"Young Women Are Convinced Motherhood Is Going To Suck And They're Right"
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: April 2nd, 2018 9:36 AM Author: navy judgmental idea he suggested
"Emily, 27, is a clinical therapist in a long-term relationship. Both she and her partner want to have children, but even though she is gainfully employed with two master’s degrees from an Ivy League institution, she is still forced to supplement her income with a part-time babysitting job."
lol MUH MASTERSES!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35742566) |
Date: April 2nd, 2018 9:38 AM Author: navy judgmental idea he suggested
"Between college, internships, and the 24/7 work week, we’ve spent so many years building ourselves up. Why would we want a toddler to come along and knock it all down?"
And they wonder why we call them the "me" generation
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35742570) |
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Date: April 2nd, 2018 10:13 AM Author: big saffron mood
it's not even just about these young women
it's that they were raised to prioritize academic/professional achievement
by parents who invested so much in them that to ask their children, who likely were just walking symbols of whatever resources they could provide, to just step back and be parents - would be difficult after all the effort/money
you could argue that traditional households could help to teach young women that there's value in being a SAHM, but from my experience with friends whose moms stayed home and even from reading this board, a lot kids don't necessarily respect their mothers, if their mothers couldn't stay at home without being depressed or underproductive, etc.etc.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35742784)
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Date: April 2nd, 2018 10:21 AM Author: Maize tattoo
>> it's that they were raised to prioritize academic/professional achievement
by parents who invested so much in them that to ask their children, who likely were just walking symbols of whatever resources they could provide, to just step back and be parents - would be difficult after all the effort/money <<
heaven forbid these women use those skills and achievements to help raise the next generation of good citizens...
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35742836) |
Date: April 2nd, 2018 9:48 AM Author: navy judgmental idea he suggested
I suspect in about 20 years millennials are going to have the highest suicide rates of any other previous generation. Growing up in instant gratification culture has truly ruined them.
Their educational decisions, tattoos, delaying adulthood decisions, refusing to have kids, all because they live in the here and now and have zero ability to think ahead even just a few years. They're going to hit their 40s and 50s and realize all the stuff they missed out on.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35742649) |
Date: April 2nd, 2018 9:56 AM Author: Amethyst Comical Address
If my mother felt that having a career and a family at the same time was a mistake, I no longer had proof that the opposite was true. What had happened to my feminist hero? And also, as I yelled at her over roast chicken at Rosh Hashana dinner, why didn’t she tell me this before I got knocked up?
And also, as I yelled at her over roast chicken at Rosh Hashana dinner AndAnd also, as I yelled at her over roast chicken at Rosh Hashana dinner also, as I yelled at her over roast chicken at Rosh Hashana dinner And also, as I yelled at her over roast chicken at Rosh Hashana dinner And also, as I yelled at her over roast chicken at Rosh Hashana dinner
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35742694) |
Date: April 2nd, 2018 10:12 AM Author: Maize tattoo
>> In itself, the fact that many well-educated women view professional success as key to happiness, rather than marriage and babies, is undoubtedly a good thing. <<
Why?
You might say that it's a good thing that the small subset of women who have no maternal instinct or desire are able to find happiness in other things such as a career -- but the author asserts that this switch is good without ever explaining why.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35742782) |
Date: April 2nd, 2018 10:21 AM Author: French area police squad
holy shit this might be the most toxic thing i've ever seen posted on XO
it just keeps going and going and going. these women are not salvageable - they're brainwashed to the point where there's no going back. they cannot be saved
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35742838) |
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Date: April 2nd, 2018 10:34 AM Author: Maize tattoo
the problem is that women want to bitch and moan regardless.
the will bitch about being "unfulfilled" as a SAHM
they will bitch about being burned out and not as successful in either endeavor if they do both
they will bitch if they eschew kids because they've been "forced" to choose and because they are going against biology.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35742950) |
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Date: April 2nd, 2018 10:31 AM Author: Maize tattoo
Well, this isn't just a men issue.
Remember a lot of these women have been working for years, and most times not really saving anything, so their consumption levels are high -- and those consumption levels only increase when they meet a man who has a similar or higher level of income.
