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My wife and her new lover broke her bed.

Saturday night, our neighbor Mike came over again. Although...
tree man
  07/12/16
...
Two 115-IQ Redditors stealing in Golden Balls
  07/12/16
Keep ur head up, tree man!
Heteronormative, Cisgendered Bro
  07/12/16
It's really hard!
tree man
  07/13/16
her legs bicycling the air, you say? damn, what a whore your...
[account temporarily suspended]
  07/13/16
? this is all Mike's doing. tree man and his wife are bla...
The Unabomber
  07/13/16
We are all consenting adults.
tree man
  07/14/16
...
Windsor Canadian
  07/18/16
...
boner police
  07/18/16
...
Deranged Penguin
  01/12/19
...
Rudolph
  07/14/16
this is going to get a lot of bumps tree man. are you sure y...
[account temporarily suspended]
  07/13/16
This stigma is chiefly one that results from patriarchal nor...
tree man
  07/14/16
This should be copied and entered into the "Why XO is h...
Dr. O'Thunder
  07/13/16
tytyty
tree man
  07/14/16
Has he fixed it yet? Sounds like a rude man frankly.
End Road Work
  07/13/16
He's supposed to come by later today.
tree man
  07/14/16
I would tell him in no uncertain terms that you do not appro...
End Road Work
  07/14/16
I am drafting a written statement explaining my grounds for ...
tree man
  07/14/16
Thanks for the share tree man
bowlcut autist
  07/14/16
They ought to break your little bed next time.
EXPLOSIVE diarrhea!!!!
  07/14/16
Hard to break the couch, though boy did they try!
tree man
  07/14/16
seek help
.,,,.,,;;;...,,,,,,..;,.,,;;.,;;.,,.,;;..;;.,,,.
  07/14/16
180
biglaw associate asking if link is worksafe @ 11pm
  07/14/16
180 also, 180 word "quim"
.,,.....,.,.,.,:,,:,,.:,:::.,,.,:,.,.::.:.,:.::,.
  07/14/16
it's pretty standard in internet literotica
,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,,
  07/14/16
...
.,,.....,.,.,.,:,,:,,.:,:::.,,.,:,.,.::.:.,:.::,.
  07/14/16
Brilliant
borders
  07/14/16
bump for millimeters.
[account temporarily suspended]
  07/14/16
"He lowered his shaft to within a millimeter or two (la...
Mainlining the secret truth of the universe
  07/14/16
...
her penis
  07/14/16
...
an entire campus of indelibles hippopotami
  07/14/16
i wonder if he got his bed fixed
pooncream
  07/14/16
lol
fatpieceofshit
  07/14/16
...
hung stud
  07/14/16
Did you make sure to buy new sheets?
Joe Lovano
  07/14/16
180, really enjoyed the neutral party part lmao
...:........;;.........,;:..........:.;....:::....
  07/14/16
...
Joe Lovano
  07/18/16
This is great work.
boner police
  07/18/16
...
lGWWC
  07/18/16
...
.,.,.,.,.,,,,,,...,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,,,
  07/18/16
one hundred fucking eighty
....,..,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,
  07/18/16
...
,.,...,..,..;....:,.,,,::,..,;,:,.,.:.:.,:.::
  07/28/16
...
.,.,..,...,..,:,,:,...,:::,...,:,.,..:...:.,:.::,;
  07/29/16
180
............;;....,,;;..,;,;;;;...;;;;;;.,......
  07/29/16
...
michael doodikoff
  08/02/16
...
End Road Work
  01/12/19
http://csmt.uchicago.edu/annotations/deleuzerhizome.htm
Two 115-IQ Redditors stealing in Golden Balls
  01/12/19
...
crucified reagan
  01/12/19
Pretty much anyone who uses the word quim an ad spells cum w...
How to derive an aut from an ism
  01/12/19


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2016 5:24 AM
Author: tree man

Saturday night, our neighbor Mike came over again. Although I wanted to discuss his disrespectful behavior at our Fourth of July party, my wife insisted on having a repeat performance. "You can watch if you want, tree man, but I need a good fuck. He's a good fuck. End of discussion."

