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DTP taking questions here (4/3/2018)
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:19 AM Author: lake dilemma she's 26 y/o, 5'7", ~160 lb. she was tall and well-built for an asian girl. she had rolls of fat on her abdomen and her legs were thicker than mine. her moon face was blowing up, while aging, and wasn't going to defy gravity for much longer.
she was pretty dumb, lazy, a sloppy dresser, pretty much an ADD tomboy with a sweet girly face, had little in the way of intellectual curiosity outside her soft STEM grad program, came from a poor family (in restaurant biz and brother works in a night club), makes frequent grammatical errors, and is a sugar addict.
and yet...
she had the most sweet and positively adorable personality i had ever met. she was spontaneous. she was happy. she had a way of connecting with people with a kid-like enthusiasm. i would let her talk for hours and smile at the happy, simple, and content world she inhabited. she gushed with emotion and authenticity. her smile was radiant. and oh god, her voice. it was sweet and cheerful, like a nectar. and she directed these in a wholesome way to let me know that she liked me.
she wasn't materialistic, she didn't drink, didn't party. she had a small group of really close nerdy friends, she would do cute little things for them, and just wanted to hang out and play board games. she knew she was hyper-emotional and wanted stability.
but we met on tinder, about a year ago last spring, and there the toxicity seeped in...
she was in my city for a work conference and we spent one night together. she was recovering from a recent break-up and seemed shell-shocked and emotionally vacant. i knew she was a codependent type right then and there. she kept txting me afterwards, says she only talks to one person at a time. she's enthusiastic and oversharing with me by a ratio of 3:1, yet i get cynical and cold because she's a tinder girl and eventually stop responding.
last fall she initiates contact again, we talk for a while and she vaguely hints at a trip to see me. things drag on and it almost doesn't happen, but suddenly it's back on.
she's since visited me on 3 different weekends. she's been nothing but good to me with periodic spurts of clinginess. but i learn that in the preceding months, before we talked again, she'd been going on dates. many, many dates. she only likes asian guys and there aren't so many in her area, so she cast a broad net. she slept with fewer than 10 of them, including one that was a casual sex partner for several months.
i shouldn't have been, and was a total hypocrite to be, but was devastated at this defilement of innocence. part of it was guilt knowing that my ghosting her in the spring probably led to this. she was a dumb needy girl, she has no control over her actions or feelings, and i let her get raped by an app.
i never did quite look at her the same way again. in particular, i stalked her fb pics and preferred the younger, more innocent, provably wholesome version of her that was even more radiant and cheerful looking. i also knew she was getting fat, she was too emotional, and her dumbness and dependency would get unbearable in the end.
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:20 AM Author: Aphrodisiac cruise ship In your opinion what is the endgame for America? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749406) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:24 AM Author: lake dilemma i believe in XO Ted that it'll slowly become a "diverse" lib hellscape ultimately strangled to death by the omnipresence of technology. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749433) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:37 AM Author: Stimulating Mood Why stick it out in this hell hole then (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749724) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 7:33 PM Author: lake dilemma there isn't really a better alternative (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35756284) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:50 PM Author: red corn cake (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35752003) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:24 AM Author: scarlet hospital have u seen RPO (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749440) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:25 AM Author: lake dilemma what? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749443) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:25 AM Author: Aphrodisiac cruise ship what's your favorite movie and why?
