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"teach me to pitch", said the Kodiak bear to Livan Hernandez

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seedy whorehouse
  04/10/16
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Glittery Temple
  04/10/16
...
histrionic vengeful abode antidepressant drug
  04/10/16
...
Razzle-dazzle impertinent preventive strike
  04/10/16
six months later: 1,500 pound Kodiak bear takes the mound...
seedy whorehouse
  04/10/16
Teaching bears *anything* is dangerous. They're to be ident...
Razzle-dazzle impertinent preventive strike
  04/10/16
...
Bipolar senate
  04/10/16
...
Glittery Temple
  04/10/16
Pitch 3 is a slow, big curveball. Paul Goldschmitt looks eag...
seedy whorehouse
  04/10/16
xo kodiak bear
Glittery Temple
  04/10/16
he's down to Earth enough that he is willing to pose for pic...
seedy whorehouse
  04/10/16
rate this MLB player who broke the bear bearrier to integrat...
Glittery Temple
  04/10/16
...
Filthy grizzly ape state
  05/19/17
180
bat shit crazy church building
  05/19/17
...
Filthy grizzly ape state
  12/22/20
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Flirting lettuce foreskin
  12/22/20
...
histrionic vengeful abode antidepressant drug
  04/10/16
...
Green overrated puppy
  04/10/16
...
Twinkling sanctuary sandwich
  04/10/16
...
sienna police squad
  01/19/18
...
sienna police squad
  04/23/18
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sienna police squad
  08/29/18
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Green overrated puppy
  04/10/16
...
sienna police squad
  01/19/18
...
charcoal patrolman
  04/10/16
*nabs Mike Trout and Tim Salmon in his mouth and viciously t...
Twinkling sanctuary sandwich
  04/10/16
...
seedy whorehouse
  04/10/16
...
Glittery Temple
  04/10/16
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Motley Native Ratface
  04/10/16
...
seedy whorehouse
  04/10/16
...
Bipolar senate
  04/10/16
...
bat shit crazy church building
  05/19/17
...
Filthy grizzly ape state
  05/19/17
lmfao
Multi-colored puce location
  01/19/18
...
Flirting lettuce foreskin
  12/22/20
...
charismatic aquamarine jewess
  04/10/16
Asked about his new relief pitcher after the game, Rockies m...
seedy whorehouse
  04/10/16
...
Glittery Temple
  04/10/16
...
Green overrated puppy
  04/10/16
...
seedy whorehouse
  04/10/16
Baseball's been bear-y bear-y good to me. - Bear Chico Es...
cracking arrogant center mood
  04/10/16
...
seedy whorehouse
  04/10/16
...
seedy whorehouse
  04/11/16
...
seedy whorehouse
  04/24/16
In a late season game, the bear is brought in to face Yasiel...
seedy whorehouse
  04/24/16
...
bat shit crazy church building
  05/19/17
...
Bespoke Selfie
  05/19/17
...
crimson embarrassed to the bone laser beams fortuitous meteor
  10/07/17
...
black swashbuckling ladyboy space
  01/19/18
...
Floppy office
  01/19/18
one of the best threads i've ever seen on xo
sienna police squad
  01/22/18
...
peach depressive dilemma
  01/22/18
...
Hideous Razzle Stead
  01/22/18
...
crimson embarrassed to the bone laser beams fortuitous meteor
  04/09/18
...
sienna police squad
  08/29/18
...
Cobalt parlor
  12/11/19
...
Flirting lettuce foreskin
  08/02/21


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:23 PM
Author: seedy whorehouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242089)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:23 PM
Author: Glittery Temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242094)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:23 PM
Author: histrionic vengeful abode antidepressant drug



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242096)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:24 PM
Author: Razzle-dazzle impertinent preventive strike



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242098)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:34 PM
Author: seedy whorehouse

six months later:

1,500 pound Kodiak bear takes the mound for the Colorado Rockies against the Diamondbacks. Paul Goldschmitt takes an 88 mph fastball right down the middle for Strike 1. The game pauses briefly as the umpire throws the ball to the Rockies dugout, so it can be given to the bear later as a souvenir, his first MLB pitch.

Paul Goldschmitt steps out of the batter's box, takes a few practice hacks. He steps back in. The bear kicks, deals...Goldschmitt swings and misses big on a 60 mph changeup.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242192)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:38 PM
Author: Razzle-dazzle impertinent preventive strike

Teaching bears *anything* is dangerous. They're to be identified, isolated, and exterminated. *Teaching* them is giving them the tools for our own destruction. Remember how the Battle of the Yukon started.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242218)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 5:50 PM
Author: Bipolar senate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30243130)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:38 PM
Author: Glittery Temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242223)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:48 PM
Author: seedy whorehouse

Pitch 3 is a slow, big curveball. Paul Goldschmitt looks eager to swing at it, but all he can do is ground it softly to pitcher.

