I‘m not big into buying heroin for myself, let alone anyone else, which is why I refuse to give panhandlers cash. But I figured I could use the help loading the pipe into my vehicle so I offered the guy $4 or $5 in change for his assistance.

Once the pipes were loaded, a job lasting no more than 90 seconds, his entire demeanor changed. He said “that was work. I want to get paid.” I thought I’d misunderstood, so I laughed and asked if he was talking to me, as he’d just received $4 for 90 seconds of labor, which works out to a rate of $160 per hour.

“Yeah I’m talking to you motherfucker, I want to get paid. That was work. You better give me $20!” Apparently unsatisfied with $160, he’s expecting $800 per hour. Not only is this man not a bum, he’s obviously a cardiothoracic surgeon or similar at that hourly rate.

I stood my ground, signaling to this man that I was unintimidated and willing to engage in fisticuffs should the situation deteriorate to that point, though admittedly I would quite literally turn tail and run before engaging in fisticuffs with a homeless man. Instead, my plan was to simply pull my 9mm Kimber and hope he wasn’t suicidal. Either way, the last thing I’m going to do is get into an evenly matched fistfight with a guy who has nothing to lose. Fucker probably has a shiv and an assortment of transmissible diseases, plus three hits and a cot is a hell of a lot better setup than living in the woods or bouncing from shelter to shelter or whatever he’s doing to get by now.

We went back and forth for a minute or two. He made threats as I continued trying to defuse the situation but thankfully never escalated.

After bitching for another minute, he backed down and walked into the store. A homeless man doesn’t have much use for a home improvement store, so I told as many staff members as would listen that he was liable to cause trouble and was almost certainly planning to steal things.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3824120&forum_id=2#34884852)

Ready to lay shots nonstop until I see your monkey-ass drop

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3824120&forum_id=2#34888294)

I'm stealing this line.

also ljl @ being in town for "surgery" and hanging out in a parking lot. Perhaps you should have inquired if a man in his medical condition should really be doing manual labor.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3824120&forum_id=2#34893097)

I was once carrying a 10mm Glock under my winter coat when a violent schizophrenic started screaming at me for being in his “living room.” I was standing near this homeless hangout next to my old apartments, which apparently he believed to be his living room. I just calmly stood my ground while he and his buddy approached. We stared one another down for a minute, then he extended his hand, explained that it had been a case of mistaken identity, and wished me a Merry Christmas.

Another time the same dude yelled “fuck you, cunt” at this girl as she and her boyfriend rode by on their bikes. The dude, who was bald and fairly muscular, skidded to a stop, picked up his bike like a weapon, and began running circles around this dude while barking like a dog. Despite being in the throes of violent schizophrenia, the homeless man just kind of backed off, knowing he’d been outcrazied.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3824120&forum_id=2#34894001)