The most prestigious law school admissions discussion board in the world.
|
 |
 
|
Leaving wife for mistress
Poast new message in this thread
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:01 PM Author: grizzly den Tale as old as time. Mostly antagonistic relationship with wifey. Been seeing side piece for a while; she's obviously much younger then wifey but more importantly is actually kind and nice.
Two kids.
So, really, the question is: stay in unhappy situation for benefit of kids or look to improve my own situation in hopes that impact on kids may not be that large.
|
 |
Date: October 19th, 2017 6:11 AM Author: vivacious abode idea he suggested I was in your place 4-5 years ago. I stayed. It was the right choice. Your kids are more important (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477563) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 9:20 AM Author: Bespoke Bateful Community Account Queen Of The Night kill yourself you fucking degenerate faggot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477926) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:36 AM Author: honey-headed box office mad-dog skullcap (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478839) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:38 AM Author: Startled national security agency dog poop harsh, but not totally untrue. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478843) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:53 AM Author: Histrionic beta mediation pocket flask (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478940) |
|
Date: November 17th, 2017 3:46 AM Author: scarlet 180 legend dingle berry spin, ratfucks (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34707385) |
|
Date: July 19th, 2019 4:13 PM Author: Umber Heaven Black Woman (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#38557726) |
|
Date: July 19th, 2019 4:19 PM Author: Heady gas station (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#38557744) |
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:02 PM Author: Angry Mood Indian Lodge did u wrestle with guilt when u started fucking sidepiece (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475662) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:04 PM Author: grizzly den Kind of happened organically. Was very exciting at first. Not so much guilt as heightened awareness based on (a) sexing a new girl and (b) fear of being caught. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475680) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:05 PM Author: wonderful coffee pot locus (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476239) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:02 PM Author: Ungodly Depressive Base your kids will be happier by you and your "wife" giving them gifts fighting for their attention. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475665) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:03 PM Author: appetizing brunch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475677) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:03 PM Author: bearded hell candlestick maker howd u meet sidepiece? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475670) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:06 PM Author: grizzly den Limited work-related context; her company provides some services to mine.
After flirting with her a few times I just went for it because YOLO. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:04 PM Author: irradiated indecent organic girlfriend school Kids will be fine, stuff like divorce doesn't matter to them.
Mistress will not change she'll in fact get nicer and more interested in you once she wins.
Wife will happily accept all of this, she won't make your life hell in the divorce and after. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:04 PM Author: grizzly den LOL TY. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475683) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:07 PM Author: Fragrant Fishy Location (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475707) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:14 PM Author: appetizing brunch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475771) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:28 PM Author: rambunctious property (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475921) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:36 PM Author: Mind-boggling Affirmative Action (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475975) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:26 PM Author: Racy fighting native ceo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476370) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 1:33 AM Author: Spruce vibrant generalized bond twinkling uncleanness (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477104) |
|
Date: July 19th, 2019 4:40 PM Author: thriller faggotry trump supporter (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#38557823) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:09 PM Author: bisexual stead quadroon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475718) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:10 PM Author: aromatic cumskin cr WHAT COULD GO WRONG? |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:12 PM Author: thirsty sienna degenerate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475743) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:22 PM Author: shivering area factory reset button Tyft (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475860) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:24 PM Author: Stirring ratface (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475882) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:30 PM Author: rambunctious property Improved happiness and satisfaction with his home life will actually help his career and he'll come out of this wealthier than ever. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475936) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:26 PM Author: Racy fighting native ceo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476371) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:49 PM Author: Umber Heaven Black Woman (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476513) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:16 AM Author: razzmatazz greedy meetinghouse indirect expression (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476684) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 1:01 AM Author: crimson odious mad cow disease (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476956) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 1:32 AM Author: Painfully Honest Cruel-hearted Antidepressant Drug Step-uncle's House (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477102) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 4:29 AM Author: provocative hateful wrinkle set I love this guy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477483) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 5:29 AM Author: thriller faggotry trump supporter (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477521) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 7:22 AM Author: exhilarant sable library doctorate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477613) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 8:00 AM Author: coiffed persian point (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477673) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 9:17 AM Author: translucent menage philosopher-king (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477912) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 9:25 AM Author: diverse shitlib This has an /endthread feel to it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477944) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 9:55 AM Author: Mustard shrine potus (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478097) |
|
Date: November 14th, 2017 3:19 PM Author: mentally impaired kitty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34686176) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 10:03 AM Author: titillating karate jfc (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478163) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 10:38 AM Author: mildly autistic exciting puppy macaca (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478397) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:29 AM Author: walnut soul-stirring cruise ship circlehead (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478786) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:30 AM Author: Histrionic beta mediation pocket flask (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478804) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:33 AM Author: shaky haunting feces becky (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478827) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:39 AM Author: Startled national security agency dog poop tyft (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478856) |
|
Date: November 17th, 2017 3:45 AM Author: confused dilemma party of the first part (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34707383) |
|
Date: November 17th, 2017 3:48 AM Author: scarlet 180 legend dingle berry spin, ratfucks (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34707387) |
|
Date: July 24th, 2019 11:31 PM Author: Floppy hunting ground Great post (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#38584293) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:04 PM Author: metal adulterous site police squad kill your yourself and your family in a murder-suicide. thats really the best thing you can do going forward. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475681) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:04 PM Author: appetizing brunch yes yes,, emotional ponzi scheme etc. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475684) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:06 PM Author: grizzly den I actually don't want to killself at all. I like 2/3 of the family option and like the new girl.
Would consider a hitjob on wifey. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:08 PM Author: metal adulterous site police squad oh ok, just kill your wife and kids then. no problem. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475712) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:23 PM Author: shivering area factory reset button Your kids will probably grow up to be shitty people like you, so not sure why you would like them (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475869) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:24 PM Author: grizzly den It was a joke, I don't want to actually get a hitjob on wifey. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475887) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:07 PM Author: wonderful coffee pot locus (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476250) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:08 PM Author: grizzly den That is definitely not an appealing option. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476259) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:21 PM Author: wonderful coffee pot locus (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476340) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:41 AM Author: Startled national security agency dog poop (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478865) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:08 PM Author: Pearl Geriatric Institution (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475710) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:06 PM Author: twisted concupiscible public bath telephone I say leave your wife in pursuit of a happy life.
But you should be sure that your mistress is legit first. Once you divorce, you'll lose a lot of power over her. If she's a gold digger or otherwise has bad motives, you're in for a world of hurt. Have to really know her character before you make your move. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:08 PM Author: Fragrant Fishy Location She's fucking a married man with two kids... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475713) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:10 PM Author: grizzly den She didn't know that at first of course.
Later I told her that I was separate and going through a divorce.
It's a little unclear to me whether she believes everything or accepts what she wants to hear on her end. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:12 PM Author: claret bawdyhouse Yeah the best relationships are always founded on lies (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475754) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:14 PM Author: grizzly den This seems like a Disney truism. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475772) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 6:13 AM Author: vivacious abode idea he suggested (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477564) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:42 AM Author: Startled national security agency dog poop (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478867) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:08 PM Author: grizzly den Yeah I've been exploring this with mistress quite a bit, in terms of setting expectations and trying to get a sense of her view.
