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attending a Jewish service tonight. Taking advice.
Poast new message in this thread
Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:39 PM Author: crawly piazza my father-in-law is being honored at his conservative synagogue for his long history of support of various charitable causes. I am being forced to attend, along with my wife, because of this big moment.
I am not Jewish. I hope I can get away with wearing a classic Florida Marlins hat (with the "F" and the teal) instead of a yarmulke because I feel silly wearing the latter. I'm dressed in a button-down shirt, khakis, and sneakers. I'm told Friday services are less formal, dress-wise, than Saturday services. |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:43 PM Author: coral tanning salon protip: nobody will give a fuck. this isn't iran; there arent dress code enforcers at synagogues. you might look odd in a baseball cap. fuck, you might be better off just not even wearing a kippah. nobody's going to make you wear a kippah. but just put one on, it's just a sign of respect for your FIL. it's prole for any grown man to be wearing a baseball cap in public unless he's playing sports, period, let alone wear one at a place of worship.
also, conservative synagogues are dying. nobody will be there other than olds and boomers. you might be noticed anyway, but who cares? |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:45 PM Author: crawly piazza porkpie hat or classic Marlins hat? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471924) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:46 PM Author: coral tanning salon kippah > nothing > porkpie > marlins (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471929) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:49 PM Author: crawly piazza (member of the 2003 Yankees) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471950) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:49 PM Author: coral tanning salon that was painful :( (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471951) |
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Date: February 25th, 2018 4:04 AM Author: rose site (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35482204) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:47 PM Author: Sinister marvelous multi-billionaire * wears Van Dutch hat * (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471934) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:47 PM Author: coral tanning salon might as well wear a I'M A PROLE t-shirt (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471938) |
Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:42 PM Author: Vengeful hyperventilating fat ankles business firm Don't wear a sports team hat, they will see you as prole
wear a cr hat if you have one |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:43 PM Author: crawly piazza I own a porkpie hat (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471899) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:44 PM Author: Vengeful hyperventilating fat ankles business firm hmmm, actually, ask DBG's advice I don't know how that would do poast the hat? |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:46 PM Author: coral tanning salon you'll also look odd wearing a hat at a conservative shul. if you were going to an ortho shul, people wear all sorts of hats there and it'd be fine. but people at conservative shuls dont wear hats and you'd look out of place. but again, who cares. nobody will. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471926) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:44 PM Author: maroon maniacal whorehouse kitty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471913) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:53 PM Author: outnumbered laughsome market kitty cat Is it sort of an understated color, or is it a "hey look at me I play trombone in a 90s swing revival band" kind of hat? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471981) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:57 PM Author: crawly piazza it's a very understated porkpie hat (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472016) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:10 PM Author: outnumbered laughsome market kitty cat As long as you keep a somber face like this bro you'll probably be fine: https://www.wrongweather.net/fileManager/produtos/kit-neale-polished-felt-pork-pie-orange-hat_24872.jpg (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472137) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:13 PM Author: crawly piazza it's not even brightly colored - it's like a dark green porkpie hat (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472164) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:42 PM Author: iridescent stage Take some notes on the top farters and report back, please. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471895) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:50 PM Author: coral tanning salon i think of you EVERY time i see a woman go for the cholent at the kiddush lunch on saturday morning. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471956) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:13 PM Author: blue affirmative action trailer park (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472166) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:51 PM Author: Curious hall candlestick maker does op need to at least wear some kind of hat? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471968) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:52 PM Author: coral tanning salon no, that's my point. he SHOULD just to be respectful to his FIL and to synagogue generally. but a prole marlins cap is worse than nothing imo. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471975) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:58 PM Author: drab boltzmann 1. No Hat 2. Khakis, light blue button down, blue blazer, brown loafers (offical WASP uniform) 3. Profit |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:59 PM Author: crawly piazza I own every article of clothing you mention (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472037) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:00 PM Author: coral tanning salon wasps wear khakis or khaki colored wool slacks? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472043) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:02 PM Author: drab boltzmann We leave details like that to the Jew lawyers. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472066) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:03 PM Author: coral tanning salon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472073) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:04 PM Author: multi-colored bat shit crazy locale During the service scatter pocket change on the floor for comic relief (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472081) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:05 PM Author: coral tanning salon talmud says lost pocket change is considered abandoned property and belongs to anyone who picks it up (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472095) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:06 PM Author: multi-colored bat shit crazy locale Talmud also says you should kill all goyim. Pls hurry. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472101) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:09 PM Author: coral tanning salon not all goyim, just canaanites (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472131) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:14 PM Author: crawly piazza fuck, wife vetoed the Marlins hat. I can't find my porkpie hat - it's in a box somewhere that I never unpacked when we moved in.
