894803) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:28 PM Author: startled preventive strike Damn, you a real nigga. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894907) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:29 PM Author: Bronze temple for better or worse, my spic shit is on 1000. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894925) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:40 PM Author: startled preventive strike nice
coming from a similar culture of high tempered Mediterraneans who are some 0 to 1000 motherfuckers as well. You can only push so far till its on.
Being able to have the freedom to walk is a necessity and important. Fuck shit bosses and their small minded tyrant bullshit. |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:45 PM Author: Bronze temple greek? I used to work for a greek PI king and he was 180 as fuck.
you're right. you can always find another job or just do your own thing. |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 5:15 PM Author: Adventurous pistol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28898602) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:10 PM Author: rough-skinned institution "Okay. Hold on there partner. I'm gonna go ahead and take issue with your tone here," he said, lisping uncontrollably. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894767) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:12 PM Author: Alcoholic saffron masturbator Yes and I fucked BOTH his wife and daughter
He still has no clue lol |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:12 PM Author: Bronze temple I'm pretty sure you won the thread. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894776) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:17 PM Author: Alcoholic saffron masturbator I would say that lawyers who are married get cucked more than any other profession for dudes (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894816) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:21 PM Author: Bronze temple why? hours? type of guy who goes along in it? I went Big4tax because of hours, homelife, etc., and it seemed like the same brand of dude except half the salary...for the kids, even less. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894841) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:25 PM Author: Alcoholic saffron masturbator None are chads. All work shit hours, most are out of shape, bitter from work, and let's not pretend that the women who marry them only do so after riding the cock carousel for a decade
Boring, bitter, joyless assholes who don't know anything about pleasing women |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:33 PM Author: Bronze temple sounds about right. but, you could say that about most white collar careers. I would say you get the same number of alphas in white collar as you would in any career. truckers, mechanics, etc. 10%. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894948) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:37 PM Author: Alcoholic saffron masturbator Law is unique, even when compared to banking, consulting, etc. it's just orders of magnitude worse than the rest
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:39 PM Author: Bronze temple hmmm...I don't know if I can disagree. I am thinking back to the real lack of T in law school and how, even at Big4, there were better socially adjusted dudes. Ditto some blue collar bros I've been around/worked with in college, etc. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894991) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 4:57 AM Author: Racy national security agency mediation Not my experience at all. A lot of my finance bros get abused way worse than lawyers. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28896071) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:13 PM Author: harsh rusted stage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894784) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:17 PM Author: nofapping iridescent cumskin Got a weekend email after the time I had mentally checked out. Shot back that I resign, effective immediately. No response to email, showed up Monday, continued job. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894810) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 4:37 AM Author: Sepia senate international law enforcement agency (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28896052) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 3:42 PM Author: galvanic resort cuck how long did you continue? there was never any follow-up? this seems weird (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28897985) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 4:43 PM Author: appetizing amber nursing home jewess (modern day George Costanza) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28898418) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:24 PM Author: Infuriating Startling Cuckoldry Menage One dood talked back to a future partner gunner senior he was working for in my summer class. Got noofferpwned (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894872) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:33 PM Author: Bronze temple do you think he regrets it? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894949) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:40 PM Author: Infuriating Startling Cuckoldry Menage yes (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28894998) |
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Date: October 3rd, 2015 11:44 PM Author: Angry base What kind of absolute moron would you have to be to do this as a summer? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28895026) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 1:22 AM Author: Up-to-no-good School Rigpig how much shit should a >2nd year associate take on a daily basis before setting some boundaries? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28895573) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 4:37 AM Author: Sepia senate international law enforcement agency (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28896053) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 4:56 AM Author: Racy national security agency mediation If it's from a mid-level always push back. They are the craziest and easiest to pwn.
Partners - grab a spoon and dive in to that shit sundae bro. |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 4:48 AM Author: Racy national security agency mediation i do now as a mid level a little bit, but never as a junior. Nothing big, just little things that make it clear I'm not their complete bitch (just mostly their bitch).
examples:
(1) asked if I should send out revised docs to a client. Partner responded (copying whole team) "are you kidding? yes. obviously send."
I responded (copying team) "No, I wasn't kidding. If I was kidding it would have been a joke not a routine and appropriate request before sending something to your client."
(2) Partner yelling at me. Me: "You know you're yelling right?"