Always hard to tell (as she may be telling me what I want to hear) but I think she's just kind of a naive and kind girl. Sometimes I feel bad for her having gotten caught up with me. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:10 PM Author: Angry Mood Indian Lodge does she express any remorse for fucking a married man with family (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475724) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:11 PM Author: grizzly den Answered elsewhere but she didn't know at first and kind of knows half the truth now. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475738) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:11 PM Author: irradiated indecent organic girlfriend school Have you tried stringing her along with vague unrealistic promises you'll leave your mean wife and two kids until she is too old to attract a quality mate and have kids of her own? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475737) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:23 PM Author: bearded hell candlestick maker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475870) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:09 PM Author: wonderful coffee pot locus (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476268) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:23 PM Author: amber charismatic idiot hospital (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476352) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:54 PM Author: adventurous sex offender definitely follow lawman8's advice on this, cant go wrong (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476144) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 7:59 AM Author: coiffed persian point Seek assurances from mistress. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477672) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:09 PM Author: exhilarant sable library doctorate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34479033) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:10 PM Author: exhilarant sable library doctorate LMFAO
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:06 PM Author: Blue home jew Prenup with cheating clause? If no prepare to lose your shirt (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475697) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:10 PM Author: grizzly den Divorce would be no fault so I don't see the impact of cheating either way. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475728) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:07 PM Author: bearded hell candlestick maker not worried abt getting pwned in a custody dispute? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475708) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:08 PM Author: Fragrant Fishy Location (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475715) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:12 PM Author: grizzly den This is my number one fear and only reason I'm even considering the item.
No kids = immediate divorce.
So yes, my major considerations and custody and then child support. Marriage was short so alimony would be limited. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:18 PM Author: bearded hell candlestick maker just do gamble your kids for a new slimepit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475816) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:22 PM Author: grizzly den See I'm not sure it's gambling the kids. Are the kids necessarily better off with married parents that don't get along? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475856) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:23 PM Author: bearded hell candlestick maker your gambling that youre not gonna get no/limited custody pwned (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475866) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:25 PM Author: grizzly den Ok would like to get some wisdom from this great chatboart on that front. I'm thinking that's not likely. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475896) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 10:18 AM Author: diverse shitlib Every other weekend = 4 overnight visitation periods every 28 days. That's standard visitation in many jurisdictions.
Contemplate that. You wake up, your kids are there, you make them breakfast and send them off to school. Then you don't have any meaningful time with them for 12 days. You lay there, alone, wondering if they're having nightmares, wondering if your bitch of an ex-wife is taking care of them (or if she has just, yet again, plopped them in front of the TV so she can internet shop), you wonder what they ate for dinner. Even worse, you're laying next to your mistress, looking at her, and deep down you understand that you traded your time with your kids for this woman.
If you're lucky, you'r the kind of person who can shut off the part of your mind that can self identify mistakes and take a real view of the consequences of your decisions. If you're lucky, you're the kind of person that can rationalize your choices as being someone else's fault (i.e. oh, my ex-wife was such a bitch, she created this situation). If you can't do this, my advice is to find a liquor that you like that you can drink without a mixer - you're going to need it. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:39 AM Author: bearded hell candlestick maker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478849) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:48 AM Author: Startled national security agency dog poop (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478907) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:57 AM Author: bisexual stead quadroon There's no such thing as a "standard visitation" schedule.
If the kids are not infants, and he's an available, fit parent who is willing to show some backbone during the litigation there is no reason it shouldn't be 50/50 or close to it. At worst it should be every other weekend Fri - Mon morning with an additional mid-week overnight. That brings it to 10 overnights for every 28 day period. Not great but better than what you described.
A smart person might consider creating a trail now before the shit hits the fan and everyone's antennae are up. Take pictures, send texts/emails if for no reason other than to document involvement or attendance at events etc. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:34 PM Author: diverse shitlib We both practice in this area, and you're right that there is no such thing as "standard visitation," but the above is the default fall-back that most of our judges will order unless you give them some reason not to.
Good call with making the trail. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:43 PM Author: Mind-boggling Affirmative Action The standard software to calculate child support (Dissomaster) automatically by default puts 20% for the father when you open up the program. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34479292) |
|
Date: October 23rd, 2017 3:08 PM Author: lilac glittery parlour messiness Or do have new kids with this new woman (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34510332) |
|
Date: October 26th, 2017 5:45 AM Author: slippery stage incel kill shot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34531498) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:27 PM Author: demanding swashbuckling church building Cr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476377) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:18 PM Author: Fragrant Fishy Location Child support sucks ass if you make more money than wifey. Custody shouldn't be an issue. You should get 50/50 (depending on state) as a matter of right, barring untold DV/other legal issues.
Prepare for wife to accuse you of DV. Get an attorney ASAP. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:21 PM Author: grizzly den I make way more so yeah I'm probably screwed on child support.
I'm encouraged by custody rulings of late in my state so happy to hear a second opinion in my favor on that front.
Do you think mediation is feasible? If I could get wifey to come to the table. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:24 PM Author: Fragrant Fishy Location Have you ever met a rational woman whose husband is cheating and wants a divorce? She and her attorney will do everything (legal or not) to fleece you.
I really hope for your sake, you've been pigeonholing a bit of cash away that wife doesn't know about. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:27 PM Author: grizzly den Well she doesn't know that of course.
So the divorce would be for each of us to try to find a better future for ourselves.
I know she's not happy either.
Haven't hid much money, I was thinking it wouldn't really be an effective way to shelter assets. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:54 AM Author: Fragrant Fishy Location I was pigeonholing cash away before divorce was on the table. It was more of a rainy day fund. I think I had 20K set aside for a european vacation or if something catastrophic happened. Was kind of a nice F U to her after divorce when I spent it on hookers and blow.
I'm just warning you that she will not be the rational woman you once knew and you WILL be a basket case for a while. The woman you are leaving her for will not be the angel you think she is, nor will any other woman the rest of your life. Relationships are hard. Once you get beyond the initial wanderlust and fascination of new poon, it always turns sour.
Has your wife gained significant weight? Is she uglier? Have you put in any effort into your marriage? |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:10 PM Author: bearded hell candlestick maker enjoy Extended Stay America, btw (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475730) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:11 PM Author: Pearl Geriatric Institution (Boomer in a Tommy Bahama shirt, simultaneously considering whether to buy a Can-Am Spider, Corvette or both) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475731) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:12 PM Author: irradiated indecent organic girlfriend school (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475751) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:14 PM Author: gay contagious field nibblets Vette is fun as fuck (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475775) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:37 PM Author: beady-eyed therapy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475991) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:32 AM Author: Histrionic beta mediation pocket flask (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478815) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:51 AM Author: Startled national security agency dog poop (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478925) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:12 PM Author: pink dashing azn corner This always works out for the best, do it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475748) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:13 PM Author: grizzly den Well, does it? I feel like I see pretty mixed reviews. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475760) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:13 PM Author: pink dashing azn corner Do it, faggot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475762) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:14 PM Author: irradiated indecent organic girlfriend school Need to burn your flame more slowly :/ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475769) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:14 PM Author: wine vigorous principal's office Dad did this and completely fucked everyone involved (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475774) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:15 PM Author: grizzly den What do you mean? Why do you say that? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475788) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:16 PM Author: wine vigorous principal's office Mom went insane almost killed herself, dad got in a fight with mistress' husband and is now very lonely in old age, i dropped out of high school (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475801) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:19 PM Author: claret bawdyhouse Forgot the part abt u poasting too (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475828) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:32 AM Author: Histrionic beta mediation pocket flask (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478817) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:19 PM Author: Fragrant Fishy Location You doing OK Dennis? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475830) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:21 PM Author: Heady gas station It's Peterman btw (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475854) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:25 PM Author: Fragrant Fishy Location Really... is Peterman Dennis? I know they partied one night IIRC, but it's weird they have a very similar story. I thought Dennis destroyed his Ikea table. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475892) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:29 PM Author: wine vigorous principal's office dennis and i have a very similar family situation.
he did not destroy my ikea table, that was a drunken bar slut (but it happen the same night i partied w/ dennis). guy goes hard! |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:19 PM Author: grizzly den Yikes.
I maybe haven't given enough thought in a compassionate sense to wifey's mental state. She's mostly driven by animosity and conflict with me but if I were gone I'm not sure whether she'd double down on that or react differently. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:25 PM Author: wine vigorous principal's office go on a trip together. put everything you have into saving the marriage
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1BFHYtZlAU |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:29 PM Author: grizzly den Not a bad idea. Wifey is always very happy to travel to exotic locales. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475929) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:30 PM Author: wine vigorous principal's office i was going to propose mushrooms or ecstacy together, but a trip could work too. you need to get out of that frame of mind and sort through shit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475939) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:32 PM Author: grizzly den Thanks I may look into this.