That was that. My wife spent the rest of day preparing for her lover.

That evening, the doorbell rang, and Mike entered. To avoid conflict, I offered him my hand. He slapped my back really hard and smirked. I fetched a pack of ice for my bruised hand and a towel for my aching shoulder. Mike sauntered into the living room and sprawled on our couch. My wife fixed him a drink and they started making out on the couch.

I watched, aroused, as he suddenly ripped open my wife's blouse and began to knead her breasts. Burned forever into my memory is the image of her moaning and gasping as he kissed her neck, while reaching down to her quim. He pushed aside her panties, and I could hear the squish of her juices. She gasped. "Hurry, Mike, I need that big cock of yours."

I had not had an opportunity to clinically examine Mike's cock during his previous tryst with my wife. The shock of her sudden lustful surrender had left only an faint impression of his anatomy, a vision colored by impotence and rage. This time, I calmly steepled my fingers, adopted a scientific curiosity, and prepared to be awed.

A thick, veiny beast emerged from the hole in his boxers. He teased my wife with his love snake, pinning her arms to the couch as she struggled to shove his length into her hot ditch.

In profile, his well-formed glutes visibly tightened as he tensed up, readying to enter my supine wife. "Please, please, please, please, please," she whispered. "I need it, I need it."

"Tell me what you need," he growled.

"Please." Her back arched. "Please."

"Say it, slut."

At this point, I loudly coughed to indicate that I found his language problematic. For some reason, my wife often will fuck men who are politically incorrect. It's difficult to tell how much of this is ironic. I have observed that my wife tends to sincerely enjoy these encounters with fit, well-muscled, and somewhat reactionary men. Perhaps these encounters function as a safe space for her to explore fantasies of political disengagement. That's all fine, but I find it helpful to be the "conscience" of the encounter.

"Fuck me with that big cock," she gasped.

"Say it, whore."

"Fuck my cunt, daddy."

He lowered his shaft to within a millimeter or two (lately I have taken to avoiding U.S. customary units) of her gaping pussy. He stopped.

"You have to say it."

"No, Mike."

I had difficulty deciding if my wife objected to the sexual encounter entirely or just this particular portion. In situations of unclear consent, sometimes a neutral party can help in clarifying the situation. I leaned off my stool. Mike's muscular body dripped with sweat, mingling with my own wife's alluring must. Nope, I thought, better sit back down.

"Please," my wife begged, elongating her vowels in delighted agony. "Just give me that cock."

"Say it, bitch. Say 'Make America Great Again.'"

This really was too much. I grinned. My wife is a principled liberal. She'll sometimes watch a Trump video, but she's with Hillary Clinton all the way.

"Make America Great Again!" my wife screamed.

His cock plunged into her cavern. He pounded furiously at her, the rhythmic slap-slap-slap of his balls against her flesh drawing fluttered gasps from her in response. "Yes, yes, baby, hard like that." She closed her eyes, moaning indistinctly. Her body shook. She gripped him hard, her nails digging into his wide lats.

"Fuck!"

He withdrew, flipped her around and pushed her face into the sofa. He flashed a triumphant thumbs-up to me, then plowed away like some Roman god. My own tiny pissworm involuntarily ejaculated. I left to take a shower.

When I returned, Mike was dominating my wife thoroughly. She was on her back, eyes rolling in ecstasy, her legs bicycling the air. Mike roared. His balls pulsed. When he withdrew, I could see a pearly stream emerge from my wife's petals. She lunged forward to suck him clean.

"You're staying the night," she said.

Mike grinned. My wife gently took him by hand, her legs leaking his come onto our lacquered hardwood tiles.

"I'll clean up," I mumbled.

"Thanks, tree man," Mike said. He offered me a high-five, but accidentally swatted me to the floor.

"Whoa, sorry about that, tree man," he boomed.