The Kodiak bear picks up the ball with his mouth, then flings it to first with one flick of his massive, muscular head. The first baseman catches a slobbery baseball for the out.

The bear stays on the mound and roars. He's gotten his man out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242298)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:50 PM
Author: Glittery Temple

xo kodiak bear

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242314)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:52 PM
Author: seedy whorehouse

he's down to Earth enough that he is willing to pose for pictures with fans

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/c0/ca/d4/c0cad4bba21979c604c93784b2127dae.jpg

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242350)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:54 PM
Author: Glittery Temple

rate this MLB player who broke the bear bearrier to integrate baseball. what a hero

http://i.imgur.com/K7hcevV.jpg

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242362)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2017 11:07 AM
Author: Filthy grizzly ape state



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#33343419)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2017 11:07 AM
Author: bat shit crazy church building

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#33343421)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2020 10:38 AM
Author: Filthy grizzly ape state



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#41596295)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2020 10:39 AM
Author: Flirting lettuce foreskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#41596305)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:53 PM
Author: histrionic vengeful abode antidepressant drug



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242357)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:53 PM
Author: Green overrated puppy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242360)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:05 PM
Author: Twinkling sanctuary sandwich



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242472)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 10:35 AM
Author: sienna police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35188534)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 23rd, 2018 10:14 AM
Author: sienna police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35899336)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 29th, 2018 11:06 AM
Author: sienna police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#36707896)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:53 PM
Author: Green overrated puppy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242356)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 10:34 AM
Author: sienna police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35188531)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:54 PM
Author: charcoal patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242364)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:05 PM
Author: Twinkling sanctuary sandwich

*nabs Mike Trout and Tim Salmon in his mouth and viciously tears them apart as they flap their slimy piscine bodies around the bases*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242465)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:05 PM
Author: seedy whorehouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242471)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:06 PM
Author: Glittery Temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242479)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:15 PM
Author: Motley Native Ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242525)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:23 PM
Author: seedy whorehouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242561)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 5:51 PM
Author: Bipolar senate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30243138)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2017 11:08 AM
Author: bat shit crazy church building



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#33343422)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2017 11:09 AM
Author: Filthy grizzly ape state



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#33343436)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 11:00 AM
Author: Multi-colored puce location

lmfao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35188672)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2020 10:37 AM
Author: Flirting lettuce foreskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#41596283)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:25 PM
Author: charismatic aquamarine jewess



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242569)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:43 PM
Author: seedy whorehouse

Asked about his new relief pitcher after the game, Rockies manager Walt Weiss said "What I like best about Bearsie is that he goes right after batters. He doesn't get spooked. Some of these bears, they lose interest in pitching to you if you play dead or spray them with pepper. Not Bearsie - he just keeps throwing strikes."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242658)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:43 PM
Author: Glittery Temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242661)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 5:50 PM
Author: Green overrated puppy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30243125)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 5:44 PM
Author: seedy whorehouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30243089)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 5:52 PM
Author: cracking arrogant center mood

Baseball's been bear-y bear-y good to me.

- Bear Chico Escuela

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30243148)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 8:30 PM
Author: seedy whorehouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30244482)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 11th, 2016 11:05 PM
Author: seedy whorehouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30253214)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2016 10:16 AM
Author: seedy whorehouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30336249)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2016 1:31 PM
Author: seedy whorehouse

In a late season game, the bear is brought in to face Yasiel Puig at Chavez Ravine.

Pitch one is a lazy, 80-mph fastball right down the middle. Puig was taking all the way - he hears groans from his dugout and from some fans about why he didn't swing at such an easy pitch.

Pitch two is the exact same fastball, except this time Yasiel saw it coming. He swings and hits it a mile down the right field line, just barely foul: he misses a home run by inches.

Having read the scouting report and the Wikipedia article on Livan Hernandez, Yasiel is expecting the bear to throw him the same pitch on 0-2. He swings...and misses on a 60 mph eephus pitch.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30336961)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2017 11:08 AM
Author: bat shit crazy church building



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#33343427)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2017 11:05 AM
Author: Bespoke Selfie



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#33343400)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 7th, 2017 10:24 PM
Author: crimson embarrassed to the bone laser beams fortuitous meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#34390907)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 10:31 AM
Author: black swashbuckling ladyboy space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35188520)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Floppy office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35189035)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 22nd, 2018 11:10 AM
Author: sienna police squad

one of the best threads i've ever seen on xo

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35209019)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 22nd, 2018 11:17 AM
Author: peach depressive dilemma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35209075)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 22nd, 2018 11:21 AM
Author: Hideous Razzle Stead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35209091)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 9th, 2018 10:14 PM
Author: crimson embarrassed to the bone laser beams fortuitous meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35803240)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 29th, 2018 2:49 PM
Author: sienna police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#36709791)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 11th, 2019 3:34 PM
Author: Cobalt parlor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#39249503)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 2nd, 2021 9:21 PM
Author: Flirting lettuce foreskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#42886664)