Him: calms down immediately.
(3) Partner at 11:00 pm on a Friday night after sending comments at 9:30 PM and not specifying he wanted the doc to go out.
"Why hasn't this gone out yet?"
Me: "I'm not in the office. It will go out tomorrow by the afternoon. In the future, please specify a timeline if you want something to go out late on a Friday night."
(4) I'm at a Rangers game. I had told the counsel I would be gone that night and unavailable. At 7:00 (when the game starts) she starts emailing, texting, and calling me saying she needs help. At 7:30 she copies in the partner saying i've "disappeared" and she'll just have to handle since she's "not sure if I'm still working on this transaction". I chuckle, turn off phone.
At 10:00 I forward the email in which I told her I'd be out of pocket to the partner and her and, for good measure, the two junior associates she'd also been copying. I state that I am still on the transaction, she needs to be more careful about monitoring her emails in the future, and that she shouldn't contact me on my personal phone unless there is a real emergency. No response from anybody but she was my bitch from then on. |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 5:33 AM Author: multi-colored sexy macaca Can't call your personal phone unless it's an emergency? Who the fuck do you think you are? I'd can you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28896100) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 12:40 PM Author: Racy national security agency mediation I think I'm somebody who's entitled to a personal life. They are welcome to can me if they want, but I'm still here and still working for rainmakers at my V10 over a year later.
Sounds like you're a little bitch who doesn't know how to stand up for himself and play the game like a man.
The key is not to give a fuck if they fire you. This: (1) makes you a better lawyer because anxiety makes you dumb and error-prone; (2) makes you easier to be around because you're just another chill bro with partners instead of a typical neurotic law dork and (3) makes you happier and have a better balanced life.
If they tell me to walk I have 3 months. At my firm, that's a fucking eternity. I can lateral to any other firm I want outside Wachtell, S&C and Cravath within 3 months and maybe get an in-house gig.
In short, I just don't give a fuck if they want to fire for me for going to a rangers game and setting boundaries around my personal life. Go ahead fuckers. Do it. Not my problem. |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 1:19 PM Author: navy meetinghouse roast beef cr. wtf (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28897136) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 6:22 PM Author: razzle ocher hall generalized bond "The key is not to give a fuck if they fire you. This: (1) makes you a better lawyer because anxiety makes you dumb and error-prone; (2) makes you easier to be around because you're just another chill bro with partners instead of a typical neurotic law dork and (3) makes you happier and have a better balanced life. "
100% CR
this should be stickied |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 1:18 PM Author: Azure cruise ship I've done the "you know you're yelling right" thing
another ive done is when i got "you cant do anything right" type lecture i said, "name one associate who did stuff right so i can go talk to them and learn what to do" he didnt say jack other than stare at me then sputter out "thats none of your business" |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 5:08 PM Author: Red Crotch You are either very smooth/very good or they hate you Or both
I have known people who have tried moves like you mention and been fired (always softly and after very lengthy warming up periods/hints) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 7:52 PM Author: Racy national security agency mediation i'm good with people and very good at my job. some partners don't like me. i don't work with them. i do most of my work for two partners that like me a lot.
i've never received any hints that i'm on the way out. in fact, they kinda suck my dick half the time.
i bill about 1900-2100 a year too, and mostly on my terms (i.e., i only take 2 or 3 deals at a time and just flat refuse to take any more than that).
If you're a normal guy who knows where the line is you can do so much shit and get away with it in biglaw. it's crazy.
but i've been like this my whole life so if you're not an experienced slacker then i don't suggest the above. just grind away while you and i get the same bonus and i do 20% less work :-) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 6:43 PM Author: flesh parlour newt So you have to make it to mid-level before you can stand up for yourself? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28899093) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 7:49 PM Author: Racy national security agency mediation with partners? yeah. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28899510) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 5:29 AM Author: multi-colored sexy macaca I think the military approach to responding works best. In the military it's a criminal offense to talk back disrepsectfully when a superior officer is chewing you out (or any time), so the best response is to remain totally unphased and calm, with ta slight bit of dismissiveness when you respond. Hold your ground as calmly as you can. The fact that the superior can't either rile you up or make you turn into jelly makes them look really bad, especially when there are others are present.