My only fear is that a short term solution leads me to divorce later (when I'm in my 50s or something) and when my prospects for finding someone else are greatly diminished. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:34 PM Author: wine vigorous principal's office once the kids are gone and out of the house you can stay married and just do your own thing. i know a couple like this... have a house in penn and FL. guy spending most of the year in FL and the wife lives in penn most of the time (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475965) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:36 PM Author: grizzly den Yeah, that's certainly a much better path for financial success.
I guess I keep coming back to (a) whether the impact on the kids is really so terrible that I should stay unhappy, and (b) worrying about the uncertainty of custody and child support. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:14 AM Author: garnet outnumbered chapel cuckoldry It's going to fuck your kids up and unless you rate your happiness ahead of that consideration you have no choice.
Suck it up. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:20 AM Author: razzmatazz greedy meetinghouse indirect expression it will fuck the kids up. divorce is awful on young children. the only thing that could fuck them up worse is if you or your wife die. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476718) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 6:16 AM Author: vivacious abode idea he suggested this. as soon as my kids are gone... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477567) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:18 PM Author: Comical senate what happened to relationship with wifey? you realize that there are tens of thousands of women on earth that you would "hit it off" with and feel in true love with right? if that did not exist marriage would be meaningless. why not gut it out for a couple decades? |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:24 PM Author: grizzly den Relationship with wifey was always tumultuous, but she was (and honestly still is) very attractive. So I was a bit enamored.
I generally agree with the concept of many compatible mates, but if I'm not with such a compatible mate now why not try to choose from among one of the other more compatible ones?
Not sure if you're flaming with the couple decades thing but we've been doing counseling on and off for two years. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:21 PM Author: thirsty sienna degenerate son(s) and or daughter(s)? how old? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475849) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:29 PM Author: grizzly den One of each, both under 5. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475932) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:30 PM Author: thirsty sienna degenerate at this point i imagine you don't care about someone fucking your wife. but just picture a stepdad (likely wants to kill your son, fuck your daughter) for a bit before you pull the trigger.
also your gf may want her own kids. do you have appetite for more? |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:34 PM Author: grizzly den Yeah, the stepdad thing sucks. I would lose the full ability to influence my own kids which really sucks.
Definitely don't care about what she does with her own self. I'd guess she'll just re-marry old and rich.
I would be fine without more but you're right that if I end up with a new girl she'll be younger and want more kids. I'm not against it but the finances would be a little tight. Still, not a dealbreaker. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 4:57 AM Author: bisexual stead quadroon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477507) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:30 PM Author: trip navy theater turdskin This would be deeply evil, friend. You should stop. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475940) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:33 PM Author: aromatic cumskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475959) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:37 PM Author: Pearl Geriatric Institution (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475987) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:37 PM Author: grizzly den Sorry I don't see this as an issue of good or evil. I assume you are flaming? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475990) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:38 PM Author: aromatic cumskin pure selfishness when you're a parent is evil see below |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 6:17 AM Author: vivacious abode idea he suggested (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477568) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:44 PM Author: trip navy theater turdskin Do you view anything as a matter of good and evil? You're lying to your wife, your children, AND your mistress right now, and your master plan is to blow up your family for the sake of having a younger wife, and just hoping it doesn't royally fuck your kids up. That's not a matter of good and evil? Don't kid yourself; of course it is. Stop looking for us to endorse wickedness. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476049) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:49 PM Author: grizzly den Sorry I don't share your moralistic world view.
Your poast sounds like dogma. I take it you are religious?
The motivation isn't to get a younger wife. The motivation is to take a chance at finding happiness in a relationship. Without kids this would be an easy choice. So the question is more one of assessing the impact on the kids, understanding likely legal outcomes, and weighing that against the value of increased self-happiness adjusted for risk of the next relationship failing short. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:52 PM Author: irradiated indecent organic girlfriend school I'm convinced, you sound perfectly logical and not at all like you are trying to justify the decision you already made with your dick. No way this is short-term thinking. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476127) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:00 PM Author: grizzly den I'm illogical? As against the accusations of good and evil?
Fair enough to criticize that I'm thinking with clouded judgement; I'm more trying to rationally consider the options and understand the outcomes, not necessarily defend a view. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:02 PM Author: irradiated indecent organic girlfriend school Nonsense. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476207) |
|
Date: November 17th, 2017 4:03 AM Author: scarlet 180 legend dingle berry spin, ratfucks (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34707412) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:53 PM Author: Pearl Geriatric Institution ARE YOU REELIN' IN THE YEARS (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476134) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:01 PM Author: trip navy theater turdskin It's not dogma to believe in right and wrong. What you want to do is evil and selfish, and you're trying to get us to justify it. Frankly the notion that you honestly think this will work out blows my mind. You already have lied about everything to your mistress, so you clearly don't care any more about having an honest relationship with her than with your wife. Do you actually care about her well-being at all, or do you just view her as a vehicle for you to have a younger, kinder wife?
What's going to happen when you leave your wife for this woman? Will you have any children with her? When you inevitably have difficulties will you go find another side-piece, or will you be totally committed this time? If this all happened again, would you ever consider for a moment that your bad relationships are your own fault? |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:07 PM Author: grizzly den Yes, of course some significant part of this is my fault; failed relationships almost always take two.
You are right to criticize my lack of honesty towards the mistress, I don't seek to defend that. I do care about her well-being, but honestly I think my relationship with her is secondary in this situation.
I'm not looking for validation, but I am openly questioning some of the prevailing wisdom on the effects and impacts of divorce on young kids, and whether they're worse off with divorced parents or parents that can't communicate and get along. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:22 PM Author: wonderful coffee pot locus (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476344) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:25 PM Author: trip navy theater turdskin Well, let's add some additional material:
-Has your mistress actually met your kids? Is she going to welcome suddenly having stepchildren in her relationship? Will she behave the same way? How likely is it that your children will accept their "new" mom? -Your wife will probably try to remarry. What kind of man will she attract, being a divorced woman with two kids? Will that man treat your kids well, given his total lack of biological connection? Recall that stepdad-on-stepchild is an insanely common kind of child abuse. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:28 PM Author: amber charismatic idiot hospital stepdad is someplace btw 10x and 50x more likely to diddle a daughter than organic dad. but i'm sure you're dotter will be fine! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476386) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:36 PM Author: garnet outnumbered chapel cuckoldry The stats here for stepdad/stepdottr molestation are horrendous.
IIRC its 40x more likely to occur than between father and dottr. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:41 PM Author: grizzly den Wait, what are these stats, really? I would have to think the molestation stats for biological father and daughter are vanishingly small, so 40x a tiny percentage is a little misleading. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476449) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 1:34 AM Author: thirsty sienna degenerate http://www.smh.com.au/comment/mums-boyfriend--the-worst-sexual-risk-to-children-20140213-32n3s.html
Analysis of interviews obtained from a random sample of 930 adult women in San Francisco revealed that 17% or one out of approximately every six women who had a stepfather as a principal figure in her childhood years, was sexually abused by him. The comparable figures for biological fathers were 2% or one out of approximately 40 women. In addition, when a distinction was made between Very Serious Sexual Abuse (including experiences ranging from forced penile-vaginal penetration to non-forceful attempted fellatio, cunnilingus , and anal intercourse) and other less serious forms, 47% of the cases of sexual abuse by stepfathers were at the Very Serious level of violation compared with 26% by biological fathers. Possible explanations for these starting discrepancies are discussed, and some of the implications for remarriage are considered. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:58 AM Author: honey-headed box office mad-dog skullcap the 2% biological father diddlers sounded absurdly high until i remembered that the sample was of women from broken homes, so the dads were 100% dirtbags who left their wife and kids (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478972) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:31 PM Author: slap-happy resort fathers are beta (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34479185) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:34 PM Author: grizzly den Yes, the mistress has met the kids and loves them. She is overwhelmingly kind which is kind of part of the problem for me; I'm very fortunate to have met her and wish I could have met her earlier.
