Date: March 21st, 2018 6:53 PM
Author: Swollen Dopamine Dilemma
My English sexpat father disgusts meVent/Rant (self.hapas)
submitted 11 hours ago by IKissedThePiperLuk Khrueng
My parents had a really messy divorce, dealt with some abuse from my Thai mother and ran away from home to live with my English dad who I began to worship as my saviour.
As I get older, the more I learned about his disgusting behaviour. He would leave jizz around the house, on the walls on multiple occasions. He would leave beastiality porn and ‘child porn’ (I don’t know for certain) open on his computer- exposing my young preteen self and my little brother to that filth.
I then discovered (when I started to contact my mother again 6 years later) that my dad started paying for sex from 16 year old boys. She sent the proof to my English grandmother and she took my dad’s side.
I am so fucking upset that when I’m on my own- people assume I’m a whore’s daughter because of where my mother comes from. Then, they think I’m the whore when I’m with my dad!
The real point that I was getting to was that my dad likes young women. He’s 57 and we’ve talked about how he ‘sees older women as his mother’ and just doesn’t find them attractive. Ok fair enough. I found out through friends that he’s been bragging to people in his local pub that he’s been sleeping with underage girls in Thailand. Underage in Thailand is under 15. I was so disgusted and ashamed.
I find out now that he’s been dating a girl and it’s getting pretty serious. He FaceTimed with me showing her off, took her to my childhood home and I assumed she was 25 or something.
Why did I assume?
Because a few months earlier, I begged my dad to not date women the same age-around the same age as me (19). He acknowledged and said that he understood why I’d feel uncomfortable and wouldn’t do it again.
What did I find out yesterday?
She’s 18 years old- she’s fucking younger than me and I’m still in my fucking teens.
I was horrified honestly. That he would break his promise like that and parade her and fuck her in my childhood home.
I made a mistake by asking reddit for advice and they called me an entitled child.
I accept that he’s an adult and she’s a consenting adult too. But this has bought shame to my heritage and my family. I feel like I cannot trust or get close to either of my parents anymore.
I called my aunt about it and she basically compared it to how my father didn’t accept my previous relationship. This upsets me because I was trapped in an physical/mental abusive relationship.
I’m sorry for the long post. I have nowhere else to go anymore. I’m so ashamed, alone and disgusted I want to fucking kill myself.
https://www.reddit.com/r/hapas/comments/861bju/my_english_sexpat_father_disgusts_me/
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3924961&forum_id=2#35655878)