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attending a Jewish service tonight. Taking advice.

my father-in-law is being honored at his conservative synago...
rose 180 piazza
  02/23/18
protip: nobody will give a fuck. this isn't iran; there aren...
Cracking amber becky selfie
  02/23/18
porkpie hat or classic Marlins hat?
rose 180 piazza
  02/23/18
kippah > nothing > porkpie > marlins
Cracking amber becky selfie
  02/23/18
(member of the 2003 Yankees)
rose 180 piazza
  02/23/18
that was painful :(
Cracking amber becky selfie
  02/23/18
...
Blue supple gas station french chef
  02/25/18
* wears Van Dutch hat *
Mahogany multi-billionaire
  02/23/18
might as well wear a I'M A PROLE t-shirt
Cracking amber becky selfie
  02/23/18
Don't wear a sports team hat, they will see you as prole ...
frisky market
  02/23/18
I own a porkpie hat
rose 180 piazza
  02/23/18
hmmm, actually, ask DBG's advice I don't know how that would...
frisky market
  02/23/18
you'll also look odd wearing a hat at a conservative shul. i...
Cracking amber becky selfie
  02/23/18
...
Vivacious point dragon
  02/23/18
Is it sort of an understated color, or is it a "hey loo...
Emerald up-to-no-good school
  02/23/18
it's a very understated porkpie hat
rose 180 piazza
  02/23/18
As long as you keep a somber face like this bro you'll proba...
Emerald up-to-no-good school
  02/23/18
it's not even brightly colored - it's like a dark green pork...
rose 180 piazza
  02/23/18
Take some notes on the top farters and report back, please.
charismatic canary sandwich address
  02/23/18
i think of you EVERY time i see a woman go for the cholent a...
Cracking amber becky selfie
  02/23/18
...
Mustard twisted therapy station
  02/23/18
does op need to at least wear some kind of hat?
Bistre Deep Toaster
  02/23/18
no, that's my point. he SHOULD just to be respectful to his ...
Cracking amber becky selfie
  02/23/18
1. No Hat 2. Khakis, light blue button down, blue blazer, b...
Big Fluffy Native Mother
  02/23/18
I own every article of clothing you mention
rose 180 piazza
  02/23/18
wasps wear khakis or khaki colored wool slacks?
Cracking amber becky selfie
  02/23/18
We leave details like that to the Jew lawyers.
Big Fluffy Native Mother
  02/23/18
...
Cracking amber becky selfie
  02/23/18
During the service scatter pocket change on the floor for co...
harsh beady-eyed parlor death wish
  02/23/18
talmud says lost pocket change is considered abandoned prope...
Cracking amber becky selfie
  02/23/18
Talmud also says you should kill all goyim. Pls hurry.
harsh beady-eyed parlor death wish
  02/23/18
not all goyim, just canaanites
Cracking amber becky selfie
  02/23/18
fuck, wife vetoed the Marlins hat. I can't find my porkpie h...
rose 180 piazza
  02/23/18
http://www.theemblemsource.com/miami-marlins-kippah-pro-kipp...
Cracking amber becky selfie
  02/23/18
that's a MIAMI Marlins - I am talking FLORIDA Marlins htt...
rose 180 piazza
  02/23/18
you'll have to make due with the new logo, i guess
Cracking amber becky selfie
  02/23/18
It is really best to just wear the kippah.
Mustard twisted therapy station
  02/23/18
it feels like cultural appropriation though. the yarmulke cl...
rose 180 piazza
  02/23/18
update?
Cracking amber becky selfie
  02/24/18
So my wife nixed the Marlins hat. I couldn't find my porkpie...
rose 180 piazza
  02/24/18
180. i called this 100% -- that nobody would care/notice, th...
Cracking amber becky selfie
  02/24/18
female rabbi was indeed wearing a yarmulke, as did most of t...
rose 180 piazza
  02/24/18
did the dyke rabbi give a sermon about how the torah suppose...
Cracking amber becky selfie
  02/24/18
not that night, but my Trump voter in-laws complain that she...
rose 180 piazza
  02/24/18
your inlaws are secular boomer jews but are trumpmos? rare b...
Cracking amber becky selfie
  02/24/18
they supported Rubio and Kasich in the primary but voted for...
rose 180 piazza
  02/24/18
modern orthodox, meaning your wife grew up keeping shabbat a...
Cracking amber becky selfie
  02/25/18
Orthos literally work 1/4 the time to make the same or more ...
Big Fluffy Native Mother
  02/28/18


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:39 PM
Author: rose 180 piazza

my father-in-law is being honored at his conservative synagogue for his long history of support of various charitable causes. I am being forced to attend, along with my wife, because of this big moment.