She's great and realistically deserves better than me but I've been trying to remove the focus from my relationship with her as I think that's kind of secondary.
The kids are small and--frankly--take very well to new people after a day or two. Wifey was out of town for almost two weeks a while ago and they did fine.
My wife is very attractive so I think she'll fare well in the dating market. I tend to think she'll remarry a significantly older, wealthy guy, but maybe that's just me being hopeful. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:59 AM Author: Startled national security agency dog poop Wait...wait...
Your kids MET the mistress and they didn't rat you out?
What little kid could hesitate to tell mommy about meeting, "Daddy's friend from work! She was pretty and nice to us!" |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 10:00 AM Author: Bespoke Bateful Community Account Queen Of The Night sorry but you just seem low iq (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478139) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:20 PM Author: wonderful coffee pot locus (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476338) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:33 PM Author: trip navy theater turdskin Hard to say. Coming clean is probably the ideal but I don't know that it's the best move off the bat (if things are really bad it's probably just the "blow things up" button), without attempting to strengthen the relationship from within. Coming clean has to come from a position of love for another person, and OP doesn't seem to be acting with love toward anyone except possibly his kids. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476411) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:36 PM Author: wonderful coffee pot locus (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476426) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:14 AM Author: Slimy Hairraiser Parlor Fanboi Why the fuck would op ever come clean if he wants to save marriage??? Particularly with an already contentious Wife.
You must not be married. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 6:24 AM Author: vivacious abode idea he suggested this. I never came clean and my marriage is better for it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477573) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:01 PM Author: Startled national security agency dog poop (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478990) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:16 AM Author: garnet outnumbered chapel cuckoldry Come clean about having a mistress? How on earth will that help?
By all means come clean on being unhappy and go and get some counselling. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:51 PM Author: orange self-centered tanning salon knife not a religious person, but you are a shitty person. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476539) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:55 AM Author: honey-headed box office mad-dog skullcap "The motivation is to take a chance at finding happiness in a relationship."
well you have two kids you could do that with, what you mean is that you want strange |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 5:53 AM Author: lascivious mental disorder (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477547) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:36 PM Author: Arousing hideous hominid Did your kids hug you tonight when you put them to bed and say "goodnight, daddy"? Best feeling in the world, no? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34475985) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:38 PM Author: grizzly den Yes, time away from the kids is my number one fear.
The truth is I don't see them a ton during the week but I don't work weekends so that is cherished time. I'd really hate to lose that. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:37 PM Author: excitant love of her life Divorce isn't always the best option, but sometimes it's the only option. Sucks for the kids, but they'd still have you as a father. They just might have another one in due time - are you prepared for that?
I've found that kids who are teens get hit the hardest when their parents divorce. Just my observation. So if they're younger than that, which they probably are, it might be better to do it now.
With that said, I'm leery of someone who would enter into a relationship with a married man. How do you know she wouldn't do that again? How does she know you wouldn't do that again?
Maybe the best thing to do would be to break it off with this paramour of yours, so you can think more clearly about the whole situation. Then, when you're ready, make a decision about whether you can repair your marriage. Only then should you pursue another relationship, if your decision is to end the marriage.
It's inauspicious to start a new relationship before you've ended the last one. It's called adultery, and it's a proven fact that people go to hell for that shit. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:42 PM Author: grizzly den No, not prepared to be displaced. Honestly I am more concerned that a new stepdad would be a dick or abusive.
The kids are young so yes, I was thinking that I should pull the plug now or just suffer on until they're out of the house. I would like to do it now before they can remember much of it if I'm going to do it at all.
The situation with the paramour is really hard to explain and too unique so I can't go into it; suffice it to say that (a) I don't have much fear of her mistreating me or the kids but (b) she probably is clouding my judgment to some extent. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:45 PM Author: thirsty sienna degenerate Doing it while you guys are still in your 30s guarantees step parents and siblings.
|
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:50 PM Author: grizzly den Yeah, that's kind of an artifact of trying to do it while the kids are young to minimize impact on them. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476101) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:38 PM Author: aromatic cumskin Do you really not see how, once you become a parent, your entire hierarchy of needs should be supplanted by theirs? Raising them properly should be literally your #1 goal in life from now until they're out of the house. Doing this would completely fuck them up beyond repair. If you continue down this path, you are living in pure hedonistic selfishness. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:42 PM Author: Arousing hideous hominid Well put. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476030) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:45 PM Author: grizzly den This is reductive and kind of silly.
Say that the parents are constantly fighting and screaming at each other -- is that environment by definition best for the kids?
Your position assumes without consideration that in all instances a divorce would not be in their best interests. I also think you are overstating the effect of the divorce on the kids but I'm happy to be proven wrong or shown otherwise. That's why I'm poasting. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 1:34 AM Author: Painfully Honest Cruel-hearted Antidepressant Drug Step-uncle's House what do you mean "say that the parents are screaming at each other" like its a professors premise in a problem set?
don't scream at your wife you dumb bitch. problem solved. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 7:33 AM Author: exhilarant sable library doctorate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477626) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 10:01 AM Author: Mustard shrine potus (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478143) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:02 PM Author: honey-headed box office mad-dog skullcap "don't scream at your wife you dumb bitch. problem solved."
This. You can 100% see his blindspot, you say to put the kids first, and he says "yeah well what if we're yelling" as if putting the kids first wouldn't also imply you've stopped engaging in fights
being a henpecked husband and just letting your wife boss you around is a far more moral, child-supportive decision than to bail because you can't stop fucking defending yourself when your wife complains that you tracked mud into the house |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:04 PM Author: Startled national security agency dog poop (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34479009) |
|
Date: November 17th, 2017 4:14 AM Author: scarlet 180 legend dingle berry spin, ratfucks (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34707422) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:54 PM Author: Talented submissive jewess cr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476140) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:03 PM Author: Balding partner Eh, if it is an unhappy marriage, then I think divorce is the better option.
If the kids find out he cheated on their mom, they will 100% hate him for a long time - guaranteed. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:06 PM Author: Galvanic milky nowag Divorce isn't that big a deal. Even OJ and that crazy guy from Dirty John maintained relationships with their kids despite the fact that these evil dudes murdered their mom. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476242) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:02 PM Author: honey-headed box office mad-dog skullcap OJ didn't murder Nicole, their son did (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478993) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:33 PM Author: garnet outnumbered chapel cuckoldry cr
This is going to fuck up his young kids for a long time, if not life. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:15 AM Author: razzmatazz greedy meetinghouse indirect expression (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476682) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 9:36 AM Author: Racy fighting native ceo CR. OP IS A PIECE OF SHIT (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477987) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:57 AM Author: Fragrant Fishy Location (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478968) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:41 PM Author: gay contagious field nibblets Dump the homewrecking slut, you child. Be a man, fix your marriage, and be a father to your children. Fucking degenerate. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476023) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:51 PM Author: grizzly den Well this may be the ultimate path, I'd say it's probably still the most likely outcome.
No need for name calling. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:53 PM Author: gay contagious field nibblets Fucking grow a pair. Lead your household like an actual man. It's ok if you have to pretend, before long you may in fact start to believe you're really a man. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476130) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 10:22 AM Author: exhilarant sable library doctorate CRRRRRRRRRRR (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478282) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:44 PM Author: deranged insane pit What types of things do you and your wife disagree about? I mean in what kinds of ways is the relationship "tumultuous" and "antagonistic"? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476047) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:53 PM Author: grizzly den Complete inability to communicate. Has always been the case but exacerbated by having kids (and thus having to communicate about more tense/stressful things).