what do you think of the works of sofia coppola (somewhere, lost in translation, etc.)? |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:29 AM Author: lake dilemma There Will Be Blood, because of my preference for its grandiloquent style (i hate artsy subtle "nuanced" movies with too many interpretations). i was particularly blown away by the acting by daniel day lewis and paul dano, which i thought were amazing, even though i'm rarely a stickler when it comes to acting. and i identify with many of its misanthropic themes
haven't seen any of her movies |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:30 AM Author: scarlet hospital TWWB is good shit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749478) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:32 AM Author: Aphrodisiac cruise ship good choice, twbb is a good movie,
watch "Somewhere" and "Lost in Translation" and report back, thanks in advance. |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:35 AM Author: lake dilemma why those 2 movies? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749514) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:40 AM Author: Aphrodisiac cruise ship They are directly relevant to what you post about daily (re: women, relationships) and I'm actually astounded you didn't take any inspiration from them. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749535) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:48 AM Author: lake dilemma i will definitely give Lost in Translation a watch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749570) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:50 AM Author: lake dilemma torrenting it now (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749584) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:51 AM Author: Aphrodisiac cruise ship cool (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749588) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:17 AM Author: lake dilemma is this going to drive me into a blinding rage over this much older man feeling a genuine connection with a much younger extremely hot woman, who he happens to meet by chance, with my hopes being artificially inflated by this memorable and well-crafted movie while knowing the odds of this ever happening to me irl are infinitesimally small? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749646) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:24 AM Author: Umber juggernaut theater pretty much yeah (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749661) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:25 AM Author: Aphrodisiac cruise ship haha (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749666) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:45 AM Author: vivacious nighttime property athletic conference (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749763) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:43 AM Author: Sickened Area Have you seen any of Paul Dano's other movies, e.g. L.I.E.? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749546) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:47 AM Author: lake dilemma nah i don't watch that many movies, nor do i read many books (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749562) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 2:35 AM Author: cracking senate rigor Have you seen Her (2014)? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749902) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 3:37 PM Author: boyish mischievous chad (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35753569) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:38 AM Author: Infuriating puce stock car could i send u 6 eth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749529) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:40 AM Author: Aphrodisiac cruise ship (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749538) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:20 AM Author: sepia bearded roast beef school what rank/range of UG did you go to?
did you strive in high school? college?
if yes, was it primarily your azn tiger parents pushing you or were you more internally motivated? |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:23 AM Author: lake dilemma top 20, won't get more specific than that. i did not strive in HS other than get decent grades. i did strive somewhat in college initially, mainly for knowledge's sake, then saw the futility of everything, and proceeded to melt away from societal expectations altogether. parents tried to do some tiger parenting initially, such as prodding me to do extracurriculars, but i was way too stubborn for their efforts to be effective. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749660) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:26 AM Author: sepia bearded roast beef school describe "melting away" at T20 college? like going from typical azn to getting a bunch of B's and graduating with like a 3.2 or like straight up bombing/failing/no-showing classes and barely graduating? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749669) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:27 AM Author: lake dilemma no, i got a good GPA, but then did jack shit with it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749675) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:36 AM Author: sepia bearded roast beef school i see. given that your college transcript isn't a dumpster fire and without asking about your major/current work, do your NOWAG parents ever get on you to do med school or T20 law/MBA program since you'd likely have a shot at getting in and returning to the GC striver wage-cucking path azn parents dream of for their sons? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749715) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:40 AM Author: lake dilemma i have sort of shock-and-awed them over the years with my degeneracy, laziness, and indifference to societal expectations, that now they don't really get on my case to do any striving. i have a great transcript and great test taking skills. i have no doubt i could have joined DVP at HLS, but despite the shit that this board gives him, he's way more driven and functional than me. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749738) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:48 AM Author: sepia bearded roast beef school so ... you have no doubt that you could go to HLS if you wanted to, but you won't because ... why exactly?
i mean you seem really unhappy in life and it's not like i'm saying you should only seek and derive satisfaction from running on the 80hr/wk GC striver wheel, but just tossing in vague reference to being "degenerate" and "lazy" is a cheap cop-out and poor explanation for why you're fully committed to doing absolutely nothing with your life. |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:59 AM Author: lake dilemma lol that's what's so insane about all this.. why would i ever want to go to HLS and become a biglawyer? like it would never cross my mind to do something like that, the reward/cost ratio is so absurd. and the same goes for most similar positions.
i don't need a lot of money. i don't really like interacting with people or desire power over them. jumping through hoops has never given me a sense of accomplishment other than a temporary dopamine rush which i've come to loathe. |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 2:24 AM Author: sepia bearded roast beef school that's what i'm trying to understand, man. like from what i know of your posting oeuvre, your primary schtick is being a depressive NOWAG whose rage for the world springs from a lifetime of sexual rejection by women, failure to find some genuine and mutual romantic love with a woman, and a nostalgic sense of loss for the innocence of youth/sense of horror at the relentlessness of aging and death.