I am not Jewish. I hope I can get away with wearing a classic Florida Marlins hat (with the "F" and the teal) instead of a yarmulke because I feel silly wearing the latter. I'm dressed in a button-down shirt, khakis, and sneakers. I'm told Friday services are less formal, dress-wise, than Saturday services.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471871)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:43 PM
Author: Cracking amber becky selfie

protip: nobody will give a fuck. this isn't iran; there arent dress code enforcers at synagogues. you might look odd in a baseball cap. fuck, you might be better off just not even wearing a kippah. nobody's going to make you wear a kippah. but just put one on, it's just a sign of respect for your FIL. it's prole for any grown man to be wearing a baseball cap in public unless he's playing sports, period, let alone wear one at a place of worship.

also, conservative synagogues are dying. nobody will be there other than olds and boomers. you might be noticed anyway, but who cares?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471903)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:45 PM
Author: rose 180 piazza

porkpie hat or classic Marlins hat?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471924)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:46 PM
Author: Cracking amber becky selfie

kippah > nothing > porkpie > marlins

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471929)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:49 PM
Author: rose 180 piazza

(member of the 2003 Yankees)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471950)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:49 PM
Author: Cracking amber becky selfie

that was painful :(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471951)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2018 4:04 AM
Author: Blue supple gas station french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35482204)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:47 PM
Author: Mahogany multi-billionaire

* wears Van Dutch hat *

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471934)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:47 PM
Author: Cracking amber becky selfie

might as well wear a I'M A PROLE t-shirt

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471938)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:42 PM
Author: frisky market

Don't wear a sports team hat, they will see you as prole

wear a cr hat if you have one

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471889)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:43 PM
Author: rose 180 piazza

I own a porkpie hat

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471899)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:44 PM
Author: frisky market

hmmm, actually, ask DBG's advice I don't know how that would do

poast the hat?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471907)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:46 PM
Author: Cracking amber becky selfie

you'll also look odd wearing a hat at a conservative shul. if you were going to an ortho shul, people wear all sorts of hats there and it'd be fine. but people at conservative shuls dont wear hats and you'd look out of place. but again, who cares. nobody will.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471926)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:44 PM
Author: Vivacious point dragon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471913)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:53 PM
Author: Emerald up-to-no-good school

Is it sort of an understated color, or is it a "hey look at me I play trombone in a 90s swing revival band" kind of hat?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471981)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:57 PM
Author: rose 180 piazza

it's a very understated porkpie hat

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472016)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:10 PM
Author: Emerald up-to-no-good school

As long as you keep a somber face like this bro you'll probably be fine: https://www.wrongweather.net/fileManager/produtos/kit-neale-polished-felt-pork-pie-orange-hat_24872.jpg

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472137)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:13 PM
Author: rose 180 piazza

it's not even brightly colored - it's like a dark green porkpie hat

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472164)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:42 PM
Author: charismatic canary sandwich address

Take some notes on the top farters and report back, please.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471895)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:50 PM
Author: Cracking amber becky selfie

i think of you EVERY time i see a woman go for the cholent at the kiddush lunch on saturday morning.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471956)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:13 PM
Author: Mustard twisted therapy station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472166)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:51 PM
Author: Bistre Deep Toaster

does op need to at least wear some kind of hat?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471968)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:52 PM
Author: Cracking amber becky selfie

no, that's my point. he SHOULD just to be respectful to his FIL and to synagogue generally. but a prole marlins cap is worse than nothing imo.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471975)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:58 PM
Author: Big Fluffy Native Mother

1. No Hat

2. Khakis, light blue button down, blue blazer, brown loafers (offical WASP uniform)

3. Profit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472020)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:59 PM
Author: rose 180 piazza

I own every article of clothing you mention

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472037)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:00 PM
Author: Cracking amber becky selfie

wasps wear khakis or khaki colored wool slacks?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472043)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:02 PM
Author: Big Fluffy Native Mother

We leave details like that to the Jew lawyers.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472066)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:03 PM
Author: Cracking amber becky selfie



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472073)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:04 PM
Author: harsh beady-eyed parlor death wish

During the service scatter pocket change on the floor for comic relief

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472081)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:05 PM
Author: Cracking amber becky selfie

talmud says lost pocket change is considered abandoned property and belongs to anyone who picks it up

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472095)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:06 PM
Author: harsh beady-eyed parlor death wish