Immediate defensiveness on the part of wifey.
Wifey's lack of interest in contributing financially coupled with conceptions of feminism and wanting to share the load 50/50 at home. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:30 PM Author: wonderful coffee pot locus (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476398) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:45 PM Author: Ebony stain temple Rather selfish to raise kids in broken homes where a parent decided not to work at something because the parent decided it was easier to throw it away. You’re actually cheating yourself, but you won’t realize it till your kids are grown. Good luck, you’re going to need it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476064) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:51 PM Author: gay contagious field nibblets Cr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476117) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:54 PM Author: grizzly den Done counseling for two years.
At what point do you walk away? Is your view that if you have kids there is no such point? That you'd stay in a loveless marriage solely for the sake of the kids, and that necessarily the impact of a divorce is monumental for young kids? |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:59 PM Author: irradiated indecent organic girlfriend school See this was poorly executed, should have figured out your chronology wrt the counseling and the mistress before you started the flame :/ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476177) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:59 PM Author: thirsty sienna degenerate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476185) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 5:53 AM Author: bisexual stead quadroon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477546) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 7:19 AM Author: Ebony stain temple Bro you aren’t advertising a dv problem, you’re looking on the internet for people to validate the decision you’ve already made. There are loads of us married with children types and nobody will say it’s easy. I hate to provide these lunatics with personal info but I will for you. I dabbled in domestic in a prior life. I’ve had two families whose kids killed themselves during and after high school because of the shit situation their parents put themselves in. And to the poster who said it only affects teens, no, they were much younger when the parents were divorced.
You’re looking for the easy way out, you found temptation, and you ran with it. You covet what you see. You’re not focusing on your wife and I’m not going to change your decision. Good luck. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:04 PM Author: honey-headed box office mad-dog skullcap so you started counseling, then started fucking behind your wife's back, and you've convinced yourself you've actually tried the shit you learned in counseling?? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34479003) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:52 PM Author: Mind-boggling Affirmative Action Lol assuming you will get 50/50 custody.
First, you NEVER admit to having a side piece. Ever. Even if she remarries, you NEVER bring the new gf to child exchanges, court hearings or anything.
In SoCal you by default will get alternate weekends, and a midweek visit from 5-8 pm. That's what you will get if she doesn't DVTRO pwn you which is pretty much guaranteed if she's already hostile.
Alternate weekends is 20% custody. If you get DVTRO pwnd you won't see your kids for weeks, maybe months before you get supervised visitation or 5% custody.
To get 50% you have to show you are a 50% parent. My money says you aren't.
You have to be MOVED OUT before you serve her papers and then only communicate via text or email and never be alone with her again. Exchange the kids in a public place like McDonalds.
That's all the advice I'm giving this JM flame. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:58 PM Author: grizzly den Surprised to see the assumption of alternate weekends.
I'm kind of banking on 50/50. I think if I could only get alternate weekends then the cost is too high and I'll probably suck it up and just live with an unhappy relationship as others have suggested.
Most of the recent decisions I've seen suggest more equitable custodial arrangements. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:59 PM Author: thirsty sienna degenerate Your wife is currently stay at home mom if she's not contributing financially? You're going to get beyond f****d. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476181) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:02 PM Author: grizzly den How does her workload change the custody analysis?
I'd concede she's the primary caretaker. I would propose she has them on weeks and me on weekends. I was hoping for Friday night through Monday morning.
I never work weekends and always leave early on Fridays. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:28 PM Author: transparent gaping It wouldn't be fair for you to get every weekend, moron. The kids will get older and be in school during the week, so she's going to deserve and get some weekends, too. I mean, really? Yeah, she gets to do all the actual weekday work with the school hustle while you get the fun and relaxing weekends.
Annnyway, unless a marriage is a disaster (abuse, excessive cheating, excessive dishonesty about money or anything crucial) then you're literally just bored and will be bored again in 5-8 years with the new woman.
Also stop saying "wifey" you fag. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:38 PM Author: trip navy theater turdskin CR lol at thinking he'll get all the fun days. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476429) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:39 PM Author: grizzly den I would also do one week on and one week off, or even take the inverse and have the kids all week with her getting them on weekends. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476434) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:40 PM Author: thirsty sienna degenerate LOL 1 week on 1 week off, your kids are going to feel homeless!
Who would take care of them on weekdays? Your new GF LOL. Or you're going to pay for old wife, gf, + nanny/daycare? |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:43 PM Author: grizzly den Ok well it's kind of silly for us to debate my work schedule. Let's just assume I have some flexibility. I'm not at a LAWL firm.
|
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:52 PM Author: thirsty sienna degenerate your best case is alternate weekends ape. more likely that your wife just makes sure your kids hate you and don't want to see you at all of course. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476545) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:10 AM Author: grizzly den Others have suggested that custody would more likely be 50/50. Lots of recent case law in various states suggests that, too. If you have some reason or basis for thinking otherwise I'd like to hear it.
I would certainly never try to turn the kids against their mother; we don't get along very well but I don't think she'd take affirmative steps that would hurt the kids just to try to hurt me. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:15 AM Author: garnet outnumbered chapel cuckoldry My understanding is that in cases where the mother has been the primary caregiver its more likely that she'll get something like 9-12 days per fortnight and you'll get the rest. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476679) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:25 AM Author: grizzly den Right, I could live with her getting 9 and me 5 every fortnight (which is numerically similar to every weekend) but her getting 12 is more like me getting every other weekend which is a disaster.
I was kind of hoping to get more feedback from the LAWL board on this point, really. Divorce lawyers will just lie to me about prospects to encourage litigation. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:01 PM Author: Mind-boggling Affirmative Action You sound like every single one of my former delusional male clients. You want your cake and to eat it, too.
This is what is going to happen to you:
DVTRO pwnd. Somewhere between 5% and 20% custody. Kids will hate you because wife will poison them. Wife will hire very aggressive lawyer and write stuff about you that makes Hitler look like Mother Teresa. You will come across as angry and arrogant in court despite your best effort. You will rant and rant about how unjust the family court system is and how it favors women. You and mistress will not work out. You will be alone, giving half paycheck to wife who has remarried and seeing your kids, who hate you and blame you for the divorce, once every two weeks. Autoadmit will be your sole source of diversion and friendship. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 10:54 PM Author: Pearl Geriatric Institution JUST TAKE THOSE OLD RECORDS OFF THE SHELF (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476142) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:28 PM Author: demanding swashbuckling church building PSA TO EVERYONE ITT: ONLY FAGS SAY "WIFEY". Hth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476383) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:30 PM Author: transparent gaping Thank you! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476392) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:30 PM Author: Talented submissive jewess better or worse than saying partner? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476394) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:31 PM Author: demanding swashbuckling church building Worse actually. Partner is just weird. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476404) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:36 PM Author: Pearl Geriatric Institution (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476423) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 10:16 AM Author: Mustard shrine potus (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478244) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:31 PM Author: garnet outnumbered chapel cuckoldry As someone once said - a man who marries his mistress creates a job vacancy. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476400) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 8:10 AM Author: exhilarant sable library doctorate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477701) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:33 PM Author: excitant love of her life Have you considered that maybe your wife is doing the same thing behind your back?
Maybe you both want the same thing and don't want to harm the kids. If she's nasty to you, maybe it's because she's got a sidepiece of her own and doesn't care very much for you. Just a crazy theory. |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:45 PM Author: grizzly den I've considered that, yes. If that were the case then I would double down on my view, which is that we're both unhappy and living a sham marriage, so let's try to find a way out that minimizes impact on the kids.
I'd need a smoking gun, though, as she'd never admit to it.
|
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:34 PM Author: garnet outnumbered chapel cuckoldry This sounds like a terrible idea. I cannot add to the comments of those above who share my view. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476417) |
|
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:53 PM Author: impertinent canary stag film lettuce “After all,” said Clare. “they had a right to happiness.”
