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Anyone else's parents weird about sharing info on health problems with other fam

I guess I don't talk with my grandma as much as I should, bu...
Passionate marketing idea
  04/22/18
it's non of your business creep
Razzle brunch place of business
  04/22/18
My grandmother moving into assisted living is none of my bus...
Passionate marketing idea
  04/23/18
yeah imagine having one foot in the grave and making your hu...
Razzle brunch place of business
  04/23/18
You don't seem to understand, my dad is a narcissistic drama...
Passionate marketing idea
  04/23/18
Wtf maybe he wants to visit her
Black double fault wagecucks
  04/23/18
They know you don't truly give a shit and are loath to engag...
Dashing Blathering Ticket Booth
  04/22/18
My grandma had a heart attack a couple of months ago and has...
Passionate marketing idea
  04/23/18
I hate family gossip. They aren't there to "help each o...
Bisexual Garrison
  04/23/18
It's just really suspect right now, because my sister is mov...
Passionate marketing idea
  04/23/18
Why not straight up ask them?
Bisexual Garrison
  04/23/18
I will talk with them about it. I talked with them earlie...
Passionate marketing idea
  04/23/18
Sorry, man. I personally hate my family and have kept my dis...
Bisexual Garrison
  04/23/18
I get it. I moved away from my family precisely because of h...
Passionate marketing idea
  04/23/18
i get that you are hurt because this is pretty big news, and...
Twinkling giraffe parlor
  04/23/18
Well, she's definitely been on a bit of decline over the las...
Passionate marketing idea
  04/23/18
he's ashamed that he's putting her in a home instead of taki...
grizzly exhilarant principal's office digit ratio
  04/23/18
...
Twinkling giraffe parlor
  04/23/18
...
exciting hominid
  04/23/18
To some extent, this is part of it. My dad lives in the s...
Passionate marketing idea
  04/23/18


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Date: April 22nd, 2018 11:52 PM
Author: Passionate marketing idea

I guess I don't talk with my grandma as much as I should, but tonight I found out from her that she is about to move into an assisted living facility.

My father has ordinarily been something of a clearinghouse on what is going on with everyone else in the family, so to not hear this information from him is pretty suspect. He definitely knew and chose not to share this with me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35897868)



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Date: April 22nd, 2018 11:54 PM
Author: Razzle brunch place of business

it's non of your business creep

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35897883)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:04 AM
Author: Passionate marketing idea

My grandmother moving into assisted living is none of my business?

My dad is happy to keep people in the loop on everything else that is going on in the family.

In fact, he's been on the flip side of this kind of thing in the past. He blabbed about my sister's miscarriage to a bunch of people, which royally pissed off my sister

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35897964)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:22 AM
Author: Razzle brunch place of business

yeah imagine having one foot in the grave and making your humiliating end-of-life pretty much official by moving into a old fogey's home, I'm sure you'll be thinking "gee I hope my weird as fuck xo poaster grandson hears about this asap"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898071)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:37 AM
Author: Passionate marketing idea

You don't seem to understand, my dad is a narcissistic drama queen.

My grandma would have been happy to share what is going on with her but she's weird about calling people.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898142)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 2:42 AM
Author: Black double fault wagecucks

Wtf maybe he wants to visit her

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898514)



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Date: April 22nd, 2018 11:59 PM
Author: Dashing Blathering Ticket Booth

They know you don't truly give a shit and are loath to engage in the whole "Aunt Doris had her leg removed" "Oh, such a pity!" pantomime with you. Call her sometime and find out for yourself.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35897935)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:07 AM
Author: Passionate marketing idea

My grandma had a heart attack a couple of months ago and has legit been on the mend.

I called her once not so long ago and she told me that she fell down trying to answer my call. She wasn't injured, but fuck it hurt to hear :(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35897981)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:01 AM
Author: Bisexual Garrison

I hate family gossip. They aren't there to "help each other" but to "learn about what's going on with each other." It's interesting gossip to get once in a while, and as long as you call back to "check" you can pretend you give a shit while doing nothing for them.

I hate my extended family and never talk to them because of the above stated facts.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35897944)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:13 AM
Author: Passionate marketing idea

It's just really suspect right now, because my sister is moving and my parents have stepped in to try and help as much as they can (despite living a couple hundred miles away from her and being old and not really able to lift stuff)

Meanwhile my grandma is moving in a matter of weeks and they can't even mention it to me?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898019)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:33 AM
Author: Bisexual Garrison

Why not straight up ask them?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898126)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:44 AM
Author: Passionate marketing idea

I will talk with them about it.

I talked with them earlier today and they didn't say anything about it. I found out later this evening when I talked with my grandma myself.

This thread though isn't exactly about her, it's about my parents selectively not sharing things when they ought to, and sharing other things when it's pretty clear that they shouldn't.

It's really fucking frustrating

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898170)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 2:00 AM
Author: Bisexual Garrison

Sorry, man. I personally hate my family and have kept my distance from them for other reasons, so I feel you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898413)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 2:09 AM
Author: Passionate marketing idea

I get it. I moved away from my family precisely because of how shitty they can be.

I just wish I'd be more kept in the loop on the really serious stuff

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898453)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:18 AM
Author: Twinkling giraffe parlor

i get that you are hurt because this is pretty big news, and it sounds like you were the last to hear. i might also think it was an intentional omission given your dads past behavior, which is indeoendently hurtful

It's a difficult transition both for your grandma and your dad. i really try not to infer bad intentions, so maybe now that you know, focis on being as helpful as your can to your grandma.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898052)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:32 AM
Author: Passionate marketing idea

Well, she's definitely been on a bit of decline over the last year or so.

This thread isn't even really about her though TBH. It's about my dad either omitting info or oversharing at basically every possible opportunity.

There have been multiple events with himself and my mother that I didn't hear about until unacceptably late in the process of things. Somewhat recently, he passed out and had the rescue squad called on him and I didn't find out until well afterward.

He put the family dog down when I was in college without telling me about it beforehand.

With my sister's miscarriage, she suddenly started getting sympathy cards in the mail from fairly distant relatives despite her only telling our mother about it. It was her first pregnancy and she was pretty distraught about it. My sister was so pissed that she ceased talking to my mom and dad, which made my mother nearly suicidal.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898123)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:20 AM
Author: grizzly exhilarant principal's office digit ratio

he's ashamed that he's putting her in a home instead of taking her in, and is shocked that as a boomer he can feel shame

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898059)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:21 AM
Author: Twinkling giraffe parlor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898066)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 2:12 AM
Author: exciting hominid



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898462)



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Date: April 23rd, 2018 2:35 AM
Author: Passionate marketing idea

To some extent, this is part of it.

My dad lives in the same city as my grandma.

My dad has this second home a hundred miles or so away from my grandma. He absolutely loves it there but she's supposedly been lobbying to get them to spend more time on her & less time at their vacation home

Getting old sucks for real and I don't envy my father or grandmother in the totality of all of this

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898502)