but you're also quite smart and capable of shattering the rose colored glasses of those leading equally quiet and desperate lives who want to delude themselves into believing they're happy when they're really just idiot automaton GC pawns. yet it's obvious you're not "satisfied"by that life-interacting with humans only via xo and putting ragnus on blast for being a dipshit uncle chang.
my point being, you're too smart for this abject reliance on cliches like "i'm a lazy degenerate" or "i don't need to strive or make a lot of money" as a supposed justification for your misery. literally no one NEEDS to make "a lot" of money because it doesn't take all that much money to sustain oneself eating fastfood and internet posting from some shitty 1BR apt in an inexpensive area, but that's not an acrtual argument in favor of that lifestyle. sure, plenty of women are superficial gold-digging chad-fucking sociopaths, as you well point out, but can you really blame the ones who aren't for finding your total resignation to this cynical, solipsistic, fear-of-failure, apathetic life-philosophy unattractive? can you honestly say that you yourself would have any attraction or openness to a "genuine connection" with someone whose worldview was defined by an analogously caustic negativity and abrasive hopelessness, even if she otherwise fit your ideal criteria of being a thin mousey fob azn girl who, deep down, just wants to find a NOWAG husband and dedicate herself to a lifetime of being a good wife who makes him happy, or whatever? |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 2:30 AM Author: titillating office party of the first part absolutely devastating (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749896) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 2:34 AM Author: Alcoholic High-end Space (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749900) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 2:54 AM Author: lake dilemma i get what you're saying ultimately and appreciate the comments. i did not mean to rely on cliches from before, just stating things simply and briefly.
my worldview is obviously very negative and is something 99% of people would find revolting. so that's a source of great alienation in my life and i have to hide it. that's independent of my non-striverish lifestyle choices. with regards the latter, i'm not in a bad state objectively. when i say i'm doing jack shit, it's still better than most. i do have ways of appearing upwardly mobile. it's not a big issue for me for normal girls. i will never get the ultra-striver chicks, but i really don't want to.
if i were to devote my time to getting a striver job, i would need to dedicate most of my time to doing that. that would detract from me doing other things, which namely right now is squeezing the last drops of youth left. so as a practical matter, devoting 100% of my energies to getting a striver job would neither change my negative worldview nor would it get me more access to girls overall. it'll just lead me to being a bitter balding striver professional who still posts his caustic thoughts on xo while additionally being fat and out of shape and having no time for the exploration and reflections, no matter how pathetic, that might obviate a miserable end as the tool of a gold-digger because my one-shot opportunity to get a girl from the trenches of an office building is additionally that much more narrow and stifling. for someone already afflicted with negativity, i don't see how hooking myself up to the HLS grindstone is going to help. the prestige and titles and make-work is just treating the symptom, not the disease. XO itself should be sufficient evidence of that. |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 2:59 AM Author: sepia bearded roast beef school fair enough. heading to bed now. just skimmed your reply briefly but will give it another look in the morning. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749936) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:24 AM Author: Umber juggernaut theater do you have sisters? what's their dating life like? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749662) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:27 AM Author: lake dilemma 100% white (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749676) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:29 AM Author: Aphrodisiac cruise ship Now THAT is the first thing you've ever posted that really got me enraged. THAT is disrespect. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749681) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:26 AM Author: mustard sticky ape Are you the LOL AZN GUTTERSLUTS guy? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749671) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:27 AM Author: lake dilemma yes (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749677) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:28 AM Author: avocado erotic hairy legs I don't believe you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749678) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:29 AM Author: Sickened Area (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749680) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:29 AM Author: lake dilemma why not? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749682) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:33 AM Author: avocado erotic hairy legs mostly just because that's a huge bombshell and you would've taken credit for it sooner, but now that I think about it it sort of makes sense.
