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Crossfit Out, Toyota's Unlikely New Athletic Partner For TORQUEBLAST Diesel (WSJ
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Date: October 9th, 2015 11:21 AM Author: Copper Community Account Double Fault Tokyo, October 9 2015 Shoshana Levine
Amid diesel controversy facing major auto manufacturers such as VW AG, Toyota (TSE: 7203) is making waves in the light-duty truck market with a new TORQUEBLAST diesel offering in upcoming 3/4-ton and 1-ton Tundra pickups geared toward the American market. The new engine will compete with Fiat Chrysler's Ram Cummins, Ford Motor Company's PowerStroke and GM's Duramax. Diesel engines are renowned for their longevity, economy and power delivery for towing and hauling.
Ako Watanabe started his career in Toyota's Hino division which builds busses, delivery trucks and forklifts for the world market. Watanabe is an avid follower of a relatively obscure sports league, the International Federation of Naked Bodybuilding (IFNB). In an odd twist, Watanabe met renowned IFNB scientist Dirk Hammarskjold, formerly of Fat Tail LLC at the South India Gurujat Rumble. Over drinks, the two swapped war stories and Hammarskjold remarked that Hino's 17.3 liter D173J diesel, used in busses and cranes in South Asia, "KNOWS IT'S BIG" compared to Ford, GM and Ram diesels ranging from 6.0 to 6.7 liters. The rest, as they say, is history.
Hammarskjold joined Hino and developed a new emissions system using bull semen as an exhaust additive to recapture NOx and particulate emissions. "That's the BLAST in TORQUEBLAST. We use a patented SPERMBLAST formula that allows us to achieve low emissions with a massive engine." explains Watanabe. Other diesel engines use a urea-based solution that isn't patent protected.
Ads for the new diesel in mass media feature photos of competitors' smaller diesel engines lying limp and leaking urea solution labelled "pissworm" as the TORQUEBLAST's 6 in-line cylinders stand tall with a glazing of SPERMBLAST fluid on top. IFNB pros Vic Gambroli and Buck "The Club" Paulette look on approvingly, fully nude.
The ads have drawn controversy from the Parents Television Council and FCC but attorneys for Toyota and IFNB claim "There's nothing erotic about BUFF MASCULINE PROS." The FCC is currently appealing to the 4th Circuit Court. |
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