We were discussing something that once happened in our own neighborhood. Mr. A. had deserted Mrs. A. and got his divorce in order to marry Mrs. B., who had likewise got her divorce in order to marry Mr. A. And there was certainly no doubt that Mr. A. and Mrs. B. were very much in love with one another. If they continued to be in love, and if nothing went wrong with their health or their income, they might reasonably expect to be very happy.
It was equally clear that they were not happy with their old partners. Mrs. B. had adored her husband at the outset. But then he got smashed up in the war. It was thought he had lost his virility, and it was known that he had lost his job. Life with him was no longer what Mrs. B. had bargained for. Poor Mrs. A., too. She had lost her looks—and all her liveliness. It might be true, as some said, that she consumed herself by bearing his children and nursing him through the long illness that overshadowed their earlier married life.
You mustn’t, by the way, imagine that A. was the sort of man who nonchalantly threw a wife away like the peel of an orange he’d sucked dry. Her suicide was a terrible shock to him. We all knew this, for he told us so himself. “But what could I do?” he said. “A man has a right to happiness. I had to take my one chance when it came.”
I went away thinking about the concept of a “right to happiness.”
At first this sounds to me as odd as a right to good luck. For I believe—whatever one school of moralists may say—that we depend for a very great deal of our happiness or misery on circumstances outside all human control. A right to happiness doesn’t, for me, make much more sense than a right to be six feet tall, or have a millionaire for your father, or to get good weather whenever you want to have a picnic.
I can understand a right as a freedom guaranteed me by the laws of the society I live in. Thus, I have a right to travel along the public roads because society gives me that freedom; that’s what we mean by calling the roads “public.” I can also understand a right as a claim guaranteed me by the laws, and correlative to an obligation on someone else’s part. If I have a right to receive $100 from you, this is another way of saying that you have a duty to pay me $100. If the laws allow Mr. A. to desert his wife and seduce his neighbor’s wife, then, by definition, Mr. A. has a legal right to do so, and we need bring in no talk about happiness.
But of course that was not what Clare meant. She meant that he had not only a legal but a moral right to act as he did. In other words, Clare is—or would be if she thought it out—a classical moralist after the style of Thomas Aquinas, Grotius, Hooker and Locke. She believes that behind the laws of the state there is a Natural Law.
I agree with her. I hold this conception to be basic to all civilization. Without it, the actual laws of the state become an absolute, as in Hegel. They cannot be criticized because there is no norm against which they should be judged.
The ancestry of Clare’s maxim. “They have a right to happiness,” is august. In words that are cherished by all civilized men, but especially by Americans, it has been laid down that one of the rights of man is a right to “the pursuit of happiness.” And now we get to the real point.
What did the writers of that august declaration mean?
It is quite certain what they did not mean. They did not mean that man was entitled to pursue happiness by any and every means—including, say, murder, rape, robbery, treason and fraud. No society could be built on such a basis.
They meant “to pursue happiness by all lawful means”; that is, by all means which the Law of Nature eternally sanctions and which the laws of the nation shall sanction.
Admittedly this seems at first to reduce their maxim to the tautology that men (in pursuit of happiness) have a right to do whatever they have a right to do. But tautologies, seen against their proper historical context, are not always barren tautologies. The declaration is primarily a denial of the political principles which long governed Europe; a challenge flung down to the Austrian and Russian empires, to England before the Reform Bills, to Bourbon France. It demands that whatever means of pursuing happiness are lawful for any should be lawful for alll that “man,” not men of some particular cast, class, status or religion, should be free to use them. In a century when this is being unsaid by nation after nation and party after party, let us not call it a barren tautology.
But the question as to what means are “lawful”—what methods of pursuing happiness are either morally permissible by the Law of Nature or should be declared legally permissible by the legislature of a particular nation—remains exactly where it did. And on that question I disagree with Clare. I don’t think it is obvious that people have the unlimited “right to happiness” which she suggests.
For one thing, I believe that Clare, when she says “happiness,” means simply and solely “sexual happiness.” Partly because women like Clare never use the word “happiness” in any other sense. But also because I never heard Clare talk about the “right” to any other kind. She was rather leftist in her politics, and would have been scandalized if anyone had defended the actions of a ruthless man-eating tycoon on the ground that his happiness consisted in making money and he was pursuing his happiness. She was also a rabid teetotaler; I never heard her excuse an alcoholic because he was happy when he was drunk.
A good many of Clare’s friends, and especially her female friends, often felt—I’ve heard them say so—that their own happiness would be perceptibly increased by boxing her ears. I very much doubt if this would have brought her theory of a right to happiness into play.
Clare, in fact, is doing what the whole western world seems to me to have been doing for the last 40-odd years. When I was a youngster, all the progressive people were saying, “Why all this prudery? Let us treat sex just as we treat all our other impulses.” I was simple-minded enough to believe they meant what they said. I have since discovered that they meant exactly the opposite. They meant that sex was to be treated as no other impulse in our nature has ever been treated by civilized people. All the others, we admit, have to be bridled. Absolute obedience to your instinct for self-preservation is what we call cowardice; to your acquisitive impulse, avarice. Even sleep must be resisted if you’re a sentry. But every unkindness and breach of faith seems to be condoned provided that the object aimed at is “four bare legs in a bed.”
It is like having a morality in which stealing fruit is considered wrong—unless you steal nectarines.
And if you protest against this view you are usually met with chatter about the legitimacy and beauty and sanctity of “sex” and accused of harboring some Puritan prejudice against it as something disreputable or shameful. I deny the charge. Foam-born Venus … golden Aphrodite … Our Lady of Cyprus… I never breathed a word against you. If I object to boys who steal my nectarines, must I be supposed to disapprove of nectarines in general? Or even of boys in general? It might, you know, be stealing that I disapproved of.
The real situation is skillfully concealed by saying that the question of Mr. A’s “right” to desert his wife is one of “sexual morality.” Robbing an orchard is not an offense against some special morality called “fruit morality.” It is an offense against honesty. Mr. A’s action is an offense against good faith (to solemn promises), against gratitude (toward one to whom he was deeply indebted) and against common humanity.
Our sexual impulses are thus being put in a position of preposterous privilege. The sexual motive is taken to condone all sorts of behavior which, if it had any other end in view, would be condemned as merciless, treacherous and unjust.
Now though I see no good reason for giving sex this privilege, I think I see a strong cause. It is this.
It is part of the nature of a strong erotic passion—as distinct from a transient fit of appetite—that makes more towering promises than any other emotion. No doubt all our desires makes promises, but not so impressively. To be in love involves the almost irresistible conviction that one will go on being in love until one dies, and that possession of the beloved will confer, not merely frequent ecstasies, but settled, fruitful, deep-rooted, lifelong happiness. Hence all seems to be at stake. If we miss this chance we shall have lived in vain. At the very thought of such a doom we sink into fathomless depths of self-pity.
Unfortunately these promises are found often to be quite untrue. Every experienced adult knows this to be so as regards all erotic passions (except the one he himself is feeling at the moment). We discount the world-without-end pretensions of our friends’ amours easily enough. We know that such things sometimes last—and sometimes don’t. And when they do last, this is not because they promised at the outset to do so. When two people achieve lasting happiness, this is not solely because they are great lovers but because they are also—I must put it crudely—good people; controlled, loyal, fair-minded, mutually adaptable people.
If we establish a “right to (sexual) happiness” which supersedes all the ordinary rules of behavior, we do so not because of what our passion shows itself to be in experience but because of what it professes to be while we are in the grip of it. Hence, while the bad behavior is real and works miseries and degradations, the happiness which was the object of the behavior turns out again and again to be illusory. Everyone (except Mr. A. and Mrs. B.) knows that Mr. A. in a year or so may have the same reason for deserting his new wife as for deserting his old. He will feel again that all is at stake. He will see himself again as the great lover, and his pity for himself will exclude all pity for the woman.
Two further points remain.