I mumbled some peaceful words and told him there was ice cream in the fridge if he wanted any ice cream. The cows were grass-fed and did not have any hormones. Mike nodded, paying more attention to my wife's swaying ass as she ascended the staircase and crooked her finger towards him. Her eyes, sparkling with lust, intently locked with his. She bit her lower lip.

"All the ingredients are organic too. Let me know if you want some ice cream."

"Cyanide's organic, tree man," Mike said, slapping my back hard. As I stood up again, he laughed and scrambled up to my wife's love nest. I heard her loud giggle.

"Stop, Mike, stop."

I assumed it was ironic.

For the rest of the night, I tried to deeply meditate on Deleuze's concept of the rhizome, but my thoughts were continually interrupted by my wife's shameless moans. I did some chores to pass the time. Past midnight, Mike came downstairs, entirely naked, talking to his wife Susan on the phone.

"Yeah, babe, working late tonight. I'll be home around four. Don't stay up too late. How are the kids?"

I waited for Mike's phone call to finish, before pointing to his neatly pressed and folded clothes.

"Wow, great work, tree man. Don't stay up too late."

I croaked. The Keurig had finished heating. Mike fixed himself a cup of steaming coffee. Looking over my shoulder at the highlighted passages of A Thousand Plateaus, he laughed and shook his head. I couldn't expect him, a Trump supporter, to understand.

In the morning, I cooked a spinach omelette and poured a glass of orange juice for my wife. Carrying it upstairs on her special tray, I gently knocked before entering her room. She was lying spread-eagle in lustful repose. The stained and sweat-soaked sheets were torn. I noticed something funny about the bed. It was broken.

Wow.

"Honey, the bed's broken," I mewled.

She nodded. "Yeah, Mike's coming over to fix it."

I swallowed hard and nodded, before quietly setting down her tray on the dresser, replacing a new bottle of lube, and tiptoeing back downstairs to face the dawn.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30907593)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2016 6:19 AM
Author: Two 115-IQ Redditors stealing in Golden Balls



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30907625)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 12th, 2016 6:30 AM
Author: Heteronormative, Cisgendered Bro

Keep ur head up, tree man!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30907639)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2016 6:04 AM
Author: tree man

It's really hard!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30915886)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2016 6:12 AM
Author: [account temporarily suspended] (artist formerly known as prince)

her legs bicycling the air, you say? damn, what a whore your wife is, tree man.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30915889)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2016 6:15 AM
Author: The Unabomber (Pederas†rian)

?

this is all Mike's doing. tree man and his wife are blameless here

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30915893)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 3:27 AM
Author: tree man

We are all consenting adults.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30923616)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 18th, 2016 8:25 AM
Author: Windsor Canadian



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30958693)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 18th, 2016 9:01 AM
Author: boner police (boner police)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30958762)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2019 1:29 PM
Author: Deranged Penguin (lawman8)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#37579352)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 1:05 PM
Author: Rudolph



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30926205)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2016 6:32 AM
Author: [account temporarily suspended] (artist formerly known as prince)

this is going to get a lot of bumps tree man. are you sure you want this kind of notoriety? you are a sad pathetic individual and your wife doesnt deserve this kind of negative publicity, she did nothing wrong.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30915902)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 3:29 AM
Author: tree man

This stigma is chiefly one that results from patriarchal norms. I am planning to write a long e-mail to Judith Butler about this, because she frames the conversation in a very productive and engaging way.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30923624)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2016 6:40 AM
Author: Dr. O'Thunder (Dr. Thunder)

This should be copied and entered into the "Why XO is high IQ" thread.

