I've got THREE (3) dates today. Wish me luck, cunts. (DTP)
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: July 3rd, 2017 11:24 AM Author: Flirting Lilac Stock Car Church
1. 20 y/o filipina home for the summer. still living with parents. artsy, kinda political and opinionated. very sweet.
2. 23 y/o chinese american "intern" kind of busted looking but she'll do
3. 29 y/o thai STEM assistant professor. skinny and cute, not shrewy seeming at all.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3664671&forum_id=2#33695086) |
Date: July 3rd, 2017 8:33 PM Author: Flirting Lilac Stock Car Church
brief summary of what happened today:
1. NOWAG
2. NOWAG
3. NOWAG
4 (unexpected bonus). NOWAG
if anyone wants the longer version, just ask
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3664671&forum_id=2#33698361) |
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Date: November 19th, 2017 3:44 AM Author: painfully honest field
Date: July 3rd, 2017 8:33 PM
Author: Deranged tinder pumo
brief summary of what happened today:
1. NOWAG
2. NOWAG
3. NOWAG
4 (unexpected bonus). NOWAG
if anyone wants the longer version, just ask
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=#)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3664671&forum_id=2#34722170) |
Date: July 3rd, 2017 9:43 PM Author: Flirting Lilac Stock Car Church
1. 20 y/o filipina intern-activist 4. i had high hopes based on the pictures. they were artsy, cute, manic, petite. i felt like a real stud, but expectations were shattered once more when greeted by a dark looking gremlin, having a dour expression with unkempt butch cut. we went for lunch. she was shitlib and her job was basically to go door to door soliciting donations to "stop trump." naive, idealistic. i seethed knowing that this 20 y/o possessed the skill and guile to looksmax at a much earlier age than i had, and to fool me so. despite all this, i felt a stirring for her based merely on the fact that she's introverted. i let my standards slip away from underneath me, a form of habitual learned desperation. i tried to keep the conversation going but found i lacked anything to say. when i got the check and she had to go, i was torn between relief and misery.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3664671&forum_id=2#33698710) |
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Date: November 22nd, 2017 12:23 AM Author: yapping pearl lodge filthpig
"a form of habitual learned desperation"
"i was torn between relief and misery"
jfc i like it here
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3664671&forum_id=2#34745788) |
Date: July 3rd, 2017 10:56 PM Author: Flirting Lilac Stock Car Church
2. 23 y/o taiwanese marketing intern 4. her english was flawless. i had no idea she was a fob until asking about her background. she had a busted face, a flabby body on a small frame, was perhaps unfuckable but for the saving grace of a warm smile and feminine personality. she was a nice and wholesome girl. the sort who has her shit together, likes to go out, but you trust her because all of her friends are asian, christian, or both. we got coffee. on the way there we waded through a sea of hot rich fobby chicks sitting at nearby tables. their outlines in the corners of my eyes were slim and luxuriant, elite, royal. their skin being pale, soft, almost translucent. i could feel the hairs on my arms and back of my neck prickle with electricity. this girl's flesh was dark. she was peasant and homely. very easy-going, i realized, and talking to her was not bad. as i settled in, the modafinil i had taken was having its effect. i could maintain perfect focus in the conversation with flexibility and ease. i was ad-libbing fluently about certain hobbies, passions, interests, friends. these stabs in the dark even held together and began to make a certain sense to me. a sense of self as normie. at one point, a sentence or two must have trailed on for longer than could be sustained. my built-up, gakked out credulity came shattering to the floor. i shivered as i paused mid-sentence about "that beer house" i loved to go to, or whatever the fuck it was, and lucidity was restored. "oops did i miss a step? was this where i was supposed to suggest we go out TOGETHER instead of crowing about my great fictional friends?" my mood ineluctably darkened, speech slurred. i must have suddenly appeared agitated and listless. i began to give curt replies to the questions she was asking, and a storm began brewing inside me. recognizing this, i stared numbly at her until she got the signal and asked if i wanted to go. i nodded my assent, and led her out the door. i stood around outside, waiting for my next "appointment", glaring at the fob royalty holding court i had earlier beheld, with a most frightening stony-faced expression. i wasn't able to fully process my emotions because of the modafiinil, but i knew it was terrible.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3664671&forum_id=2#33699038) |
Date: July 4th, 2017 11:45 AM Author: Flirting Lilac Stock Car Church