actually, also I had the impression you were older than he was (he was in college around 2012 IIRC) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:36 AM Author: Stimulating Mood cr no fucking way (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749718) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:29 AM Author: mustard sticky ape So you're not actually Asian, then. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749683) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:35 AM Author: avocado erotic hairy legs is this uvt? he was the only person who accused lol gutter of being white. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749711) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:36 AM Author: Sickened Area uvt's moniker is "send me MAL nudes for TT pics" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749714) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:46 AM Author: mustard sticky ape lol not uvt. Hdy. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749768) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 7:35 PM Author: spectacular pistol that was amazing, you completely flipped the narrative on white women... you should be in advertising (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35756298) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:36 AM Author: Glittery Ultramarine National When you were ten years old what did you assume your life would look like at 30? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749720) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:45 AM Author: lake dilemma do 10 year olds really think about this? i sure didn't. i mostly played video games, read books, and developed a burgeoning inner world of developing secret crushes on girls that would evolve into dream-like fantasy scenarios and then dissipate into black self-loathing through inaction and acute observations of impassable difference. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749761) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 2:01 AM Author: Aphrodisiac cruise ship same (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749820) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 7:36 PM Author: spectacular pistol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35756302) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:45 AM Author: Big-titted Chestnut Temple National Security Agency what other accounts have you ran? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749764) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 4:33 PM Author: lake dilemma i have 5 accounts total
this is another one: http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2227701&mc=93&forum_id=2 |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 2:36 AM Author: cracking senate rigor Can a girl genuinely love a non-chad after spending a standard amount of time on the cock carousel (college + apps)? Assume it’s less than 10 guys she’s had sex with (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749906) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 3:14 AM Author: lake dilemma it depends on the girl, but if she's been touched by apps, she's guilty until proven innocent. she really needs a good alibi and solid evidence that she's an upstanding person. you have to test her, you have to observe her, you have to go through her social media pictures and everything. if you would not be willing to go to bat for her in a court of law and testify to her integrity, then it's over. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749957) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:34 PM Author: lake dilemma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35751859) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:35 PM Author: marvelous hideous striped hyena friendly grandma whats the ideal outcome for a dude like me w/r/t women (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35751864) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:47 PM Author: lake dilemma aren't you just a normie who's been led astray?
why would a normie ask an uber-incel what the best life outcome is? come on... |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:52 PM Author: marvelous hideous striped hyena friendly grandma im more aspie chad than normie after reading your scholarship
im tired of playing women's games |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:48 PM Author: lime stage Update on bleeding asshold? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35751980) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:59 PM Author: lake dilemma it's better, but it's a recurrent problem that looks to be getting worse each time. might die of it sooner or later. what's been more troubling however is the other side of my hairline has started receding. truly pathetic, disgusting, sad! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35752066) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:49 PM Author: red corn cake (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35751998) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:57 PM Author: lake dilemma 180, this is why i choose not to strive
there is a whole dimension of pain that i will never know |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:11 PM Author: red corn cake (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35752192) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:16 PM Author: lake dilemma appreciate the offer, but broadcasting voice is too risky.
and who are you again? |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:16 PM Author: red corn cake (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35752255) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:28 PM Author: lake dilemma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35752375) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:29 PM Author: red corn cake (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35752383) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:02 PM Author: House-broken up-to-no-good jewess how did you become such a great writer? I know you have HLS in the background, but u have to be batting at least two SDs above the average HLS IQ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35752094) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:09 PM Author: lake dilemma i am naturally a very bad writer and have a relatively low (just slightly above average) IQ. however i have always been brimming with nothing but extremely toxic thoughts, and before i became a passable writer who was capable of communicating those thoughts on toxic message boards, i literally had no means of interacting with the outside world. it was very much like this short story i came across on here: "I have no mouth and I must scream." my writing is just me developing a functional mouthpiece after 30 years of mute silence floating around in a disorienting world. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35752168) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:18 PM Author: House-broken up-to-no-good jewess flame. most low IQ proles never even figure out angst or toxic thoughts. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35752270) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:10 PM Author: marvelous hideous striped hyena friendly grandma what are your hobbies?> (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35752182) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:26 PM Author: lake dilemma mostly physical activities and mild intellectual interests, and i say this purposefully and not flame: app dating. since my youth is almost gone, i see no reason why this shouldn't be my current primary hobby.
as i get older and more pathetic and useless, i plan to scale into other things, such as cooking and eventually being so engrossed in nature that i cease to exist. |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:19 PM Author: Sadistic elite library how do i nicely ask my gf to lose some weight? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35752279) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:31 PM Author: lake dilemma no idea, i have very little experience with tact and persuasion.