Or you can take the approach of a guy I know in biglaw, who challenged a partner to fight in his office. That seemed to work, too. |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 12:37 PM Author: Up-to-no-good School Rigpig first part is my current approach. but there's only so much shit a man can tolerate eating once he hits his 30's (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28896937) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 8:21 PM Author: Titillating Step-uncle's House Deer Antler (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28899674) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 3:34 PM Author: Very Tactful Pearly Black Woman Stain The partners I worked for weren't bad, but one started giving me shit once and I pulled out my phone and started checking ESPN while he was bitching. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28897946) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 1:25 PM Author: Racy national security agency mediation Oh, and sometimes you get a really aspie partner. I mean somebody who is truly just incapable of normal social interaction. I work with this one psycho who FREAKS out if there are any "mistakes" (and by "mistakes" I mean not following her preferences).
At first I would try to defend myself, but that just made her angrier and more shrill. So now I just say okay. She always insults me and then pauses like she's waiting for me to defend myself so she can escalate the insult. I just say okay and wait in silence until she moves on and think about an especially good round with a girl or hockey or something while she's trying to figure out what's going on.
this one is super effective with people who are truly unhinged and can't be reasoned with. |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 4:58 PM Author: harsh rusted stage Like the idea of thinking about something good while someone is bitching. God dam just thinking about that little asshole I used to work for makes my blood boil. What a fucking idiot. |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 5:11 PM Author: Red Crotch Yes I know of multiple different instances of partners being "reported" for inappropriate behavior The partners had to attend remedial anger management or whatever training The associates never worked with the partners again In all cases the partners didn't matter/were junior at the time so it wasn't a big deal for the associate
Also know of batshit crazy associates who have had to attend similar anger management training for abuses of juniors, support staff and even the printer (lol) |
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Date: October 6th, 2015 9:00 AM Author: Cheese-eating Cracking Volcanic Crater lol haha the printer. just see some guy RAGING. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28909611) |
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Date: October 6th, 2015 10:22 AM Author: Red Crotch Printer filed a formal complaint against the individual and the firm The individual was banned from working with the printer On that deal the PARTNER had to then deal directly with the printer (the other associates on the deal were very junior, though still don't understand why the partner had to deal).
LOL JUST LOL |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 5:12 PM Author: Self-absorbed Milk after 100 thrusts in ur ass u start smiling ... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28898565) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 5:13 PM Author: Silver effete theater stage background story the xo story. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28898583) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 8:09 PM Author: Godawful whorehouse (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28899618) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 6:25 PM Author: Mauve cerebral laser beams some senior associate went apeshit at me over something dumb, and i just smirked and told him to calm down because it was nbd
we were on another deal like half a year later and he was going away for a weekend with his wife for their 10th anniversary or something like that while deal was close to signing. i faked a family emergency and partner made the dude cancel his trip.
other than that, nobody was ever really abusive with me or anything |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 8:39 PM Author: gay sickened degenerate your passive aggressive move to ruin a guy's 10th anniversary weekend is exactly what makes biglaw miserable. i'm sure you fit right in. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28899798) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 9:23 PM Author: sadistic salmon mad cow disease affirmative action lmao yeah. can just imagine this overweight, slightly balding nebbish smirking in his office to himself at his fucking masterstroke. rubbing his hands together like he's a fucking borgia. "revenge ith a dith betht therved cold" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28900143) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 9:26 PM Author: Mauve cerebral laser beams (poaster who did not enjoy his 10th anniversary forever alone) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28900164) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 9:35 PM Author: harsh rusted stage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28900212) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 9:24 PM Author: Mauve cerebral laser beams oh noes, some faggot senior stressing about typos got got
that will sure keep me up at night |
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Date: October 6th, 2015 10:17 AM Author: Provocative translucent pozpig How do people react irl to that story? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28909917) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 6:33 PM Author: Adventurous pistol u mean has anyone backed dat ass up? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28899038) |
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Date: October 4th, 2015 10:47 PM Author: Yapping casino alpha Yeah I pretty much do this all the time. It's kind of like that improv rule where you never say "no" but in this case it's never get angry. It's un-fucking-believable what you can get away with with an angry person if you maintain a friendly demeanor. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28900706) |
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Date: October 6th, 2015 8:44 AM Author: flirting gunner To unreasonable requests, just reply "Not interested" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3007645&forum_id=2#28909561) |