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Rate and critique the first paragraph of the novel i started 5 minutes ago

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naked green fortuitous meteor
  11/23/17
I don't like books that begin self aware like this
Ivory concupiscible principal's office
  11/23/17
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Fantasy-prone Psychic Area
  11/23/17
couldnt make it to the end of the first sentence
Vivacious ultramarine idea he suggested gas station
  11/23/17
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Fantasy-prone Psychic Area
  11/23/17
Please stop
charismatic pozpig theater stage
  11/23/17
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Fantasy-prone Psychic Area
  11/23/17
So should I just give up on the lemony snicket schtick?
naked green fortuitous meteor
  11/23/17
...
Fantasy-prone Psychic Area
  11/23/17
...
naked green fortuitous meteor
  11/23/17


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Date: November 23rd, 2017 11:01 PM
Author: naked green fortuitous meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3807322&forum_id=2#34759454)



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Date: November 23rd, 2017 11:01 PM
Author: Ivory concupiscible principal's office

I don't like books that begin self aware like this

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3807322&forum_id=2#34759455)



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Date: November 23rd, 2017 11:06 PM
Author: Fantasy-prone Psychic Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3807322&forum_id=2#34759489)



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Date: November 23rd, 2017 11:02 PM
Author: Vivacious ultramarine idea he suggested gas station

couldnt make it to the end of the first sentence

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3807322&forum_id=2#34759459)



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Date: November 23rd, 2017 11:06 PM
Author: Fantasy-prone Psychic Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3807322&forum_id=2#34759492)



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Date: November 23rd, 2017 11:02 PM
Author: charismatic pozpig theater stage

Please stop

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3807322&forum_id=2#34759466)



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Date: November 23rd, 2017 11:07 PM
Author: Fantasy-prone Psychic Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3807322&forum_id=2#34759493)



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Date: November 23rd, 2017 11:06 PM
Author: naked green fortuitous meteor

So should I just give up on the lemony snicket schtick?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3807322&forum_id=2#34759488)



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Date: November 23rd, 2017 11:06 PM
Author: Fantasy-prone Psychic Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3807322&forum_id=2#34759491)



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Date: November 23rd, 2017 11:13 PM
Author: naked green fortuitous meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3807322&forum_id=2#34759542)