Fucking brilliant.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30915908)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 3:30 AM
Author: tree man

tytyty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30923626)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2016 6:56 AM
Author: End Road Work

Has he fixed it yet? Sounds like a rude man frankly.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30915973)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 3:27 AM
Author: tree man

He's supposed to come by later today.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30923613)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 9:17 AM
Author: End Road Work

I would tell him in no uncertain terms that you do not approve of him fucking your wife again in your bed until he fixes it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30924467)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 1:00 PM
Author: tree man

I am drafting a written statement explaining my grounds for disapproval because I find it hard to talk when Mike's around. Of course, it's my honey's decision who she fucks, but I just wanted to open a dialogue.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30926164)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 9:30 AM
Author: bowlcut autist

Thanks for the share tree man

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30924543)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 9:31 AM
Author: EXPLOSIVE diarrhea!!!! ( )

They ought to break your little bed next time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30924545)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 12:57 PM
Author: tree man

Hard to break the couch, though boy did they try!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30926133)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 12:59 PM
Author: .,,,.,,;;;...,,,,,,..;,.,,;;.,;;.,,.,;;..;;.,,,.


seek help

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30926150)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 1:01 PM
Author: biglaw associate asking if link is worksafe @ 11pm (TRUMP)

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30926170)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 1:08 PM
Author: .,,.....,.,.,.,:,,:,,.:,:::.,,.,:,.,.::.:.,:.::,.


180

also, 180 word "quim"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30926229)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 9:26 PM
Author: ,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,,


it's pretty standard in internet literotica

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30930768)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 8:48 PM
Author: .,,.....,.,.,.,:,,:,,.:,:::.,,.,:,.,.::.:.,:.::,.




(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30930383)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 9:05 PM
Author: borders

Brilliant

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30930553)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 9:07 PM
Author: [account temporarily suspended] (artist formerly known as prince)

bump for millimeters.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30930576)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 9:11 PM
Author: Mainlining the secret truth of the universe ("YEAH, WE'RE DANGEROUS!")

"He lowered his shaft to within a millimeter or two (lately I have taken to avoiding U.S. customary units) of her gaping pussy."

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30930606)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 9:15 PM
Author: her penis



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30930650)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 9:18 PM
Author: an entire campus of indelibles hippopotami



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30930689)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 9:21 PM
Author: pooncream

i wonder if he got his bed fixed

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30930712)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 9:25 PM
Author: fatpieceofshit

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30930748)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 9:26 PM
Author: hung stud



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30930769)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 9:33 PM
Author: Joe Lovano

Did you make sure to buy new sheets?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30930839)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 14th, 2016 11:35 PM
Author: ...:........;;.........,;:..........:.;....:::....


180, really enjoyed the neutral party part lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30932284)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 18th, 2016 8:21 AM
Author: Joe Lovano



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30958677)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 18th, 2016 9:03 AM
Author: boner police (boner police)

This is great work.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30958770)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 18th, 2016 9:06 AM
Author: lGWWC



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30958773)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 18th, 2016 9:10 AM
Author: .,.,.,.,.,,,,,,...,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,,,




(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30958783)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 18th, 2016 1:41 PM
Author: ....,..,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,


one hundred fucking eighty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#30960493)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2016 8:17 PM
Author: ,.,...,..,..;....:,.,,,::,..,;,:,.,.:.:.,:.::




(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#31054615)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 29th, 2016 6:42 AM
Author: .,.,..,...,..,:,,:,...,:::,...,:,.,..:...:.,:.::,;




(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#31058811)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 29th, 2016 7:59 AM
Author: ............;;....,,;;..,;,;;;;...;;;;;;.,......


180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#31058923)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 2nd, 2016 6:25 PM
Author: michael doodikoff



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#31091896)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2019 11:21 AM
Author: End Road Work



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#37578835)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2019 11:37 AM
Author: Two 115-IQ Redditors stealing in Golden Balls (lawman8)

http://csmt.uchicago.edu/annotations/deleuzerhizome.htm

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#37578895)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2019 3:15 PM
Author: crucified reagan (cain (he spoke with nigger accent)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#37579976)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2019 6:19 PM
Author: How to derive an aut from an ism

Pretty much anyone who uses the word quim an ad spells cum with an O and E is a certified Penthouse Forum fanfic writer, right?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3282716&forum_id=2#37580905)