Second, women in the workforce is a self-perpetuating evil. The more two-income households there are, the harder it is for a woman to drop out of the labor force because of the expense, particularly housing.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35742928) |
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Date: April 2nd, 2018 10:49 AM Author: big saffron mood
women can work and have kids
so many have done it and have done it well
the emphasis on empathy and self-care in modern women/moms has really driven the conversation down into the dumps - articles like this fit in line with the greater illness
women in these spaces aren't talking about how great motherhood is because you're not allowed to have a human experience if you're not suffering or a victim
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35743065) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:04 PM Author: Mildly autistic stock car
I won't disagree that Russians are way more commonly autists. On the bright side, everyone knows how to deal with it. In the US people act like being Aspie is the worst thing on the planet. In Russia you shrug and say Sasha is a bit awkward and you accept the eccentricities that come with that. Most would rather have an autist than a dumb for a kid, even if the latter has a big wide smile and is on the High School varsity whatever team or something. OTOH, Russians have actual friends that will help each other out, rather than the friends of convenience that are standard fare for the US.
Italians? Sure. Asians (S or E)? Sure. Jews? From what I can tell, hit or miss.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35752116)
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Date: April 2nd, 2018 11:00 AM Author: big saffron mood
it's common knowledge that aspects of parenting are hard, can feel isolating, and suck
however, the disruption of parenthood is expected, universal
this article attempts to be in touch with that truth, but the way it's conveyed is such a distraction
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35743145) |
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Date: April 2nd, 2018 11:03 AM Author: big saffron mood
it's an agonizing cycle, putting all your eggs in one basket while you wait for the other basket to appear
if only we lived in a culture where the focus on work = identity was a little less and the emphasis on family >>>>>> all was followed through, not just a PR campaign
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35743170)
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:09 PM Author: Mildly autistic stock car
Denmark and Austria aren't TRUE socialist paradises, they're still run by evil capitalists. The USSR, OTOH... And Comrade Stalin, who you surely refer to (unless you imagined Comrade Mao) was merely the instrument to bring about that paradise! For example, before Stalin (and Mao, for that matter) you had the awfulness of capitalist-style farming. Sure, TRUE socialism required some sacrifices (such as famine killing millions) but you can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs!
By the way, the US is not going to become Denmark or Austria. Both are small, homogenous countries with pretty much no military spending. Denmark has considerable natural resources and Austria actually keeps a tight lid on social spending. The US is heading towards the USSR, with leftist authoritarianism run by an elite.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35752165) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 3:51 PM Author: mewling internet-worthy selfie
Your autistic Russian response to an invocation of various western "social democratic" governments as "not true socialism" is hilarious and pitch perfect accurate imitation of the 105 IQ campus leftists who drop out of school to become full time protesters. But back here in reality, Denmark and Austria are #3 and #4 in social spending per capita globally, 1.5x the U.S. rate.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_social_welfare_spending#Per_capita
Let's bump up U.S. social spending 1.5x per capita, say with national health insurance and free trade schools, including grey collar tech jobs and similar reforms that a smart net exporter country like Germany does, for all non-criminal high school graduates who can pass a basic entrance exam (while also securing the borders, passing e-verify and then see about deporting at least a couple million illegal immigrants starting with the shittiest/worst ones like MS13 instead of just the easiest ones to find), and see what happens. Maybe also some infrastructure training to go along with a new generational infrastructure spending bill. While we're at it we could also gut the student loan industry--as you can see I'm all for balancing spending with cuts--and maybe undermine the dominant position that 4 year colleges/universities currently occupy as gatekeepers to the middle class. Perhaps we even, I don't know, pass some laws limiting lifetime tenure appointments to certain fields/limited headcount/a certain number of years before forced retirement like every other government job, and apply those rules to any university accepting federal funds. And I bet we can find even more money in the budget if we quit starting and prolonging idiotic neocon wars in the middle east. In other words, all the stuff Trump said he would do even though everyone knew he was completely full of shit and would do the opposite and then pass a Koch brothers wet dream tax cut, and that Bernie also said but actually meant.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35753720) |
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Date: April 2nd, 2018 12:07 PM Author: multi-colored friendly grandma idiot
The shrews with actual careers are waiting til the last minute because they don’t want to move, but the freelancing crowd who churn out these garbage articles are waiting to early-mid 30s when they finally meet a rich guy/bf strikes it rich or reality sets in and they have to move back Kansas with their poor guy and be closer to family help/low COL.
Overall I don’t think there’s any crisis of people not having kids the way it is in Japan. People as just delaying having children until 30s.
I don’t actually think there’s some “me me me” crisis happening unique to millenials. Every generation hates the generation below them and thinks they are entitled and selfish, but life goes on. Older people hated gen x in the 90s too.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35743769)
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Date: April 2nd, 2018 12:47 PM Author: multi-colored friendly grandma idiot
Dude, there’s no telling if or when your own kids will have kids. I’d say don’t count on it, esp if you have any boys, they prob wont even get to it until age 40.
