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"teach me to pitch", said the Kodiak bear to Livan Hernandez

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thirsty stead striped hyena
  04/10/16
...
abnormal public bath
  04/10/16
...
Rusted station messiness
  04/10/16
...
Razzle mahogany heaven
  04/10/16
six months later: 1,500 pound Kodiak bear takes the mound...
thirsty stead striped hyena
  04/10/16
Teaching bears *anything* is dangerous. They're to be ident...
Razzle mahogany heaven
  04/10/16
...
orange mediation
  04/10/16
...
abnormal public bath
  04/10/16
Pitch 3 is a slow, big curveball. Paul Goldschmitt looks eag...
thirsty stead striped hyena
  04/10/16
xo kodiak bear
abnormal public bath
  04/10/16
he's down to Earth enough that he is willing to pose for pic...
thirsty stead striped hyena
  04/10/16
rate this MLB player who broke the bear bearrier to integrat...
abnormal public bath
  04/10/16
...
Blathering Psychic Nibblets
  05/19/17
180
racy bat shit crazy field
  05/19/17
...
Blathering Psychic Nibblets
  12/22/20
...
Cheese-eating abode half-breed
  12/22/20
...
Rusted station messiness
  04/10/16
...
Cerebral Locale Rigor
  04/10/16
...
thriller ruddy kitchen
  04/10/16
...
dull fantasy-prone police squad
  01/19/18
...
dull fantasy-prone police squad
  04/23/18
...
dull fantasy-prone police squad
  08/29/18
...
Cerebral Locale Rigor
  04/10/16
...
dull fantasy-prone police squad
  01/19/18
...
Passionate frozen church building chad
  04/10/16
*nabs Mike Trout and Tim Salmon in his mouth and viciously t...
thriller ruddy kitchen
  04/10/16
...
thirsty stead striped hyena
  04/10/16
...
abnormal public bath
  04/10/16
...
crystalline shrine
  04/10/16
...
thirsty stead striped hyena
  04/10/16
...
orange mediation
  04/10/16
...
racy bat shit crazy field
  05/19/17
...
Blathering Psychic Nibblets
  05/19/17
lmfao
Greedy digit ratio
  01/19/18
...
Cheese-eating abode half-breed
  12/22/20
...
Swashbuckling Weed Whacker
  04/10/16
Asked about his new relief pitcher after the game, Rockies m...
thirsty stead striped hyena
  04/10/16
...
abnormal public bath
  04/10/16
...
Cerebral Locale Rigor
  04/10/16
...
thirsty stead striped hyena
  04/10/16
Baseball's been bear-y bear-y good to me. - Bear Chico Es...
lemon hairraiser senate knife
  04/10/16
...
thirsty stead striped hyena
  04/10/16
...
thirsty stead striped hyena
  04/11/16
...
thirsty stead striped hyena
  04/24/16
In a late season game, the bear is brought in to face Yasiel...
thirsty stead striped hyena
  04/24/16
...
racy bat shit crazy field
  05/19/17
...
Flushed Menage Marketing Idea
  05/19/17
...
Walnut Voyeur
  10/07/17
...
fiercely-loyal disturbing area really tough guy
  01/19/18
...
well-lubricated frum principal's office old irish cottage
  01/19/18
one of the best threads i've ever seen on xo
dull fantasy-prone police squad
  01/22/18
...
Sienna Roommate Telephone
  01/22/18
...
Translucent office
  01/22/18
...
Walnut Voyeur
  04/09/18
...
dull fantasy-prone police squad
  08/29/18
...
light institution potus
  12/11/19
...
Cheese-eating abode half-breed
  08/02/21


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:23 PM
Author: thirsty stead striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242089)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:23 PM
Author: abnormal public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242094)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:23 PM
Author: Rusted station messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242096)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:24 PM
Author: Razzle mahogany heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242098)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:34 PM
Author: thirsty stead striped hyena

six months later:

1,500 pound Kodiak bear takes the mound for the Colorado Rockies against the Diamondbacks. Paul Goldschmitt takes an 88 mph fastball right down the middle for Strike 1. The game pauses briefly as the umpire throws the ball to the Rockies dugout, so it can be given to the bear later as a souvenir, his first MLB pitch.

Paul Goldschmitt steps out of the batter's box, takes a few practice hacks. He steps back in. The bear kicks, deals...Goldschmitt swings and misses big on a 60 mph changeup.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242192)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:38 PM
Author: Razzle mahogany heaven

Teaching bears *anything* is dangerous. They're to be identified, isolated, and exterminated. *Teaching* them is giving them the tools for our own destruction. Remember how the Battle of the Yukon started.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242218)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 5:50 PM
Author: orange mediation



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30243130)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:38 PM
Author: abnormal public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242223)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:48 PM
Author: thirsty stead striped hyena

Pitch 3 is a slow, big curveball. Paul Goldschmitt looks eager to swing at it, but all he can do is ground it softly to pitcher.

The Kodiak bear picks up the ball with his mouth, then flings it to first with one flick of his massive, muscular head. The first baseman catches a slobbery baseball for the out.