One is this. A society in which conjugal infidelity is tolerated must always be in the long run a society adverse to women. Women, whatever a few male songs and satires may say to the contrary, are more naturally monogamous than men; it is a biological necessity. Where promiscuity prevails, they will therefore always be more often the victims than the culprits. Also, domestic happiness is more necessary to them than to us. And the quality by which they most easily hold a man, their beauty, decreases every year after they have come to maturity, but this does not happen to those qualities of personality —women don’t really care two cents about our looks—by which we hold women. Thus in the ruthless war of promiscuity women are at a double disadvantage. They play for higher stakes and are also more likely to lose. I have no sympathy with moralists who frown at the increasing crudity of female provocativeness. These signs of desperate competition fill me with pity.
Secondly, though the “right to happiness” is chiefly claimed for the sexual impulse, it seems to be impossible that the matter should stay there. The fatal principle, once allowed in that department, must sooner or later seep through our whole lives. We thus advance toward a state of society in which not only each man but every impulse in each man claims carte blanche. And then, though our technological skill may help us survive a little longer, our civilization will have died at heart, and will—one dare not even add “unfortunately”—be swept away.
|
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:02 AM Author: amber charismatic idiot hospital (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476607) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:08 AM Author: trip navy theater turdskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476635) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:14 AM Author: grizzly den Seems like the illustrative story is a strawman. The characters are hopelessly one-dimensional (war hero that has lost his virility; mother that has sacrificed her beauty and value).
My facts are not the same as my wife/wifey/m'lady is in fact very attractive.
I also think this whole tale assumes out of hand that women need men to be happy, and forgets that often women are the unappy members seeking divorce (as is typically the case). |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:15 AM Author: trip navy theater turdskin Women initiating divorce doesn't really prove women don't need men. It just suggests they believe they can get a better man by divorcing (a belief that routinely proves quite false). (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476681) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:29 AM Author: razzmatazz greedy meetinghouse indirect expression why is this author equating sex with a relationship? it was going good until that part. as a longtime marriedmo, i increasingly have found sex to be less important than the other aspects of our relationship.
what matters in a relationship is that you have a partner who respects you, supports you, understands you, and makes your life better by being in it. once you have kids, it's a partnership to raise them as best you can. that's the purpose of the relationship. everything else is a distant second. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:43 PM Author: honey-headed box office mad-dog skullcap he isn't
he's saying: sex + relationship = marriage and relationship=respect, support, etc |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 7:54 AM Author: Stimulating lodge 180 million. the only untrue thing in it is "women don’t really care two cents about our looks", which is a pretty good batting average. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477654) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 8:17 AM Author: Motley locale (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477723) |
|
Date: November 17th, 2017 2:00 AM Author: razzle jade garrison (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34707166) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:45 AM Author: ocher cracking sanctuary It's ok to divorce wife as long as you do it with the expectation that mistress wont work out and you're ok with that (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34476865) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:47 AM Author: garnet outnumbered chapel cuckoldry The prognosis is not good for the second marriage:
- guy who is willing to cheat on his wife and mother of children and then leave them for younger girl;
marries
- girl who is willing to cheat with a married man and break up a family;
Not exactly a pair of people you can see being highly committed to fidelity in their marriage. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 1:44 AM Author: ocher cracking sanctuary I get the sense mistress is young and dumb, not actively trying to break up family. I bet if she knew the full extent of what was going on she'd dip the fk out (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477148) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 10:17 AM Author: Mustard shrine potus Happened with a good friend of mine earlier this year. Left wife and two kids to be with a mistress, then broke up with mistress before the divorce was even finalized. Now lives in a 1BR apt. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478251) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 1:13 AM Author: Plum Mewling Hall This is one of those drunk fantasies that you should definitely not go through with. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477024) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 1:31 AM Author: cream aphrodisiac house codepig in this clusterfuck of a thread: the Jenna Haze definitive biography chapter 1
also, shame on the OP for this. this fucker needs to atone like Cersei Lannister and strip down and have Rachmiel shadow him to remind him every second of his massive shame |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 2:05 AM Author: big roast beef chad Dude, you really need to reevaluate your priorities, as posters above said. You brought these kids into the world, not some stork. Doing this is going to literally rock their world, and they'll never recover. You gave up the chance to pursue the "happiest" life for yourself when you had kids; that's YOUR reality. Be a man and live with that; don't fuck up their world because someone else would improve your own life. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477203) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 4:33 AM Author: Zombie-like marvelous theater stage gay wizard Why the fuck does he have to be married in order to raise his niglets well? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477491) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 4:19 AM Author: avocado nubile boiling water corn cake I remember reading a detailed longitudinal study that showed that while divorce is bad for kids, staying in a high-conflict marriage is worse. If you think that you can patch things up with your wife, that's the best-case scenario for the kids, but if that hasn't happened after two years of therapy, that may be a pipe dream. And if that's the case, it may be better for your kids to divorce rather than staying in a high-conflict marriage. I have no idea what effect it will have on your finances and what visitation rights would be like, so I can't help you there. Good luck. Personally I would be inclined to marry the mistress because that gives you access to younger pussy for much more of your life, but I'm also a scumbag, so you shouldn't necessarily listen to me. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477475) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:46 PM Author: honey-headed box office mad-dog skullcap "I remember reading a detailed longitudinal study that showed that while divorce is bad for kids, staying in a high-conflict marriage is worse."
false dichotomy - the husband ALWAYS has the choice to sacrifice his own happiness and become henpecked in order to keep his kids unfucked
high conflict marriage implies man putting his desires above his kids |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 5:03 AM Author: Copper market masturbator Yeah, man. Because getting your dick sucked by a different chick is worth more than the emotional and financial well-being of your children. They'll understand that and be happy for you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477509) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 5:54 AM Author: lascivious mental disorder maybe i missed it but i didnt see much talk about WHY the wife is so bad (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477549) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 7:27 AM Author: exhilarant sable library doctorate Your kids will be permanently fucked up by the fact that you chose sex with a younger woman over keeping your family together.
Instead of spending time fucking your mistress maybe you should try counselling w your wife and family time w your children. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 8:10 AM Author: magenta rehab Threads and analyses like this make me so sad. Recall that right now you are not comparing two things, your wife and your mistress, in the appropriate light. Let's put the analogy in different terms: the car you own v. the car you rent. The car you own is a pain--the mileage is running up, the oil changes seem never ending, the tires keep wearing out and you dump money into new ones only to see one go flat again. And then you get in a rental, and it's a dream--it's fresh, it's clean, you never have to maintain it. And suddenly, you think, "Why am I such a sucker? I'll just buy this rental." ...of course, you never suddenly think that. Because you know that when you buy the rental, you'll suddenly have to take ownership of all of the things that come along with it, all of the hidden costs that were absorbed by the company that you never dealt with in your temporary relationship with that car. Your wife may seem like a drag and a pain, but it is because you are a child (here I'll get a little insulting) who is incapable of doing the hard, gritty work necessary to make a tough relationship work. The day-to-day of life can make things tough, miserable, and seemingly unbearable. But you can't even start to compare it to your mistress. Your mistress doesn't have these issues because she isn't really a part of your life yet, and when she is a part of your life, the same issues will recur, albeit perhaps in different forms or intensity. I'll just echo the selfishness points of others in this thread, but my tiny contribution here is to say you're doing the comparison all wrong, and I hope you can take a moment to reflect on that fact. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 8:11 AM Author: exhilarant sable library doctorate CR analysis (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477704) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:53 AM Author: Mind-boggling Affirmative Action (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478938) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 8:13 AM Author: Motley locale (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477711) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 10:03 AM Author: lascivious mental disorder (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478160) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 10:12 AM Author: Passionate Low-t Old Irish Cottage awesome analogy, ive never heard it before. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478223) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 10:21 AM Author: diverse shitlib You've heard about the Rule of the 3 F's?