the hard way is to demonstrate through action the importance of physical fitness to you, and be several levels above her in that respect, which you currently are not (you fat fuck). if she still seems totally resistant to any and all incorporation of the lifestyle changes you've made, then she doesn't even like you ljl |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:34 PM Author: red corn cake (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35752438) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:36 PM Author: lake dilemma this has the potential to backfire tremendously, and even if it does work, the induced changes are not sustainable in the long run. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35752457) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:39 PM Author: red corn cake (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35752485) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:44 PM Author: lake dilemma maybe if you're one of those couples that like to "challenge each other" and have a slick tongue. ragnus is used to begging and groveling. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35752529) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 1:50 PM Author: red corn cake (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35752598) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 3:33 PM Author: lake dilemma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35753531) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 3:34 PM Author: red corn cake (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35753541) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 3:36 PM Author: lake dilemma I have a lean muscular build so a lot of athleisure. Simple form fitting sweaters and t-shirts. No dress shirts, nothing fancy or formal. Darker, low key colors. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35753562) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 4:28 PM Author: lake dilemma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35753990) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 8:36 PM Author: Aphrodisiac cruise ship remember that time i gaped you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35756698) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 8:57 PM Author: lake dilemma it was a flesh wound (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35756923) |
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Date: May 24th, 2018 5:14 PM Author: mustard sticky ape (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#36121069) |
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Date: April 3rd, 2018 9:12 PM Author: lake dilemma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35757047) |
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Date: May 24th, 2018 2:54 AM Author: mustard sticky ape Date: April 3rd, 2018 12:19 AM Author: Deranged tinder pumo
she's 26 y/o, 5'7", ~160 lb. she was tall and well-built for an asian girl. she had rolls of fat on her abdomen and her legs were thicker than mine. her moon face was blowing up, while aging, and wasn't going to defy gravity for much longer. she was pretty dumb, lazy, a sloppy dresser, pretty much an ADD tomboy with a sweet girly face, had little in the way of intellectual curiosity outside her soft STEM grad program, came from a poor family (in restaurant biz and brother works in a night club), makes frequent grammatical errors, and is a sugar addict.
and yet...
she had the most sweet and positively adorable personality i had ever met. she was spontaneous. she was happy. she had a way of connecting with people with a kid-like enthusiasm. i would let her talk for hours and smile at the happy, simple, and content world she inhabited. she gushed with emotion and authenticity. her smile was radiant. and oh god, her voice. it was sweet and cheerful, like a nectar. and she directed these in a wholesome way to let me know that she liked me.
she wasn't materialistic, she didn't drink, didn't party. she had a small group of really close nerdy friends, she would do cute little things for them, and just wanted to hang out and play board games. she knew she was hyper-emotional and wanted stability.
but we met on tinder, about a year ago last spring, and there the toxicity seeped in...
she was in my city for a work conference and we spent one night together. she was recovering from a recent break-up and seemed shell-shocked and emotionally vacant. i knew she was a codependent type right then and there. she kept txting me afterwards, says she only talks to one person at a time. she's enthusiastic and oversharing with me by a ratio of 3:1, yet i get cynical and cold because she's a tinder girl and eventually stop responding.
last fall she initiates contact again, we talk for a while and she vaguely hints at a trip to see me. things drag on and it almost doesn't happen, but suddenly it's back on.
she's since visited me on 3 different weekends. she's been nothing but good to me with periodic spurts of clinginess. but i learn that in the preceding months, before we talked again, she'd been going on dates. many, many dates. she only likes asian guys and there aren't so many in her area, so she cast a broad net. she slept with fewer than 10 of them, including one that was a casual sex partner for several months.
i shouldn't have been, and was a total hypocrite to be, but was devastated at this defilement of innocence. part of it was guilt knowing that my ghosting her in the spring probably led to this. she was a dumb needy girl, she has no control over her actions or feelings, and i let her get raped by an app.
i never did quite look at her the same way again. in particular, i stalked her fb pics and preferred the younger, more innocent, provably wholesome version of her that was even more radiant and cheerful looking. i also knew she was getting fat, she was too emotional, and her dumbness and dependency would get unbearable in the end.
i began
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3937376&forum_id=2#35749402) |