Also, very few white grandparents have any interest in actually being involved in the daily lives of their grandkids. I asked my husband if his mom would be willing to live in our guest house (with own kitchen and bath) for 3-4 months after #2 is here because my almost 70 year old mother needs some help and he said there’s no way his mother who is retired would do that. She’d rather us hire a Mexican nanny for $4000/mo. But she’ll buy gifts and write checks and stuff and visit 3-4 times/year. She LOVES being a grandma...on her terms.
Actual “grandparenting” the way my mother does day in and day out is as hard as parenting and very few grandparents are willing to do it.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35744141)
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Date: April 2nd, 2018 1:05 PM Author: multi-colored friendly grandma idiot
Forget daily childcare. Any sort of meaningful grand parenting where you actually developed a real bond with children, esp young children, requires a lot of facetime because, other than parents, young kids tend to be out of sight, out of mind. At a minimum, it requires living in the same city within a reasonable distance (or as willing as grandparents are willing to travel). Lots of grandparents who live within the same metro area aren’t willing to travel an hour or so each way to see their grandkids once a week for half a day. Most of my friends with grandparents in a 20-30 mile radius will trek there maybe once a month. Vast majority of friends have grandparents who live in another city anyway so once a month isn’t even realistic.
I’m just saying it’s easy for grandparents to say they “love” it when it doesn’t involve much sacrifice on their part, which is the way things work in these times. The same could be said for being an aunt or uncle. I think it’s extremely beneficial for kids to be around extended families all the time and be around their cousins. But people just don’t live geographically around family anymore (other than in ethnic communities).
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35744282)
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Date: April 2nd, 2018 1:58 PM Author: multi-colored friendly grandma idiot
Lol at “enslaving” his mom when she literally has to do zero infant care and my mom will do the older child’s preschool drop off and pick up when I’m recovering from a csection. I’m also there at the same time on maternity leave doing most of the infant care. Her job would be to play with my son for a few hours/day when he’s not in preschool and helping him adjust, as he will not be getting as much attention from me. Slave labor!!
The funny thing is that I’m not asking much from them, esp compared to my own mother who gives and sacrifices a lot without my even asking. She does it for my benefit, not her grandchildren’s. That’s my mentality as well and I will do everything for my children to make their life easier in the future. My duty doesn’t stop at age 18.
She can also stay in the guest room at the main house if she wants but she is weird about personal space and always wants to stay in the guesthouse. In fact, they were the ones who said they’d come visit for longer than a week if they had their own space so we converted the garage for their benefit. Grandpa still has not come visit yet though and it’s been 2 years. Retired boomers with their pensions living in Florida working on their home construction projects instead of spending time with their only grandchildren.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35744794) |
Date: April 2nd, 2018 11:58 AM Author: Razzle-dazzle fluffy corner associate
Are there stats bearing this out?
My friends are mostly pausing this except those who live in lcol areas and those in Canada and Japan (surprisingly) ljl.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35743689) |
Date: April 2nd, 2018 1:39 PM Author: ruddy sneaky criminal
this is literally the opening to the movie Idiocracy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwZ0ZUy7P3E
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35744633) |
Date: April 2nd, 2018 1:39 PM Author: Vigorous azn abode
this author didn't even have the courtesy for her fellow women to quietly correct the spelling and grammar errors in what i'm sure were hastily written texts or emails written on a phone by busy women.
instead, it's a parade of [sic] which is pretty indicative of the whole piece
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35744642) |
Date: April 2nd, 2018 1:52 PM Author: Gaped salmon philosopher-king
I think most people agree that having kids makes you less happy while you are raising them but happier in the long run when you can look back on your life and feel like it had meaning.
Isn’t it called the happiness gap or something?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35744753) |
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Date: April 2nd, 2018 7:22 PM Author: big saffron mood
thanks, thanks
and I totally get the wanting two boys thing -- I secretly hope for the same once it's my time again
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35747380)
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:12 PM Author: Up-to-no-good Useless Legal Warrant Kitchen
The unnatural American nuclear family is the problem - the expectation that kids should be raised either by a SAHM or nanny is toxic. That's what grandparents, cousins,and other extended family are for - to support the parents in child-rearing, so that it doesn't become a matter of parenting vs working.
In Colombia and Jordan, all my female cousins have good careers, kids, and never stopped working. The ones who could afford it have live-in help, and the ones who couldn't relied on grandparents and extended family to take care of the kids. But Americans hate their families and move as far away as they can, isolating themselves into miserable lives of dislocation and anomie.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3936497&forum_id=2#35752210) |
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