FUCK! Sister wants to separate from her husband
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: April 24th, 2017 5:21 PM Author: Topaz Supple Ladyboy
She's got three kids and her husband is a good dude. I'd tell her to go for it in a heartbeat if not for the kids, but she sounds pretty for sure about it.
How do I convince her to stick it out? Seems like anything I say will (a) not work, and (b) make things more awkward later.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#33151446) |
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Date: April 24th, 2017 6:12 PM Author: Topaz Supple Ladyboy
With one of the ladies, her husband was cheating on Ashley Madison, so that's easily explainable.
With the other, their kids are huge pains, so that's a lot of stress, but my wife suspects she waited until the husband got a better job and they finished remodeling their basement, then sprung the divorce on him.
In each case the wife wanted the divorce (although the cheating husband sort of forced the wife's hand in that case).
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#33151824) |
Date: April 24th, 2017 5:31 PM Author: bossy indirect expression address
I had to deal with something similar this weekend, and I talked at length to a girl I know who just told me on Saturday that she had already filed for divorce.
Tell her to definitely do couple's counseling, divorce is not an "easy button" especially when there are kids.
A therapist friend just this weekend recommend EFT (emotionally focused couples therapy) for this, spoke very highly of it. Look for a therapist who does this
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#33151527) |
Date: April 24th, 2017 5:41 PM Author: Onyx potus
How old are they and what do they do?
Salaries?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#33151611) |
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Date: April 24th, 2017 5:55 PM Author: Topaz Supple Ladyboy
Nope.
Despite my actual belief in the commitment of marriage, I would totally back her if it were just the two of them, but with the three kids I can't help but think she's viewing this selfishly and coming up with convenient excuses as to why it will be better for the kids.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#33151715)
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Date: April 24th, 2017 5:46 PM Author: cobalt jet-lagged corn cake
Why would you tell her to go for it if the husband is a good dude?
Maybe suggest to your sister to stop acting like a pigeon/child now that she is presumably in her mid to late 30's with adult responsibilities.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#33151654) |
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Date: April 24th, 2017 7:01 PM Author: Topaz Supple Ladyboy
I disagree with your premise. A relationship and being totally single might both suck.
Anyway, if their relationship is such that she feels no desire to be in it, I consider that a sucky relationship, or a not-too-good relationship at best.
I think it's a really bad idea to bring kids into a sucky or not-too-good relationship, regardless of whether you think you can snag a better mate somewhere else. Better to end it.
As for her chances elsewhere, she's toward the top end of the 40-year-old-divorcee-with-3-kids dating pool. That doesn't mean the world is her oyster, but if she's looking for a 40+ guy to be good to her and her kids, she can probably find him.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#33152197)
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Date: April 24th, 2017 7:31 PM Author: Jet Laser Beams
"but if she's looking for a 40+ guy to be good to her and her kids, she can probably find him"
eh . .probably not. Any 40+ guy she meets probably ahs kids of his own and isn't looking to adopt 3 more mouths/personalities/problems.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#33152456)
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Date: April 24th, 2017 6:19 PM Author: misanthropic meetinghouse
t&p brother. Dealing with a similar situation and it sucks when the family starts picking sides. Those kids are young enough that they will be completely confused and clueless about what is going on.
This is going to be rough on your kids even if they don't show it. The concept of mom and dad splitting up is now going to be a real possibility in their minds.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#33151868) |
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Date: April 24th, 2017 6:53 PM Author: big background story
... yet
Just wait
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#33152111) |
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Date: April 25th, 2017 1:06 PM Author: fluffy candlestick maker
extra virgin coconut oil has health benefits and is better than most oils.
its saturated fat isn't hydrogenated.
thinking coconut oil is unhealthy because it has a high % of saturated fat is akin to thinking eggs are unhealthy because they contain high amounts of cholesterol. antiquated and erroneous nutrition advice.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#33158438) |
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Date: April 24th, 2017 7:41 PM Author: Topaz Supple Ladyboy
You are 100% correct. The key to a good marriage communication and working in good faith to reach mutually agreeable resolutions to conflicts, even when it's annoying, tedious, embarrassing, etc.