Talmud also says you should kill all goyim. Pls hurry.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472101)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:09 PM
Author: Cracking amber becky selfie

not all goyim, just canaanites

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472131)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:14 PM
Author: rose 180 piazza

fuck, wife vetoed the Marlins hat. I can't find my porkpie hat - it's in a box somewhere that I never unpacked when we moved in.

gonna be stuck wearing a yarmulke :(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472179)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:15 PM
Author: Cracking amber becky selfie

http://www.theemblemsource.com/miami-marlins-kippah-pro-kippah.html

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472192)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:17 PM
Author: rose 180 piazza

that's a MIAMI Marlins - I am talking FLORIDA Marlins

https://www.lids.com/florida-marlins-new-era-mlb-cooperstown-low-profile-59fifty-cap/20948640

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472207)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:19 PM
Author: Cracking amber becky selfie

you'll have to make due with the new logo, i guess

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472227)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:17 PM
Author: Mustard twisted therapy station

It is really best to just wear the kippah.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472210)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:18 PM
Author: rose 180 piazza

it feels like cultural appropriation though. the yarmulke clearly belongs to one culture. the 1997 and 2003 Florida Marlins attracted a wide and diverse following, they belong to all the people of South Florida AND also to the millions nation wide who were inspired by their scrappy underdog tale

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472220)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 24th, 2018 10:25 PM
Author: Cracking amber becky selfie

update?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35480990)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 24th, 2018 10:30 PM
Author: rose 180 piazza

So my wife nixed the Marlins hat. I couldn't find my porkpie hat. I had to wear a yarmulke that came out of a box at the entrance to the synagogue.

I asked my wife what level of dress was appropriate, and she said "I'm wearing a denim skirt, Friday night is casual". So I wore khakis with gym socks and sneakers. My wife realized only in the car that I was wearing gym socks and had a panic attack and said that folks at the synagogue would gossip and call me a "schlub"

Anyway, we get there, and my father-in-law, who is a very wealthy man, is also wearing gym socks. Crisis over.

There were like 12 people at the service. All of them were 60+ years old, except for two families who were speaking Russian. The female rabbi rushed through a bunch of songs in under an hour and then at the very end my father in law was called up and recognized for his charitable activities.

Then everyone went out into the hallway and they ate some bread and drank some wine while singing.

Then my in-laws, my wife, myself, and two other old people went to Bob Evans for shabbat dinner. Everyone had either the pot roast or the fried alaskan cod.

Over dinner, one guy, whose daughter is a v100 senior associate in NYC, started talking to another guy, who is a dentist, about the decision lawyers face re: either gunning for partner or gunning for in-house. The dentist was incredulous. Why would anyone ever not just gun for in-house and have a lot more free time, he asked. BIGLAW hours seemed inconceivable to his dentist mind.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35481034)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 24th, 2018 10:38 PM
Author: Cracking amber becky selfie

180. i called this 100% -- that nobody would care/notice, that it'll all be olds ("nobody will be there other than olds and boomers. you might be noticed anyway, but who cares?"), etc.

rofl re the dentist.

was the female rabbi a dyke? did she wear a kippa

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35481097)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 24th, 2018 10:39 PM
Author: rose 180 piazza

female rabbi was indeed wearing a yarmulke, as did most of the women there

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35481101)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 24th, 2018 10:41 PM
Author: Cracking amber becky selfie

did the dyke rabbi give a sermon about how the torah supposedly says that trump wants children getting killed in schools?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35481108)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 24th, 2018 10:41 PM
Author: rose 180 piazza

not that night, but my Trump voter in-laws complain that she does this kind of stuff on occasion

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35481111)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 24th, 2018 10:44 PM
Author: Cracking amber becky selfie

your inlaws are secular boomer jews but are trumpmos? rare breed. 180



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35481125)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 24th, 2018 10:44 PM
Author: rose 180 piazza

they supported Rubio and Kasich in the primary but voted for Trump in November. they used to be modern orthodox but go to a conservative synagogue because there are no orthodox jews around here.

the guy with the v100 daughter is also a Republican, while the dentist is a huge shitlib who doesn't even support Israel

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35481127)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2018 2:39 AM
Author: Cracking amber becky selfie

modern orthodox, meaning your wife grew up keeping shabbat and in a kosher home and went to ortho jewish day schools?

or do you mean more traditional / conservadox.

odd that these boomers are driving on shabbat if they were previously MO.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35482069)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 28th, 2018 4:27 PM
Author: Big Fluffy Native Mother

Orthos literally work 1/4 the time to make the same or more dough and style over all lawyers. Play tennis with an ortho who arrives in a new lambo/911/AM/Ferrari/Lotus every Spring.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35508084)