If it flies, floats or fucks, rent - don't buy. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:52 PM Author: Passionate Low-t Old Irish Cottage that poast was a little more nuanced than the 3Fs (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34479357) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 10:19 AM Author: sooty genital piercing *Screenshot* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478257) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 8:15 AM Author: black keepsake machete piazza go find another lover, to string along (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477717) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 9:20 AM Author: laughsome theatre People in this thread using the word "wifey" should be shot.
|
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 9:34 AM Author: Painfully Honest Cruel-hearted Antidepressant Drug Step-uncle's House Everyone in this thread should be shot including myself (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34477976) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 9:31 AM Author: diverse shitlib I've got a marriage like the Vietnam war, so I've been in the shit, and here's my thoughts:
1) "Tale as old as time" is from Beauty and the Beast. Watch that movie, it didn't work out too well for the Beast: he went from having his own place, fucking shit up, being all alpha and awesome to having to clean up, wearing pants, and eventually almost getting killed by some beta orbiter. The worst thing that ever happened to the Beast was Belle, think about that.
2) I'll be curious how this works out. While you have to know that relationships that start out this way have a lower percentage of working out, it is not unheard of to find another woman, leave your wife, and for things to work out. Just because something bad could happen doesn't mean it will, and maybe this works out for you.
3) You have to come to peace with the fact that you're going to get fleeced in this divorce. Accept it, pay the alimony and sanctions, and be happy. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 10:35 AM Author: Amethyst spectacular station scourge upon the earth Sounds like someone has been thinking through his options. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478377) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 10:37 AM Author: diverse shitlib troof (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478393) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 10:41 AM Author: supple kitchen marketing idea This sounds like it's in everyone's best interests: Your kids get to be raised by their loving mom, and not by a soulless sociopath like you. The mom will get a good deal financially in the divorce, so she and your kids will be set. She'll eventually remarry someone who either a)actually loves her or b) is better-looking/richer. You'll get the "freedom" to "smash young cunnus" for a while, until you get sick of your mistress, too, and dump her, too. Your mistress will get the joy of having you all to herself until you guys inevitably cheat on one another or otherwise split. And best of all, you'll eventually gain the wisdom of knowing that divorce in these sorts of circumstances is almost never a good idea. Perhaps you'll post and share your experience with another future poster who will find himself in a similar situation someday. |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:38 PM Author: Startled national security agency dog poop (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34479255) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 10:42 AM Author: mauve pungent whorehouse sweet tailpipe i hate to break this to you, but your mistress is only "nice and kind" because you aren't married to her and you don't live with her. wait until you see the massive bitch-cunt she becomes once you're divorced and locked down and she switches over to "mission accomplished" mode. the rest of your life will be filled with regret over losing your kids forever to trade one harpy cunt for another. enjoy! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478424) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 10:43 AM Author: diverse shitlib wisdom in this post (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478438) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:54 AM Author: Mind-boggling Affirmative Action (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478953) |
|
Date: July 19th, 2019 4:21 PM Author: coral curious business firm Sure, but I also think that relationships with family, friends, and co-workers are a huge tell. If a woman doesn't have a solid circle of close friends that she cultivates (i.e., she is kind and nice and generous in relationships with other people), it would be unreasonable to expect her to be nice and kind in a relationship with you. There are good women out there. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#38557749) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:32 AM Author: Histrionic beta mediation pocket flask You ever wonder how you get guys who have 6 divorces? This is how. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478814) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:34 AM Author: sooty genital piercing Credited. Look what happened to Don Draper after he married Megan. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478828) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:59 AM Author: Ebony stain temple (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478983) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:38 AM Author: Heady gas station TTIWWOP (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478845) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:33 PM Author: sinister tripping ticket booth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34479205) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:38 AM Author: honey-headed box office mad-dog skullcap Don't do it. Divorce is a contagious blood disease, and once you start the cycle, you're dooming generations of your descendants to failed marriages. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478848) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:53 AM Author: honey-headed box office mad-dog skullcap also op i can almost guarantee you the problem is at least half your fault and not all wife
you're probably doing some selfish shit you don't think she cares about as much as she actually does, like not washing dishes right after using them, little things that wives care 100x more about than husbands, but it's so easy to fix |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 11:58 AM Author: Fragrant Fishy Location (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34478977) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:08 PM Author: bearded hell candlestick maker if things were really so bad w/ your wife, and you weren't a pussy, you'd end things with the mistress and divorce your wife (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34479023) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:27 PM Author: multi-colored headpube ape Great thread. Next time the media lights us up, link to this thread and show we're traditional family values people (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34479149) |
|
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:45 PM Author: Amethyst spectacular station scourge upon the earth Why not just keep her as a side piece? Maybe your wife is the type who is fine with it as long as it's not flaunted. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34479305) |
|
Date: November 17th, 2017 1:45 AM Author: Electric Territorial State Gunner (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#34707112) |
|
Date: July 19th, 2019 4:10 PM Author: indigo crackhouse cuckold Update? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#38557715) |
|
Date: July 19th, 2019 4:11 PM Author: pale orchestra pit I'm sure everything turned out fine. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#38557718) |
|
Date: July 19th, 2019 4:30 PM Author: razzle jade garrison (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#38557773) |
|
Date: July 24th, 2019 11:13 PM Author: grizzly den Thanks for the human concern. It would be great if you had any actual concern, as opposed to mere snark, but here we are.
In any event: left the mistress. Stayed with the wife. She continues to take, take, take, and display no interest in partnership or building something together as a team. Kids are starting to notice something is amiss but are still young and naive.
I stayed because my kids are my primary joy in life and I couldn't bear to see them less, and because I couldn't ascertain the negative impact on them by and through a divorce.
My general view on things moving forward: who knows how long it will last. Likely we end up divorced anyway. How to deal with a partner that doesn't feel any sense of fairness? How to form a team with a partner that opts out? Many things to say but few on this site will understand. Frankly I think blowing it up at a young age for the kids and moving forward aggressively may have been better but we'll see if relationship repair (on the third attempt) works out.
My XOXO view: I'm surprised to learn that had I painted myself as more of a victim my message would have been more well received. I expect that in the general populace but not here on this nerdsite.
|
|
Date: July 24th, 2019 11:26 PM Author: boyish pistol office I still think you made the right choice. You have to take control of your own kids, and courts would have completely fucked you. Maybe replace wife's SSRIs with placebos? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#38584262) |
|
Date: July 25th, 2019 12:01 AM Author: Chrome anal toaster Wow no offense but you sound like a huge massive faggot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#38584493) |
|
Date: July 25th, 2019 11:26 AM Author: pale orchestra pit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#38586320) |
|
Date: July 25th, 2019 12:30 AM Author: Razzle-dazzle henna stage Tell your wife you’d rather get fucked in the ass (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#38584655) |
|
Date: July 25th, 2019 11:57 AM Author: cerebral well-lubricated lay That sounds terrible bro. I've been there on toxic relationships, but fortunately we had no kids so I could jump ship and did so.
Truly sorry for your situation. You may be on to something regarding divorcing now while the kids are young. Growing up in a household with poorly matched parents may be even worse for the kids.
Maybe try counseling? I dunno man. Good luck. |
|
Date: July 25th, 2019 12:00 PM Author: beady-eyed therapy "best of luck, brah" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768244&forum_id=2#38586484) |
|
Date: July 25th, 2019 12:08 PM Author: Lemon judgmental address 1) have you and wife been to counseling? Is she seeing a therapist on her own? Are you? Are either of you currently on any mental health meds?
2) how old are kids now? The analysis of effect on kids seems hugely dependent on their own personalities and how well they deal with change/challenges, how much resilience they exhibit, etc. Has oldest (have both?) changed schools from pre-school to KG and if so how’d that go?
I hadn’t seen this thread before today and am interested in your situation for my own reasons:
http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=4247129&mc=65&forum_id=2
http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&mc=103&forum_id=2
|