3. 29 y/o thai STEM professor 4. she presented as a well put-together, thin, fun, active woman via text and pics. so alluring to me and her brains just made it all the more appealing. she arrived at the restaurant where we were having tea. i instantly took a look at her. just another dull neurotic having practiced successful image management. the pictures were 5 years old. the angles had been carefully tuned, key features elided. still thin, but leathery skin. how did she manage to conceal those teeth? weird, grating idiosyncrasies. her feminine wiles, authentic to a point, were totally ruined by a try-hard edge and bucktooth chink accent. tricked. again. i moved to the bathroom to calm myself, catching glimpses of thinning hair. i returned to my seat. we proceeded to talk about her research interests, the academic environment. i was in auto-pilot while i ruminated on my failed life. on how humiliating and degrading it had been to spend thousands of hours digging and rooting around for trash, forced to treat it like treasure. on systematic biases in life, and how a normal person receives pleasant surprises and disappointments in equal number. and yet i had received a deluge of disappointments, browbeaten into me that life is a string of humiliations and defeats, brought on by the choices of my own actions in resorting to bottom-barrel online dating. on how this wasn't my "choice" per se as i was born broken and never had any hope of proper social life. on how a normal person, just an average asian schlub with a 100 IQ who meets his friends and romantic partners through the vicissitudes of random chance, can walk on a whole different dimension than me through life, and i can only peer at that fairy tale existence. "god why is her nose so wide? when is she going to invite me back for sex like i had forlornly expected her to, and used as sole justification for coming out all this way out here to meet her-- oh she's matter-of-factly excusing herself for her yoga class and was being sincere about just wanting to meet up for a tea date? well fine, then, leave bitch." i was diligently composing my suicide note in my head at this point anyways, and couldn't care less.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3664671&forum_id=2#33700760) |
Date: July 4th, 2017 2:36 PM Author: Flirting Lilac Stock Car Church
4. 21 y/o vietnamese intern 4.
after the tea date, it was still nice out so i sat outside watching people pass by. the agwag couples infuriated me, since i felt myself better looking than most of the guys, better dressed and had put way more effort in, yet they were walking around with nice cute young organic 7s, secured thus effortlessly, while i had boiled over with rage in failing at seducing beat-up weirdo tinder 4s. i thought about the differences between myself and them. i could hardly come up with something coherent other than that they had started off on a normal track, picked up normal hobbies and views along the way. perhaps some nano degree of increased myelination of neural connections responsible for emotional equanimity and being happy around people? a learned pavlovian response to accepting invitations and smiling at strangers? an IQ point sub-categorical skill at stringing together sentences and conveying emotional heft? there was something i couldn't quite put my finger on as to why i suffered so greatly and they hadn't. these short scrawny asian dorks, seemingly my doppelgangers, why they lived a carefree fairy tale life while i toiled in abject misery. we existed in whole different worlds. at times i suspected they couldn't even see me, only i them.
suddenly, my tinder goes off. it's the vietnamese girl. i ask where she is. she's at a coffee shop. she's a little resistant to meeting up at that moment, but obliges when i insist. i huff my way over there, it takes nearly 20 minutes. she's there with her friend and her friend's bf. we walk outside for a bit but they have plans later that day so she has to go. she thanks me profusely for coming all this way to see her, and i brush it off graciously. i'm fuming inside at how this busted girl, her cute friend, and her cute friend's average bf (all asian, all fob, all normies) were likely laughing at me, an old desperate fag, for having nothing better to do that day, as they very well should.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3664671&forum_id=2#33701714) |
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Date: October 27th, 2017 2:13 AM Author: Olive Striped Hyena
"there was something i couldn't quite put my finger on as to why i suffered so greatly and they hadn't. these short scrawny asian dorks, seemingly my doppelgangers, why they lived a carefree fairy tale life while i toiled in abject misery. we existed in whole different worlds. at times i suspected they couldn't even see me, only i them."
This is the equal to anything written by any of the great writers. This is on the level of a nabokov or a houellebecq. Such a beautiful and sad sentence that I feel like the guy from american beauty pondering the plastic bags in the wind.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3664671&forum_id=2#34539741) |
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