It takes work.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#33152560)
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Date: April 24th, 2017 7:24 PM Author: fluffy candlestick maker
i feel really bad for those 3 kids.
sounds like mommy is having a mid-life crisis and wants to fuck around while she still has some of her looks.
get a couple days per week where she doesn't have to deal with the children, can go out and party like before she was married, etc. i'd pretty much guarantee she has a specific guy in mind whom she's crushing on hard, if not already cheating.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#33152380) |
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Date: April 24th, 2017 7:38 PM Author: cobalt jet-lagged corn cake
One problem is that women do not have the same perfected level of clarity that men do immediately after having an orgasm.
Any man tempted to cheat can jerk off and in the 30 seconds following ejaculation, have a perfectly clear understanding of what it means to cheat, what he is likely to get out of it, and whether that decision is worth it or not. He may try to discipline himself and fail the next time he is horny (rather than jerk off and reassess), but at least he has the ability to know the consequences of what he is doing and can decide whether to feel guilty, or embrace hedonism selfishly.
Women have no such forced-clarity. If a woman masturbates thinking about a guy she wants to cheat with, she will not immediately lose the sexual impulse and evaluate the decision to cheat based on the circumstances she is in. Instead her pigeon brain will associate the post-orgasm glow with the cheating target and this will reinforce the idea that it is the right thing for her to do.
This is why God made women small and easy to beat. Because they do not have a hard-wired method of controlling themselves, like men do.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#33152537) |
Date: April 25th, 2017 11:25 AM Author: Impertinent Emerald Public Bath Legal Warrant
Not that it'll convince her but life outcomes for her children (and grand children) will suffer greatly.
Relationships have ups and downs and three little kids will stress even a the healthiest of couples. This is probably just a rough patch. Sucks fucking over the future because of it.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#33157517) |
Date: April 25th, 2017 2:47 PM Author: Hairraiser honey-headed personal credit line scourge upon the earth
I've said this before and I'll say it again as someone who practiced family law/divorces for a number of years:
once a women loses respect for her man there is no coming back from it. Women are incapable of re-respecting their man and respect is the only thing that binds them in the first place.
There is no such thing as commitment anymore.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#33159305) |
Date: April 27th, 2017 3:52 PM Author: Topaz Supple Ladyboy
Apparently she needs to "find her truth" and "listen to her heart vibrations."
*tears hair out*
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#33177676) |
Date: October 26th, 2017 4:24 PM Author: Topaz Supple Ladyboy
Figured I'd resurrect this thread based on capriciousness in the Thunder Collins SAHM thread.
The good news is they're still together 6 months later. They got a (hot 19 year old) au pair that didn't work out, and now have a new one that they like a lot more, and my sis is working outside the house more. Seems to help.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#34535634) |
Date: October 26th, 2017 5:41 PM Author: razzmatazz zippy immigrant
Tell him to stop being a "good dude"/"Nice Guy"
she'll swoon back like flies to shit
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#34536112) |
Date: August 31st, 2018 2:51 AM Author: Topaz Supple Ladyboy
Just spent 3 hours with my wife talking to my sister and her husband.
Separation looking more inevitable.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#36720127) |
Date: September 1st, 2018 1:02 AM Author: Shivering ocher casino
Why are people so short sighted? Your sister just had a miscarriage. Doesn't she realize that is probably not the time to make a literally life altering decision not just for herself, but for 4 other people?
Also, not sure what the issues are, but its highly unlikely that they are going to get better after divorce. Like you don't get to start your life over. IF you do manage to get in another relationship, that relationship is going to have all the fucking baggage from your first marriage. You're just adding more hassle and baggiage to your life - not removing it.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#36726297) |
Date: October 16th, 2018 5:17 PM Author: big background story
Has she admitted to cheating yet?
Women literally never do this without assurances on the horizon.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#37036753) |
Date: October 16th, 2018 5:25 PM Author: fluffy candlestick maker
I stand by my post from 1.5 years ago above:
Sounds like mommy is having a mid-life crisis and wants to fuck around while she still has some of her looks.
get a couple days per week where she doesn't have to deal with the children, can go out and party like before she was married, etc. i'd pretty much guarantee she has a specific guy in mind whom she's crushing on hard, if not already cheating.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#37036811) |
Date: January 28th, 2020 11:12 PM Author: Topaz Supple Ladyboy
Helped my divorced sister and her divorced friend move into the 3 BR apt/townhouse they'll be sharing with my sister's 3 kids (half of the time) today. Good times.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3594286&forum_id=2#39505002)
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