The bear stays on the mound and roars. He's gotten his man out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242298)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:50 PM
Author: abnormal public bath

xo kodiak bear

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242314)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:52 PM
Author: thirsty stead striped hyena

he's down to Earth enough that he is willing to pose for pictures with fans

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/c0/ca/d4/c0cad4bba21979c604c93784b2127dae.jpg

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242350)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:54 PM
Author: abnormal public bath

rate this MLB player who broke the bear bearrier to integrate baseball. what a hero

http://i.imgur.com/K7hcevV.jpg

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242362)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2017 11:07 AM
Author: Blathering Psychic Nibblets



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#33343419)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2017 11:07 AM
Author: racy bat shit crazy field

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#33343421)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2020 10:38 AM
Author: Blathering Psychic Nibblets



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#41596295)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2020 10:39 AM
Author: Cheese-eating abode half-breed



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#41596305)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:53 PM
Author: Rusted station messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242357)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:53 PM
Author: Cerebral Locale Rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242360)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:05 PM
Author: thriller ruddy kitchen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242472)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 10:35 AM
Author: dull fantasy-prone police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35188534)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 23rd, 2018 10:14 AM
Author: dull fantasy-prone police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35899336)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 29th, 2018 11:06 AM
Author: dull fantasy-prone police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#36707896)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:53 PM
Author: Cerebral Locale Rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242356)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 10:34 AM
Author: dull fantasy-prone police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35188531)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:54 PM
Author: Passionate frozen church building chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242364)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:05 PM
Author: thriller ruddy kitchen

*nabs Mike Trout and Tim Salmon in his mouth and viciously tears them apart as they flap their slimy piscine bodies around the bases*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242465)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:05 PM
Author: thirsty stead striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242471)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:06 PM
Author: abnormal public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242479)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:15 PM
Author: crystalline shrine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242525)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:23 PM
Author: thirsty stead striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242561)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 5:51 PM
Author: orange mediation



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30243138)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2017 11:08 AM
Author: racy bat shit crazy field



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#33343422)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2017 11:09 AM
Author: Blathering Psychic Nibblets



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#33343436)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 11:00 AM
Author: Greedy digit ratio

lmfao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35188672)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2020 10:37 AM
Author: Cheese-eating abode half-breed



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#41596283)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:25 PM
Author: Swashbuckling Weed Whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242569)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:43 PM
Author: thirsty stead striped hyena

Asked about his new relief pitcher after the game, Rockies manager Walt Weiss said "What I like best about Bearsie is that he goes right after batters. He doesn't get spooked. Some of these bears, they lose interest in pitching to you if you play dead or spray them with pepper. Not Bearsie - he just keeps throwing strikes."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242658)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:43 PM
Author: abnormal public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242661)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 5:50 PM
Author: Cerebral Locale Rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30243125)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 5:44 PM
Author: thirsty stead striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30243089)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 5:52 PM
Author: lemon hairraiser senate knife

Baseball's been bear-y bear-y good to me.

- Bear Chico Escuela

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30243148)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 8:30 PM
Author: thirsty stead striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30244482)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 11th, 2016 11:05 PM
Author: thirsty stead striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30253214)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2016 10:16 AM
Author: thirsty stead striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30336249)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2016 1:31 PM
Author: thirsty stead striped hyena

In a late season game, the bear is brought in to face Yasiel Puig at Chavez Ravine.

Pitch one is a lazy, 80-mph fastball right down the middle. Puig was taking all the way - he hears groans from his dugout and from some fans about why he didn't swing at such an easy pitch.

Pitch two is the exact same fastball, except this time Yasiel saw it coming. He swings and hits it a mile down the right field line, just barely foul: he misses a home run by inches.

Having read the scouting report and the Wikipedia article on Livan Hernandez, Yasiel is expecting the bear to throw him the same pitch on 0-2. He swings...and misses on a 60 mph eephus pitch.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30336961)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2017 11:08 AM
Author: racy bat shit crazy field



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#33343427)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2017 11:05 AM
Author: Flushed Menage Marketing Idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#33343400)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 7th, 2017 10:24 PM
Author: Walnut Voyeur



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#34390907)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 10:31 AM
Author: fiercely-loyal disturbing area really tough guy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35188520)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: well-lubricated frum principal's office old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35189035)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 22nd, 2018 11:10 AM
Author: dull fantasy-prone police squad

one of the best threads i've ever seen on xo

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35209019)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 22nd, 2018 11:17 AM
Author: Sienna Roommate Telephone



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35209075)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 22nd, 2018 11:21 AM
Author: Translucent office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35209091)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 9th, 2018 10:14 PM
Author: Walnut Voyeur



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35803240)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 29th, 2018 2:49 PM
Author: dull fantasy-prone police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#36709791)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 11th, 2019 3:34 PM
Author: light institution potus



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#39249503)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 2nd, 2021 9:21 PM
Author: Cheese-eating abode half-breed



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#42886664)