gonna be stuck wearing a yarmulke :( |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:15 PM Author: coral tanning salon http://www.theemblemsource.com/miami-marlins-kippah-pro-kippah.html (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472192) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:17 PM Author: crawly piazza that's a MIAMI Marlins - I am talking FLORIDA Marlins
https://www.lids.com/florida-marlins-new-era-mlb-cooperstown-low-profile-59fifty-cap/20948640 |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:19 PM Author: coral tanning salon you'll have to make due with the new logo, i guess (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472227) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:17 PM Author: blue affirmative action trailer park It is really best to just wear the kippah. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472210) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:18 PM Author: crawly piazza it feels like cultural appropriation though. the yarmulke clearly belongs to one culture. the 1997 and 2003 Florida Marlins attracted a wide and diverse following, they belong to all the people of South Florida AND also to the millions nation wide who were inspired by their scrappy underdog tale (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472220) |
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Date: February 24th, 2018 10:25 PM Author: coral tanning salon update? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35480990) |
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Date: February 24th, 2018 10:30 PM Author: crawly piazza So my wife nixed the Marlins hat. I couldn't find my porkpie hat. I had to wear a yarmulke that came out of a box at the entrance to the synagogue.
I asked my wife what level of dress was appropriate, and she said "I'm wearing a denim skirt, Friday night is casual". So I wore khakis with gym socks and sneakers. My wife realized only in the car that I was wearing gym socks and had a panic attack and said that folks at the synagogue would gossip and call me a "schlub"
Anyway, we get there, and my father-in-law, who is a very wealthy man, is also wearing gym socks. Crisis over.
There were like 12 people at the service. All of them were 60+ years old, except for two families who were speaking Russian. The female rabbi rushed through a bunch of songs in under an hour and then at the very end my father in law was called up and recognized for his charitable activities.
Then everyone went out into the hallway and they ate some bread and drank some wine while singing.
Then my in-laws, my wife, myself, and two other old people went to Bob Evans for shabbat dinner. Everyone had either the pot roast or the fried alaskan cod.
Over dinner, one guy, whose daughter is a v100 senior associate in NYC, started talking to another guy, who is a dentist, about the decision lawyers face re: either gunning for partner or gunning for in-house. The dentist was incredulous. Why would anyone ever not just gun for in-house and have a lot more free time, he asked. BIGLAW hours seemed inconceivable to his dentist mind. |
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Date: February 24th, 2018 10:38 PM Author: coral tanning salon 180. i called this 100% -- that nobody would care/notice, that it'll all be olds ("nobody will be there other than olds and boomers. you might be noticed anyway, but who cares?"), etc.
rofl re the dentist.
was the female rabbi a dyke? did she wear a kippa |
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Date: February 24th, 2018 10:39 PM Author: crawly piazza female rabbi was indeed wearing a yarmulke, as did most of the women there (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35481101) |
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Date: February 24th, 2018 10:41 PM Author: coral tanning salon did the dyke rabbi give a sermon about how the torah supposedly says that trump wants children getting killed in schools? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35481108) |
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Date: February 24th, 2018 10:41 PM Author: crawly piazza not that night, but my Trump voter in-laws complain that she does this kind of stuff on occasion (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35481111) |
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Date: February 24th, 2018 10:44 PM Author: coral tanning salon your inlaws are secular boomer jews but are trumpmos? rare breed. 180
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Date: February 24th, 2018 10:44 PM Author: crawly piazza they supported Rubio and Kasich in the primary but voted for Trump in November. they used to be modern orthodox but go to a conservative synagogue because there are no orthodox jews around here.
the guy with the v100 daughter is also a Republican, while the dentist is a huge shitlib who doesn't even support Israel |
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Date: February 25th, 2018 2:39 AM Author: coral tanning salon modern orthodox, meaning your wife grew up keeping shabbat and in a kosher home and went to ortho jewish day schools?
or do you mean more traditional / conservadox.
odd that these boomers are driving on shabbat if they were previously MO. |
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Date: February 28th, 2018 4:27 PM Author: drab boltzmann Orthos literally work 1/4 the time to make the same or more dough and style over all lawyers. Play tennis with an ortho who arrives in a new lambo/911/AM/Ferrari/Lotus every Spring. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35508084) |